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Chapter Twelve

Cade

T hen - Age Twenty

"You open it!" January cries, thrusting the thick envelope out toward me. She clamps her hands over her eyes like she's afraid to look, but then she peeks out from between her fingers. Her face is a mixture of excitement and nerves. Her body practically vibrates where she's sitting on the edge of her bed in one of my hoodies and a pair of yoga pants. My hoodie swallows her small frame, making her appear younger than she is.

"You gotta do it," I tell her before I pry her hands away from her face. She's terrified she didn't get into UCLA with me, but she's crazy. Of course they snatched her up as soon as they had a chance. She's too damn smart not to get in.

"I'm nervous."

I drop to my knees in front of her and cup her face. "I know you got in, sweetheart," I tell her, trying to calm her down a little. "You trust me?"

She nods, her tongue swiping along her bottom lip as she stares down at me.

"Then open the letter so I can kiss you."

"Okay," she whispers.

I grin at her and stand up, tugging gently on a piece of her hair.

She takes the envelope from me with shaking hands. For a long minute, she just stares at it and then she peeks up at me once more. "Promise we'll make this work even if I didn't get in?"

"Baby girl," I admonish, shaking my head. "I love you. Even if you didn't get in, I'd still follow you around like a lost puppy. You're never getting rid of me."

"Okay. Just checking." She grins at me and then tears into the envelope.

I take a step back to watch her, wanting to soak in this moment. Seeing her happy is incredible. She's so tiny…it's almost like her body can't hold all of her happiness so it leaks out into the air around her. Maybe that's ridiculous, but when she's happy, she fucking glows.

She unfolds the letter and takes a deep breath before dropping her gaze to it. Her eyes track across the page, widening as she reads. A second later, she leaps from the bed with the biggest smile on her face.

"I did it!" she screams and comes hurtling toward me.

I catch her in my arms and swing her around, laughing as she kisses all over my face, chanting over and over that she did it. She wraps her legs around my waist and clings, laughing.

God, she's beautiful when she's happy.

I take her mouth in a deep kiss, unable to stop myself. Her tongue slides across the seam of my lips before touching mine. As soon as it does, my body lights up like someone sent a jolt of electricity firing through every synapse inside me. She tastes like sugar and the strawberry gloss on her lips. I lick all that shit off before sucking her bottom lip into my mouth.

Once she's breathless and panting, I pull back to rest my forehead against hers. "Congratulations, baby girl," I whisper, loving the way her breath teases at my lips. "I'm so proud of you."

Her smile is so big I know it has to hurt her cheeks. Her eyes shine with happiness and excitement. "We're gonna be together next year," she whispers.

"Hell yeah, we are."

I carry her out to the living room and sit down with her in my lap. If we stay in her bedroom, I won't be able to keep my hands off her. Titan will be home from work soon. I try to be respectful and keep my hands off his sister when he's around. Not that it seems to help much.

He's as distant as ever. More even. I've been staying closer to home as much as possible, but he's rarely around. When he is, he makes some excuse for why he can't hang out with me and January. Most nights, he doesn't even come home. I don't know where he's at or what he's doing. It's worrisome.

I hate that he's trying to cut himself out of our lives, but I'm not going to feel guilty for being proud of my girl. She deserves a quality education, and UCLA is a great school.

After all that shit went down with Tony, she struggled a lot. It took her a long time to feel safe again. She deserves to be somewhere she can learn and grow and be happy without constant reminders of all the crap she's gone through here. I want that for her.

I guess Titan does, too, but he's not getting rid of us completely.

"I've been thinking," I say, running my hands from her waist up to her ribcage and then back down.

She slides her hand through my hair, pushing it back from my forehead. Instantly, my muscles go lax, my entire body relaxing. Except my dick, which turns to steel in my pants. My eyes fall closed, a pleased rumble whispering from my lips. I love when she does that. It's sweet as hell and reminds me of when my mom and Ma Lucia would do the same thing when I was a kid.

"Thinking about what?" she asks, wiggling on my lap.

I still her hips before she starts something we aren't going to be finishing right now. "Your scholarship will cover housing," I murmur, tipping my head back to rest it on the back of their worn sofa.

"It will," she whispers, her eyes locked on mine.

"But you won't need housing if you live with me."

Her gaze flits back and forth across my face, and then she pushes her hand through my hair once more. "You asking me to move in with you, Michael Ian Kincaid?" she asks, grinning at me.

