Chapter 19

Tori Townsend

As I walk into my little store, I contemplate all things that are Killian Savage. He wasn't wrong about yesterday. After meeting with Derek, I had gone to work with cum making my thighs stick together, but after that? When I got home? I hadn't seen him, and I'd been so exhausted from the night before that I fell asleep before the notification came of my cameras picking him up on his return to the B&B.

I sigh deeply when I breathe in the shop's familiar and comforting smells. I hadn't seen him this morning either. Minus the camera. I neither confirm nor deny that I may have watched him leave. I may have been making a small breakfast as I caught up on paperwork for both businesses when my camera dinged his departure. I have no idea where he goes during the day, but I don't blame him for wanting to leave the little house that he's bunking in. There isn't a TV or radio. It's designed for tourists who never stay long between those four walls. Who goes on vacation and stays only in the place they're renting? No one, and certainly not Killian.

Maybe he goes for a hike? Maybe he just walks around? Either way, I try not to make it my business even though that's hard.

Instead, I paste on a smile as Tegan looks up from behind the counter and grins at my arrival. It's early evening, and her and Josiah's shift is over. I'll be closing up the shop today, a rare night shift. I love this shop, I truly do, but I don't like having my nights taken from me. But really? What else am I going to do? I'll just be working from home. I might as well have a desk to sit at while I do it.

"Hey," I greet, and the sound of my voice makes Josiah's head pop around a triangle display case.

His eyes basically sparkle when they land on mine, and just to appease his puppy-dog love, I pat him on the shoulder as I pass by.

"You're earlier than I expected," Tegan responds, turning her gaze toward her wristwatch.

"I got a little bored at home." I head toward the back of the shop and open my office door. Tegan follows close behind as I flick on the lights, illuminating my messy space. I stand there for a moment, taking in the disaster across my desk, and slump my shoulders as I make my way to it.

"What's wrong with you?" she whispers. "You seem super down."

"It's just this mess. I should do something about it tonight."

I drop my purse on top of a pile of crap and stare down at the hours of work I have ahead of me strewn across the surface of my desk.

She approaches. "I feel like it's more than that."

Twisting my lips from side to side, I contemplate whether I'm even going to respond to that. Choosing to because I don't keep anything from Tegan, I look up and meet her stare. "My life is just as much of a mess."

A sympathetic look relaxes the lines across her forehead. "I know. You have a lot going on with, you know . . . that woman and then your two businesses."

I wave a hand in the air as if I'm batting at an invisible fly and then shrug.

She scowls. "Is there more?"

I nibble the inside of my cheek. I could easily deny it, but sometimes Tegan has great advice, and I could really use some. "Killian."

Her scowl deepens. "What about him?"

My cheeks heat, and I swear to shit that, if color is rising in them, I'll disown my own body. "I slept with him again."

The scowl is wiped from her face, and she blinks at me owlishly. "You never do that," she breathes. "One guy? Twice? What . . . Oh my god, you – you like him."

I look down at my desk because the truth behind her words, the realization in her eyes, gives me butterflies in the pit of my gut. I haven't decided if I like those butterflies yet.

I open my mouth for the usual denial, but her finger pointing at me cuts me off. "Don't even try it. You never sleep with a guy twice, Tori. I believe your very words were, ‘It makes things messy.'"

"That's because it does," I grumble. I grab my fingers and twist them around, suddenly taken over with a nervous energy because my current life is just evidence that it does.

She crosses her arms over her chest and shifts her weight so her hip pops in a sassy way. Her shirt is a little tighter today, and I can see a slight baby bump poking out from underneath. "I don't get what the problem is. "

I narrow my eyes at her. "I don't want what I'm doing to mean anything."

Her smile is small. "But you and I both know that it does."

"How do I stop it?" I groan out with a sag of my shoulders.

"Why do you want to stop it?"

I pinch the bridge of my nose as I try to figure out how to word it so that she understands. "I don't trust men. They've always let me down. First, my step-father and the way he treated me as if I wasn't his daughter and I was a house pet. Then my asshole ex." I drop my hand back to my side. "I can feel myself getting clingy toward Killian. Greedy even. And I know in the end that it'll only leave me more scarred than I already am."

"And why is that?"

"Because he's going to leave." I throw my hands in the air and slap them at my sides, a display of how obvious my statement was.

"Well, if it helps, Cole doesn't like him."

I chuckle without any humor. "Not helpful at all. Cole doesn't like anyone."

She considers me carefully. "Why do you think so far into the future? Why can't you just enjoy something that is in the now?"

"I'm in the business of business. I've trained myself to look into the future. That's not a habit I can just break."

"You know what I think?" she asks, and I shake my head as I stride past her to walk back out into the shop. Josiah is still here. He doesn't look our way as he finishes up dusting. "I think your accident and that woman's life ending put a different perspective on life for you. Like, how no one claimed that woman and how you're drawing a parallel that that could possibly happen to you. "

I step behind the counter and turn to face her. "Maybe," I say while nibbling on the corner of my lips.

