Prologue

PROLOGUE

“ W e can’t do this any longer,” Mel said.

“Do what?” Dane Grey asked his wife.

“Our marriage,” Mel said.

He frowned. He’d been busting his ass for years in med school, then his residency and fellowship. He’d finally gotten hired as a pediatrician at Duke and life was going to settle in for his family.

The family he’d always dreamed of having, just not as fast as it had happened.

Being married during his residency wasn’t a big deal in his mind. But having kids was.

Mel had assured him she had this. She could do it on her own. Or at least shoulder more so he could focus on his training.

Tiffani was born first, and though he struggled to do it all and be there for his wife and daughter, he was proud of the way he maneuvered it.

His parents stepped in. His sister and Mel’s family too.

They had it covered no matter how little sleep he got or the stress that was mounting on his shoulders .

When Mel said she wanted a second child, he’d been stunned.

He wasn’t ready. He didn’t think she was.

Tiffani was walking and sleeping through the night. Life had calmed down and his wife admitted that, as hard as it’d been, it had gotten easier, just like he’d said. She didn’t want to wait a few more years to try, she wanted their kids closer together.

But that didn’t mean he was ready for baby number two. Or the stress that came with it.

Mel had other ideas and before he knew it, she was pregnant. In his eyes, they were still talking about it. She took matters into her own hands.

Having been adopted, his dream of a family was coming true and he was going to muscle through it as best as he could, knowing the light was at the end of the tunnel.

His family stepped up more. So did hers.

Mel had more help than most married couples did, allowing Dane to finish up and start working.

Six months in and, in his mind, things were on the right track the way they always talked about how their future would be.

“What are you talking about?” he asked. Tiffani was four; Tyler was two. Both kids had birthdays coming up soon and he was ready to celebrate with them.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she clarified.

“You can’t do our marriage anymore?” he asked. His heart was racing, his hands were sweaty and shaking and he saw everything he’d worked so hard for going down the drain.

He loved his wife, though she could be a little demanding and difficult. He tried to give her everything she wanted and needed, even at the expense of his own time, comfort, and stress levels.

Didn’t married couples do that? Try to be there for each other?

“No,” Mel said. Her eyes were filling with tears. She cried a lot over the past five years and every tear broke his heart more. He hated to see her upset.

“What did I do wrong?” he asked. “I know life has been crazy for years with my hours and the kids, but we got you help while you worked.”

He held back the comment on “more than most got.” His parents and sister all worked and yet they had the kids a lot on the weekends so that he and Mel could have some time alone. Or get some sleep. Anything he asked of his family, they were right there doing it no matter how much he hated making the call to ask them.

He felt he owed them a ton, but they’d never take it.

“It’s not you,” Mel said. “I mean, it’s more me. You’ve done everything I’ve asked for. Given it all to me.”

“Yet it’s still not enough?” he asked. Dane ran his hands through his hair. His sister, Chloe, told him this, but he’d never admit it.

Chloe had told him when Tiffani was born that he shouldn’t be wearing himself out because in the end it wasn’t going to matter, that it would never be enough for Mel

He hadn’t wanted to believe her. She was right.

He did everything he could and it hadn’t made one ounce of a difference.

“I had this vision in my head of our life. It’s not there.”

He snorted. He’d heard this more than once. It was what she saw and wanted and she didn’t always care to ask for his feedback or what he could possibly want .

Where did he go wrong? Did he just want a family so badly that he allowed himself to be stormed over?

Did he wonder if his biological parents gave him up because he was too hard to handle and the fact made him weigh all his decisions in life?

That’d be stupid for a smart guy.

Yet he was starting to believe that might have been the case.

“We were young,” Mel said. “Or I was. I had rainbows in my eyes and now there are clouds. I’m sorry. I love you, but I can’t live like this.”

“Like what?” he asked desperately. This wasn’t about his marriage as much as holding his family together now. “If you love someone enough you make it work.”

Failure had never been an option in his eyes. He never wanted that.