"Maybe. You'd be right next door to Titan and your mom. When I piss you off, you could always come stomping over here." Not that I'd let her stay for long. We don't fight often, but I always come looking for her when we do. I pick her little ass up and carry her off. And then I kiss the shit out of her until she forgets why we were fighting. Making up with her is the best part of arguing. She loves it as much as I do, but she'll never admit it.

"Like you'd let that happen," she says with a laugh, rolling her eyes. "You never let me stay mad at you."

"I'm fucking miserable when you're mad at me."

"If you weren't so bossy, I wouldn't get mad at you."

"If you weren't so stubborn, I wouldn't have to be bossy, little monster."

She narrows her eyes at me and then growls, making me chuckle.

"Seriously, baby girl. I love that you trust me to keep you safe, but I swear you don't listen just to piss me off sometimes. You shouldn't be trying to do so much on your own. That's what you have me for."

She's always trying to do everything by herself. It's like, since Tony attacked her, she feels like she has to take the world on by herself to prove she can. But fuck that. She will never have to take the world on by herself because I'll be at her side to do it for her.

"You're worried about Kaleo," she says, reading me as easily as ever.

I shrug a shoulder, not answering. Truth is, yeah, I am worried about Kaleo. He's been on his best behavior since I kicked his ass. He hasn't even shown his face on this block in almost a year. That worries the hell out of me.

When Kaleo gets quiet, it's because he's up to something. Just like he was last year when he sent Tony after January. Whatever he's plotting can't be good. I've asked Titan about it a few times, but he just shrugs me off and tells me that he's handling it. That worries me, too.

We've always handled shit together.

"I'm not afraid of Kaleo," January says, putting her palms on my face and forcing me to look at her. "He doesn't scare me. But we're not talking about him today. We're celebrating the fact that I get to stalk you around campus next year."

"Stalk me, huh?"

"Definitely," she whispers, licking her lips as she stares at mine. "I'm going to stalk the shit out of you, Michael Kincaid. You'll get so tired of me that you'll be thrilled when I stomp over here to ignore you."

"Fuck," I curse and tug her forward to take her lips in a deep kiss. It's soft and sweet, not at all like I want to take her. But she's still so young and innocent. I want to keep her that way. She doesn't need to know that she makes me so hard I jerk off to the filthiest thoughts of her at night. She's not ready for the things I want to do to her. I try to take her soft and sweet like she deserves. "You moving in with me when you graduate, baby girl?"

"Yes," she whispers against my lips.

Her affirmation sends another bolt of desire through me. I kiss her again, unable to stop myself.

"I'll never get tired of you," I tell her a few minutes later, breaking away from her lips. "But you won't have to stalk me. I'll be so busy following you around that you'll never have to wonder what I'm doing."

"I'm okay with that plan," she says with another happy smile reflecting in her eyes.

I'm still staring at her with a goofy grin on my face when Titan opens the front door a few minutes later and stalks inside. He peeks over at us, grunts, and then shakes his head before slamming the door.

January crawls off my lap and settles beside me.

"Hey, stranger," she says to her brother. "Guess what?"

"What?" he demands, not even looking at her.

I grit my teeth when January visibly shrinks at his annoyed tone.

"I got good news today," she says, trying to draw him into a conversation with her.

"That's nice." He rips his shirt off over his head and tosses it toward the laundry room. He toes his boots off and leaves them in front of the door. "I gotta get a shower. I'm late."

"I got into UCLA," January whispers. Her happy smile is long gone now, replaced by sadness.

I wrap my arm around her, trying to offer her a little strength. What I really want to do is knock Titan to the floor and kick his ass for upsetting her.

He freezes halfway across the living room. He stands so still I'm not even sure he's breathing. A cloud passes through his expression before he blinks it away, slamming a disinterested mask into place. "Congrats, kid," he mumbles after a minute. "Glad you got what you wanted."

January sighs sadly when he takes off toward his room. She ducks her head, hiding her face behind her hair. "I used to think I missed him when we were little, and he was chasing after Mandy," she whispers, a sad tremor in her voice. "But now I wish we were back there. At least then, he still talked to me, even if it was just to be mean to me. He barely speaks to me at all now. I hate it."

"I'll talk to him," I promise, pissed that his attitude ruined something so big for her. She doesn't deserve that, especially not from him. He's been her hero since she was a baby. Maybe he's okay with breaking her heart because he thinks she's going to leave him behind, but I'm not. She deserves better from him.

