Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

JASPER

S ighing, I prepare for the long drive ahead as we follow Cerenity back to Minneapolis.

"Getting comfortable?" Tommy asks, lips twitching even as he grinds his teeth together in annoyance. I think everything about Augustine's driving is going to drive him up a wall as he changes lanes.

"May as well. My sister and Pack Mohan definitely set us up," I remark, pulling out my phone to see if I have any missed texts.

Grunting, I see there's one waiting for me.

Wren: Get your head out of your ass, Jas. Augustine just told me he found Cerenity, and you participated in kidnapping her.

Biting my lip, I shrug, deciding I may as well come clean. In for a penny, in for a pound.

Technically, I didn't kidnap her the first time, little sister. The second time was definitely my fault.

I can practically hear her fuming as I watch her type. If I was there, she'd be yelling at me in person.

Wren: I hope she murders you in your sleep, asshole.

"Why are sisters so damn mean?" I complain. "Wren just said she hopes Tiny kills us in our sleep."

Tommy snorts as he listens to me, knowing how loyal and fierce my little sister is. Cerenity is her friend, so I expected her to be angry with me. It's not like I planned to kidnap an omega this week though.

"We're not soft alphas," he admits, pulling his blond-brown hair into a hair tie at the top of his head as we sit in traffic at an on-ramp for the interstate.

"We're more likely to feed the intestines of your enemies to the pigs than remember to bring you flowers on your birthday. There are days where I wish I lived with my sisters to help me figure this out. My dad was more worried about the state of our businesses than family. It's why I make sure my aunt is taken care of."

Remembering how he dropped money on the bar for her after our meeting, I nod. "Wren would be more likely to throw me under the bus than ask me for my side," I mutter. "She seems to think that I'm a dick."

"You looked for her for years," Tommy protests. "Jasper, you were at every auction possible, and tracked down every lead. There's no way you could know the same buyer had her all those years."

"Of course not, but she has the same view of me as she did as a kid. It's perception…" I trail off as I think about what she kept saying about choices and how alphas and scent matches were the beginning of the end of hers.

"Fuck."

"Spit it out, Jasper," Tommy growls. "We're in this shit together, so just say it."

"We've only been looking at this from our point of view. We want things from her, but she's ultimately a stranger. Cerenity is our scent match, and everyone talks about the intensity of it, almost as if it's magical. But, the reality is that this is real life and the last thing she wants is a scent match," I begin.

"She's living her life with her senses dulled so she can control her life."

"That's really sad," he mutters. "I rely on my senses to tell if someone is lying, because their scent sours when they do. I imagine she can still scent omegas, but having to live like that has to be exhausting. It can't have good long term effects, either. Imagine how long she's been using this spray."

"Right, but stay with me, big guy," I tease him, trying to get him to see the big picture. "There's a level of commitment there that tells me she's not going to roll over because we want her. She gave Augustine a titty twister that I swear I felt! Cerenity seems to think she'll lose herself if she lets the bond snap into place."

"She could still reject us even then," Tommy rasps, tense. Shuddering, I curse under my breath.

"Fuck, would she really?" I ask, goosebumps raising over my skin. I can't imagine what it would be like to know that the omega destiny's chosen for me would throw me away. If anyone had the ovaries to do it, though, it would be Cerenity.

"We can't let her do that. Goddamn it, when I think about this, it makes me want to hide her from the world, which is exactly what she doesn't want."

"Why is this so difficult," Tommy sighs, the discontented alpha's scent of leather and sage filling the cab as he speaks. "I want to worship between her thighs and feed her. Isn't that what women want?"

Snickering, I get a vision of Tommy holding Cerenity's thighs in place as he forces orgasms on her. Fuck, and now my cock is rock hard.

"I'm not built for this," I say, shaking my head. "I'm a growly ass who would be perfectly happy hiding her away from the world, but that's not going to happen. Tiny has claws and this isn't the thirteenth century. She has a life outside of us."

"So what do we do?" Tommy asks, his foot heavy on the gas as he drives. "How do we figure out the girl who would rather kick and scratch for her freedom than allow us to get to know her?"

Maybe not handcuff her to your bed , I think to myself. We're the worst alphas in the world right now.

"Help her feel safe," I grunt. "I don't mean let her roll over us, because neither of us are capable of that. Instead, we should find out why she's terrified of alphas, Tommy."

"Terrified…" he says softly, trailing off in thought. It takes him a few minutes to process this as he drives before he comes back to me. "This isn't just about Arthur then. Someone else hurt her."

