19. Making The Decisions

19

MAKING THE DECISIONS

“ I can’t believe Cade knows,” Kelly said later that night.

She’d gotten out of work and went to Michael’s for dinner.

He’d left to get Ty at daycare and drop him at Electra’s for a few hours and rather than go back to work came home so they could have a few hours together.

“He said it was by accident,” he said. “I believe it. I’m surprised he even processed what was being said with everything else going on in his life right now.”

“Tell me about it,” she said. “He has loose lips too, but he won’t be around much. I’m sure the next time he sees me he’ll say something. I’m surprised he didn’t today.”

“I’m sure he wanted to verify it with me first. Part of me wondered if he didn’t know for sure but was guessing. It’s easier to have that conversation with a guy.”

“Makes sense,” she said. “He could have just thought I was coming here to get a few things and Ella and I were having a business conversation. Cade isn’t one to normally put those things together.”

“He did this time,” he said. “Is it a problem?”

“Not if you don’t think so,” she said. “I just worry Jolene will find out next.”

And if Jolene didn’t think they were a good fit, would she let that be known?

Kelly didn’t want to think she’d change her mind or let that affect how she felt about Michael, but she never wanted to make anyone mad either.

“Is it a big deal at this point if she does?” he asked. “I know we said we wanted to keep it secret, but I’m not really doing it for Jolene. To me it’s more about everyone else that we work with. Jolene is the least of my worries.”

She laughed. “It’s easy for you to say that because you have no problem giving Jolene some grief. You don’t work for her; I kind of do.”

No kind of about it. Jolene and Gavin still owned part of Fierce with their kids. And though her boss was Cade and sometimes Ella, it was still Jolene everyone listened too if it came down to it. Most times.

“Don’t worry about her,” he said. “Hungry? I know you just walked in the door.”

“But we never have a lot of time,” she said. “I get it.”

He let out a sigh. “Does that bother you?”

“Of course not,” she said. “We’ve talked about this already.”

“I know we have. But we are a few weeks in now and maybe it gets old.”

“If it’s getting old a few weeks in, then there is an issue. There isn’t one for me. Is there for you? Do you want to spend more time with me and aren’t sure if I do?”

His head went back and forth. “I’d like to spend more time with you but not sure if you’re ready to meet Ty any more than I’m ready for you to meet him.”

She wouldn’t be hurt over hearing that. She understood it.

“I’ll be ready when you say you want me to,” she said. “How is that?”

If he said he wanted her to meet his son tonight, she’d be cool with it. But she wasn’t going to ask.

She’d rushed into relationships in the past and they failed as much as the ones that were a slow burn.

She wasn’t sure what she had with Michael. Definitely not a slow burn in the passion department. Not even emotionally. Not on her end.

She knew what she felt for him and didn’t see that changing any time soon.

But the last thing she wanted to do was put any kind of pressure on him.

“That works,” he said. “I’m not sure how Ty is going to be. I have to start slow and let him know what is going on first. Then we can see if he wants to meet you.”

“If?” she asked. She wasn’t aware that it was all going to fall into the hands of a four-year-old.

“When,” he said. “That came out wrong.”

“Okay. Not trying to tell you what to do, just didn’t know if Ty was the one making the decisions.”

He got up and went to the kitchen. They’d been sitting on the couch after she came in.

She followed and would help him with dinner. She wasn’t sure if she just insulted him or not and hated that she felt on edge about things when she hadn’t before with a man.

“He’s not,” Michael said. “I am, but keeping him in mind. Is that going to be a problem?”

“Let’s stop and rewind,” she said. “I don’t want to fight and I don’t think we should. I’m not sure where things took a bad turn and maybe my question came off wrong.”

She wanted to nip this in the bud now. She didn’t like fighting with anyone.

Kelly didn’t like making anyone sad or upset either.

The guilt would be too much on her shoulders.

“We aren’t fighting,” he said. “I got up to start dinner. Did you think I was mad?”

“Maybe,” she said. “What is going on with us? I don’t normally think that way about your move. But you did sigh. Sighing is normally a sign of frustration.”

“It is,” he said. “But not with you. Maybe it’s more with my life.”

“Want to explain that?” she asked. He took out a few chicken cutlets, bacon, cheese and rolls. “What do you want me to make?”

