38. Finish This Conversation

38

FINISH THIS CONVERSATION

T he following Sunday, Mel dropped the kids off at his house. He offered to pick them up, but she said no, she wanted to talk to him.

They hadn’t talked much lately in person. Their exchange days had been during the week and the kids would get picked up after school. Last Saturday, Mel dropped the kids off and just waved as she drove off. He normally did the same.

“Kids,” he said. “Why don’t you go upstairs and play while Mom and I talk?”

“Can we watch a movie?” Tyler asked.

“Yes,” he said.

He and Mel went to the kitchen in the back of the house. The kids wouldn’t hear them unless they were yelling. More so over a movie as the kids were allowed to have the volume up higher for that.

“Don’t you think it’s a little early to have your girlfriend’s kid spending the night with Tiffani?” Mel asked.

He frowned. Guess Tiffani shared that. “No,” he said. “I’ve been dating Sloane for over four months. The kids had met her. They ask about her all the time. They met Shiloh. Tiffani is the one who asked if Shiloh could stay the night. She brought it up.”

“She wouldn’t do that,” Mel argued.

“She did,” he said. “I’m not lying and not sure why she would either. Did you ask her who brought it up?”

Mel stopped for a second. “It doesn’t matter,” Mel said.

Which meant it wasn’t asked and his ex was just assuming things. “What is going on?” he asked. “I haven’t said anything to you, but I’m going to because you brought this up wanting to talk.”

“What does that mean?” Mel asked, frowning.

“It means you’ve got a problem with me dating Sloane and I know it. I wish you’d talk to me about it and not make sly comments to the kids.”

“I don’t do that,” Mel said, crossing her arms.

“So Tiffani is making it up that you told her to check her toys when she came over a few weeks ago? Because you know, I go through and play with their stuff and then break it and blame it on ghosts.”

Mel’s face paled. “She took it out of context.”

“I’m not sure in what context she took it or was meant to,” he said. “But you should think twice because the kids tell me things. Like Tiffani didn’t want to wear a dress last weekend and you pushed it on her. Even Tyler said that because he was sick of waiting. That you wanted her to be the prettiest girl on my arm. Are you trying to put a wall up so that Tiffani is jealous of Sloane or Shiloh?”

“She’s upset you’re dating Sloane,” Mel said quietly. There was no reason for Mel to lower her voice. “She told me.”

“She told me she was upset too,” he said. “We talked. This was weeks ago. Since then I’ve asked her if she’s still upset and she says no. I’m not sure why she’s telling you something different than me.”

And he didn’t believe it was happening. His kids told him most things they were feeling or he managed to get it out of them.

He prided himself on his relationship with his kids.

“It’s the same thing they do to you,” she said. “They tell you they have issues with Ethan and not me.”

“No,” he said. “Don’t go there. The kids tell me things about Ethan and I tell you. They also tell me they tell you and you do nothing about it or don’t want to hear it.”

“Which is the same thing here,” she said, lifting her chin. “Tiffani told me she spent last weekend with Shiloh. That Shiloh spent the night and then stayed here while Sloane worked on Sunday. Don’t you think that is pushing things?”

“So she said she got to play with a friend and you’re concerned about that?” he asked. “Because so far you haven’t said anything negative about the two of them getting along. You know what happened the first time because I told you.”

He wanted Mel to know in case Tiffani talked to her mother about it. That things were fine now but that Tiffani got lectured for her poor manners and then apologized.

“I don’t think Tiffani likes spending time with Shiloh. It’s one thing if you want to date someone, but forcing the two kids together is a bit much.”

This was getting out of hand and he was going to lose his shit in a minute.

“Follow me,” he said.

“Where are you going?” Mel asked, following him.

“To ask the kids what you’re saying. I think it’s only fair to ask and see their response together so someone isn’t reading more into it.”

“You don’t need to do that,” Mel said.

Her voice was more rushed than normal.

“I think I do,” he said.

He hadn’t slowed his pace and Mel was on his heels and they stopped at the loft area where the kids were watching the same animation that Shiloh had picked out to watch last week. They hadn’t even heard him enter the room.

He picked up the remote and paused it.

“Hey, Dad,” Tyler said. “How come you did that?”

“I need to ask you both a question. Are either of you upset that I’m dating Sloane?”

“No,” Tyler said. “Can you turn it back on now?”

“Tiffani?” he asked.

“No,” Tiffani said. “I was at first because you haven’t before, but I like Sloane. She’s not trying to be my mother or anything like Ethan tries to be my father.”

“Oh really?” he asked, turning to look at Mel.

“That’s not true,” Mel said. “Ethan isn’t trying to be your father.”

“He’s always trying to tell us what to do,” Tyler said. “Sloane never does. She plays games with us and she cooks. She laughs. She’s fun. Ethan’s boring and doesn’t want us around. Now can we watch the movie?”

