28. Gave It Away

28

GAVE IT AWAY

“ W hat is wrong with you?” Regan snarled at him. Close to the tone of voice he had with her not long ago.

He realized now that he approached this all wrong.

But all he could think of was the fact that the woman he loved got threatening mail and he had to find out through his assistant. On top of it, she was acting as if it wasn’t that big of a deal!

“Me?” he shouted. “Were you going to tell me about this?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I hadn’t decided fully.”

His eyes got wide. “Hadn’t decided?”

“I went to get a soda. I came back and Miles was opening the mail. That was in it. He was upset. I was trying to calm the situation.”

“Why aren’t you upset?” he asked. This was too much for him. How could she not be nervous about it?

She even admitted she thought it was creepy to get flowers from someone, but nothing else came since and he had to admit he probably overreacted with that too.

“First, I am. Okay. But I don’t need Miles to know. He’d overreact and as his employer and a doctor that people seek out to help with their fears, I’m trying not to show I’ve got my own.”

Zander snorted. “That’s stupid.”

“Don’t piss me off more for how I want to have my clients or employees perceive me.”

She put him in his place. She was a lot stronger than he gave her credit for at times. “Sorry. Maybe. Go on and explain this.”

“Sometimes people who send things this way are afraid of confrontations. I give them a chance to talk to me in an open environment. No judgment or anything. If they don’t like the way things are going, they have the right to end sessions with me or voice concerns and we can try another direction. I don’t hold it against anyone if they don’t agree with me. And sometimes people don’t feel comfortable saying that to me. This could be their expression, however unorthodox.”

He took a deep breath. It made some sense. No, fuck it, it didn’t. Not to his girlfriend. At least in his mind. But he would tone it down. Maybe.

“Has anyone disagreed with you lately? Enough that they’d do this and not admit it at some point?”

“They have, but I’m not going to tell you who they are. I can’t.”

“Regan.”

“No,” she said firmly. “You know I can’t. It’s a piece of paper with hurtful things. Things that could scare me, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions that is their goal. I’ll deal with those when I think it might be.”

“How is that?” he asked. “Just bringing up this letter and asking them what their problem is? Are you going to ask every client since you don’t even know who sent it?”

“Not as simple as that,” she said. “I’ve got a little bit more tact than you do coming in here. Miles and Betsy know us well enough that you ruined it.”

“Ruined what?” he asked, throwing his hands in the air. He was having a hard enough time trying to figure this all out.

“The way we were going to tell them. After the holiday too.”

“What’s a week?” he asked.

“They might tell the Fierces,” she said.

“Which we want them to and I don’t care,” he said. “That is nothing compared to this.”

He had the paper in his fingers and was waving it around.

She stood up and took it out of his hand and laid it on the desk. “Relax,” she said.

Her voice was calm and she took his hand and led him to the couch. She sat next to him and not across from him. If she’d done that he might have stood up and walked out the door.

“It’s hard to do that when I’m worried.”

Her hand was rubbing his leg up and down. “There is nothing to be worried about. Do you trust me?”

“You’re playing me,” he said.

“I’m using my professional training to calm you down so that we can talk about this rationally. I’d think it’s better than my screaming back at you.”

“Do you want to scream at me?” he asked. He would welcome that right now. At least she admitted that she wasn’t as laid back about this as he’d thought and was only putting on a front for Miles and Betsy.

“I believe I did,” she said. “Which is what caused Miles to jump on the same bandwagon as Betsy.”

“I don’t ever lose my cool,” he said. “I’m the one that gave it away.”

“We both did,” she said. “I don’t get snarky like I was.”

“You do it all the time with me,” he said.

“But not where anyone can see. Keeping this secret hasn’t been easy.”

“No reason to continue then,” he said. “But if we tell them both to keep it quiet, Betsy will.”

“Miles will too, but I guess I don’t care anymore. It’s not about them. It’s about us.”

He took a few deep breaths and let them out again. Her hand was still soothing him and it was working.

“It is,” he said. “I’m serious, Regan. I don’t like this.”

