38. Walk Away

38

WALK AWAY

“ A re you sure you’re okay watching Ty for a little bit this morning?” Michael asked the next day.

“Of course I am,” Kelly said. “Why would you think I wasn’t?”

“Just checking,” he said. “I need to get this over with. The longer that I wait, the more it builds. Everyone has to move on at this point.”

He looked around the kitchen and Ty wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Most likely in the front living room playing.

“Do you think you’ll get any answers?” she asked.

“I’m going to lay it out again. I’m going to want an answer.”

Watching his son ask where his mother was yesterday and having to make something up was coming to an end. Even Electra’s parents didn’t know. Not that he expected them to know much, but they had no idea what was going on in their daughter’s life in terms of Ty.

“Good luck,” she said. “What are you going to tell Ty now?”

“Just that I’m running errands and he can stay with you. He won’t think anything of it.”

“I’ll keep him entertained. He got a lot of new things yesterday and we’ll make our way through them.”

He leaned down to kiss her. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

Ty came running into the room. “Can I have some milk?”

“I’ll get it,” she said.

“Ty, I’m running out to do a few things. Kelly is going to stay with you and check out all your new toys.”

“Sweet!” Ty said. He gave his kid a high five and then walked out the door to his SUV.

When he got to Electra’s, he knocked on the door and she kept him waiting even though she knew he was coming.

He’d texted her last night and even called and left a message. A firm message to call him back and she did almost immediately after she’d ignored his texts.

He heard the music in the background when she called. She was out partying at some club rather than coming to her son’s party. It only pissed him off even more.

He knocked a second time and she finally opened the door. She was barely dressed even though it looked as if she’d showered and layered her makeup on.

The crop top showed more of her midsection than was covering her body. Her cotton shorts were more like ones Kelly wore to bed and her ass cheeks hung out. He loved them on his girlfriend. They looked trashy on his ex.

What the hell did he ever see in her other than the fact that she was so easy to get in bed and he was out having fun?

“Come in,” Electra said. “What’s the problem?”

“Do you know what yesterday was?” he asked.

“No. It wasn’t my day to have Ty. What you do with him on your day is your business.”

He ground his teeth. He’d texted her twice about the party as a reminder. “It was our son’s birthday. You don’t remember the day he was born?”

She stopped walking away from him and turned to stare. “I forgot. You always remind me.”

“I shouldn’t have to remind you,” he shouted. “And I did. Twice. Once on Friday even. Yet you still blew it off. Your parents didn’t even know where you were and couldn’t believe you didn’t show up for his party. Ty asked where you were and I made something up that you were probably working. Then he asked why you didn’t call.”

“I’m sorry,” Electra said. Her eyes were filling up and he didn’t know if it was part of her game or not. He was beyond it all at this stage though.

“Sorry isn’t good enough. I asked you over a month ago to figure things out and it’s gotten worse and not better. I’m not sure what is going on, but I want an answer.”

“An answer to what?” she asked, frowning. Her tears dried up fast now that she knew he wasn’t giving in or changing his tune.

“You needed to figure out if you were going to step up as a mother. You haven’t. You’ve stepped back and it’s even more confusing to Ty. He has no idea where you are and if he’s going to see you.”

“I’ve been busy,” Electra said.

“Busy doing what? You know the schedule. It’s been the same for five years. I’m not buying any of it. Things got worse when you found out about Kelly. Admit that.”

“I don’t give a shit who you fuck,” Electra said. “Just like you don’t care about who I’m with.”

“That’s right,” he said. “I don’t care who you are with as long as it’s not in front of Ty. But I expected you to at least spend time with him. Or don’t you want that? If you don’t, then say it. Don’t keep pretending because it’s not helping anyone and only hurting him.”

“I didn’t want to be a mother,” Electra said.

It wasn’t news to him. “But you are one. Why even go through with the pregnancy then? I would have never known.”

It broke his heart to say those words and the thought that he wouldn’t have had Ty in his life. But what he was saying was the truth. He only found out because she was showing seven months along at that point.

“I didn’t know I was pregnant,” Electra said, shrugging. “I just thought my period was late and I always lose track of it. Then when I started to gain weight, I still didn’t figure it out. One of the guys I was with one night said something.”

He ran his hands through his hair. He was disgusted that she found out she was pregnant when a guy she was sleeping with noticed that her stomach was shaped with a baby.

“You had no clue?” he asked.

“Nope. Thought I was constipated. It happens,” Electra said. “But I went to the doctor and by then it’s not like I could do anything about it. I was stuck.”

Stuck. He’d never heard it phrased like that. Maybe if he knew all these things back then he would have had a different approach.

But when he was trying to figure out a custody arrangement, she said she wanted to be part of Ty’s life. She agreed to everything.

Maybe he pushed it more than he should have.

“You’re not stuck anymore,” he said. “I’m giving you an out and I want an answer. Do you or don’t you want to be part of Ty’s life? And by being part of it, it means you are going to show up and be present when it’s your time.”

“I don’t know,” Electra said.

“You don’t know if you want Ty in your life? Your son?”

“I just don’t feel the connection to him like you do. I guess when you called it babysitting, that is all I think of it. Then I wouldn’t have to be tied down either.”

He rolled his eyes. He should be relieved and yet his heart shattered for his son.

“So you’re telling me right now, you don’t want visitations with Ty at all? You want me to legally change the custody agreement.”

“Would I have to pay for that?”

“No,” he said. “I’ll take care of it.”

