Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
CERENITY
I t's almost nine-thirty at night by the time I get home with Auggie, but I'm now the proud owner of a cute blue CR-V. It's far from the sports car I used to drive, however, Auggie is right that it's much safer. I also found that I don't have any problems driving, either, so that's a plus.
I have enough trauma, I'm grateful this isn't one.
Unfortunately, I have to pick up my car tomorrow, because they're in the process of washing it, but I'm happy the paperwork process of it all is done.
I'm hoping to hear back soon from the car insurance company about whether or not they think the car can be salvaged, or if they're going to scrap it and pay me for it.
Auggie saw the car in the aftermath of the wreck, and doesn't see how they'll possibly think it can be fixed at an auto body shop.
Sighing as we walk up the stairs to the apartment, I find I'm struggling to relax from the long day. I'm tired yet wired, if that makes sense.
"You look like you have electrical wiring under your skin," Auggie breathes in my ear as we reach our floor. "I may need to wear you out so you can sleep. Trust me, that is not a hardship."
Giggling, I shiver at his words. I'm not really someone who giggles, and I blame Auggie for it. He's turned me hopelessly lovesick.
It's the years we've known each other and been best friends. It makes it easier to admit what I've been fighting.
"I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy every moment," I say with a smirk as I open our apartment door. I can hear the shower running in the hallway bathroom, and Tommy is sitting on the couch in the living room as if waiting for us.
"Hey," I murmur, surprised to see him.
"Hi," he says with a small smile, still sitting. I appreciate that because he's such a large alpha, I feel overwhelmed by him a lot. "You're just getting home. I was hoping we'd be able to talk?"
His blue hair is such a beacon under the living room light, I find myself taking an imperceptible step forward, wanting to see if it's as soft as I've imagined it to be.
Augustine presses a kiss to my temple as he closes and locks the door behind me, mumbling, "I'll be waiting for you in bed. Take your time, Sweetheart."
There's no jealousy, just acceptance. Fuck, he's amazing.
"Sure," I tell Tommy with a nod. "What's up?"
"I want you to take me somewhere you love in the city first," he says, standing. "Anywhere you want. You can drive my truck."
"You'd let me drive it?" I scoff. Something tells me that his truck is one of his prized possessions.
"It's just steel and wheels," he says with a shrug. "I trust you to take care of it."
My lips part open in amazement, because I'm realizing how little I know about him. He's a strong, large alpha who runs a mafia organization. That's the extent of what I know, outside of the fact that he has a sister as well.
Maybe I need to change that.
"Okay," I say, eyes wide as he drops the truck key into my hand.
"So where are we going?" he asks, his gorgeous full lips twitching into a smile.
"Crazy, wanna come along?" I ask as I start walking back outside.
"Bluebell, you'd be terrified of where I'd let you lead me," he growls as he follows me.
His words make me shiver, because I think that's the most romantic thing he's ever fucking said to me. Damn.
Tommy's palm sits along my back as we walk, and it's hard to pay attention when his leather and sage scent surrounds me completely. If I was still using my inhaler, I'd be depriving myself of this deliciousness.
Maybe the cage was really the inhaler, given my experience with Xavier, someone who I don't think has ever been annoyed with me. Not that I could tell anyway.
I'm so focused on his presence, my foot slips on the last step, making me squeal. Tommy catches me, pulling me up to his chest, holding me tightly.
"You okay?" he rumbles in my ear, sounding concerned and amused at the same time. Gah, it's obvious I missed it because I wasn't paying attention.
"Yeah," I breathe. "I'm good."
"Alright then," he says, loosening his grip, so I slide down his body. My ass can feel his erection, and I swallow thickly.
Please, please, don't perfume.
Begging my body to behave and not react like a hussy in need of a knot, I take a shuddering breath before I step carefully down. Tommy keeps his hand along my back as we walk to his truck, and he opens the door for me.
I expect a comment about tiny omegas and big ass trucks, but he merely waits for me to climb in. I suppose he's gathered that I'm used to this due to Auggie's vehicle also being high up.
Quietly closing the door once I'm situated, he walks around to get into the truck.
"Show me your city," Tommy says with a smirk as he pulls on his seatbelt.
Nodding, I decide to take him to one of my favorite diners that also happens to be located on a rooftop that overlooks the twinkly lights of the city.
I love that they're open until two in the morning on Wednesday nights, and they happen to have the best chocolate brownie milkshakes that I've ever tasted.
Rooftop Diner is exactly what I need for whatever it is Tommy wants to talk to me about.
His eyes widen as he sees the glass enclosed restaurant, glancing at me as I lead him across the street and grin at the hostess.
"Hey, Cerenity," she says with a smile. "Your usual table?"