"That's what I think," I confirm. "I want her to open up to us, but she won't if she thinks we're manipulating her."

"You're asking a lot of a man who makes a living manipulating others," Tommy grunts. "Fuck, this is going to make me grow in ways I didn't think possible. I'm too old for this shit."

"You can do it," I chuckle. "Did you see how she swung on us at the house? Cerenity is every one of our wet dreams come true. It's worth the effort we need to make."

My phone flashes with an incoming message, making me pick it up to look at.

Wren: I gave her permission to punch you for me because you're an asshat. Are you seriously following her home like a stalker?

You bet your ass I am, little sis. Don't leave me, I'll hide in the trunk and come anyway. Seriously, though, I don't think she likes me.

The bubbles rise furiously, and I know I'm about to get an earful.

"I don't want to fuck this up. I want to make a grand apology. Think we should buy a house in Minneapolis?" Tommy asks, making my jaw drop.

I'm not sure we're going to make it. Tommy and I are just as bad as the other due to our impatience to get what we want, but even I know buying a house is jumping the gun a bit, especially with an omega that's so independent.

We have a lot of things to figure out in the long and short term of our future for our businesses, because our life is in Chicago, however it can at least wait a bit while we find a way to keep Tiny from plotting our deaths.

Something tells me our omega is petty, and will play the long game. A part of me can't wait to see what she has up her sleeve. I just need to make sure we don't push her so hard she breaks.

Wren: You're hard to get to know, Jas. You've just started growing on me. Give her time to get to know you're not an asshole. No one wants to be chained and kept so close it suffocates them. Ask me how I know.

Harsh. Fuck, sis. Her situation was incredibly different, but she's bringing out the big guns.

I'm quiet the rest of the drive, thinking over a million things. Cerenity, my sister, the way omegas are treated, and how fucked up the system is. Finding your scent match is supposed to be a beautiful thing, but so far it's sucked.

I even begin to pull up details on omegas, because I haven't spent a lot of time around them. My sister was sold the day she presented her designation, and my brothers are all alphas. I feel as if education on how to understand Tiny is the only way I'll be able to stop pissing her off.

It's worth a shot.

Augustine leads us to a pretty gated apartment complex, which simply makes me happy she's at least safe here. The street lights are bright in the parking lot now that the sun has been down for a few hours, the air warm and sticky as the last of the summer clings in August.

Getting out of the truck once Tommy parks in a visitor spot, we follow Augustine, Gabriel, and Cerenity up to the third floor where her apartment is. I'm glad she's up here, it means she's a touch safer. I hate first floor apartments with a passion.

Augustine unlocks the door with a yawn, opening it to let us in.

"Cere, are you hungry?" he asks as we walk inside.

Cerenity turns to face him, her eyes growing huge as she takes in the sight of us in her space.

"No…" she says softly even as her stomach grumbles. "I just need to get something from my room."

"That's random," Tommy mutters as Cerenity makes a run for her room.

The only thing I can think of that would make her move that fast is a medication or her alpha blocker nasal spray, so I begin stalking her steps.

"Fuck, why are you following her?" Augustine groans. "She probably needs some damn space in her nest. Cere?"

Shoving open the door that was closed behind her, I find her trembling fingers grabbing the inhaler.

"Come on, you don't need to use that," I say calmly even as my heart pounds. I want her to give us a real chance. "Tiny, you're better than this. Give it to me. I don't know what kind of demons you have, but you're so much stronger than this."

Cerenity sobs as she holds onto the little tube that stands between her and her alphas as if it's a lifeline. She's mistaken, though, because it's no better than the shackle around her wrists earlier.

"I can't," she whispers, tears running down her cheeks. "I need more time. I don't know you, and I feel too much."

Nodding I walk closer to her, trying to get her to keep speaking to me.

"I think you can do anything you put your mind to," I murmur. "You put Tommy and I in our places today, and made sure Marie got out of the house before you left. Our instincts were riding us hard, but Tommy wouldn't have hurt his sister for your phone number. Coerced her? That's another story."

"You're so unapologetic about it," she scoffs, swallowing hard as she opens the inhaler.

Fuck, no. Cerenity is absolutely not taking another dose of that shit.

"Cerenity!" I roar as she glares at me through reddened eyes and raises the damn thing to her mouth.

"What the hell is going on?" Augustine asks, walking into the room as I rip the inhaler away from her.

"I said no," I growl, throwing the offending thing to the ground and stomping it to bits.

