Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

March 1 st

9:35 A.M.

Ella hated this.

It was perhaps one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do, and she was only one week into the month-long ordeal she was going to have to find a way to endure.

Agreeing to go along with this hadn't been easy, but how could she deny Miguel when it was clear this was what he believed he needed in order to be able to commit to any sort of future with her?

Wasn't like he’d done it in a blackmailing kind of way. Agree to do this or I won't be with you. He’d explained his reasoning, his fears and concerns, why he thought this would be helpful for him, and while she didn't necessarily agree that this was what he needed to move forward, how could she tell him that she knew better than he did what he’d been through?

So she’d agreed.

To one month apart before they officially became a couple.

One month.

One very long month that right now she had no idea how she was going to survive.

When he’d first told her that he needed to prove to himself that he wasn't so obsessed with her and a life with her that he could spend a month away from her without being consumed with the need to turn to drugs it hadn't sounded all that bad. A month was only thirty days long—well, technically, thirty-one, but the extra hadn't seemed so bad—it should be easy enough to not see him for that amount of time.

Texting was supposed to be out as well, but she’d negotiated it in, saying that she understood why he felt he needed this time to prove things to himself, but she had needs, too, and one of them was contact with him. So they texted a little, not as much as she would have liked, but enough to get through each day knowing she at least got to tell him she was thinking of him and know he was thinking of her in return.

That helped enough to make the separation bearable, and she did have a lot to keep her occupied. Medical appointments, counseling sessions with Piper, debriefing and several meetings with the cops and Prey as she gave her statement several times over. There had also been a lot of spending time with her team and trying to rebuild those bonds that had been the foundation of her whole life these last several years since they joined Prey.

Spending time each day with her Athena Team girls, and the guys was actually helping. They’d all stepped up to be there for her, but she still missed Miguel.

The first week he hadn't left her side. Although he’d told her about his need to spend an entire month away from her as soon as she’d regained consciousness in the hospital, he’d assured her he wasn't bailing right away. He’d stayed with her in the hospital, taken her home when she was discharged, and looked after her those first few days. It wasn't until she was able to do things for herself again that he kissed her goodbye and promised that once he was confident he was never going to put her in danger from his addictions he’d be back.

There was a little thread of anger at him leaving when she still needed him, Ella couldn’t deny that. But there was also compassion and understanding because she recognized that Miguel was trying to do the best he could with what he had. She also understood that he truly believed this was something he needed to do.

It just sucked.

With a sigh, she shoved off the couch and wandered over to the kitchen. Ella wasn't really hungry, she still hadn't reclaimed her appetite, but she wasn't sure if it was the lingering effects from the concussion or just because she was missing Miguel so much.

Still, she grabbed a bar of chocolate and wandered back over to the couch, flopping down onto it. A headache still pulsed at the back of her head most days, but nothing compared to how bad it had been those first few days. There were other bruises and several gashes, including a couple that had needed stitches, littering her body, but most of the pain from them had been overshadowed by her head.

At least the dizziness was gone now, that had been a nightmare.

Not that she was really regretting those few days she and Miguel spent mostly snuggled up side by side in her bed as she slept off the worst of the concussion symptoms. Even as exhausted as she’d been, as bad as the pain, nausea, and dizziness had been, she wouldn't take back those days for anything.

Now, all she had to do was get through the next three weeks and then she could have a whole lifetime of moments just like that.

Of course, they’d had the discussion before Miguel went that there were no guarantees about the future. They were right at the very beginning of a relationship and hadn't even officially put a foot on the track yet. Despite all of that, they both felt what was between them, both knew it had the potential to become an all-consuming love affair that would last until they took their final breaths.

Even then she believed their souls would find one another in the afterlife. That she and Miguel were destined to be together for all eternity.

“It’s only another three weeks,” she reminded herself aloud.

Three weeks.

More than actually.

It felt like a lifetime.

A knock on her door had her dragging herself back to her feet, the forgotten chocolate bar tumbling to the floor as she stood. Not bothering to retrieve it she headed for the front door, already knowing who would be there.

Her Athena Team girls.

They came every morning. Not too early as she still found herself needing a solid ten hours of sleep minimum, but early enough that she wouldn't be tempted to make herself lunch. That was their job now, well apparently, it certainly seemed like it since they’d been there around ten every single morning. One of them would drive her to her appointment with Piper in the afternoon, and then they’d all eat dinner together.

Athena Team was temporarily on leave from Prey, and they all needed it.

All of them had been victimized by Dora Hibbert and Raul Castillo, and they all needed to heal. Individually and as a team. They’d allowed the mole to come between them, and while things might not ever be exactly the same as they’d been before, Ella was confident that she could move forward and keep working at the job she loved with the people she loved even if they’d hurt her when they doubted her.