He held back his sigh. He was going to argue to give Ethan a chance and then told himself not to. His kids were entitled to their opinions.

“Tyler is right,” Tiffani said. “Ethan always tells us to go do something by ourselves. We’ve asked him to play with us or watch a movie when he’s around, but he ends up on his phone afterward or tells us to go do something else and be quiet. ”

“What about Shiloh?” he asked. “Do you feel as if you are being forced into liking her? Both or either of you?”

“No,” Tyler said. “I just don’t like she’s my age and taller than me, but that isn’t anything you can fix. Can you?”

He laughed. “No,” he said. “Sorry.

“I like her,” Tiffani said. “She’s nice. Quiet. She doesn’t like to play dress-up or house much, but she will do it if I ask. We take turns though. She likes to be outside more running around. But she doesn’t like video games either. And she picked this movie last week that we’d never seen and it’s really funny. We wanted to watch it again.”

He turned to look at Mel. “Satisfied?”

“Can we turn it back on now ?” Tyler whined.

“Yes,” he said. “Your mother and I are going back downstairs to finish this conversation.”

He turned and walked out knowing she’d follow.

“Are you happy that you embarrassed me?” Mel snapped at him. That tone she used when she didn’t want to yell but couldn’t hold it all in either.

“I didn’t embarrass you,” he argued. “I could have easily said things like your mother thinks this, or your mother is saying that. But I didn’t. Did you notice that? Did you notice that all I did was ask them a simple question in a nice calm voice? And did you see how easily they answered and how open they were? I didn’t once put the blame on you or let them think that we were fighting over this.”

Maybe he should have done that but didn’t want to make his children choose sides.

He was starting to think his ex had done that enough in their lives.

“You’re hurting me though,” she said. “I think you’re enjoying this. ”

He ran his hands through his hair when the tears popped into Mel’s eyes.

There was a time in his life when he’d do anything to get her to stop crying.

Now he knew it didn’t make a difference.

“Hurting,” he said. “Really? What about the hurt I felt when you wanted a divorce? You left me , Mel. Not the other way around.”

“I didn’t want to,” she said, sobbing.

This made no sense to him. “That’s not what you said. Trust me, I know. I remember it all. How unhappy you were. That it wasn’t what you thought it would be. I gave you everything you ever asked for and it wasn’t enough. And when you said you wanted a divorce, I gave you that. You know why? Because I wanted you to be happy and I obviously wasn’t man enough to do it for you. And now you’re going to put it back on my shoulders that giving you what you wanted wasn’t really what you wanted? Do you hear how this all sounds?”

Mel was crying harder now and he was damn close to putting his fist through a wall.

For a man with an abundance of patience, he didn’t have much of it now.

“I thought you’d fight harder to stay. Or that you wouldn’t want to leave me when I said I couldn’t do it anymore.”

“I fought for years, Mel. I was tired. I saw no winning for me or you. That’s the problem. I don’t even think you know what you want. You know what I really think? I think you just don’t want anyone else to have me because you couldn’t get what you wanted and think no one else should get it either.”

“No,” she said. “I’m not that petty. ”

“Sounds it to me,” he said. “Let me ask you this. Why am I the only one that calls you Mel? I’ve been asked this a few times. I don’t know the answer to that. But I do know the kids told me you snapped at Ethan not to call you that.”

Mel wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

She was still fragile and petite. At one point he loved that he could care for her.

Now he was happy he had a woman in his life who could care for herself.

That he could have a partner and not someone else dependent on him.

“You called me that on our first date. I liked the way it sounded. It was our thing. I just didn’t want anyone else to have it. I wanted it for us.”

Just like she didn’t want anyone else to want him.

“It’s a name,” he said. “And something you focused on when maybe we should have focused on other things. Mel, there was no hope for us. Neither of us was happy and I saw no way to get there. I gave you what you asked for. For years you’ve seemed happy. The kids too. Now all of a sudden I’m dating someone and you’ve changed.”

“So have you,” Mel argued.

“Yes,” he said. “No, that’s wrong. I haven’t changed. I’m finally able to be the person I always was and not worry anymore. That is the thing when you love someone. You don’t worry about those things anymore. I’m sorry you feel this way, but it’s something you’re going to have to work out. The kids are happy and that is my main concern.”

“You don’t care if I’m upset or happy?” she asked.

“I used to,” he said. “And we still ended up divorced. I can’t let it suck me in anymore. I care if you’re happy because it reflects on the kids. But I don’t care if you’re not happy that I’m dating a wonderful woman who treats the kids well. Someone who they like, as you just heard. And someone I love. No, I’m not sorry and I don’t care if you don’t like it. Maybe you should learn to live with the choices you made just as I have.”

Mel turned and walked out of the house after that, and as he’d said, he didn’t care that she was upset.

It needed to be said and they’d work it out the best way they could...for the kids.