30. Miles

I'm out of breath by the time I've run up all the stairs. I don't know what I was expecting from Olivia's apartment block, but I don't think it was this. It's a nice enough place, but it's by no means good enough for her. She deserves the whole world.

I wonder if they've told her that I'm coming back yet? The press release isn't happening until next week, but I wanted to move sooner. The idea of getting back out of Croydon was irresistible.

I wonder if she cares?

Panting, I stand outside her door. God, what if she thinks I'm a creeper for knowing where she lives? Because I'm pretty sure she never actually told me her address. But Tim gave me the information freely, even if, technically, he probably shouldn't have done. It definitely seems like a breach of employee privacy.

But I can't worry about it anymore because I'm here now. I pace in front of her door, taking heavy footsteps. What if she doesn't even want to see me? What if I'm wasting my time? And what if coming back to America was a huge mistake? Do I tell her that I came back for her? Because I like the Macaws — but I love her.

As great as the guys are, I don't think the team alone would be enough to make me want to come back for good.

I should just knock. I have to say my piece. If I wuss out of this, what's the point of anything?

I stop outside the door, planting my feet. I take a deep breath and raise my fist, then lower it again before I can do anything. I don't know what to say to her. What if this isn't even her house? I'm sure a stranger wouldn't want to see me here. I should go.

And then the door opens, and I let out a completely undignified scream.

Olivia shrieks back at me, making us both jump again. "What's up?" I say weakly.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she says, her mouth dropping open in shock.

"I"m back?" It's a ridiculous thing to say, so I decide to make myself look even stupider and add, "Forever."

The look of horror on her face doesn't ease, so I start babbling. "The Macaws want me full-time, so I said yeah, why not? I thought it sounded like a great idea because then I'd be able to see you again. Not that that's the only reason, obviously. Like, you're great — but the team is too. But you were part of it. If you want to be, I mean, because obviously relationships are for losers, and I'm not saying I'd want that with you. Well, unless?—"

"I"m pregnant," she blurts out, stopping me dead in my tracks.

"Huh?" is all I can say.

She takes a shaky breath and closes her eyes. "I"m pregnant," she repeats.

So my ears weren't deceiving me. My heart in my mouth, I ask her, "Who"s the father?"

She bites her lip and doesn't say anything. Our eyes meet, locking together like we're in a showdown. I point hesitantly to myself, and she nods, letting out a watery laugh, her eyes brimming with tears. "I sure hope you just meant what you said about coming back for me. Because you're gonna be a daddy."

"I'm going to be a what?" I say so loudly that the neighbors must hear. I don't care about that, though. I feel like I've been hit by a train. The train is carrying good news, but the shock is still that big.

"It's yours," she says again. "It's your baby."

"I don't know what to say," I whisper. Then I shake my head, feeling stupid again.

"Are you upset?" she asks nervously, a single tear running down her face.

I cup her cheek in my hand and brush the tear away with my thumb. "Are you kidding me? I'm over the moon. I love you, Olivia. I'm so sorry I never said that to you before. I'm so sorry. I never let you know what you meant to me. I just hope you feel the same. Otherwise, I'm gonna look really, really stupid."

She lets out a hoarse laugh of relief. "Yes, Miles. Yes. I hate how much I've loved you for such a long time."

"So you mean…? But I thought…?" I frown in confusion, not quite able to take all this in.

"Miles, I think we've both been really dumb. I only told you that I didn't want a relationship because I never in a million years would have thought you'd want someone like me."

All the gears are slotting into place, and I want to kick myself for not having thought any of this through any harder, any sooner. "I love you," I whisper again, leaning in to kiss her, taking her face in both hands. The kiss is salty and raw, but it's the best kiss I"ve ever had. It means too much not to be.

When we split apart, I wrap both arms around her and lift her up into the air, spinning her around. "Be careful! I'm pregnant!"

"Yeah, but I bet you'd tell me off for thinking you were easily damaged too."

She shrugs. "I might not be fragile. But I do feel sick all the time lately." I settle her back on her feet and give her a sheepish grin, still holding her tight in my arms.

"So," I say, kissing her cheek and whispering into her ear, "can I come in?" She makes a little noise of confusion and I continue. "Well, unless you let me, I'm kind of technically homeless right now."

"Yes, of course you can," she says, hitting me gently in the arm. "This can be your home for as long as you want it to be." She backs up, scrubs her eyes with her hands and then looks at me again. "Where's all your stuff?"

"Well, about that…" I say, running a hand through my hair. "It turns out you actually can't turn a cargo ship around."

Olivia grins, taking my hand. "I"m sure I can fix you up with something. Come in. Come home."

I don't resist in the slightest, letting her lead me in and shut the door behind me. I let a long breath out, and as I sweep her up into another kiss, my chest loosens for the first time in a long time.

Home. I like that.