She grabs a stray hair that's resting against my cheek and tucks it behind my ear. "I think that scares you, and you're clinging to someone that you could feel like they'd protect you. It's perfectly natural."

I shrug. "And I just really like him. He's different. Puzzling." I run a hand across my cheek. "I don't even know what I'm talking about."

She grins. "It's okay to like him."

"Yeah," I sigh out. I give myself a little shake. "Let's talk about something else. Did the mail come?"

"Yeah," Josiah says from across the store. I hadn't been aware that he'd been listening, but Tegan and I turn to face him anyway. "It's under the register."

"Thanks," I say, and he goes back to dusting as if he hadn't been eavesdropping at all.

I grab the mail and start leafing through it when the shop's door opens and lets in a cold, rainy breeze. "Speak of the devil," Tegan whispers next to me.

"Huh?" I ask, tipping my head up from the mail to look at her. She's staring at the door, so I turn to look with her. Killian stands there, taking in the store and the trinkets and books it offers. "Shit," I add under my breath.

Once his eyes land on me, he strides in my direction.

I hear Tegan giggle quietly before she blurts, "I'm going to go now."

"Asshole," I mutter back to her.

All she does is wink, grab her purse from under the counter, and slide past Killian on her way out. He watches her go, and I look around nervously, spotting Josiah moving closer to where Killian and I now stand, the counter separating us.

Raindrops cover his leather jacket and dampen his hair, but it only makes him look sexier. It also only makes me want him more. "What are you doing here?" I ask after I get my wits about me. I hadn't expected to see him so soon, not after the conversation Tegan and I just had, and certainly not at my shop. "How did you even get here?"

He turns his attention back to me. "I walked."

I frown. "Really?"

A small grin plays at the edge of his lips. "No. I was at Derek's store, and he offered me a ride. Something about going to the hardware store."

"Right," I say.

"Did you get that part for the car?"

I suck in a quick breath and press a hand to my forehead. "Oh my god, I had completely forgotten."

He shrugs a little. "I'll pick it up."

"You don't have to do that."

He shrugs again. "It's not a problem."

I sweep his expression and find nothing but sincerity, so I say, "Thank you. Is the car part the only reason you wanted to come here?"

His jaw flexes a little, but his eyes are soft. I can tell he doesn't want to admit it when he says, "No."

I tuck my lips between my teeth to hide my smile and the butterflies that are slamming against the lining of my stomach. Maybe I do like them after all. "No? Did you come to see me?"

"I came to see the shop." He gazes around for a moment again, briefly lingering on Josiah.

I chuff. "You came to see me. Admit it."

His eyes don't return to mine, but a smile does peek through his hidden expressions.

Josiah shifts a little, and my gaze moves to him for a split second. He's watching the interaction, listening to every word as his duster is poised to dust a shelf he's probably already gotten to. His eyes are a little wide, fearful if I had to guess, but then again, it's not every day you see a man like Killian striding through this area.

Killian picks up a trinket, drawing my attention back to him as he examines the sharp angles of the miniature statue. "Is Derek giving you a ride home? I mean, I can, but it'll be a couple of hours."

He places the statue back on the counter, and his gaze pierces mine. My heart skips a beat because I swear to god he can see within my soul. There's no way he doesn't see that I'm greedy for him – just like I confessed to Tegan.

"Sure," he answers.

"What are you going to do after you get the part?"

"Walk around town."

I chuckle a little. "Walking must be your favorite thing."

"Gives me time to think."

"That's a lot of thinking," I say with raised eyebrows.

He only raps his knuckles against the counter and starts backing his way toward the shop's door. "See you in a few hours."

I nod, almost too eagerly, and he smirks a little as he pushes open the door with his back and steps outside. I watch him through the windows as he heads down the sidewalk toward the hardware store and release a pent of breath before turning my attention to Josiah.

"I can do the rest of the dusting if you want to go?" I ask him.

His eyes are solely on the spot where Killian disappeared, so I snap my fingers to gain his focus. "You okay?" I ask as he turns to face me. His face is a little white.

"Yeah," he says, his voice cracking a little. He lowers the duster back to his side.

My frown pulls my eyebrows together. "Do you know Killian?" Because, by the way he's reacting, it's as if Killian killed his cat.

He shakes his head. "No, but I recognize his type."

I pinch my lips together, feeling a bit defensive for Killian. "Never judge someone you don't know, Josiah."

I watch as he swallows thickly, but he nods anyway. He heads to the counter and sets the duster down. I pluck his wallet from underneath and pass it to him. "Thanks for coming in today." My tone is a little grumpy, but I don't like how he talked about someone he doesn't even know. "Do you have an umbrella?"

He shakes his head as he slides his wallet into his back pocket. "I have a raincoat in my car though."

"Good. See you tomorrow?"

He nods as he heads toward the door, and the moment I'm alone, I place my elbows against the counter's surface and sag my weight into it. I almost wish walks worked for me, too. My head is so full, and I have absolutely no idea how to compartmentalize or process it.