“I know you’re working less, but it’s still more than I hoped for. You’re on call all the time and work weekends and nights. You go in early and come home late. We can’t plan for anything as a family it seems. Not even family dinners work out right. I’ve got the kids by myself all the time when I get out of work. Sometimes I’m tired and need a break or a soak in the tub and I can’t get that if I’m alone.”

His eyes went wide. “This is because you wanted to take a bath last night but Tyler was cranky and wouldn’t go to bed on time?”

He’d gotten home at eight. He’d been on call, finished his appointments at the office, then did his rounds in the hospital. He got held up like it happens when talking to some parents. Easing their worries. Doing the job he was paid well for and that provided the life his wife always envisioned.

He cared about his work. The kids he saw.

It was why he loved his job so much.

When he walked in the door last night, Tyler was crying. He was overtired and didn’t want to go to bed. Mel was sitting on the couch looking like she’d been run through the washer and hung out to dry in the middle of a storm. Tiffani was sleeping already.

Tyler came running over to him in his pajamas, his nose running. He’d picked his son up, said some soft soothing words to him, rubbed his back and the kid was out on his shoulder in five minutes snoring softly.

He’d told Mel that was all it took and she knew that, but she’d admitted that she didn’t want to rock their son. She just wanted him to go to bed so she could read her book in the tub and if he’d been home on time, he could have done that for her.

Like always, he didn’t lose his patience, but put Tyler to bed and told her to take her bath then.

Nope, she said it was too late and turned the TV on and sat there and stewed.

He expected a fight, but he got nothing.

What he didn’t expect was his wife to send his kids to her parents when he had the night off and then hit him with this when he walked in the door.

“It’s not just last night,” Mel argued. “It’s all the time. I thought once you started to work it’d get better.”

“It is,” he said. “I’m not working nearly as much as when I was in my residency and you know it.”

“I know!” Mel yelled. “But I just thought maybe it’d be more like eight to five. That we’d have dinner together and the kids in bed at seven and you and I would have the rest of the night to ourselves.”

“Two weeks a month that is close to the case,” he said. “It won’t be much longer. ”

He was home close to six, by the time he got out of the office. When he wasn’t on call, the nights were theirs. But two weeks a month, he didn’t get that luxury because they were down a doctor right now. Once Dr. Johnson was back from her medical leave, he’d do it once a month.

He’d told Mel that.

“I’m sorry,” Mel said. “I just can’t do this up and down anymore. It’s not going to change. I thought I could accept it and realized I can’t do it.”

“So that’s it?” he asked. “You want to divorce?” This didn’t seem to be happening right now.

He wanted things to be very clear. He wasn’t going to assume a damn thing.

“I think it’s for the best,” she said. “At least to split and see how it works. I talked to my parents. I’m going to move in with them. You can stay in the house.”

He didn’t give a shit about those things. “The kids,” he said. “I’m not giving up my kids.”

“I know,” Mel said, sighing. “I think you care about them more than me.”

His jaw dropped. It was another fight they’d had. When he was home he paid more attention to them than her.

He thought she’d appreciate having the break and it just went to show how much of a contradiction his wife’s words were.

“They are children,” he said. “My children. I love them and I miss them as much as I miss you when I’m gone. Spending time with them is what a parent does. Not to mention giving you a break.”

“I’m not arguing any of that,” Mel said. “I’m just stating how I feel.”

“And you don’t care how I feel?” he asked. He blinked his eyes a few times. They weren’t wet like he’d thought they’d be. His hands weren’t shaking anymore and his palms weren’t sweaty.

If anything, he was just numb.

“I’m sorry to say this. It’s not going to make a difference what you’re feeling. I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to my parents tonight and staying there with the kids to give you time to process this. We can figure out the rest this weekend.”

“Seems to me like you’ve got it all planned out already,” he said. “What does it matter what I say?”

He turned and walked away from her, grabbed his keys that he’d tossed on the table not more than twenty minutes ago when she’d hit him with this as he’d walked in the door.

He needed to get drunk, but he knew he’d never do that.

Instead he went to talk to his family. They’d be upset and pissed, but they’d understand and be there for him.

He’d need them now more than ever as he tried to pick up the pieces of his life that he’d finally thought were glued together strong.