41. Some Good Advise

41

SOME GOOD ADVISE

“ W hat are you doing here?” Michael asked when he noticed Kelly in the doorway of his office on Monday afternoon. She walked in and shut his door.

“I came to talk to you. I’m not going to wait days again. We said we weren’t going to do this.”

“You’re the one that walked out again,” he said.

“That’s right. I did. And I don’t think I’m in the wrong for what happened again, but I’m not going to wait for you either. We have to talk it out without Ty around.”

“We do,” he said. “I’m not sure I’m ready to apologize yet.”

“Why is that?” she asked, frowning.

He knew he had to and it was getting tiring on his end.

Michael hadn’t felt he was answerable to anyone for years. That was his fault too.

The truth was, he was still so raw from everything going on with Electra that he’d jumped the gun on Kelly once again.

He was starting to feel like an ass over it and he’d be lucky if she was willing to even give him a second chance.

The fact she was here though told him that hopefully she would.

“I’m getting sick of doing it,” he said.

“I’m not the one that should apologize,” she said, crossing her arms. “You didn’t even give me a chance to finish telling you everything. You just judged me like so many others would and that is why I’ve never said a word about it. Because I hadn’t wanted to be looked at or talked about like that.”

He saw the tears in her eyes and felt like crap over it. “Sit down,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what exactly?”

He ran his hands through his hair. “Everything. I feel like my life has been this crazy rollercoaster and I put Ty first and don’t think of anyone else. I’m wrong to do that.”

“You’re not wrong to do it,” she said. “He’s your son and a child. You should be protecting him and looking out for him with those things.”

“I know,” he said. “But I should be doing it for you too and I’ve been selfish by not doing it.”

“I think you have been,” she said. “Maybe I should have spoken up more, but it’s not my place.”

He sighed. “It is your place. I love you and want you in my life and I need to know these things.”

“If I didn’t come here to talk, how long would it have been before you did it?”

“I would have called you tonight when Ty was in bed,” he said. “But I wanted to talk in person.”

“Then I’m glad I took this step. Michael, you’ve got to stop assuming and jumping on everything. I mean it.”

“I know,” he said. “I do and it’s hard to break a lifetime of that. Since I’m the one always making the decisions in life, I don’t necessarily take others’ opinions to heart. I feel as if I’ve been trying with you though, but I still suck at it.”

“I know it’s hard for you to say those things. I don’t want to say you suck at it, but it’s hurtful on so many levels.”

Which was worse in his eyes. That he’d do anything to hurt her in any way.

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I know I hurt you. I didn’t mean it. I was up all night thinking about it. Even Ty wanted to know if I was mad at him. He says I throw things when I’m mad.”

She lifted an eyebrow. “You throw things?”

“I think I handle them more forcefully. Like in the grocery store, I drop or shove things into the cart harder than normal.”

“Got it,” she said. “Good information to have.”

“So you’re going to forgive me?”

“I want to. I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want to keep going through this every few weeks or months either when something comes up.”

“I know,” he said. “I’m not delusional enough to think we aren’t going to fight. That there aren’t going to be some bumps in the road or the road even worn down a lot.”

“No,” she said.

“But I can get better at it. I want to get better. Starting with you telling me what happened and me not jumping to conclusions. And, by the way, I hadn’t said anything.”

“You were condemning. I heard it in the tone of your voice and your facial expressions. Just like Ty knowing when you’re mad. You didn’t think I should have taken the money.”

She wasn’t wrong with her words.

“I don’t know what I was thinking other than it shocked me.”

“The whole thing shocked me. I did what I thought was right. I offered them the money. Told them about it and wanted to give it to them. If I was that horrible of a person, I wouldn’t have gone over to tell them. They didn’t know about it either. I could have gone about my life with no one the wiser.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because it’s what I said. He was my husband for a few months. We didn’t even live together. I bought us cheap silver rings and that was it. His parents paid for everything. All his medical bills and expenses. They should have gotten the money. But I couldn’t tell the insurance company to give it to them. Actually, I tried and they said no. Even after what they’d said to me, when the check came, I didn’t cash it. My parents went over with the check trying to get them to take it. Brian’s parents didn’t want it. I thought maybe my parents could get through to them.”

