31. Testing Things

31

TESTING THINGS

I t worked out well that Shiloh could get an appointment in his office to see him. First thing in the morning on top of it. She’d only go to school an hour late, if that.

Sloane had a few hours off this afternoon and he took half a day himself.

Dane needed to make sure his girlfriend was doing okay and it was hard to find that out when she was working or at home with Shiloh, or he had his kids.

She hadn’t balked when he’d asked if they could spend a little time together and that told him she might need the comfort as much as he did to see how she was getting along.

He walked into the exam room and saw Shiloh sitting on the table. Her hair was combed and shiny with ponytails on each side. She was wearing jeans and a red T-shirt and the sneakers they’d bought her last weekend.

Already the little girl’s color was better. He knew she was eating well because Sloane had told him she’d found Shiloh sneaking food and wasn’t sure how to deal with it.

“Hi, Shiloh. Do you remember me? ”

“Dane,” Shiloh said. “Sloane’s boyfriend.”

“Dr. Grey,” Sloane said. “That is what you’ve got to call him when you’re here.”

“Actually most of my patients call me Dr. Dane, but you can call me Dane.”

He’d make sure everyone knew who Sloane and Shiloh were when the appointment was over.

“This is my first,” Sloane said. “Not sure what you need from me or anything?”

“I’ve got Shiloh’s records.”

“Oh,” she said. “How come I didn’t know that?”

“I got them this morning. They were sent over after hours and I read them before I came in,” he said. “I would have called you, but I knew you were coming. There isn’t anything to be concerned about. She’s up to date on her immunizations and vaccines or she wouldn’t have been able to start school. I’m going to do a thorough exam and then we’ll go from there but nothing to worry about. Are you afraid of doctors?”

He was looking at Shiloh and she shook her head no. She was shy, but he expected it.

He asked more questions than over the weekend, he had her perform some simple actions to make sure her coordination was there, then he sent her with a nurse for an eye and ear test along with blood work.

“Is that all necessary?” she asked. “She looked scared.”

“I know,” he said. “And I know you want to be with her for the blood work, but I’ve learned that kids do better without a parent with them. Our nurses are great. She’ll be fine. But her records are bare. Maybe she never gets sick, but she only goes when she needs shots and half her shots were done recently to get ready for school. Don’t you want to know if there is anything going on we don’t know about or she wouldn’t even think to tell you?”

“Yeah,” Sloane said. “I guess. I don’t go to the doctor. I have a doctor but rarely see him. Half the time I put off my annual until they hound me. I do go to the gynecologist once a year so don’t lecture me too much.”

“I won’t,” he said. It wasn’t his place to do it. Especially the way she was brought up. “Are you going back to work today? I’ve got a half a day off.”

“You do?” she said. “How come?”

“Just some things to get done. Nothing major. Sometimes its easier to run those errands without the kids.”

“And you were with me this weekend so didn’t have time,” she said. “I’m sorry. As for work, I’m bringing Shiloh to school, then going in for three appointments this morning, then I’ll be done by noon. Two are facials and don’t take as long. I’ve got a meeting with the teacher and principal when I pick Shiloh up at three.”

“Would you like to spend a few hours together?” he asked. “Alone. I worry about you.”

She smiled at him. A forced one. “I think that would be nice. Maybe I need something else to take over my mind for a few hours. Everyone at work knows I’m coming and going.” She looked at her watch and grimaced.

“She’ll be done any minute,” he said. “You’ll get her to school and get to the spa when it opens. I made sure they knew that.”

“Thank you,” she said.

The door opened a minute later. Shiloh had a bandage on her arm from the blood work and a sticker on her shirt plus a lollipop in her hand.

“Look,” Shiloh said. “I love these.”

The bright smile on the little girl’s face almost broke his heart to see that kind of excitement over something so silly.

“I didn’t know that,” Sloane said. “I think we’ll have to get a bag of them at the house for a treat.”

Shiloh ran and hugged her big sister. He walked them out and said he’d be in touch with the results, then went to see his next patient.

Hours later he was knocking on her door.

She opened it fast and pulled him in by his shirt, her mouth landing on his.

“Whoa,” he said. “That isn’t why I wanted to spend a few hours with you.”

“It’s why I need to spend some time with you. Take my mind off of this. Please. I don’t even want to think. When I’m with you I don’t think and need to be there again.”

He wouldn’t argue with her. She’d had so much happen to her in a short period of time.

He picked her up and carried her to the couch. No reason to go up the stairs to her room. He didn’t think she was even going to let him go that far with the way she was yanking and pulling at his clothes.

His shirt was unbuttoned and spread open, his pants undone and yanked down.

He was trying to get them all off, but she shook her head no and just dropped her shorts and kicked them away with her underwear.

He grabbed a condom out of his wallet, covering himself fast, then gathered her in his arms, crushed her mouth with his and sank into her just as fast.

What they did was urgent, erotic, and something he’d never experienced before.

Not a need that was so great he couldn’t even stop to remove all his clothing.

One where the two of them were racing toward that bright light more than thinking he had to pace himself to get her there first.

He’d never been a selfish lover, but he wasn’t a wild one either.