“The bacon if you don’t mind and I’ll take care of the chicken. Thought we could have chicken sandwiches and I’ve got leftover potato salad from my mother’s on Sunday.”

“That sounds good to me,” she said.

She found a pan and put it on the stove, then opened the package of bacon to get that cooking.

“The frustration with my life was the conversation I had with Alex earlier and then Cade. It just made me realize that I put everyone first other than myself.”

“We have that in common,” she said.

“I would have never guessed that,” he said.

“What does that mean?” she asked, bumping her hip with his. No reason to not keep it playful so he didn’t know she was the one getting frustrated.

“It means that Cade pointed out something I already knew about you. That you’re always happy and bubbly and like to have everyone be that way around you too. That you want to make people smile. The question is, are you doing things to make me happy over what makes you happy?”

She turned to look at him. “I’ve been guilty of those things in the past,” she said. “But not now. Really. When we are in bed together I’m just as happy as you are.”

He laughed and closed one eye at her. “Now you’re trying to be cute.”

“I thought I was always cute. I don’t need to try for that.”

He leaned down and kissed her. “I worry that I’m not around enough for you. The closer we get, the harder it is for me not to have those thoughts. That maybe you will change your mind.”

“I won’t change my mind,” she said. “But if I do, you’ll be the first to know that maybe I need more time. I find that when we have time together, it’s quality time. That is more important to me than just spending hours together on the couch watching some silly TV show. I’d rather spend it doing things together or talking about the important things. I thought we were on the same page there.”

“We are,” he said. “I don’t normally need reassurance, but it was the day for people to bring things up to me.”

“And it got you thinking. Between Alex and Cade both saying the same things and then finding out Jolene knew I was dating. Let’s just focus on the two of us for now. Okay?” she asked.

“Got it,” he said. “I can do that. Which is why we are having a quick dinner so I can focus on you in the bedroom.”

“Why does it have to be the bedroom?” she asked. “You’ve got a nice sturdy couch over there.”

“I do,” he said. “We can put it to the test and see if it holds up well.”

“You mean you haven’t tried it out before?” she asked.

He turned to look at her while he was cooking the chicken.

“You know I haven’t dated anyone in years.”

“But you’ve gone on dates,” she said. “You’ve had sex. No way you haven’t. You even bragged about things a bit too.”

“I wouldn’t say bragged,” he said.

The sparkle in his eyes said enough though. “Please. We’ll let that pass. My point is, if you hadn’t had sex in four years then I’d say you’ve got a natural talent.”

“I do have that,” he said.

She poked her finger in his side, glad they were back to their banter like always. “You didn’t answer me.”

“No, I haven’t had sex on that couch. I haven’t had sex in this house with another woman other than you.”

“Oh,” she said. She hadn’t expected that. “Can I ask why?”

“Because if I was going to have sex with someone, I went to their place so I could leave if I had to.”

“If you got a call to get Ty and you couldn’t get them to leave?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said.

“Is that the only reason?” she asked.

“No,” he said. “Not really.”

“Are you going to share the other reason with me or am I being too pushy?”

Kelly didn’t think either one of them was in a spot to say they were in love. She might be feeling it, but she wasn’t positive if he was that deep right yet.

“Not pushy. I take things lightly with women because of Ty. I feel it out and if I see things are going to be a problem that I’ve got a son or limited time, it’s best to move on. Why bring them into my house right away to have it shoved down their throat a child lives here and is my priority for the moment?”

“You brought me in right away,” she said softly.

“Because you’ve known more than anyone else right away,” he said. “No secrets and nothing to hide.”

“No,” she said. “I’m glad we’ve got that between us too.”

“Me too,” he said. He leaned down to kiss her. “Are we good?”

“We are,” she said. “But we didn’t say what we were going to do about Jolene.”

“Nothing,” he said. “If she finds out, whether it’s by mistake, someone tells her, or one of us feels it’s the right time to share with her, just give the other a heads up. I’m not into making this into one of those planned reveals. Too much work and energy that I don’t have the time for. If others feel that way, it’s on them. I’d rather focus on us and not some production for Jolene’s sake.”

“Thanks for that,” she said. “It makes it easier that I don’t have to worry I made a mistake.”

“No mistakes here. Don’t feel that way.”

She put her arms around his neck. “No mistakes.” Then gave him a slow kiss, one that was more tender than sexy and made her heart pound.