“And they couldn’t?” he asked.

“No,” she said. “My parents couldn’t even get in the door. They had the check in their hand that I signed to hand to them and the door was shut on them and they were told to keep the money. I paid for my college with it and made a good-sized donation in his name to the leukemia foundation. The rest I invested.”

She still did a nice thing with the money. Smart things.

“That’s rude of them,” he said. “And if they were so rude about it, why seek you out on Sunday?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “They hate me. Like they think I caused everything to happen to Brian. I’m sorry they feel the way they do about me, but I can’t change it and I won’t. They wanted me to feel the guilt for years and I have.”

“There is no reason for you to feel guilty,” he said. “Why do you?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “I just do. They made me feel like shit and I’ve kept that inside for years. I can’t break it. Maybe if they took the money, I wouldn’t. It’s like they knew this would happen. As if I was the selfish one.”

“You are the least selfish person I know,” he said, getting up and reaching his hand out. She threaded their fingers together and he pulled her up and into his arms. “I’m sorry they made you feel that way. So sorry. And that I compounded it and made you feel worse. I don’t ever want to do that again.”

“I don’t care if we fight,” she said, hugging him back. He heard her sniffling some. “I know we are going to. But I don’t like the way I felt inside after the two times we did.”

“I don’t like it either,” he said. “And I know I caused it so that makes me even more of an ass.”

“I want to say you shouldn’t be sorry, but the truth is, we are both at fault for the way we handled it. It’s the second time I just ended things and walked out. That’s not healthy either.”

“No,” he said, pushing her back a little. “It’s not. We agreed to talk and you didn’t.”

“Which is why I didn’t sleep much last night.” She moved over to the chair and sat again and he leaned on his desk. “Cade noticed I looked like shit. He came in to talk to me and I thought he knew what happened and that you’d said something to him or Alex and I was almost pissed that you’d share that.”

“Never,” he said. “They don’t know what is going on.”

“I realized that. He wanted to know how things were going with Electra moving. But then he realized I thought it was something else. Jolene was coming in and he wanted to forewarn me.”

“But she came to talk to you anyway,” he said. “Didn’t she?”

“She did. Surprisingly she didn’t get too nosy but gave me some good advice.”

“Which she is going to brag about, right?” he asked, laughing.

“Most likely. But it was good advice. And she said that she knew we were perfect for each other.”

He snorted. “Did she say she knew all along?”

“Yes,” she said, smirking. “The truth is, I might have needed to hear it. Not that I need her approval.”

“Sure, you do,” he said. “I think we all need approval for some things in life.”

“Yes,” she said. “And she does have a good track record. I think we had a good thing going.”

“Had?” he asked.

“Have,” she said. “Still.”

“We do,” he said. “And we can continue if we work it out. Like we are now.”

“We are,” she said. “I’ve waited so long for you in my life. I’d be crazy to walk away. Just like I was crazy to walk away without talking to you twice already. I won’t again.”

“And I won’t jump to conclusions again either. I promise.”

“Sure, you will do it,” she said. “Just like I’ll walk away. But we have to stop the other. Right?”

“We do,” he said. “I know we can do it.”

Kelly got up and moved over to him, her arms wrapping around his waist. “We absolutely can,” she said. “I love you. I feel this is like a broken record, but are we good?”

“We’re good,” he said. “Our record is strong.”

“Good thing,” she said. “Because once Jolene sees me smiling tomorrow, she’s going to say she is the one who wrote our song first.”

He laughed. “Let her think it if it makes her feel better.”

“She’s going to believe it anyway, so might as well.”

“It’s Jolene. She’s never wrong,” he said.

“And she wasn’t this time either!”