21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Meghan

I had already downed two glasses of wine and was about to pour a hearty third glass when Ryder texted me that he was on his way over to my apartment.

Butterflies fluttered in my belly as I nervously paced my living room. I was about to share another monumental part of myself with Ryder and I was a disaster. I knew Ryder wanted me. He had made that abundantly clear many times as he refused to give up on the pursuit of us in a relationship, but once I spilled this last piece, there was no going back now.

I was about to place my heart in Ryder's hands and if he broke it, I wasn't sure if I could ever come back from this. I wasn't sure a heart could heal from being broken twice.

A knock on the door startled me from my own thoughts. I was grateful that Kirsten and Ashley were out for the evening and weren't able to see me so nervous and emotional.

Opening the door, my heart skipped a beat as I spotted Ryder standing in the doorway, his massive frame looming over me like a tree. He had one arm propped on the wall and the other tucked in his pocket. He was still dressed in his black security uniform and I had to admit, a man in uniform was a delicious sight. I could only imagine how rugged and handsome he looked in his SEALS getup.

"Are you going to let me in, or are you going to stand there and drool over me all night?" Ryder asked, breaking the silence.

I shook my head furiously as I struggled not to laugh. He was an arrogant devil, but he still knew how to drive me wild.

"Come in," I said, waving for him to enter my apartment.

As he brushed past me, I felt his arm touch my breasts, a deliberate act I was sure. A smug grin played on his lips as he made himself at home by sitting on my black, leather couch.

"Where are your roommates?" he asked, glancing around at the empty apartment.

"Kirsten and Ashley went to a new night club. They won't be back for hours," I said, unsure why I felt the need to add that last part.

Ryder nodded. "So, you said you wanted to see me tonight?" he said, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

I definitely needed more wine for this conversation. I picked up my wine glass and realized it was almost empty. "Do you want some wine, first?" I asked.

"Sure," Ryder stated, watching me with amusement in his eyes. It was clear he could see how nervous I was right now and he was loving every second of it.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed the rest of the bottle and another wine glass. I poured us both some sweet Riesling and then I sat on the recliner chair across from Ryder. We both sipped our wine for a few minutes. Finally, I mustered the courage to say what I needed to.

"Ryder, I had a really insightful conversation today with my boss, Melanie," I began.

"That's great," he said, placing his glass down on the coffee table. He leaned his elbows on his knees and as he stared at me.

"Yeah. I guess today I got a little emotional thinking about everything that has happened between us," I added.

Ryder sat back, his smile fading. Realizing he probably thought I was going to offer to stop dating, I rushed right into what I was going to say. "I think you don't understand. Melanie had her heart broken years ago, but she overcame her tragedy. When I think about us-- you and me, it makes me so nervous. What I feel for you is strong and intense and honestly, it scares the hell out of me. But, I know that's a good thing. It means I'm alive and finally living my life again. Wade's death broke me, but I know that Wade would never want me to be sad and alone. I'm sure if I could see him now, he would be fussing at me for being so dramatic," I said, laughing a little. "Part of what scares me about you is your job. You put yourself at risk every single day and the thought of losing you…" I trail off.

Ryder remained silent as I took a second to get myself in check.

"As much as I tried to fight my feelings for you, I just can't. I just want you to know that I am willing to see where this relationship goes, but please, don't break my heart."

Ryder is silent and I swear I think we can both hear the rapid beating of my heart as I wait for him to do or say anything. Suddenly, he stands and crosses the room. I'm taken aback at first, but when he lends down and places my hand in his, I feel my body begin to react.

His lips press against mine and my breath is momentarily taken away. Closing my eyes, I take in this moment as Ryder slips his tongue inside my mouth. Our kiss is like a rhythmic dance and I love the way our bodies are moving in sync.

When we break, I am panting as his eyes bore deep into mine.

"Meghan, I won't break your heart," he says, lifting me up in his strong arms.

I wrap my legs around his waist and crash my lips back to his again. At this moment, I can feel all of the desire swirling between the both of us. Maybe this is too fast, but I don't care. I need this man inside of me. I need his body on mine and I need to feel his heart against my skin.