"Yes, please," I respond. I may have a small addiction to this place, though Auggie usually comes with me.
Tommy follows me up to the second floor to a table that overlooks the city. It's where I always sit as long as it's open.
The restaurant is in between busy hours since it's almost ten at night. It'll get its last rush of the evening in the next half an hour and then stay busy until closing.
Seven years ago, I actually worked here as a server, so I'm a very familiar face here. I was eighteen at the time, and this is the last place we moved to before I put my foot down about being carted off again, according to whatever delusion Mama had.
I can admit that there was a danger while I was younger, but I doubt my fathers are still looking for us now.
I saved every penny to keep my mother in a safe place while she struggled with her mental health, while I lived in a hostel, until I had enough money saved to move into an apartment with Augustine when we met. It was easier then to split expenses while opening the club.
"This is gorgeous," Tommy breathes as he looks out the window and then back at me. Something about the words make me blush, because it almost seems as if he's talking as much about me as the view.
"Their fries and shakes are amazing," I explain. I was just thinking about how I'm craving one when I was walking up to the apartment.
"Which is your favorite?" he asks, looking down at the menu. "French fries dipped in a chocolate malt shake sounds really good, I'm not gonna lie. I haven't had that combination in years."
"Their malt shakes are so good," I gush. Are we bonding over chocolate right now? "My favorite are their brownie milkshakes. They're insane."
Tommy gives me a devastatingly gorgeous smile, while I tell my pussy to calm the fuck down. We're not supposed to want any of that. Nope, not at all.
"Can I take your order?" the waitress asks. She's new, and I don't know her. It's been at least three weeks since I've had the chance to come in, which explains my intense need for this.
Nodding, we give her our orders, and she walks off as a large party comes in on the other side of the restaurant.
"Is there anything else special about this place for you?" Tommy asks.
"It's the first job I ever had," I tell him. "I was new in town, broke, and seriously needed money. The tips are awesome here, and there was a small hostel down the street. It worked great until I was able to afford my own place."
"Were you with anyone else or alone?" Tommy asks.
"I had my mom," I admit, but don't elaborate. It's a long, sad story I don't know if I'm ready to share just yet.
Nodding, he leans forward as he stares at me. It looks like he's trying to memorize my face before he breathes in deeply.
"I saw you at your club during the fundraiser Jasper's sister was doing a while back," he says. The fundraiser wasn't very long ago, but I wait to see where he's going with this.
"I thought you were one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen. I wanted to introduce myself, however, I ended up getting pulled into watching the fights to make sure everything went well."
Knowing the feeling of being sucked into work, I smile.
"This was before biology, scent matches, or anything else. You're gorgeous, and carry yourself with so much confidence," he says.
"My point is, if scent matches didn't exist, I'd still want to ask you out, do things at a more natural pace."
"But we are so…" I trail off.
"So I come off as a Neanderthal grunting ‘mine,'" he says with a chuckle. His words surprise a laugh from me, and his smile widens.
I don't usually find men with beards attractive, but it works for him. "Things work differently for us, and a lot faster. I want to get to know you, court you, and grovel a bit. We didn't have the best beginning. While I could blame biology and possessiveness, I really was just an asshole."
"Are you always this up front and honest?" I ask.
"When I decide to speak at all? Yeah, I am," he says. "Most of the time, people get grunts from me until they deserve an answer. I run a mafia organization and I have a temper, so less words allows me to hide how I actually feel. You'd also be surprised how uncomfortable silence makes people."
"You've cracked the code on people," I tease him.
"Helps me stay alive," he grunts. "A trade secret is that I lose my temper in public just enough for people to think I'm a hot head so they'll underestimate me."
"I don't think underestimating you would be considered to be a good life choice," I admit. "You're kind of scary."
His emerald-green eyes heat up as he raises his brow. "Do I scare you, Bluebell? I'm all for the chase. It could be fun, don't you think?"
As someone who actually has been through traumatic events, that shouldn't be as hot as it sounds. Eyes wide, my breath quickens as I press my legs together. This makes me just a little fucked up, right?
Tommy doesn't need a response, because my body is giving away all he needs to know.
"I wanted to spend some time with you because there's so little that I know about you. Everything has been very rushed over the last few days for obvious reasons, and the scent match makes things so much more intense," he says.
"It really does," I murmur. "I used to think using my alpha pheromone blocker spray would give me options, because the idea of being trapped with alphas due to obsession is terrifying to me."
Tommy winces as he hears this, taking a breath. "And now?" he asks.
"I think I may have been living life scent blind. Pheromones warn an omega of danger, or when something isn't right," I explain. "Sometimes, it can almost be a lie detector of sorts, since an alpha's scent will change with their emotions."