Sloane just brought things out of him that he didn’t know were possible.

She was bucking up harder and faster into him than he was slamming into her.

Her couch was actually moving and making noises that had him fearing it might not hold up to what they were doing on it.

He grabbed her hands and threaded their fingers together and locked them over her head to trap her some. “Wrap your legs around my waist,” he said.

This way she’d slow down a bit. Or at least the range of motion would be less.

He was going to lose it faster than he wanted.

This was about getting her through and the last thing he needed to happen was to finish before her.

But she arched her back, started to let out a low moan, and he felt her coming a second later.

Everything let loose in his body and he lost control almost as if an animal was unleashed in the wild as he pumped everything he had in him into her, then collapsed on her a second later.

“That was soooo needed,” she said.

He laughed. “My body hurts. I’m covered in sweat and I’m sure my clothes are wrinkled.”

“Don’t be a wuss,” she said, dropping her legs and nudging him to the side so that he wasn’t squishing her.

“No wuss,” he said. “Damn, that was intense.”

“It was,” she said, sitting up and grabbing her clothes. “I guess I was testing things. ”

He stood up and walked to the half bath to take care of the condom while he wrapped his head around what she’d just said.

When he came out he had to know. “Testing what?” he asked. “Us?”

“The quickie theory,” she said. “I fear that is all we are going to get. Come sit. We need to talk.”

He hated the sound of that. It brought back too many memories of him failing at something he thought he was doing right.

“I’m not sure I like the tone of your voice, but since we just experienced what we did I’m going to think you aren’t cutting me loose.”

“No,” she said, putting her head on his shoulder. Not a move she’d done before either and he had some hope she was opening up more with him. “I’d never do that with sex. I just think we need to talk. My life is a mess. I joked I had more drama than you and now it’s really true. I don’t know that you signed up for this and wanted you to know that I’d understand if you needed time to figure it out.”

“Stop right there,” he said. “I’m not a wuss. I’m not so weak that I will leave when the going gets tough and I’m not sure where in your brain you think that.”

“I don’t,” she said. “And I know I insulted you and it wasn’t my intention.”

“You did insult me, but I’m not going to hold it against you. And I’m not going to walk away from you when you’re going through something hard. Do you think I would have let my sister take Tiffani to your spa to see you days ago if that was my intention?”

She just stared at him. “I guess I didn’t think that way. I’m all over the place right now.”

“Don’t be,” he said. He pulled her close and under his arm. His pants had been fastened, but his shirt was still unbuttoned and open and hanging out.

He’d never felt like a cocky person or lover before, but sitting like this and knowing she’d all but attacked him when the door opened fed his ego a big juicy steak.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“Don’t be sorry either,” he said. He wasn’t sure if this was the time to say what he was feeling but then wondered when would be the right time. “I wasn’t sure I could ever love another woman again. I wasn’t sure I had it in me or even wanted to.”

“You don’t need to tell me this,” she said.

“Does that mean you don’t want to hear it because you don’t feel the same way?” he asked. His heart was pounding more than it was minutes ago with what they were doing on her couch.

“It means I don’t want you to feel as if you have to tell me this to make me feel better.”

“Maybe I want to make myself feel better because I’m sick of holding it in. I’m not walking away from you, Sloane. I love you and I want to be there for you. I want to help you through this as much as I want you to help me through the next phase in my life. You’ve been doing it for a few months and I know even with everything going on in your life, just being with you will have it continue.”

Her eyes got a little teary. “I don’t know what might have been the right words if someone asked me, but it was them after I heard it. I’ve never been in love with anyone before. I often wonder if I even loved my mother the way I should have. Life was just...difficult and different. But what I feel for you is so intense. The man you are, the way you approach things in life. The changes you’ve made though I don’t notice them that much. Everything about you makes you such an easy man to love. I’m glad it’s me who gets to do it. I love you too, Dane.”

He hugged her tight and kissed her forehead. “And that is what you do when you love someone. You say all the right things even when you’re both feeling unsure. We’ll get through this together. We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about me if we go days without seeing each other. We already were. Shiloh knows about me. I’ve spent the night twice with her around. I can come here no problem when it works.”

But he wanted her to start staying at his house too. It wouldn’t be too much to have Shiloh stay in his spare room. He wouldn’t have her stay in Tiffani’s. That didn’t feel right to him even if his daughter had bunk beds. Both kids did so they could have friends stay over.

They weren’t even close to being there.

“That is probably how it will be for nights now,” she said. “I just need to put one foot in front of the other and get through this parent-teacher conference.”

“Do you want me to go with you? I can but am not sure you need me for anything more than moral support.”

“I’ll be fine. I’m sure I’ll be calling you later to find out if I should have asked or said anything.”

“Start out saying this is all new to you,” he said. “Be completely honest. It helps. They will be helpful and understanding. Say Shiloh comes first and you are setting up counseling for her at Duke.”

He’d sent the referral in already and it was being processed.

“I’m not used to being so open like that. Of showing any weaknesses.”

“It’s not a weakness to admit you don’t have it all together, Sloane. I’m finally learning that.”