Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

January 28 th

8:44 A.M.

Whoever said breathing through pain helped was an idiot.

Nothing helped this kind of pain.

Not a single thing.

It was just … there.

Kind of living inside her like it was a real being with its own thoughts and feelings. It ran from her wounds through her body, spending time in her stomach making nausea churn, then it would dart up to her head, into her brain, making it spin and spin like she was stuck on a carousel running at full speed that never stopped.

It made no difference if she tried to block it out, smooth out her breathing in an attempt to regulate it, it was just there, doing its thing, uncaring of the impact it was having on her.

At least it was quiet.

Zimraan had had his fun and disappeared inside to have breakfast with his men, leaving her and Zander alone out there. There wasn't really anything to talk about, he'd been beaten and she'd been skinned, and they were both scared, alone, and hurting. Talking about it wasn't going to change anything, and anyway, Lucy didn't think she had the energy to talk right now.

She just wanted to lie there, soaking up these moments of peace, even if they were ruined by pain because sooner or later Zimraan would be back.

How long did it take to skin someone alive?

Hours?

Days?

Weeks?

If he paused in between, went slowly, taking his time, only doing so much each day so he didn't throw her body into shock, could he keep her alive for weeks?

That was a terrifying possibility.

Just like Zander had warned her would happen, she was more than ready to start praying for death and she'd only survived maybe an hour or so of torture.

How had Zander survived the aftermath of living through something like this?

Her admiration for him went up even though she already thought he was one of the most amazing men she had ever had the pleasure of meeting. He was so strong and so brave. He was loyal and been willing to do whatever it took to get justice for the men he had served with. But he was also compassionate enough to put her life above what had been his only purpose for living.

If he was the only one to walk away alive again, Lucy prayed that he wouldn't shut Scarlett out this time, he was going to need his sister and her support to make it through this. Because the last thing she would want was for her death to destroy him. Zander deserved to be happy, he deserved to be loved, he deserved all the joy in the world, and if he couldn't have those things with her then she hoped he could find it with someone else.

Someone who could see just how special he was.

He was special.

Very special.

"Lucy."

The sound of her name startled her out of the hazy little bubble she'd somehow managed to float inside of, and her pain came roaring back. The cold against the wounds on her stomach, her chest, and her left breast made them sting like crazy, and the throbbing pain was more than enough to drive her insane.

"Luce, baby girl, answer me."

Zander sounded worried, and she wanted to soothe away all his anxiety. Pepper kisses to his lips, and smooth her hands up and down his impressive abs, anything so long as he didn't sound so tortured and lost.

"Come on, honey, let me know you're okay."

Yesterday, when they'd first woken up there, she'd called out to him like that several times before he finally answered. She'd begged and pleaded and wept, thinking that he was already gone, and now she wanted to answer, to assure him that she was okay, but she couldn't seem to make her voice work.

Curses filled the courtyard, along with the jangle of a chain, and she realized that Zander was trying to get to her even though they both knew it was impossible.

"I'm … okay," she slurred, her voice much weaker than she would have liked. But she was dehydrated, hypothermic, and had open wounds. It was the best she could do at the moment.

"I'm so sorry, Lucy."

There was so much pain in Zander's voice that tears flooded her eyes, spilling over and trailing icy paths down her cold cheeks.

Why did this have to happen to them?

Why couldn't they have gotten their happy ever after?

Neither of them had even realized that they wanted one until they met each other, but now that they had, Lucy wanted it all. The whole white picket fence, big home with a pool, kids, and a dog, waking up each morning wrapped in the arms of the man you loved and going to sleep each night the same way, growing old with a partner by your side.

That should be their future.

Not this.

Not cold, and pain, and death.

She wanted to rage against the unfairness of it all, but honestly, she was too tired to bother.

But not too tired to offer what reassurances she could. "S'okay, Zander. Not your fault," she murmured sleepily.

Now that she thought about it the pain was dulling a little, being overtaken by exhaustion.

Her eyes were too heavy to hold open, and they drifted closed, the pale blue of the sky disappearing. The cold had worn out her muscles after hours of shaking and now they felt heavy, but not unpleasantly so. And with the pain fading a little, maybe she could finally get some sleep.

Sleep.

That sounded so nice.

Almost magical.

It would be so wonderful to just drift away for a while, away from this hell hole, just disappear into a nice, big, cozy hole of peaceful, inky blackness.

"Stay awake for me, baby. I need you to stay awake, can you do that for me?"