As predicted, when she opened her door all three of her friends were standing on her doorstep, along with their guys. It hurt a little to see the happy couples, but even though she missed him, Ella was still proud of the fact that Miguel was so determined not to repeat his parents’ mistakes.

“You guys are a little early today,” she said as she stepped back to allow them all to enter.

“We missed you,” Cassie said, giving her a gentle hug.

“I missed you, too,” Ella admitted. It was true as well. Miguel wasn't the only one she was missing these days.

“You did?” Scarlett asked, eyes lighting up.

“I did,” she confirmed. “I'm glad we’ve got this time to spend together, I think we need it.”

“We definitely do,” Lucy said, hobbling into the room, her foot still in a moon boot.

“You heard from my idiot brother today?” Luis asked as they all headed for the living room.

Protectiveness swirled inside her. Miguel wasn't an idiot. He was trying to do the right thing, he was trying to protect her from pain. Just because she wished he was there didn't mean she would stand for anyone speaking bad about him. “He’s not an idiot. He’s honorable and noble, and doing what he has to do to keep me and himself safe.”

“Little brother picked good,” Luis said, beaming at her like she hadn't just told him off.

Ella huffed. “And to answer your question, yes I have. I hear from him every day.”

“Hey, Ella.” Luis grabbed her hand, stopping her before she could drop back down onto the couch. “I get why he’s doing it. I think he’s wrong, he’s nothing like our parents, but I respect him wanting to make sure he can trust himself.”

“It’s important to him, and that makes it important to me,” she said.

“Which is exactly why I think my brother did a good job when he picked you.”

“I think it was more like the universe picked us for each other,” she said, offering him a smile.

“I know the feeling,” Cassie said, snuggling into Luis’ side when the two of them sat down side by side.

“Ditto,” Lucy agreed, all smiles when Zander fussed around her helping her get comfortable.

“I think the universe did some excellent matchmaking,” Scarlett said, sliding her hand into Tate’s.

Looking around at the three happy couples, Ella couldn’t agree more. Fate might have dealt them all a rough hand this last couple of months, but it had also brought them all plenty of good.

Now all she had to do was wait for Miguel to come home, and the next chapter of her life could begin.

March 21 st

6:13 P.M.

Finally.

Feeling like he’d been deprived of oxygen and was about to take his first breath in a month, Miguel walked down the front path toward Ella’s front door.

That was exactly what the last four weeks had felt like.

Like he couldn’t breathe.

Like a piece of himself had been amputated.

All he’d wanted was to see Ella, be able to pull her into his arms, hold her, kiss her, and make love to her. If his team hadn't been called out on a mission and been out of the country for the last ten days, he very well might have caved and gone to her early.

In a way, this last month had proven to him that if the worst happened and he wound up losing Ella, or something else equally as terrible happened in his life, he’d be able to resist the temptation to turn to drugs as the answer. In another way, it had proven to him he couldn’t live without this woman.

Didn't want to.

Ella was his, and he was hers.

Simple as that.

Having her around was being at peace, it was feeling complete, it was knowing what it felt like to find your place in the world.

Finally, he could come home to his girl, knowing that he truly had his addictions under control, that he was no threat to her, that he would never wind up inflicting on her—or any children they might have—the same kind of life his own parents had given him and his brother.

He was home for good.

Because nothing could make him leave Ella again.

Nothing.

While she knew this was the day he was supposed to come home to her, Ella also knew that his team had been called out and he hadn't texted to let her know he was back. He wanted to surprise her, because at the back of his mind was a tiny little niggling voice of doubt that kept wondering if things had changed for Ella over the past month.

Just because he had learned he didn't want to live without her didn't mean she felt the same way.

Maybe a little distance had given her a different perspective.

Especially now that she was safe and working things out with her team.

The knot of fear in his gut worsened as he knocked on the door and waited.

It might have been a month since he last saw her, the longest month of his life, but these last few moments felt like an eternity.

When she threw open the door, Ella’s mouth dropped open, and she stared at him like she’d just seen a ghost.

Good or bad?

Reading her expression was impossible, or maybe it was just his own fears and insecurities clouding his judgment.

Because when she suddenly launched herself at him, he was caught completely by surprise.

His arms automatically moved to catch her, and Ella attached herself to him, arms wrapped tightly around his neck, legs wrapped around his hips, clinging to him with her face pressed into the crook of his neck.

Just like that, his heart began to beat normally again.

“Are you really here?” Ella asked, her voice muffled as it pressed tighter against his skin.

“I'm really here, honey.” One of his hands palmed the back of her head, the other curled tightly around her waist, clutching her against him. Damn, he never wanted to let her go again. Miguel could quite happily stand there, just like this, holding his girl in his arms, for the rest of his life.

“I missed you so much,” Ella murmured as her tears began to wet his skin.

“Oh, honey, not more than I missed you,” he assured her. Knowing he’d inflicted pain on this beautiful, brave woman hurt, but not more than hurting her worse down the line would. He’d had to know he could handle himself before he could allow himself to fully enter Ella’s orbit.

