Chapter 13

Tori Townsend

"I get the feeling you don't like birthdays very much," I say to Josiah with my lips thinned. He is just about done with his shift, Tegan having just arrived to replace him, but he's helping her restock. We've told him Happy Birthday twice now, and he doesn't seem too thrilled about this milestone age. Tegan even brought him a homemade cake, and he mumbled his, "Thank you."

"Yeah, kid. You're a man now," Tegan claims, dropping the small box she was carrying and giving him a little shake on the shoulders.

He grins, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Age doesn't make you a man," he explains.

I cock my head to the side while grabbing another empty box and preparing to set it by the back door to be taken out. "Then what makes a person a man if it's not age? "

He glances at me with a true smile and sparkling eyes. "How they deal with the biggest change in their life."

Tegan cocks her head to the side too, pausing in ripping open the box. "And that is?"

He shrugs a little and sets a book on the shelf for display. "It could be many things, but I believe the truth is told when they have a child. A lot of men aren't really men until they step up to the plate as a father."

I scowl because, though he's not right, he's also not wrong. It makes me wonder if he's observing this from his father's behavior, whether that be a good thing or a bad thing. Or it could simply be an observation of the world. "Fair point," I eventually say, taking the empty box from before his feet and bringing it to the back as well. I check the clock on the way back. "Anyway, you should get going. Your shift is well over."

He nods, sets another book on the shelf, and then dusts his hands together. I don't miss the puppy-dog eyes when he turns in my direction and meets my gaze. "See you tomorrow?"

"Sure, kid." Satisfied, he strides to the door and walks out gracefully. I watch through the windows as he moves down the sidewalk to wherever he parked his car today. When he's gone, I turn to Tegan. "He's an odd one."

She holds up a finger. "But he's hard-working."

"True."

"It also helps that I'm eighty percent sure his crush on you is his biggest motivator."

I roll my eyes and grab the now-empty box in front of her. "Do you believe what he said? About a man being a man when he steps up to the plate when he has a child?"

"I mean . . ." I turn to face her and see an expression on her face that I don't normally see. Guilt. Uncertainty. "Yeah," she adds .

I narrow my eyes. "I see Cole as a man, and he doesn't have a child." Hell, even Killian is a man. I fully believe that whatever past he had made him into one – to know what he wants, to be the sort of personality he is. He's seen things, things that took him from a boy into a man. I have no doubt in my mind.

She grabs her fingers and starts to twist them. "About that-"

I tense. "Don't tell me Cole has a baby somewhere."

Slowly, she meets my gaze. "Not yet, no."

I scowl again. "What do you mean?" My eyes widen. "Did he cheat on you? Oh my god, he got her pregnant. I'm going to kill him!" I make to move to the door to do just that, but her next words stop me.

"It's me. I'm the pregnant one, Tori," she sighs out.

I freeze and whip back to face her. Her hands are covering her lower abdomen, and a growing smile crosses her face. "Holy shit," I whisper as excitement starts to bubble up inside me. "You're pregnant?"

She nods.

Squealing, I head to her and wrap her in a hug. "This is so great!" I bounce her a little, and she laughs into my ear. When I pull away, I ask, "How far along are you?"

"I just finished the first trimester."

I look down at her stomach and see a slight bulge. My own feelings of guilt punch me in the gut. "How did I not notice?"

"Well," she begins, chuckling a little. "We have been eating a lot of donuts."

Her words do nothing to sway my guilt. "I should have noticed something like this."

She only shrugs. "You've had a lot going on. Between your two businesses and, you know . . . the accident, it's a wonder you haven't broken down yet. "

I dutifully ignore the accident part because, if I let it register with me, I'll see that woman's eyes again. Instead, I shake myself a little, almost like a shiver, and shove all my feelings aside because this is her moment. Not mine. "Do you know what you're having yet?"

"No, we won't know that for a while, but I don't think we want to find out. I do, however, know who the godmother is."

She stares at me long and hard, and then it hits me. I point to myself and ask, "Me?" A little bit of panic rings in my voice.

She blinks at me hard and groans. "I know you don't want kids and that they terrify you. And I know that if Cole and I die, that means you're the caretaker of the kid, but the chances of that happening are so slim they shouldn't even be on your radar."

A sliver of relief fills me. Not wanting kids is an understatement. I'll never change my mind on that. While I get that some people can't live without the idea of having a growing family, that's never been something I've ever wanted. Kids scare me. Being a mother scares me. Being responsible for anyone but myself scares me. I've always been this way, and I like the life I have now, even if it does get a little lonely.

"So what do I do then? As a Godmother?"

She shrugs, but I can tell that she's relieved that I didn't go into full-blown panic on her. "Spoil them."

I place my hands on my hips. "Like candy and gifts and such?"

"Exactly." She picks up the last box, opens it, and places the crystals on the shelf. When she's finished, she hands it to me. She looks at me thoughtfully as I take it from her. "I know you don't want a family, but have you thought about a husband? "

I shake my head and back up a step. "No husband. Maybe a life partner, but there's no way I'm signing a legal document tying me to someone else for the rest of my life."

