5. A Night To Yourself

5

A NIGHT TO YOURSELF

“ G randma,” Tiffani said. “What’s for dinner tonight?”

“I heard spaghetti was requested again,” Dane’s mother said.

His mother always asked what to make when he spent the night with the kids. This was getting so old in his eyes and he hated it but didn’t know what else to do.

He and Mel each had the kids every four days. They’d tried everything in the book to make it consistent, but it ended up with the kids being gone from one of them a full week to have set days and every other weekend to allow for them to have a personal life.

Dane hadn’t cared one bit. He just wanted what was best for the kids. A personal life was nothing to him and he hadn’t had one worth discussing in years.

But that meant he was staying the night with his parents for three to four nights a month and it drove him insane. It was that or leave the kids there alone and he didn’t want to do that either.

He was thrilled the hospital was fully staffed and he only was on call for one full week a month now. And only had the kids three to four nights during that time.

If it fell over a weekend, sometimes he’d bring the kids to his parents’ house late on Saturday, then in the morning take them back to his house and then come back late on Sunday. He didn’t want his parents to feel as if they couldn’t have a life and had to worry about him.

All he cared about was the fact that someone was in the house if he got called out. They didn’t need to do anything other than be there. He wouldn’t even wake them if he had to leave. They heard him half the time anyway.

Most times, he was just taking calls in the middle of the night and not sleeping much anyway. He rarely had to go in in the middle of the night or could push it off until the morning.

“When are you going to change from your favorite being spaghetti?” he asked Tiffani.

She shrugged. “What do you like, Dad?”

He knew this game. Whatever he said, she’d pick it next but make it sound like it was her idea.

“You know I love beef.”

Both the kids did. Steak, burgers, even meatloaf. It’d give them a variety and make life easier for him too. Though he had to admit spaghetti was easy to make.

“Maybe we can have hamburgers next,” Tiffani said. “I like them.”

“So do I,” Tyler said.

“How about since Grandma is doing the cooking, she gets to decide what to make,” he said. He looked at his mother so she knew not to give in. No reason to start something that the kids would expect.

“You know,” his mother said, “Grandpa said he hasn’t had a good steak in a while. That is beef. ”

“Dad likes steak,” Tyler said. “Me too.”

“I guess,” Tiffani said, a frown on her face.

It tore into his heart a bit, but he wasn’t going to give in. He knew in the long run he had to put these boundaries up.

He could change the subject though and maybe that would help some.

“I waited to tell you that I used your birthday gift last night and went and got my massage.”

“Yay,” Tiffani said. “Did you like it?”

“I did,” he said, picking his daughter up and kissing her on the cheek. “It was the best gift ever. I loved it so much that I booked another one.”

“That’s great,” his mother said. “I guess your daughter had the right idea this year.”

“She did,” he said. “I don’t think I’ve slept that good...in who knows how long.”

He’d gone home and his body was almost sighing in relief. He thought for sure he’d wake up and everything would hurt, but it didn’t.

He got on his rowing machine and put his thirty minutes in like he did five days a week, then did a bunch of push-ups, pull-ups, and sit-ups and he was good to go.

His forty-five-minute workout saved his sanity most times.

It allowed him that time to himself without having to stress, worry, or even think.

The kids would sit in an open loft area outside his workout room and watch TV while he did it. He didn’t even care he was working out to the sounds of cartoons half the time.

To him, it was his time alone where he was answerable to no one.

Tomorrow, he and the kids would go back home after breakfast, the kids would entertain themselves while he worked out again and then he’d find something for them to do as a family before they showed back up here again for dinner.

Monday he’d take the kids to daycare, then go to work. His mother would pick them up if he was held up at work, which normally happened when he was on call, then he’d come back here and not even go home. He hated that the most. They’d repeat on Tuesday into Wednesday morning and Mel would get the kids at daycare Wednesday.

Then he wouldn’t see them again until Sunday morning.

He had it all worked out in his schedule and that was why he was able to schedule his massage with Sloane again. This was on a Wednesday since he’d have the kids on Thursday. Plus he wasn’t on call that week.

“I’m glad to hear that,” his mother said. “I’ve never been one to have someone else touch my body like that.”

His mother wasn’t a prude by any means, but she always had opinions in life.

He supposed, though his parents had those opinions, they were also open minded about the important things.

Like his adoption and never keeping that a secret from him.

Chloe and he always knew they were adopted. Chloe actually talked to her biological mother now and again and even had half siblings she communicated with.

That family had been invited to the wedding two months ago. He wasn’t surprised and his parents didn’t feel threatened by it.

You couldn’t ask for much more than that when it came down to it.

He didn’t know who his biological parents were and didn’t care .

When Mel brought it up, he brushed it off.

To him, they didn’t want him. They tried and couldn’t do it and gave up.

Mark and Doreen Grey had adopted him at three months old.