"I've noticed that," he says with a nod. "It's not just omegas. I can tell when someone's scent smells burnt or is curdled that there's something wrong. It's not all of the time, and not all alphas will notice it."
Maybe that's why Augustine didn't notice anything was wrong when I spoke to Xavier?
"I didn't know that," I say softly. "I was more worried about being trapped into something I didn't want when I started taking them, and then they became a security blanket."
The waitress brings our food before bustling off, saying she'll be back with water glasses. I was so focused on my milkshake and fries, I didn't really notice. Eagerly, I pick up a French fry and dip it into my milkshake before taking a bite.
My eyes close in happiness as the flavors explode over my tastebuds, making me moan.
"Goddamn, baby girl. You make eating sound like a religious experience," he rumbles.
"It's so good," I murmur after swallowing, opening my eyes to see Tommy staring at me.
Clearing his throat, he picks up a fry and mimics me, dunking it into his chocolate malt milkshake before taking a bite.
"Fuck, that is delicious," he mutters as I grin. "I can see why this is one of your favorite places in the city."
"They gave me a chance when no one else would, and I've never forgotten that," I tell him.
"So what was going on with your mom while you were working your ass off?" he asks quietly.
Sighing, I sip my emotional support drink, trying to decide how much to say. "My mom wasn't well," I begin. "My fathers aren't good men, and she believed they were always trying to find her. I don't know how much was paranoia and how much was true, but they did drag her home the first time she attempted to escape while she was pregnant with me."
There's a lot of emotions that cross his face as he processes my words.
"Choices," he grunts as I nod. "Where's your mom now?"
"She's living in a special place for omegas who can't live alone," I sigh. "She's taking medication for schizophrenia, but she hasn't had a lot of good days lately. I don't know if she's always had it, or if what they did to her triggered something."
Tommy emits a low growl at my words, frowning. "I get the feeling there's a lot you're not saying," he mutters. Sucking hard on his straw, he takes a second to think. "I don't want to assume anything. Can you explain your need for control? Alphas often feel the urge to fix things, helping omegas to submit, but because they want to. The power play shouldn't outweigh one another, unless the alpha in question is a shithead."
"Well, I can definitely say her pack resembles that remark," I mutter. I know he's trying, so I take a fortifying bite of a French fry and nod. "Alpha barks, scent matches, all of that… In my head, it takes away my ability to choose for what? Biology rolling the dice for me? What happens to the omega who is given terrible alphas?"
"Is that what happened to your mom?" Tommy asks, forehead wrinkling. I'm not giving him the full picture, and I know it has to be confusing.
"Mama was kidnapped on her way home one night," I explain, shaking my head. "She was a college student, and they thought they'd take her. There was no pull or draw, or scent match. They were rapists who decided to claim her."
"Fuckers," Tommy snarls. "True alphas have a difficult time being mean to their omegas once things begin to sink in. There's this insane instinct to mate, claim, protect, but not against her will. Jas and I lost our minds a bit in Chicago."
"Good to know," I snort as I eat my last French fry.
"Our instincts were riding us after we found you, and we were idiots," he mutters. I have a feeling he doesn't apologize easily, but I still don't count this as an apology. "I've been forcing myself not to track you down all day. I kept myself busy, but once I was done with work, it was difficult."
"Okay…" I say, confused by why he's telling me this.
"You owe me nothing, but I need a little help here. I don't want to make you feel chained or anything. Could you possibly check in throughout the day with me?" he asks, blowing out a breath. "I need to know you're safe."
Auggie knows where I am at all times for the most part, but I never really thought anything about it. It makes sense that his protective instincts as my best friend and scent match would drive him to this.
"I… There are times where I can get forgetful or I'll hyperfocus on something and nothing else exists," I explain. "I have to make sure things are perfect, so sometimes it'll take me longer to complete things. If Augustine gives me a timeline like he did tonight, it helps, but it still took me an hour longer than we thought it would. I could try, though."
The last part comes out as a squeak, and Tommy covers my hand with his, dwarfing it as his thumb rubs over my pulse.
"Trying would work as a start," he rumbles, giving me an encouraging smile. Fuck, my anxiety is snapping at me, and his request wasn't even that serious. I may suck at this relationship thing.
"Why is your pulse racing, Bluebell?"
"Because." I pout. "I have all of these quirks that make me really bad at being around people. The people I work with at the club are so used to it they don't blink an eyelash anymore. However, now I have to worry about what it looks like from the outside in."
Snorting, Tommy shakes his head. "Absolutely not, baby girl. Don't change or worry about what I'll think. I want to get to know who you really are. I don't want you to shrink yourself into some sort of idea of what you think I want. I just want to be part of it all," he says gently.
