Chapter 10

Bobby is snoring like a fucking chainsaw two doors down. I’m about to kick his door open and force him to sleep outside. Normally, we make him sleep far away from the rest of us at camp just so we don’t have to listen to all that damn racket. King is in the bunk across from me, and I can tell by his breathing he’s asleep. Tonight’s accommodations aren’t too shabby. The cot under my back is soft and warm, but I can’t get comfortable.

It took nearly two hours to clean the back of the ambo. She made it clear it’s off-limits from now on. The guys will probably wonder why I smell like sanitizer in the morning, which is none of their goddamn business. I didn’t mind helping her clean one bit. Scottie and I found things to laugh about. I scrub a hand down my face and flop on my side, staring into the darkness. Fuck. Why does this feel weird? There’s a pang of something scratching from the inside, an emotion trying to claw out of my chest. Doubt? Regret? No. Definitely not regret.

Normally, I feel nothing after a hookup, other than release. It’s not a bad thing. I don’t feel like anything is lacking. Most of my escapades are no different than a fun night at the bar. I have a great time, but when it’s over, it’s over .

This doesn’t feel like it’s over.

I silently curse the damn thunderclap that had me all kinds of messed up. When I froze in front of her, I felt like a fucking idiot, especially right after sex. Not the best look, but I appreciate that she didn’t press or try to talk about it. There’s nothing to discuss. Instead, she simply sat with me and held my hand, and it was exactly what I needed in that moment.

Another minute passes by as I glimpse at the clock on my phone’s lock screen. If I fall asleep right now, I can still get just over four hours of sleep.

I shut my eyes, tugging the fleece blanket from earlier over my shoulder, and the scent of her shampoo relaxes my mind. I replay the sounds she made and the way her deep-blue eyes yearned for more.

Whatever pain tomorrow brings, it was worth a night with Scottie.