I want him to stay with me tonight, but at the same time, I know that would be asking a lot right now. We began to move and I pointed toward my bedroom as I held onto him.

His kiss never wavered as we stumbled down the hall to my room. He kissed me with a hunger so intense, I let out a small moan. The smell of his sweet and musky scent made my head swim.

Crashing down on my bed, my hands quickly began loosening the button on his jeans as I struggled to kick his pants down to his knees. His hands roamed from my neck and then gently tugged my shirt as he quickly lifted it over my head before making his way down to my white lace bra. Taking a moment, Ryder released his grip from my lips and he began to admire my now bare chest. Only the moonlight filtered in through the window blinds and the glow seemed to illuminate his beautiful face. As he watched me carefully, I took the opportunity to remove the rest of the fabric on his body so there wasn't anything between us now.

Tugging on his jeans, Ryder removed them in one quick movement that had me giggling before he crushed his lips back down on mine.

Ryder's hands began to roam down my neck and to my waist as he placed small kisses over every inch of my trembling body. As I allowed my body to be taken over by Ryder. My eyes roamed over his body, examining every muscle, curve, and...tattoo. Now that was an exciting find. Licking my lips, I felt an urge to reach out and lick the colors inked into his arm.

Glancing up at me again, Ryder took in a deep breath. "Are you sure about this?" he asked, breathless. "I don't want you doing anything you aren't ready for."

Nodding my head yes, I allowed that to confirm that I wanted him as desperately as he wanted me. Kissing me again as he used his legs to open mine wider. "Yes, I need you," I breathed.

Crashing his lips to mine, Ryder allowed his tongue to push past my lips. Once inside my mouth, I began to suck on his tongue, in a slow rhythm that drove him insane. My body throbbed with the need to please him as I continued my slow taunt of his mouth. I could feel him growing hard against my leg and from what I could feel, he was working with a lot.

Ryder's eyes grew wide as he gazed at me. I knew my actions were driving him wild, and that was exactly what I wanted to do. As his hands roamed over the most sensitive parts of my body, I allowed a loud moan to escape from my lips. I arched my back and threw my head back as I inhaled a breath.

"I'm clean," he advised.

Shit, I hadn't thought about sex in so long, I didn't have any condoms available.

"Me too," I replied. "I could go check the bathroom for a condom, if you want," I ask.

I am hoping he says no. While reckless, I don't want him to get off of me right now. We are so close to crossing that line of no return.

"Would you hate me if I said I didn't want you to use one? I've never been inside of a woman without a condom and I want to experience that with you," he says.

I suck in a breath as his statement both shocks and exhilarates me.

"I want to feel you inside of me," I moan, giving him the ok to move on.

Ryder smirks and then I feel him move my panties before he begins to move inside of me. My clit retracts and opens for him. I gasp as he moves deeper inside of me.

I buck my hips, taking him in as far as I can get. As he begins to rock in and out of me, I hold onto him like he is my lifeline.

My climax builds with each thrust and just when I think I am not going to be able to last any longer, he slows his movements and slips a finger down to rub my clit. I lean in and barely nibble his shoulder to keep from screaming so loud, the neighbors may call the police.

I can feel Ryder's erection throbbing as he, too, is about to find his release.

"Faster. Harder," I plead, letting my head fall back.

Ryder begins to move at a quick pace, while trailing kisses down my neck.

"I'm about to come," he shouts, pulling out of me and shooting his come on the bed.

I climax too, falling back on the bed and smiling as I catch my breath.

Ryder rolls over and props his head on his elbow. His dangerous and flirty smile makes me blush as he looks at me. I am vulnerable right now. Naked and all of my emotions already displayed for him. There is nothing left hidden with this man.

Ryder leans in again and places a soft and sweet kiss on my lips. "That was incredible. You are incredible," he says.

I brush his hair out of his face and allow my fingers to trail down his cheek. The stubble on his chin feels funny beneath my fingers, but I realize it's something I want to feel over and over again.

"That was unexpected, but amazing," I breathe.

"Can I stay the night?" Ryder asks.

I nod, yes, as I fall into his arms. Together, we fall asleep together cradled in one another's arms.