CHAPTER FIVE

SIX

A Couple of Days Later

It has taken some time and after talking with Neon, trying to find jobs for Amber, I now have to go and tell her our plans. Neon and Zero are by my side as we approach her while she plays with the kids. I have no idea how she will take what we have to say, so we want to do this in private.

Stepping up to Amber, she spots us and smiles up at me. “Hey, Pres, Kenna and I were just making you another drawing.”

“See, Daddy?” Kenna chimes, holding the paper up to me.

“That’s great, baby. Keep drawing while we have a little chat with Amber, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy.”

Kenna goes back to her paper while Amber stands in front of us. “Everything okay?”

“Everything is fine. We just wanna have a quick chat with you about some shit, so if you wanna follow us?” I state and gesture toward the Chapel.

Amber hesitantly nods before I lead the way. She catches up and walks in step beside me. I open the door, but her eyes haven’t left me the entire time. I don’t know if she stares at me on purpose, but it is fucking unsettling. I round the Church table and take a seat at the head, and she slides in right next to me. Zero and Neon take their usual chairs, making sure to witness this conversation.

Her big doe eyes look up at me through her thick lashes, and she blinks a few times while I rest my hands in fists on the table. “I’ll get right to it. We would like to transition you into a working role within the club. We want to see you in a stable position, and while we love that the kids adore you, it’s just not feasible for the club to have another girl on staff. So this is why we’re gonna help you shift out into the workforce.”

Her eyes widen, and in an instant, I see the shimmer of unshed tears threatening to spill over. The color drains from her face, leaving it ashen, as if every ounce of life has been sucked out of her. Her breath catches, shallow and frantic, each inhale too quick, too desperate, as if the air itself is slipping through her fingers. Her hand flies to her chest, clutching at her heart like it’s trying to hold itself together.

She hunches over, the weight of whatever is suffocating her pressing down, and I see the struggle in her every movement. Her body is trembling, fighting against the internal panic that’s gripping her chest, her shoulders shaking with the effort of trying to pull in air.

The sound of her ragged breathing fills the space between us, and I know, without a single doubt, what’s happening. She’s having a panic attack. I feel it in the frantic energy vibrating off her, in the way her eyes dart around, unable to focus, her body caught in the grip of something she can’t escape. It’s like the world has gone still around her, and all we hear is the rush of her anxious breath.

Zero and Neon both sit, their eyes wide like they have no clue how to handle this, but I know this all too well, having had to deal with Rebel’s panic attacks. So I slide my chair out and race around, spinning Amber’s chair to face me. I reach out for both her hands, holding them tight in my own. “Amber, listen to my voice. Are you listening?” She’s panting but subtly nods through her desperate breaths and trembling body. “Pick something to focus your eyes on, anything in the room. Find something and stare at it.”

Her eyes instantly snap up, locking intently with my eyes.

Jesus! Fuck! I didn’t mean me.

But if it helps right now, then so be it.

I look back at her and keep going, attempting to calm her down. “Breathe with me, okay? In, two three… out, two three. In, two three… out, two three. Good… good, now keep going, slow that breathing down.”

Her eyes glisten with tears, and she finally begins to calm down enough to talk. “T-thank you. No one has been able to c-calm me like you d-do, Six.”

“I’ve had to deal with this kind of thing before. So I know my way around panic attacks.”

Her lips turn up just a smidge, her eyes lighting with unmistakable adoration, as her thumbs gently caress my hands holding hers. “You really are like my own personal hero.”

Yep, that’s my cue to back the fuck up.

I move instinctively, slowly backing away, still trying to make her feel grounded but also letting her know I need to keep my distance. This is something she has to ride out on her own. I can’t be the man to constantly save her. The only thing I can do now is be here—be steady, be a reminder that she’s not alone. But I also can’t be the white knight she wants me to be.

I shift back to my seat, with Zero and Neon watching my every move, quietly assessing Amber and me. I feel it with every movement and word that I speak. They have their opinions, and I know I will hear them soon enough.

“The fact is, Amber, I know you’re scared about getting back out into the world, but we will all be here to help guide you. We won’t send you out on your ass. You have my word,” I promise her.

She sniffles and nods. “So this job you’re thinking about, what is it?”

“With your qualifications in childcare, we’ve talked to the manager at Kenna’s school and gotten you a placement at their after-school hours care program.”

“So I’ll be working with kids?” she asks, her tone inflecting up as she beams from ear to ear.

“Yeah, if you’re happy with that?”

