Chapter 38

The way the doors burst open makes me jump out of my skin, even though I'm fully expecting it. Mabon, Dyfri, and four guards stroll into my sitting room. The little procession stops just in front of me.

Mabon lifts up his chin imperiously. "Human. I wish to know about human things! You shall be my guide!"

I stare at him. He is standing strangely, and his hands are on his hips. There is a slightly frantic look in his purple eyes. All in all, he looks incredibly awkward.

"Wow. You really are a terrible actor," I say.

"I know!" says Mabon with a huge, delighted grin. "I told you so!"

His entire body language changes as he relaxes and turns back into the Mabon I know and love. I shake my head in dismay and glance at Dyfri, who gives me a long-suffering look. It is such a brotherly expression that it makes me smile. Fey are clearly capable of emotions, as well as friendships and bonds. There is hope for them yet.

"Are we leaving, or standing around all day?" snaps Dyfri.

"Leaving!" I reply with surprising cheer.

Apparently, I'm looking forward to getting out of the palace for a while. Despite all the danger of our thinly veiled subterfuge.

Mabon turns and leads the way. We make it all the way out onto the city streets without seeing anyone, save for a handful of servants. It feels almost too good to be true, but that is why we chose midmorning. Most of court is still sleeping. And magic is diluted in the daytime, so anything set to spy on me will be far weaker.

None of this is infallible. And Mabon's ruse to get me out of the palace is thinner than tissue paper. But it is better than nothing and nobody can officially complain as technically, no rules are being broken. Nobody is helping me. I'm simply acting as Mabon's guide.

I take a deep breath of clean air. Everything is going to be fine. The sun is shining. The sky is blue. The weather has decided it is spring today, and it is wonderful to be outside.

"I love your hair," purrs Mabon.

My hand lifts up and runs over my new plaits, and my heart does a funny little skip. "Thanks!" I beam.

"So if you win…" starts Mabon before breaking off with an, "Ow!" He rubs his ear and glares at his brother before starting again. "When you win, are you going to make Iestyn a rhocyn?"

"Hell no!" I gasp in horror.

Beside me, Dyfri flinches ever so slightly. Oh shit, I didn't mean to imply that I think rhocyns are awful and disgusting creatures.

"I mean, he deserves it," I splutter in a futile attempt to backtrack, but why am I talking nonsense? My heart sinks and I sigh. "No," I say, trying again. "Scrub that. Absolutely nobody deserves that. Not even Iestyn. What I actually mean is, I'm not a rapist."

Mabon turns to me, his amethyst eyes bright with curiosity. "What's a rapist?"

"Someone who…Nevermind." There is no point trying to explain the concept of consent to any fey, especially Mabon.

"No! I want to know!" he insists.

I sigh and admire the new fresh spring leaves gently curling on this row of trees that we are passing. Maybe they can give me some strength.

"I don't hurt people. I'm not like Iestyn," I say softly.

A sombre silence falls. I think I may have actually done it. Mabon and Dyfri are certainly pondering my words carefully. The guards following a few paces behind us, are either doing a brilliant job at not listening into our conversation, or they have been enchanted to not be able to hear us. Either way, I'm pretty sure only Mabon and Dyfri heard what I just said.

Which is bloody lucky, because damn it! I might have just said far too much.

"Hurt people, like he did to Ninian and the tylwyth!" I blurt as a blind panic takes hold.

The brothers nod thoughtfully and I hide my sigh of relief. Rhydian has entrusted me with a secret that could destroy his life, and sometimes I really don't feel up to the task.

Luckily, the Tesco Express I scoped out on Google Maps has come into view and should provide an excellent distraction.

"Here we are!" I say, far too brightly.

The fey princes stare at the shopfront. Mabon wrinkles his nose.

"What is it?" he asks.

"It is a place where humans go to buy food and drink, like a market." Fey have markets, don't they? Or they should at least know about them from the last time they were on Earth.

And just like that, I suddenly realise something. "I need money!"