They gave him a great life and were in his corner every step of the way.

They were still doing it now.

He felt like he couldn’t thank them enough.

And when his ex said she wanted to know more about his genetics before they had kids, it might have been one of their only fights.

But it didn’t stop Mel from doing what she wanted, and two kids later, he was thirty-five years old and spending the night with his parents.

He let out a big sigh knowing this had never been how he’d thought his life would be.

“It was worth it,” he said. “And I’m going back. So I’m glad that Tiffani thought of it. It was perfect.”

“It’s about time you’re doing something for yourself,” his father said, walking into the room. “Tyler, what games do you have planned for us tonight?”

His parents were good that way. If the kids were here on the weekend, they brought out board games for them to play as a family. Because, hey, doesn’t every single full-grown adult want to spend their Saturday nights doing that?

“I want to play Operation,” Tyler said. “Maybe I can be a doctor like Dad.”

“I want to be a doctor like Dad,” Tiffani said.

Oh boy, here they went again.

He supposed there were worse things in life than his kids wanting to be like him .

“Why don’t you both go get the coloring books and crayons out and color me a nice picture,” his mother said.

“I just told Grandma Doreen I wanted to color. She got me some adult books with markers,” his father said.

“Really?” Dane asked, lifting his eyebrow.

His mother shrugged. “I did.”

He rolled his eyes and his kids followed his father into the living room.

“Your idea?” he asked.

His mother pulled a pot out to fill with water, but he took it out of her hands and did that instead.

Vegetables and pasta, pepperoni and cheese came out next so he assumed his mother was making pasta salad that his kids would gobble up with their steak.

“Your father enjoys spending time with the kids. This is quiet time for them.”

“They do like to color. They aren’t fighting or running around while they do that. Good idea.”

“I’ve got them now and again,” his mother said smartly. “Anything new going on with you?”

“Not much,” he said. He turned the burner on for his mother and then moved out of the way while she started to chop everything for the pasta salad.

“Maybe you should change that.”

“It’s a little hard when I don’t know if I’m coming or going half the time. Added to the fact I’m spending the night at my parents’ house a few nights a month.”

His mother grinned. “You don’t have to stay here. You can go out and do something. Or have a night to yourself.”

“First,” he said, “I get three to four nights to myself a week as it is. Second, I don’t see them much and I hate leaving them.”

“If they are sleeping what is the big deal?” his mother asked. “You drop them off before bed, they get in bed and then you get them in the morning. Then you’re sleeping in your own bed on top of it.”

“I don’t want them to wake you if they need something. They rarely get up in the middle of the night and if they do I’m there. I just don’t want them to think that I can’t be there for them.”

“Dane,” his mother said. “Stop projecting the way Melanie felt onto your kids. They are too young to feel that way and you know it. Or do you think she says that to them?”

“I don’t think that,” he said. “At least I hope not, but who knows anything?”

“You know we were all upset over what happened, but we saw it coming too,” his mother said.

He didn’t need to get into this again. “I’ve heard it enough. I’d rather not trash my kids’ mother when they are around.”

“You never trash her,” his mother said. “Maybe you’d feel better if you did.”

“Nope,” he said. “It solves nothing. She says she’s happy and if she’s happy the kids see that. It’s more important they do.”

“You’re right. So take your advice and make sure you’re happy too and the kids can see that.”

“I’m happy,” he said.

“Really?” his mother asked. “Because many would say otherwise. Get out there and have a life and show your kids that it goes both ways. You’re all about setting examples and it’s time you do that. They should see you are moving on too and not just their mother.”

He snorted. “Why don’t you tell me how you really feel?”

His mother walked over and patted his cheek. “I always have and always will. I just want my children happy. You say you are, but I think you’re trying to convince yourself of it more than you should. Why haven’t you tried again? Are you afraid of failure?”

“Failure sucks,” he said. “Trust me.”

“It doesn’t mean it will happen again. Look at Chloe.”

“Chloe always wrote her own rules and you didn’t like it. You and Dad were both upset over finding out about Royce at the same time you found out she was pregnant.”

His sister had been trying to thwart the Fierces’ matchmaking scheme and control her own destiny. In the process of her friends-with-benefits agreement with Royce, she ended up pregnant...and in love.

His parents came around, as he knew they would.

He only wanted Chloe happy and she was in the end. His brother-in-law, Royce, was a great guy.

“And we did accept it,” his mother said. “Just like we’ve been open-minded about everything in both of your lives. Or as much as we could be. We were wrong to tell Chloe she’d never find anyone because she was selfish with her ‘me time’ and didn’t want to compromise. You’re not selfish enough with your time and maybe you should be. Why don’t you set the table.”

Which was his mother’s way of saying she was done talking about this.

It was fine with him because he was too.

Maybe he’d try again, if he could get out of his own damn way.