"If I know you're at the club all night, then I'll know you're safe and good to go, you know? I want to hear how your day is going, if you remembered to eat, or if you need a milkshake fix. That's what I want."
His words are so simple, yet they're everything.
"Wow," I whisper, feeling tears prick my eyes. I was not expecting that at all.
"I fucked up, but I will do my best to do better moving forward, okay? I've never been in a relationship, and Jasper is my longest running friend," he says with a shrug.
"I may fumble a bit, however, I very much want to be your forever, even though we're just beginning, Bluebell."
Sniffing, I take a shuddering breath as I nod. "Uh-huh," is all I can say as the tears overflow. "Fuck."
"I wasn't expecting quite that reaction," he murmurs, getting up and moving into the booth next to me to wrap me in his arms. Sinking into him, I give a watery laugh as I hug his waist. He's solid muscle, smells amazing, and he's mine.
Even if we still have a long way to go. Sometimes, you can belong to someone, even if you're not sure where you're headed. The attraction between an alpha and omega still isn't something I fully understand, but I can admit that it's not as one-sided as I thought it would be.
Not with someone who is willing to give more than he takes, and doesn't want to change you. I think that's the greatest gift Tommy could ever give me. My quirks are deeply ingrained in me, groups of routines and thoughts created in an effort to give me something normal in a life that was chaotic while I was growing up.
It doesn't mean I won't continue to find ways to fuck with him, though. What would be the fun in that?
I drive the point home as I slide my credit card to the waitress as we continue to chat to see what Tommy would say. His eyes squint so hard I'm worried they'll stay that way, but he swallows down every word he clearly wants to say.
Taking a deep breath, he grunts instead, "I'm thinking of moving to Minneapolis, so I'll need more dates to learn all of your favorite places, so they can be mine too. Maybe I can find a hole in the wall to surprise you with too."
"You'd move here?" I ask, surprised. "I thought your entire life was in Chicago? What about Marie?"
"I love my sister, but we butt heads more than not. We didn't grow up together," he explains. "I'm not far in case she needs something, and there's nothing really keeping her there except her job."
"But… What about everything else?" I ask, signing the receipt when the waitress returns. "You have roots in Chicago."
"I can't stand to be away from you for a few hours, baby girl. What makes you think I can live in an entirely different city?" he asks with a smirk, standing to help me out of the booth as I pocket my credit card.
"I… don't know," I respond weakly. "Holy shit."
"I'll let you sit with that," he says generously as we leave the restaurant.
Overwhelmed, I nod as we walk. Anyone else would be telling me where to live and bossing me around, but Tommy is definitely not doing that. It's as if he didn't even think about it twice, and that's a heady feeling.
Forcing myself to focus as I drive home, I bite my lip.
"So you'd live here," I reiterate once we're close to the apartment complex. I've been lost in my thoughts despite my efforts, semi spiraling with everything this could mean. "Where would you live?"
"I was thinking of finding an apartment near you," he says with a secret smile as I nod. "Your club is here, you have people who depend on you, and I have some ideas on what I'll do for work in Minneapolis."
"Huh," I murmur. "I didn't expect this at all."
The admission gets me a shrug. The gesture says a lot without a word being spoken. He really isn't trying to control me, my life, or where I live. Instead, he's shifting everything around to be near me.
"Jasper too?" I ask.
"We're kind of a package deal since we work together," he says. "He and I have been figuring out the logistics, but we're excited for a new opportunity. We should be thanking you."
"I don't know about that," I murmur. "I'm dying to see your hair in the light."
Tommy doesn't even look confused by the change in conversation. Sometimes, I need to focus on something else when I'm faced with a big change. Moving is a huge step for these alphas, and I'm overwhelmed with emotions about everything this means. They're both very serious about me, and none of this is fake or a game to them.
"I almost like it," he teases me, pulling his hair tie out of his hair once I park and turning on the light in the truck.
The blue strands look vibrant and beautiful against his skin, and I reach out to gently touch the silken strands. While his arms are covered with tattoos, his neck is left smooth and virginal.
"We match," I murmur, deeply aware as he leans forward.
"You've marked me," he growls. "This may fade, but one day you'll accept my marks, no you'll beg for them, Bluebell."
"Maybe," I whisper. I'm still very broken and even more untried when it comes to relationships. I'm not sure if he'll stick around for all of my bullshit. It may be too much, but the only way I'll know is with time.
"Bet on it. I'm not going anywhere," he whispers before his lips touch mine. They're warm, and he tastes like chocolate. Slowly deepening the kiss, he gives me the chance to back away, but I can't. I want more, even if it's for right now.
My scars are all on the inside and well hidden, so I'll enjoy this for now, before it all implodes.