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14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Meghan

A n alarm is going off somewhere in the distance. I stop walking and my body instantly freezes. A large, red fire truck zooms past me and I can feel my legs beginning to shake, threatening to give out on me at any second.

"Miss, are you alright?" a voice asks me.

I shake my head, trying to clear the fear and worry away so I don't look crazy right now.

I turn my head and see an old woman staring at me with concern in her eyes.

I try to muster a smile, but I am sure it makes me look deranged. "Yes, sorry. The engine just startled me," I say.

She nods, gives me a strange once over, and then continues on her way down the sidewalk. I hate that my body instantly freezes at the sound of the wails of a firetruck. Ever since Wade died, I can't stand to hear that sound. And, living in a big city, I hear them all of the time.

I continue walking down the sidewalk on my way home from work. My afternoon surprise lunch with Ryder had been a nice change to my day, but now, I was worried that the fire truck was a sign that I shouldn't entertain Ryder with a date this weekend.

I mean, I know it's not technically a date, but still.

I'm still lost in my own head when I walk into my apartment. Kirsten and Stacey are already home and have the music blasting as they cook in the kitchen. The delicious scent of garlic and marina floats through the living room and I know they are busy preparing their famous lasagna.

I greet them in the kitchen as they dance around. I remember a time when I used to dance and sing with no cares in the world. I feel my heartbreak a little as I think back to a time when I wasn't living with a broken heart.

"Hey," I yell over the music.

They both turn and smile as they continue singing. I laugh at their silly behavior and then head to my room to change out of my work clothes.

An hour later, we are sitting down in the living room with hearty plates of the warm lasagna and glasses of wine. The television is tuned in to one of our favorite reality shows.

When a commercial appears, Kirsten turns down the volume and they both turn and stare at me.

"What?" I ask, as I take a sip of my sweet, white wine.

"So, I heard about your little afternoon date," Kirsten says, her eyes flashing with excitement.

Sighing, I drop my head. "It wasn't a date," I argue.

Stacey laughs and lays her plate on the coffee table. "From what Kirsten said, you had a handsome gentleman waiting for you outside of your work today," she says.

"What, do you all have spies following me?" I ask. Even though my tone is sharp, they know I am not mad. Annoyed, but not mad.

"No, I just have a window facing the street," Kirsten giggles. "So, spill the details," she firmly states.

I know I could try to get out of this, but there is no way either of them are going to let me escape. "Fine," I begin. They both sit up straight with goofy grins plastered on their faces. "Ryder has been emailing me to the point of harassment. I stopped replying and he decided to wait for me to go on my lunch break. We ordered tacos from that truck that parks down the street. Anyway, we ate lunch together and talked. He's a really nice guy," I say, trying to keep my tone even.

As I talk about Ryder, I feel my pulse quicken and my heart leaps in my chest. I hate my body for defying my mind, but I just can't help how he makes me feel. But, I can control how I react on the outside.

"When are you going on another date?" Stacey asks.

"We are going to have dinner as friends this weekend. It's not a date," I clarify.

"Sure, it's not," Kirsten giggles.

"I'm serious," I argue, throwing a small decorative pillow from the couch at Kirsten. "We can't mix business and pleasure together."

She dodges the attack and sits up, laughing. "Ryder has it bad for you, Meghan. You should totally jump on that hunk of a man," she says, wiggling her brows at me.

"He barely knows me," I say, trying to hide a smile that threatens to give me away.

"I wish you would just let yourself live again," Stacey adds in, her tone now serious.

"I am," I say, but I don't add more. We all know that I am fibbing.

"No, you are getting by," Kirsten pipes in. "Wade would want you to be happy. Aren't you tired of people telling you that? I get that you might not be ready to date again, but who said you can't go out and just have some harmless fun? Sleep with him. Go on dates. Have fun. Just live," she finishes.

For the first time in forever, I truly consider the advice someone is giving me. Yes, falling in love again isn't something I am willing to entertain, but it might be nice to just let loose and have some wild fun. I hadn't been touched by a man in so long, just the thought of it had my body tingling with need.

"Maybe. I will think about it," I say to them.

That seems to satisfy them for the moment. Thankfully, they don't notice that during the rest of our show, all I can think about is what it would be like to be under Ryder.

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