“Then yes. I think it’s best.”

“You don’t want to do a trial first?” he asked. “Just take a few months off and see how it goes before you make it legal? Once it’s legal, then it’s done. I’m not going back again. I’m not saying you can’t see him, but I’m going to make it clear that you have to give me at least forty-eight hours notice and I can still decline you if it doesn’t work in my schedule or plans.”

“Have it say whatever you want. I think this is best,” Electra said, shrugging. She wasn’t upset or showing any emotion. She just walked over and grabbed a soda out of the fridge and popped the top on it.

More things she always had for herself but no milk or juice for their son.

“Are you going to tell your parents what is going on?” he asked. He wasn’t sure why he was even offering that, but he didn’t want Ty’s grandparents to be blindsided. He’d told them he’d let them stay in Ty’s life and he was going to honor that.

“No,” Electra said. “Not right now. It’s my life and not theirs.”

He’d text Amber when the documents were legal. He didn’t expect Electra to change her mind, but no reason to bring anyone else in right yet.

“What do you want me to tell Ty?” he asked. “Anything? Any message for him at all? I’m guessing you don’t want to see him one last time to say anything. Even if it’s the right thing to do.”

“I don’t know what I’d say. I’d rather not. It’s better this way. You’ll handle it better than me. You always do. I’m not good at those things.”

“I want to make this clear,” he said. “You’re not saying goodbye to your son and don’t know when you’ll see him again.”

“I understand,” she said.

“Do you want any updates on him? Pictures or anything?” he asked. He wanted to be able to put his head on the pillow at night that he did everything he could and no one could come back and say he screwed his ex over.

“Nah,” Electra said. “Not now. Maybe in the future, but it’s best to just walk away like this.”

As if it was some bad habit that she was breaking.

There was no change in her tone of voice, no emotion at all.

“Do you want me to take his things out of the apartment?” he asked. “You know, so you have no reminders.” He knew it was said sarcastically.

“Actually,” Electra said. “That’s a good idea. Then I can redo that room and make it something fun. I’ll see if I can get some boxes. There are always a few down by the recyclables dumpster.”

“Go get them,” he said, moving past her into his son’s room.

Jesus. There wasn’t even much in here. Most of it was what he’d bought and things his son had at home already.

“Here are two,” Electra said five minutes later.

“That’s enough,” he said. “He doesn’t need some of these things as he has them already.”

“What am I supposed to do with them?” Electra asked.

“Give them away or throw them out. I don’t care.”

He packed up and walked out the door with the two boxes on top of each other. He hoped he never came back.

“How did it go?” Kelly asked. He turned his head from where he was getting the boxes out of his SUV and dropped them in the corner of the garage. No reason to bring them into the house. Ty most likely wouldn’t want them as a reminder either.

“Not good. She’s walking away without thought or argument. Didn’t even want his stuff in the apartment.”

Kelly’s jaw dropped. “You’re joking.”

“No,” he said. “I should be relieved, but I’m just pissed off.”

“Of course you are,” she said. “I can’t believe any mother can do that.”

“I gave her a few options and she chose that,” he said. He told her how it went. “We need to get inside before Ty comes looking for you.”

“He’s watching a movie,” she said.

“I know, but I need to get this over with and tell him.”

“Do you know what you’re going to say?”

“Not the truth,” he said. “That would be hurtful and he doesn’t need that in his life. He doesn’t need to feel as if he’s not wanted.”

“No,” she said, wrapping her arms around him. “It’s going to be hard enough as it is. Confusing too.”

“I need his life to be stable. I can do it. Are we going to be okay with this? You and me?”

“Absolutely,” she said. “Never think otherwise. I’m serious. You have to do what is best for Ty and it’s this. You know I support you. Do you not believe me?”

“I believe you,” he said. “I just needed to hear it again.”

“Then I’ll say it again. I’ll support you in any way I can. At any time. I’m here for you and him. I love you both and never doubt that for a minute.”

He held her tightly, then let go.

They walked into the front room where Ty was watching a movie.

“Hi, Dad,” Ty said. “You’re back.”

“I am. Can I pause your movie so we can talk?”

“Am I in trouble?” Ty asked.

“No,” he said. “But we need to talk about your mother.”

“She doesn’t want to see me anymore, does she?” Ty asked. His eyes filled with tears. “Was I too loud and she got in trouble?”

Fucking A.

He pulled his son into his arms. “You weren’t too loud. You’re not in trouble. Don’t ever think that. Don’t change who you are for anyone. Ever.”

“But Mom doesn’t want me anymore, does she?” Ty asked.

He pushed his son back some so he could look into his eyes. This might be the hardest conversation he’d ever have to do.

“This isn’t on you, Ty. Your mother has a lot going on in her life. It’s not that she doesn’t want you. Never think that. She needs some time and space to figure things out and we both agreed it’s best to let her have it.”

“Can I talk to her at least?” Ty asked.

He closed his eyes, then looked at Kelly before saying, “For now I think it’s best to give her time. I’m sorry. I really am. I’m here for you. All four of your grandparents are here too. No one is going anywhere.”

“Just Mom?” Ty asked.

“For now,” he said. “It doesn’t mean it’s permanent.”

“So I might see her again?” Ty asked.

“Yes,” he said. “This is just for now. Maybe once she figures some things out, it will change.”

But he didn’t expect that because an hour after he’d let her know how it went, she only replied that she was going to quit her job and move with some friends to Florida.