"You bastard!" she screams, launching herself at me with her fingers curled.

Augustine plucks her from the air with a tired sigh, holding her to him as he whispers in her ear. He's like the fucking omega whisperer.

"Take a breather, Cere," he murmurs. "It's done now. I'll help you get even, okay?"

Yeah, that doesn't seem ominous at all.

"Okay," she grunts. "I just need a minute without anyone in my room, please."

"You got it. I'm bringing you some crackers, hummus, and Brie cheese to snack on," Augustine says. "I heard your stomach. Please don't argue."

"I guess I can eat," she says petulantly, flicking her fingers at me to get out.

God, she's such a pain in the ass. Baring my teeth at her and snapping, I childishly enjoy her squeak as we walk out of the room.

"You play dirty," he murmurs as he walks with me. "Cere is going to make you pay for that. Nothing is off limits with her. I hope you enjoy sleeping with one eye open."

"Speaking of sleeping," Gabriel says as he stares at the couch in the middle of the living room. "Can I sleep in your bed? There's no way the three of us will be able to fit on that."

"Yeah, baby," he says with a smirk. "As for you and Tommy, here's some blankets and pillows. We never have visitors, so I have no idea how comfortable the pull out couch is."

Augustine walks as he talks, handing over the items that he's speaking about.

It's almost ten at night, but I'm exhausted too. Throwing blankets on the carpet, because everything is clean and pristine, I decide it has to be more comfortable than the couch.

"There's extra toothbrushes in the bathroom you're welcome to. It'll be a tight fit with so many bodies, but I'm too tired to care right now," Augustine says, another yawn cracking his jaw. "Night."

"Night," Tommy and I rumble as Augustine disappears into his bedroom with Gabriel.

"I guess I'll see you in the morning," I say to Tommy with a shrug as I walk to the bathroom in the hallway.

Cerenity's door is closed, and I press my ear to it to see if I can hear anything. Only hearing silence, I sigh heavily and move away.

I'm not proud of what I did, but it had to happen. Tiny needs to stop fucking running.

CERENITY

My hands shake as the door closes behind Auggie, and I stare down at the mess on the floor. I can't fucking believe Jasper stomped the hell out of it. Actually, as I sink to the carpet to pick it up, I can totally believe it.

Jasper is an alpha dick. He doesn't listen to anything, and does whatever he thinks is necessary. Throwing out the collected pieces of the destroyed inhaler, I pull out a small vacuum cleaner that's mounted to the wall and almost silent.

Despite how much everything hurts and I just want to lie down, I need to attend to the mess. It's itching at me, demanding I pay attention to it. Quickly, I clean up any debris, swiping away any tears that are still falling from my eyes.

I had too much time to think in the truck on the way home, overwhelmed by the sudden change of events. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy not to be handcuffed to a bed anymore, but there's been a lot of change in a short amount of time.

Three scent matches. Fuck. I never thought I'd have any with the help of my alpha pheromone blocking spray, but it seems that biology and instincts are a bitch. I've been drawn to Auggie since the moment I saw him.

Standing, I put the vacuum away, stepping out of my shoes to put them away. Walking through the room, I move things to other places that make sense only to me, twitch my bedspread so it's perfectly straight, and realize I'm also tapping two of my fingers together on my left hand as I walk.

Stimming is never a good thing.

Too much change, too much everything. Fuck. Pulling off my clothes, I toss them into a hamper and open my closet. I put on a large hoodie that Auggie jokes may as well be mine at this point. I'm so mad at him for lying, but it won't stop me from snuggling deeply into the sweater.

The evidence of our connection is right in front of me. It's more than being best friends, we're meant to be together by destiny. Sighing, I drop to my knees to arrange my blankets the way I like them.

The soft, light-blue blanket is first, though there's a wide sleeping bag underneath it for cushion. Then, I have a deep teal fluffy chunky knit blanket that goes over the light blue one, and then finally a royal purple weighted blanket.

Taking a shuddering breath, I crawl into the closet, closing the door behind me to close off the light. The dark doesn't bother me here because I know every inch of this huge closet.

When Auggie and I were initially looking for an apartment, he made sure I would get the largest closet for my nest. I told him it wasn't important, to which he glared at me and threatened to spank my ass.

I've never been so turned on in my entire life, and I have the perfect closet. Half of the space is for my clothes, shoes, and purses, but the area I'm in now is my nest.