A sly smile takes over her face. "Not even someone like Killian?" I blush and glance away, and this only causes her to laugh. "I knew it. What's going on between you and your tenant?"

I turn my attention to my shoes and cringe. "We, uh . . . we had sex."

She doesn't say anything for a moment, so I look up and watch as she blinks dumbfoundedly. "I wasn't aware you guys were even on full talking terms, let alone ‘under the sheets' terms."

"It just kind of happened."

"Which part? The sex or the friendly part?"

I cringe again. "Both."

She shakes her head like she just can't believe me, but she should have known better. I am who I am. Dick is an essential food group of mine. "Well, how was it?"

I wet my bottom lip as I think back to last night. He hung around for a good hour, asking me about my life, before he left and went back to the B Cole likes to choke me; you like cock; he likes pain. We all have our things."

I chuckle at that because she's not wrong.

"What about Pierce?" She whispered his name like it was a secret.

"What about him?"

"You know . . ."

I chuff when I understand her question. "I'm not his property, and he has no claim to me. He can think whatever he wants."

"If you say so," she sing-songs. "But I guarantee you, if he finds out about you and Killian, he'll get territorial."

She's not wrong about that either. I honestly don't know what I can do to get the guy to realize that there is absolutely nothing between the two of us and there will never be.

My alarm goes off on my phone, and I move the box to the other hand to grab it out of my back pocket. "I have to go. Derek is meeting me downtown."

"Okay." She places her hands on her hips and blows her hair out of her face. "Do you want me to take out the boxes?"

I shake my head. No way am I having a pregnant chick do manual labor. If I had known sooner, she wouldn't have been picking up any boxes today. "There's only a couple. I just take them out real quick."

She nods, and I head to the back of the shop, awkwardly gather the boxes in my arms, and use my foot to kick open the back door. Once outside, I sigh when sprinkles peck my cheeks because I don't know how much more rain I can handle.

I travel down the alley, lost in thought about the one and only Killian Savage and how I'm just now noticing that he didn't offer up anything about himself last night, that I almost missed the sensation. That tingly awareness. That prickle on the back of the neck. The one that tells me that I'm being watched.

Slowing my steps feet from the dumpster, I carefully swivel around with my boxes. All I see is an empty entrance. No one is there, but the feeling doesn't go away. "Calm down, Tori," I murmur to myself, walking backward the rest of the way to the dumpster.

Tires squeal at the opposite end of the alley, causing me to jump and the boxes to fly from my hands. I whip back around, but the car is gone before I can get a glimpse of it.

Heart in my throat, I quickly throw away the boxes and dash my way back inside.

I step out of the empty downtown building and suck in fresh air. Even though it's raining, it's a far better smell than the dust and mildew stench from inside. It didn't take long for Derek to say he'd buy it, however, despite the state of the interior. Lord knows what he plans to do with this place, but whatever it is, it'll probably be a need of the community and therefore popular like all of his other businesses.

No doubt, Cole will be the one to fix this place up.

Stepping to my right, I yank the red ‘For Sale' sign off of the window, and as I crumple it up in my hands, I look around at my surroundings, still shaken from the alleyway. The whole way back to Fairview, I glanced in my mirror, but I was never followed. I was alone on the road for the most part, and yet, I still couldn't shake the feeling that someone had been watching me.

Now, as I look around, people pay me no attention. It's enough to satisfy my need for safety, and as I go to throw the sign in the nearby city trash, I pause. Walking around the corner is a couple, and they're both wearing orange raincoats. My blood quickens in my veins, and I work hard to keep my breathing even as the memories of that night surface.

The door to the building opens, and Derek steps outside with a little cough and picks up the umbrella he left by the doorway. "Dusty," he explains as he clears his throat.

"Huh?" I answer as I watch the couple walk past us.

He comes to stand beside me, eyeing me with curiosity before following my line of sight. "Know them?"

I shake my head. "No. But the coats…"

"Ah yes," he says with a prideful puff of his chest. He opens his umbrella and holds it over his head. My wet hair and I glare at it as he adds, "They're selling well. I'll have to order more if this rain continues."

"Well, you sold a coat to someone who was kidnapping or something."

He turns a frown in my direction. "So I've been told. I can't help who buys from me."

Wet hair clings to my face, so I shove it away irritably with the dire desire to snap at him for purchasing so many that everyone now has one. They're practically a fashion movement. "I know," I all but spit.

He studies me for a moment. "How are you holding up?"

"I wish everyone would stop asking me that," I grumble under my breath .

"You have a lot of people who care about you, Tori."

I blow out an exhale. "Yeah, I know."

"Are you at least talking to someone about it?"

"Yeah, I have someone." More like fucking him, but that's beside the point. He listened to me, didn't give me an overwhelming amount of sympathy, and instead, gave me exactly what I needed. On some level, I knew he understood. It was written all over his face on the bench by the lilies.

Derek opens his mouth to say something else, probably some advice from the heart, but I step away from him and point to the sky and the rain that pelts us. "I should go."

"Right," he whispers, his face pinched in confusion. "Call me when you complete the paperwork?"

I nod, say my farewell, and dash to my borrowed car. Once I get inside, I rest my forehead against the steering wheel and work to calm the memories that threaten to choke me.