"It's okay," she lies, offering me a sad smile. "At least you're happy for me. I know my mom will be too."

When Jana gets home an hour later, she's just as excited as January said she would be. The two of them disappear into the kitchen to cook January's favorite foods. Jana doesn't even ask if I'm staying. She already knows I'm not going to pass up her cooking. She's not home to do it much, but she is an incredible cook.

"I'll be right back," I tell January, following her into the kitchen to kiss her on the cheek. "I've gotta run an errand."

"You want me to come with you?"

"No, baby girl. Stay and help your mom. I'll be back soon," I promise, brushing my lips across her forehead.

"Okay." She smiles up at me.

I tug on a strand of her hair, grin at Jana, and then head outside. Titan left fifteen minutes before Jana got home, but there aren't too many places he'd be going. He's a creature of habit, preferring to stick close to home, to places he knows and places that know him. In neighborhoods like ours, you learn pretty quickly that wandering too far has repercussions. Kaleo's gang isn't the only crew working South Central. Not even close. His is the closest to our block but not the most dangerous by any means.

I hop in my car and start driving around to all the places Titan could be hiding out. My stomach sinks when I see that someone from our crew spray-painted Kratos , a Greek word for strength, across a street sign at the end of the block, claiming this territory as ours. Seeing it there has me clenching my jaw as anger courses through me. We don't deface or vandalize our property to declare it ours. This area is ours to protect, not to destroy.

Whoever did it will be cleaning that shit up as soon as I find out who it was.

It takes half an hour to check all of Titan's usual haunts, but he's nowhere to be found.

Concern whispers through me.

What is he doing?

I grit my teeth and start toward Kaleo's territory, ice growing in my veins the closer I get. I tell myself over and over there's no way he'd be over here. He hates Kaleo as much as I do.

"Fuck me," I whisper when I get to Kaleo's see Titan's bike parked out front. I pound my fist on the steering wheel, equal parts pissed off and disappointed. My best friend is running around with Curtis Kaleo.

That's why the son of a bitch hasn't retaliated. Titan sold himself to the bastard to keep him away from me and January.

Why didn't I see it before now?

Titan's been distant and moody. He's rarely ever home. When he is, he'll barely acknowledge me or January. He damn sure doesn't tell us what he's doing these days or who he's with when he does it. Even when I ask outright what's going on, he tells me that he's handling it and to worry about January.

He didn't want me to know that he took care of the problem I created by sacrificing himself to Kaleo.

I press the palm of my hand over my heart, trying to rub away the way it aches, but it's no use. Titan's running around with the son of a bitch who made our lives miserable for years…and it's my fault. I shouldn't have gone after him when Tony attacked January. Hell, that's not even the first time I've started shit with him. I've been doing it for years, pushing his buttons to keep him off my back.

I park down the block and watch the clubhouse, my chest hurting and my throat tight.

A few minutes later, January texts me to ask where I'm at. I tell her that I'm running late, but I'll be there soon.

Fifteen minutes later, Titan and Kaleo step outside.

Titan has his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face. He looks pissed to be anywhere near the fucker who's been trying to wedge his way into our block for years. But he stands there and listens as Kaleo talks. He towers over the smaller man and could easily take him, but he doesn't even try.

Kaleo slaps him on the back a couple of minutes later. Titan stalks to his bike and hops on.

I contemplate riding away, but I can't do it. Instead, I wait until Titan pulls off, and then I follow behind him. Kaleo's already gone back inside, so I'm not worried about him seeing me riding by his place. I'm not sure I even care if he does see me.

Titan takes a left at the end of the block, headed toward the high school.

"What are you doing?" I mutter under my breath, watching as he pulls into the school parking lot and then circles around to the football field.

He parks in an empty space.

I hang back, trying to keep hidden behind a couple of cars parked beside the gym.

Titan stays on the bike. A few minutes later, a kid dressed in football gear comes jogging up. He glances around before pulling a wad of cash out of his pocket. He holds it out for Titan, who takes it and hands him a little baggie.

The kid looks at it, grins, and then waves before jogging back the way he came.

A couple of seconds later, Titan pulls off, headed away from the school.

I don't follow him this time. There's no point. I've seen more than enough to know what I've been missing for the last year. Titan is dealing for Kaleo.

I feel like I'm going to throw up, but I don't. Instead, I do the only thing I know how to do…I go back to my girl.