Reaching up to where a little switch dangles by my left hand, I turn on the little fairy lights that I hung inside. They're purple, the perfect color to soothe me as I drop the switch and climb into the blankets. The weight of them immediately makes my body feel boneless as I place my head on one of my pillows. The rest of them surround my body, creating a fort around me.

My life is surrounded by uncertainty. The second my alpha pheromone spray's effectiveness ends, I'll be dropped into the deep end of difficult decisions. Complicated questions run through my mind, and I can barely focus on one before the next pops into my mind.

This is what a free fall feels like for an omega. Not everyone has severe anxiety, obsessive compulsion, or the need to stim when things feel out of control. That's the beauty and quiet horror of everyone being so different. The horror is that you don't know if you're normal when it's happening or if you're slowly losing your mind.

Just like my mother did.

Breathing deeply, I run my fingers over each blanket in order of what's on top. The weighted blanket is smooth, while the knit one is slightly rough from the yarn, and so on. The ritual grounds me as I feel the different textures, which helps me separate out each question in my mind as I touch each blanket over and over.

What will I do when I'm forced to face that all of these alphas are my scent matches? I silently promised myself that it doesn't exist until it activates on my end. Well, now the countdown is on, since I took my last dose over forty-eight hours ago. It could continue to last for several days, or end in a few minutes.

I have no idea, because of its potency. However, stress and the infusions may force it out of my system faster. There's no way to know until it happens. Man, I love playing Russian Roulette with my biology.

The sarcasm is practically dripping from my thoughts, detracting from my zen. Forcing myself to shake myself from my spiral, I turn on the diffuser I have in my nest with clary sage. I'm pulling out the big guns, but my last way to pull myself from this is to ask Auggie to purr for me, and I'm way too stubborn to do that.

I can handle this.

Breathing deeply, my lashes flutter at the calming scent.

I can handle anything because I'm a badass. I have no experience with dating, but now I have three alphas as my scent matches, and my best friend's boyfriend. How did a virgin find herself in this predicament?

"Just chill out, it's not the end of the world yet," I whisper to myself.

Tommy and Jasper take up all the air in the room, which is why I ran to my bedroom for the inhaler. I already felt as if I couldn't breathe, I needed my safety blanket in the form of a puff. It's like alpha repellent.

Unfortunately, my plan went to shit, and now I need to put on my big girl panties.

Tomorrow, I'll put on clothes that make me feel like a badass, find ways to make Jasper and Tommy decide I'm too much for them and send them packing back to Chicago, and only have one alpha to figure out.

One is better than three. I need less complications in my life. My heat is in just a few days, and I don't think I'll be strong enough to go through it alone. It hurts so much, ramping up in pain each time. My body is punishing me for denying myself.

I never told Auggie, because he'd never leave if he knew that each self inflicted heat spent alone brought me closer to madness.

"I'm not strong enough," I whisper. Omegas aren't meant to do this alone, which is why Aisling and Wren are also working on a program for omegas who want to spend their heat with a pack. They'll be able to switch packs each month, or stick with one.

The hope is that less omegas will have this ripping pain run through their bodies each month with no safe recourse.

Taking a deeper breath than before, I smell cinnamon bark and grapefruit. There's nothing in my closet that should smell like that, and I frown as I snuggle into my sweater in concern. Soon, I'm surrounded by that scent.

Auggie wears the sweatshirt I'm wearing, so it always will smell like him, even though he knows I won't know the difference.

Holy fucking shit balls, Batman!

Auggie smells like safety, home, and my favorite tea when I need something comforting. My eyes drift closed as I feed a deep need to be hugged by him. There's this longing I've never known before, too.

Has he always felt like this?

Tears slide down my face as I pull my hood over my head, so I can just sit with his scent, my thoughts growling, "Mine."

It's a testament to Augustine's control that he didn't say the same the day we met. Every interaction we've ever had races through my thoughts, but he's always acted like my best friend. There's been moments of closeness while dancing where his green eyes have heated and his cock has been hard, but that's all.

Augustine is a damn saint.

Exhaustion pulls me down from this crazy day, my eyelids growing heavier with every moment. I'll go to sleep and then face this tomorrow. I don't know how I'll act when I see him. I feel as if I'm in the throes of a deep crush and an established relationship I don't understand the mechanics of.

It's a wild pendulum of emotions, making me whimper as my stomach pitches.

"I don't think you're getting off this ride anytime soon, may as well take the bull by its horns, baby girl. Tomorrow though," I whisper as I fall into a deep sleep.

Time to figure out in the morning how this all works, because there's no hiding from it. Biology has its ways, and it's rearing its ugly head.