Lifting her face, her eyes searched his. “Did you get the answers you needed?”

Holding her gaze so she knew he was being honest, so she knew she was one hundred percent safe with him, that his problems would never endanger her life or her happiness, Miguel nodded. “I got what I needed. I'm just sorry I had to hurt you in the process.” Ella had said she understood, but that was before he’d subjected her to a month’s separation. A month when she was still healing, physically and psychologically, and had needed him. He could only pray that understanding was still there.

“I don’t care about that now you're here. You did what you had to do, and I won't ever be angry with you for doing what you think is right for yourself and for me. Besides, now you're here it’s like I can breathe again,” Ella said, a smile lighting up her face as she spoke the same exact thing he’d felt when he finally had her back in his arms.

“You are my breath, honey,” he murmured, and nothing had ever been more true. Could he survive without Ella if he had to? Yes. But he wouldn't be living. Not really. Just existing.

“Make love to me, Miguel,” Ella whispered as she leaned in, her lips hovering just millimeters above his, so warm, soft, and perfect.

“We don’t have to, El. I didn't come for sex. I just came for … you.” While his body ached to be buried inside Ella’s, joined to her physically as he felt joined to her spiritually, he would be happy just to hold her in his arms, or sit beside her talking, or anything she wanted to do. So long as they were together he was happy.

“I know we don’t have to. I want to. Need to. I missed you.”

“I need you, too, honey.”

Carrying Ella into the house, Miguel kicked the door closed behind him as Ella’s lips crashed down onto his. This time, they weren't having sex in the hall, he was having her in the bed, taking his time, worshipping her body, and giving her everything she deserved and more.

Upstairs in the bedroom, he set her on her feet only long enough to remove her clothes and his own and then he was scooping her up again and laying her down on the lacy bedspread.

“So beautiful,” he whispered as his gaze roamed her body wanting to touch and taste every inch of it. “Who does this belong to, honey?” he asked as he ran a finger across her center.

“You,” Ella whimpered, her hips coming off the bed.

“And this?” he asked as he grasped his length and stroked it from base to tip. “Who does this belong to?”

“Me,” she whispered, voice wavering as he moved down her body, spreading her legs so he could settle between them.

“That’s right, honey. You belong to me, and I belong to you,” he said, his mouth right above where she was already soaked for him.

Miguel wasn't sure who moaned louder at the first stroke of his tongue. She tasted like heaven, not that that was a real taste, but he swore that’s what he thought of as he teased her entrance, then moved to suckle on her bud.

Ella’s hands clutched at his head, tangling in his short hair as he alternated between swirling the tip of his tongue on her bundle of nerves and suckling on it, and thrusting as deep inside her as he could manage.

Incoherent sounds tumbled from Ella’s lips, spurring him on. She was going to come on just his tongue, then his fingers, and only then was he going to enter her and find his own release. He needed her to know how much he adored her, how lost on her he was.

Her ecstasy-filled cries filled the room as he gave her her first orgasm of the night.

Without letting her come down from her high, Miguel moved up her body, his lips finding hers as his fingers took the place his tongue had just vacated. Again, he alternated between stroking deep inside her, making sure to curl his fingers at just the right angle to catch that spot he knew he could use to make her fall apart, and working her sensitive bud.

His responsive girl was quickly rushing toward a second orgasm. He could tell in the desperate way her tongue dueled with his, in the way her body writhed beneath him, the way her fingers clawed at his back, drawing him closer even though his body covered hers.

When she came, clamping around his fingers as his thumb worked her bundle of nerves, he swallowed her scream, making it part of him. Her pleasure was his because there was no sweeter feeling in the world than knowing you made your girl come so hard she forgot her own name, anything less was unacceptable.

“My Ella,” he murmured as he lined himself up and thrust into her in one smooth move.

Ella cried out, her already fluttering internal muscles clamped around him, and he groaned, almost losing his control and coming too soon. Not until his girl was riding that high with him.

“Move, honey, move with me. Take what you need. Whatever it is I’ll give it to you, always.”

“You,” Ella said, lifting her head to press her lips to his. “All I need is you.”

“You have me, honey. All of me.”

Together they set a steady pace, climbing higher and higher as one, and when Miguel knew he couldn’t hold off a second longer, he reached between them, took Ella’s bud between his fingers, and tweaked it, setting off a chain reaction as her orgasm triggered his own.

It exploded around him with a force he’d been unprepared for, picking him up and sweeping him away into a galaxy he hadn't even known existed.

This was what it felt like to be falling in love. To be so consumed with another person that you quickly forgot where you ended, and they began.

As terrifying as it was, it was also the most exhilarating feeling in the world.

Whatever it took he was going to keep his addictions in check because there was no way he was ever going to risk causing this amazing woman even an ounce of pain.