“I mean, yeah… that’s my dream job. Thank you, Six.”

I tilt my head. “We want you to be independent again, Amber. We want you to get the confidence back that Bradley took from you. Working for an income and getting your own place will do that for you far better than we can provide for you here.”

She gnaws on her bottom lip like she is hesitant. “I’m not sure what to say.”

“Say, thank you.”

She giggles. “Thank you. When do I start?”

“Tomorrow. You’ll get some time in before the Christmas break, then start with confidence in the new year.”

“What about the kids and looking after them here?”

“We’ll find a way to work around it. Getting you back on your feet is more important. We managed before you came. We can manage now.”

She frowns as if I have offended her, but then she straightens her shoulders and plasters on a fake smile. “Okay, thank you for this opportunity, Six. I won’t let you down.”

I let out a long breath. “You need to do this for you, Amber. Yes, we will be here to help you and give you support, but you’re the one who has to make your life better. To step out from the shadows of Bradley. Are you ready to do that?”

She smiles. “I think I am.”

“Glad to hear it. Pike and Bender will take you in tomorrow to make sure you’re settled and watch over you to ensure Bradley doesn’t show up.”

Her eyes fall in obvious disappointment. “Oh… so you won’t be coming?”

“I have a club to run, Amber. I don’t do babysitting duty.”

“Of course… sorry.”

“Just have fun. Be yourself. The kids will adore you. I know mine do.”

Her smile is back with a vengeance, and she nods. “I really do appreciate this opportunity.”

“Okay, you can head out now. Pike will give you further details on what you need to do to prepare for tomorrow.”

She stands and walks to the door. “Thanks again, Six… for the job and for calming me down. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Uneasiness flows over me with how she is batting her damn lashes. “There will be a time soon when you’ll have to live without me, Amber. I can’t be your crutch. That’s why we’re doing this. So you can stand on your own two feet.”

She scowls but nods, then turns, walking out the door and closing it behind her.

Letting out a long breath, I sink back into my seat, my brother and Neon both glaring at me.

“What?” I grunt.

“I’m gonna give you a piece of advice as your older brother because I don’t want to see you fuck up the life you have…” Zero takes a deep breath before continuing, “I know you want to help this kid get back on her feet. You have the heart of a fucking saint, and you just want to help people, but Six… Koda… please hear me when I tell you this, she is going to cause the mother of all head fucks for you.”

Neon exhales, nodding in agreement. “I have to agree, man. She has got one serious lady boner for you.”

Rubbing my hands through my hair, I let out a groan. “Yeah… I know. I see it, so what the fuck do I do that I’m not already doing besides kick her out on her ass and possibly right back into the arms of someone who will hurt her.”

“Sometimes I think your soft heart is going to be your downfall, Six. You’ve got her a job. Now get her somewhere to stay. She doesn’t need to be here at the clubhouse. Even if we need to pay for it, for the time being. Get her the fuck away from you and away from Rebel,” Zero states matter of fact.

Nodding in agreement, I feel lighter somehow, like all of this has been weighing me down. Wanting to keep Amber safe is fine, but needing to keep Rebel and my family happy is my most important job.

I have to do this.

I need to do this.

Clearing my throat, I nod. “Yeah… you’re right. It’s going too far now. She’s too dependent on me… Neon, find her an apartment, something small that she can take over paying the rent on once she can save up enough. We’ll cover her deposit and home essentials, but once she makes enough to pay her own way, she’s out on her own. We’ll cut her off.”

“Solid plan, Six. It keeps your conscience clear and everyone else happy. Maybe not Amber, but what she wants is the least of our concerns right now. We don’t want to upset the balance of this club and what we’ve got going on here,” Neon urges.

“Agreed. Neon, get to work,” I state.

“You got it, Pres. Want me to run the apartment by you first?”

“No, you think it is good enough, then make the payments and set Sunshine up to go and pick out all the interior décor. I feel like she would be good at that. Get the two prospects to help her put everything together…” I look at him in all seriousness. “And Neon, make this happen as fast as you can. I need Amber out of the clubhouse asap.”

Zero smiles like he’s proud of me. “I am glad you’re finally understanding the urgency in this, brother.”

“I should have listened to Rebel when she wasn’t enthusiastic about Amber.”

“An Old Lady always knows best,” Zero states.

Neon and I both chuckle.

“Ain’t that the truth,” I mumble under my breath. “Okay, thanks for having my back on this, boys.”

Zero dips his bearded chin. “I always got your back. What are big brothers for?”