Zander's voice pierced holes in her little sleepy bubble, dragging her further back into reality. She wanted to fight against it, let go of everything, but the fear in his voice was like an anchor holding her there.

"I'm awake," she mumbled.

"Good, good girl, you stay with me, okay? I know you're tired, and I know you're hurting, but I need you to stay with me. I know it's not fair, but I can't let you go yet, you hear me? I need to keep you with me. I'm so damn sorry you got dragged into this, baby girl. I wish like hell I knew a way to get you out, and I'll try, I promise you I'll try, but you have to do your part, okay? And that means staying awake, it means staying with me. I need you," he whispered the last part, but his words carried to her, and she pried her eyes open and turned her head so she could see him.

"I'm here, you have me," she whispered back.

Their eyes met.

Held.

So much flowed between them.

It felt like it was too early to even think about the L word, and yet she might never get another chance to tell Zander she was falling in love with him. Those weren't words she wanted to say with an audience, any audience, but especially Zimraan and his men, but they were alone now.

Just as she parted her lips to tell him how she felt, the doors to the houses burst open and at least three dozen men spilled out.

More men than had been out there before when Zimraan had taunted Zander, then had him beaten before torturing her with his knife.

Something was going on.

Something that had scared the young terrorist if the expressions on the faces of his men were anything to go by.

Since she didn't speak Arabic, Lucy couldn't pick up much of what was being said, but then Zimraan began to speak and she learned what was happening.

"How did you do it?" Zimraan yelled at Zander. "How did you tell them where you were?"

Her ears perked up at that. Someone was coming? Could it be Prey? Had they somehow figured out where she and Zander were being held?

Was that too much to hope for?

Apparently, it wasn't because the sounds of gunfire filled the morning, and Lucy cried out in relief.

Someone was coming and it had to be Prey.

Zimraan shouted instructions at his men, most of whom seemed to be scurrying around like chickens with their heads chopped off.

In the commotion, it was hard to keep track of what was going on, and she startled when hands suddenly began to undo the chains holding her on the table.

When she looked up into Zimraan's cold, dead eyes, she knew that fate wasn't going to smile on her today.

"I'm not dying here today, I'm getting out of here alive, and you're going to make sure nobody stops me," the young man snarled before dragging her to her feet and pressing the blade of his knife against her throat.

January 28 th

9:10 A.M.

Where was Lucy?

Zander couldn't see her through the crowd of men filling the courtyard.

Something was clearly going on, from what he'd been able to pick up, a helo had just dropped a dozen men not far from the compound, and they were making quick work of approaching.

Although he had no idea how they'd managed to do it, the men had to be Prey. Somehow, they'd found the location of where he and Lucy were being held and mounted a rescue. It was the only scenario that made sense even if he didn't understand it.

All he had to do was keep himself and Lucy alive until Zimraan and his men were either dead or in custody.

He could do that.

He had to do that.

Because he wasn't losing his girl.

If Lucy was able to forgive him for getting her abducted and tortured, then he was going to hold onto the happy ending they both wanted and refuse to let go. If she couldn't find a way to forgive him, he'd completely understand and walk away without causing her any more pain.

It would kill him to do it and go against his every instinct to fight for his woman, but he'd hurt her enough, he wasn't going to make it any worse.

Right now, it was hard to see how Lucy could possibly forgive him for all of this, but he had to put his faith in the promises she'd made him. Ignoring the little voice in the back of his mind that whispered she'd made those promises before she'd been strapped to a table and had her skin peeled off.

Maybe it was ludicrous to believe he still had a chance with her, but right now, it was the only thing he had to cling to.

Protect his girl.

Keep her alive.

That was what he had to focus on, everything else could be sorted out later.

A cry of pain drew his attention.

That was Lucy's voice.

Lucy's pain.

Someone was hurting her.

Unacceptable.

Rage clouded his vision. Somehow, the saying about anger turning your vision red seemed to be true because it was like a haze of red suddenly filled the courtyard.

The beast inside him howled to be let out, confident it could do what it took to protect what was theirs.

For once he was grateful for that darkness because he needed it to survive. Lucy did, too.

She was counting on him, and he wasn't going to let her down.

He'd already failed her, failed his team, failed his sister, there couldn't be any more failure. Not when the stakes were this high.

So, he let out a growl of anger and kicked out at the nearest body.

Caught off-guard, the man stumbled and fell to his knees close enough for Zander to reach. Planting both hands on either side of the man's head, he jerked them sideways and heard the satisfying sound of the man's neck breaking.

Dropping the now dead body at his side, Zander snatched up the man's weapon and began to fire it.