I'm waiting on the front porch when Titan gets home a couple of hours later. January and Jana are in bed for the night. I told January I was going next door to Ma Lucia's to crash. I've been out here since, waiting for her brother to get home. I still don't know what to say to him.

"You sleeping on the doorstep now?" he asks when he sees me sitting on his front porch.

"You're dealing for Kaleo."

His body goes rigid, his jaw clenching. He doesn't deny it, though.

"What the fuck, Titan?" I growl, pissed he's not even going to respond. Pissed he's doing this in the first place. It would kill January and their mom to know he's selling dope to kids at the high school.

"Mind your business," he growls right back at me. "I told you I'd handle shit. I'm handling it."

"By slinging dope for him?" I shake my head, acid burning up my throat. "That's fucked up. You aren't like Kaleo, man. You shouldn't be doing this shit."

Titan laughs, the sound bitter and mocking. "Wake the fuck up, Kincaid. I've always been more like Kaleo than you. The only reason I was never part of his crew was because of you. Because you convinced me there was a better way to keep January safe. We made it work for as long as we could, but shit isn't that simple anymore."

"One of his boys tried to rape her," I snap, pushing myself to my feet. "You forget about that? You really going to stand there and tell me you're cool working with the bastard when your little sister still has nightmares about that shit?"

Titan flinches but doesn't back down. "Kaleo didn't know Tony was going to do that. He was just trying to push your buttons. But I put a stop to all that."

We both know that's a fucking lie. Kaleo knew.

"Do you even fucking hear yourself right now? You put a stop to his bullshit by selling yourself to him!"

"So what? What does it matter to you? You're not even going to be around once you graduate. You'll take January and get the fuck out of here. I'm doing what I have to do to keep her safe until that happens. I don't need your support or blessing. I never asked for it."

"How do you think she's going to feel if she finds out about this, huh? Do you think she's going to feel safe knowing her brother is dealing at her school? Or that she's going to be cool with the fact that you're running around with Curtis Kaleo, doing his bidding so she has a shot of getting out of here unscathed?"

"Doesn't matter," he mumbles. "You aren't going to tell her."

"Don't bet on that."

"You also going to tell her you attacked Kaleo on his own turf? That he was going to tear this block apart to retaliate, but I stopped it? You going to tell her the only reason she's been safe for the last year is because I fixed what you broke?"

My stomach sinks because he's right. This is my fault. "I never meant for this to happen."

"Yeah, well, it did," he says, looking at me like he actually pities me. "I'm doing what I have to do to get her out of here in one piece. If bowing to Kaleo means I accomplish that, then that's what I'm going to do. You don't have to like it. Truthfully, I don't care if you do or not."

"I'll take care of it," I tell him.

"You're not getting it," he says. "I've already taken care of it. He isn't going to send anyone else after her or after you. And you aren't going to say a fucking word to her. As far as she's ever going to know, he backed off because he felt bad about what happened with Tony."

"So that's it, huh? You make all the choices now, and we're just supposed to fall in line?"

He shrugs. "What did you think would happen when you went to college? You're barely around anymore. When you are, you're with January. Someone had to step in and call the shots. And hate to point out the fucking obvious, but I'm doing a hell of a lot better job of keeping him off this block than you ever did."

"And all you had to do to accomplish it was give him exactly what he wanted all along," I snap, clenching my hands into fists to keep from taking a swing at him. "The only reason we ever started this shit was to keep January safe and keep ourselves out of his clutches."

"I did what I had to do. Deal with it."

"You do this, we're done," I warn him. There's not much I wouldn't do for Titan, but watching him ruin his life messing around with Kaleo is where I draw the line. Nothing good will come of that. He knows it just as well as I do. Maybe he's destined to live in this neighborhood for the rest of his life like he seems to think, but that doesn't mean he's destined to turn into another Kaleo. If that's the choice he's hell-bent on making, I'm not going to stand around and watch him do it.

He stops with his hand on the doorknob and then shakes his head. "You do what you have to do, Kincaid."

"You'd seriously choose him over our friendship?" I ask, though I'm not surprised. He's been pushing me away for so long now I'm not sure anything would surprise me anymore. But I never thought I'd see the day he chose Curtis Kaleo over me. I thought our friendship still meant something to him. Maybe that's where I fucked up, though. I thought he valued our friendship as much I do, that I was family to him, too. Guess that's not how this shit works anymore.

"Wake up, man," he says softly. "I already chose him. You're just too fucking stubborn to see it."

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