“I know you don’t, but get used to it.”

“Has this happened before?” he asked.

“I’ve gotten letters before, yes. Most times people sign their names. And when they do, they come into my office and we talk it over. To me, that is their cry for help. Maybe they can’t say it to my face. They don’t have the strength or the courage and need to start the dialogue somehow.”

“This wasn’t signed. You are going in blind. That’s worse.”

“I’m trying not to jump the shark here,” she said. “It’s hard to think and solve problems when you’re emotional.”

“I want you to get a gun permit and a gun,” he said.

“No,” she said gently. “See, emotional response.”

“Yes,” he said firmly. “Please. For me. I just let you pet me like a dog to settle me down.”

She laughed. “You knew what I was doing.”

“I always know what you’re doing when you’re by me. I’m still worked up. It’s going to take a bit to calm me. Do you want me distracted and thinking about you while I’m working?”

“Now you’re trying to negotiate with me,” she said.

“I’m not sure it’s much different than you just asking if I trusted you. Which I do. But it’s the other whackos out there that I don’t trust. And now I’m going out of town next week.”

He felt her shoulders drop. “You need to go next week and it’s not like I can get a permit or learn to shoot by then.”

“If you fill out the application online today, Betsy is a notary. She can do that for you and you can submit everything you need tomorrow. From that point on its two to four weeks. I know a few people. We can push it.”

“Zander. Stop. I don’t want to have a gun in my possession that I don’t know how to use. Pushing it does nothing. You’re still going out of town next week. Your father is next door.”

“I’m going to make sure he is there when you’re in the building. He’ll be fine with it.” His father would volunteer once he had the facts.

“I’m not giving in because you want me to do it,” she said.

“But you’re going to be reasonable and do it because you know it’s the smart thing to do if you’re here by yourself with a client at night.”

“I’m rarely here with a client alone. I stopped doing that over a month ago and even then, it was maybe once or twice a month. When I’m here alone, it’s video sessions.”

“Can’t you take those sessions at home?” he asked.

“I could, but the scheduling doesn’t allow it. I don’t have the time to drive home. Could I ask Miles to schedule it that way? Sure. But I like the way things are now. I think we have bigger issues than this stupid letter.”

He didn’t think it was so stupid.

“What’s that?”

“The fact that I smell popcorn.”

He sniffed the air. “So?”

“That is Miles out there and most likely with Betsy waiting for the show to continue.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Nope,” she said, laughing.

“I messed this up, didn’t I?”

She laid her head on his shoulder. “You did.”

“Now what?”

“Oh, now you want to know what I think we should do?”

“I know what I want to do, but I don’t want you pissed at me again.”

“I think you handled it just fine,” she said.

“It’s more like you handled me. I’m not sure how I feel about that,” he said.

“Don’t make me feel bad about it,” she said. “We both used our professional training to get our way. I’ll get the gun permit and I got you to calm down a bit.”

He turned and cupped her chin. “I don’t want you to feel bad. But I need you to let me know what is going on. I’m being serious about this, Regan.”

He wasn’t sure his heart could take this again.

Love was pretty messed up if you felt like this when you were scared. He had no thoughts in his brain but inflicting pain on the person who sent that letter.

“I know you are,” she said. “So am I. I’ve got this. I’ll keep you posted if I get more or I figure it out and how it goes. I can’t tell you who it is.”

He ground his teeth but knew he couldn’t argue with that.

“So what do we do once we open this door? Or do we wait in here until they leave?”

She looked at her watch. “I’ve got a client coming in fifteen minutes. We can’t wait in here much longer.”

“Do we open the door and kiss and then I just walk out?”

“And leave me here to deal with Miles alone? No way. Not fair.”

“Yeah. Not a good game plan. Then Betsy will want to know things and Miles and she will compare notes.”

“That’s right. We do this together.”

She got up and walked to her desk. “What are you doing?”

“Watch and learn.” She picked up her phone and buzzed Miles’s desk.

“Yes, Regan,” Miles said.

Sounded like he was on speakerphone.