Not expecting gunshots to be fired from inside the courtyard where they believed they were safe, men began to drop left, right, and center.

Screams of pain filled the air, along with the growing stench of blood.

But Zander didn't stop.

He didn't care that he had no cover, he fired at anything that moved, praying that somehow Lucy managed to avoid being hit. Vaguely, he was aware of some return fire, of bullets hitting the sandy dirt millimeters from his feet, and pinging off the stone wall behind him, but he was too focused to care.

Protect what was his.

Kill anything that got in the way.

That was all he cared about.

His own life was inconsequential. He would gladly give it up if it meant keeping his beautiful, brave woman alive.

By the time everything fell silent, Zander was breathing hard, and wavering on his feet. Too many hours out in the cold, with nothing to eat or drink, plus the head injury from being knocked out, and the likeliness that he'd been fed drugs to keep him out until he was brought to Syria was taking a toll on his body.

But his mind was still laser-focused.

There were dead bodies littering the ground of the courtyard, at least thirty of them, but there was only one person he cared about.

Only when his gaze fell on the table he found it empty.

Lucy was gone.

A whistle was the only announcement he got before black-clad figures entered the courtyard.

Without that whistle, he would have opened fire without thought, eliminating whoever it was.

But the whistle told him it was someone on his side.

Still, he kept the weapon in his hands, aimed at the dozen men who were cautiously entering the courtyard, their own weapons trained at the sea of bodies on the ground, no doubt searching for anyone who moved.

The only one left moving was him.

"Zander, you hurt, man?" a man asked, approaching him slowly. Despite the adrenalin pumping through his system along with fear for Lucy, he was able to identify the man as Rex, a SEAL on the team who had been working with Prey to bring down Raul Castillo.

Giving a single nod, not sure whether his answer was truthful or not, he scanned the mass of bodies, still searching for the only one he cared about. But there was not a hint of the lavender sweater Lucy had been wearing when they'd been taken.

"Lucy," he said, seemingly unable to get more words out.

"Do you know where she is?" Phantom asked, coming up beside Rex.

"She was here. When the shooting started, she was here. There, on the table," he said, pointing to the table that was stained with her blood. Where was she? How had she gotten free and where had she gone? Was she hiding somewhere, scared by all the shooting?

"Start looking for Lucy," Rocco called out to the men, who immediately began walking amongst the bodies searching for the only woman.

"Lucy?" Zander called out, too wired to do anything about the desperation in his tone, and even if he could, he didn't care that these men knew how important she was to him. In fact, he wanted to stand on the mountaintops and scream it to the whole world. To let everybody know that Lucy was his, that someone like her would want to be with a man like him. "Baby, answer me! Are you hurt? Lucy, you can come out now, it's okay, please, baby girl, answer me."

This was his payback for being unable to answer her that first night, it had to be.

The terror pulsing inside him was karma, reminding him that at every turn he managed to fail the woman who held his heart in her hands.

"We'll find her," Gumby said, kneeling at his feet and using bolt cutters to snap the chain that bound him.

As soon as he was free, Zander began to help the others search through the bodies looking for Lucy.

With every one he turned over, he was painfully aware that Lucy could have been hit, that she could be bleeding out at this very second, or already dead.

No.

He couldn't allow himself to think that.

Not without proof.

Lucy had to be alive. She had to be. Because how was he supposed to go on without her?

"Where is she? Lucy, where are you? Why isn't she answering?" he demanded of no one in particular, all too aware of how close he was to falling apart. A few more minutes with no response from Lucy and he was going to lose it. Already he was wavering on the edge, a single misstep, and he'd be in full-on meltdown mode. Completely useless to anyone, including the woman who needed him.

"She has to be here," Bubba reminded him.

That was cold comfort given the SEAL team and the men from Prey appeared to be the only living people inside the courtyard.

If Lucy was in there then she was dead.

It was already too late.

He'd already lost her.

Something ripped open inside him, an invisible wound, one that tore through his heart leaving a shattered mess inside his chest. Lucy was gone and that meant she'd taken his heart along with her because it belonged to her.

Zander wished he'd told her he was falling in love with her when he had the chance. But he'd been a coward, felt like telling her he loved her was somehow going to jinx things, and was tantamount to admitting they weren't going to make it out alive.

Suddenly Rocco's eyes snapped to his as he listened to whatever was being said into his comms.

"What?" Zander demanded.

"That was the pilot, he says someone's approaching the helo," Rocco told him. "A man and a woman. Looks like it could be Zimraan Mostafa, and he's using Lucy as a human shield."