"What is money?" asks Mabon, wide eyed with curiosity.

"Um…small metal or paper tokens that you exchange for things that you want?" I try.

My heart continues to sink as I watch their blank faces. This could be more of a royalty thing than a fey thing, but that doesn't help me at all.

"If there are things in there that you want, we will go in and take them," says Dyfri as he crosses his arms over his chest.

"Fine," I sigh wearily.

We step inside, and humans flee. In no time at all, we have the fairly large shop to ourselves. The princes examine all the items on the shelves with great interest, even though Dyfri is pretending to be slightly bored. The guards walk behind us, stoically. Acting as if they have been into a human grocery store a thousand times before.

Mabon rattles off a thousand and one questions, and it is a good thing I grabbed a trolley out of habit, because it soon gets filled with an eclectic array of items. Which is good, I suppose. As it will be cover for what we really came here for.

Nevertheless, it is a relief to finally find the aisle with the salt. As we reach the right shelf, a strange silence falls. I look back at my friends. They are frozen, motionless, with their too wide eyes fixed on the floor, even the guards.

I look down. Shit. Some salt has spilt. Hastily, I brush it under the shelving unit with the edge of my shoe. But there are still some tiny grains. Damn It!

Think Jamie, think! Before the shop staff figure out what is going on and learn how to fight fey. I haven't had time yet to ponder if a bloody and dangerous uprising is in anyone's best interest.

My hands fly to the fastening of my outer layer of robes. I untie it and spread the silk on the floor, covering the salt. I can only pray that it looks like I'm covering the mess so the princes' dainty little feet don't have to step in it.

The fey all blink, shake their heads and come back to life.

"Are you okay? What did it do to you?" I ask as my heart hammers away and my arms tremble.

Dyfri scowls at the floor as if personally offended. "It's like a human being punched in the face. Something about it short circuits our minds."

"I got to one thousand, five hundred and sixty-eight before you covered it," says Mabon, almost proudly.

I stare at him. "You counted the grains?"

He shrugs. "I had to."

I shudder. Then I quickly drop a tightly sealed bag of salt into the trolley and hurry everyone down the aisle. At least I know it works.

Suddenly, Mabon gasps and wanders off towards the security guard standing by the checkouts.

"Oh! it is so handsome!" drawls Mabon.

The security guard looks terrified.

"I'm going to ride your cock," says Mabon.

The security guard turns bright red. He is not a patch on Rhydian, but he is a good-looking chap who clearly loves the gym. I can see Mabon's attraction.

"Mabon! Leave him alone!" I say.

The lilac haired prince turns to me. "Why?"

"Because we don't have time," I try, because I don't think any other explanation is going to work.

Mabon sighs heavily. "Fine. Guards, take him to my rooms for later."

The guards step forward, the human steps back. Sweat beading his brow.

"Rhydian said you couldn't have a pet yet!" I squeak.

Mabon's eyes narrow and then he pouts. He waves a hand airily at the guards, who immediately back down.

"I've definitely earned one now," he grumbles.

Oh my god, that was so close. I shoot the poor security guard an apologetic look and then herd the fey to the checkout. The manager himself is standing by the tills, twisting his hands.

I look up at him and then down at my brimming trolley. "I…er…I'm really sorry, but we don't have any money."

The manager stutters for a moment before finding his voice. "That's absolutely fine. It is our honour to serve the fey."

"Thank you," I say, and I'm pretty sure I'm blushing.

This is so awkward. I'm just going to take the whole trolley and get out of here. I can't stand the thought of hanging around to pack. Stealing a trolley after stealing all of this stuff, hardly seems like a big deal at all.

As soon as we make it outside, I suck in a big breath of fresh air.

"That was fun!" beams Mabon. "Where next?"

I groan. "A cookware shop."

Mabon claps his hands together in glee. "Oh goody!" he says, even though I'm fairly certain he has no idea what a cookware shop is.

It's going to be a long day.