“What kind of popcorn did you make?” she asked.

“Cheddar. We still have half a bag left. How much longer?” Miles asked.

“Do you have candy bars out there?”

“I’ve got my chocolate stash,” Miles said.

“Zander likes caramel. If you bring something in with caramel, we’ll answer questions.”

“Give me two minutes,” Betsy said.

She hung the phone up and returned to the couch and sat, then jumped up and moved her desk chair over next to the chair she sat in for sessions.

“What was that about?”

“They are going to sit on the couch and we are sitting here. We will tell them what we want. But Miles knows I needed to be bribed for it.”

“You’re in the mood for chocolate,” he said. “You said that last night when we were talking.”

“I am,” she said. “Best way to get what I want. Kind of like bribing the hostess before going into a restaurant.”

“You’re a smart one,” he said and then turned when the door opened and two candy bars were dropped on the table between the couch and chairs.

Zander stood up and went to sit in her chair and she sat in the desk chair.

“Sit by me, Betsy,” Miles said. “Couch time. We’ve got ten minutes or less before your next client shows up.”

“That’s right,” Regan said. “So this is short and sweet right now. We know the Fierces recruited you.”

Miles’s face dropped. “How did you figure that out?”

“I knew all along,” Zander said. “I filled Regan in.”

“Have you two been together since before or after you figured out who the Fierces had matched up?” Betsy asked.

“Before. The Chinese dinner that you knew about.”

“I told you he’d figure it out,” Betsy said to Miles. “I wondered if you did that on purpose.”

He hadn’t, but maybe he should have. “It doesn’t matter. They don’t know, but it’s been about two months.”

“We know the Fierces asked you to push us together. We didn’t need help. We don’t need it now. If you want to let them know, that is fine, but I’d like you to do it after the holiday. Let them enjoy the time with their family.”

“Diane and Grant have a new grandson. They should focus on that,” he said.

“So on Monday we could let it slip?” Betsy said. “If they happen to show up at the office.”

“Meaning you want to send them an email or text to come to the office?” he asked.

“Maybe,” Betsy said.

He looked at Regan. “Fine. Monday. I’ll be out of town anyway. As for this letter… I expect you, Miles, to keep an eye on things and keep your ears open. Let Regan know if you suspect anything. She’s agreed to get a gun permit and weapon.”

He turned and saw her grind her teeth. Maybe she didn’t want Miles to know that since she’d said a few times she tried to stay strong in front of him. Oh well, he probably blew it again.

“Yes,” she said. “I’ll do that. Zander said Betsy can notarize it and then I’ll deliver it next week.”

There was no reason to push her to do it faster. She was being responsible for wanting to have a gun and not be able to fire it. He couldn’t even bring her to the range without a permit either and didn’t know anyone who had land for him to use in private this weekend.

“Maybe I should get one too,” Miles said.

“That is your choice but not necessary,” Regan said. “Not to have here.”

“I’ll think about it,” Miles said. “I’m not sure I see either one of us holding a gun.”

“I’ve got a permit and gun,” Betsy said.

She did and he hated it but understood why she felt the need for it too.

“I didn’t know that,” Miles said.

“If we are done now,” Regan said. “I’ve got a client coming in and would prefer not to have a group standing around.”

Zander reached for both candy bars. Two Milky Ways and handed one to Regan. “We are done. Let’s go, Betsy. Regan, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Aren’t you going to give her a kiss?” Miles asked. “Otherwise I’m going to think you’re yanking my chain.”

Regan stood up and moved to him, grabbed his shirt, plastered her lips to his, and then slapped his ass on the way out. “Happy now, Miles?”

Miles did a little hop in place and clapped his hands. “Gurl, I’m so happy. Are we going to talk details?”

“No,” Zander said.

“Come on,” Regan said. “It’s just girl talk. Miles won’t look at your ass anymore than he already was when you walk out the door.”

“I’m out of here,” Zander said, the heat filling his face, and he tried to ignore the fact three people were laughing at him.

How the hell had he lost the upper hand when he went marching in there twenty minutes ago?