Neon spins his laptop around to face me. “Got an apartment. I’ve put in an application. Just have to wait and see if it gets accepted. I’ll keep you updated.”

Letting out a small laugh, I shake my head. “I don’t know why I am always surprised at how fast you do shit.”

Neon smirks. “Fingers of a ninja.”

“I bet Shiver appreciates that,” I mock, and he grins wide.

“Why do you think her Old Lady name is Shiver?” he chimes, even though we all know that’s not the reason.

Laughing, I shake my head while he chuckles, closes his laptop, then stands. “I’ll let you know when I hear. If it gets rejected, there are another three apartments I have scouted in the area we can apply for.”

“Okay, keep me posted.”

He gives me a two-finger salute, then walks out of the Chapel. I turn back to Zero, and he slumps his shoulders. “You sure you want to wait this long? Do it this way? If you put her out on her ass, your problem will be fixed, and she won’t have a chance to cause an issue.”

“It’s not gonna be long, and she’ll be out of our lives for good. A few weeks tops. But in the meantime, she’ll be living in the apartment, working away from the clubhouse. She’ll hardly be here or around me. We just have to last the next few days until the apartment is ready. I can’t in all good conscience kick her out on her ass, knowing there’s a guy out there after her.”

Zero tilts his head. “We could always rectify that issue?”

Lifting my chin, I purse my lips. “Go after Bradley, you mean?”

Zero shrugs. “If that’s what’s stopping you from kicking her ass out, then get rid of the damn problem. And bam. There’s your solution.”

Rubbing my beard, I nod my head. “Yeah. We find this Bradley dick. We fuck him over. That way, we’ll feel better about Amber being out on her own, and we can get her out of here sooner. Win-fucking-win.”

“ This is what I like to hear. You have a problem, deal with it. We’re one-percenters for a reason, Six. This Bradley seems like a waste of space. Don’t think anyone is gonna miss him anyways, right?”

Smirking, I raise my brow. “We need to get Neon back in here. Have him hunt down where this Bradley could be. Find a location. In the meantime, I need to tell Amber that she’s not only getting a new job, but she’s moving the fuck out as soon as damn possible. Time to end this shit.”

Zero chuckles. “Now you’re growing some damn balls.”

“I’m tryin’ here, Zero.”

He exhales. “I know, brother… but the thing I think you still haven’t learned about being president is that you can’t be everything to everyone. You’re the president. Which means, first and foremost, you’re in charge of this club and the best interests of the people here. The people… here. Not the stragglers we take in. You gotta make the hard decisions, and sometimes that means hurting people’s feelings… and Koda, I know it’s not in your nature, you’re different from me, but sometimes you just have to be fucking brutal in your decisions, no matter who it cuts to the quick. If it is to protect the people of the club, then others have to suffer because the club will always come first.”

Nodding, I get it, and I know deep down it’s what I have to do. “I wanted to try to be different. Growing up, Dad did things a certain way, then you followed the same path. Dad was murdered. You got fucking attacked and injured so badly it crippled you. I thought if I tried to rule differently, maybe the outcome could change for me… now I realize maybe that’s just me being na?ve.”

Zero’s hand comes down on my shoulder like a damn weight, and I feel the pressure of his words hit me before he even speaks. When he exhales, I can tell he’s trying to choose them carefully, but the meaning lands hard anyway.

“While it’s noble of you to think that way, being a softer president, being kinder and gentler is only gonna get you killed. You have a family. A fucking amazing family. A club that’s running tight compared to when I was president. You have everything to live for right now! Don’t waste it by not living up to your full Walker potential. Be the president you were born to be, Six. Show Houston how strong you really are.”

It hits me, right in the chest. Harder than I expect, harder than I want. There’s no sugarcoating it—Zero’s calling me out, telling me I’ve been holding back, that my softer approach is a liability. His words cut, but they’re true. And goddamn, does that sting. He’s right. I have been playing it safe, trying to find this balance between being the president I think I should be and the man I want to be. But maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I’ve been too afraid of the power in this role. Too afraid to truly own it.

I feel the tightness in my chest, that hot wave of anger bubbling up, not at him, but at myself. I’ve got a family, a crew that’s stronger than it’s ever been, and I’ve been tiptoeing around the idea of what kind of leader I need to be. And for what? To protect them? To spare them the fallout of the harsh choices I’ve got to make?

But hearing Zero tell me, “Don’t waste it.” It’s like a goddamn wake-up call. I’ve been walking this fine line, but it’s time to stop. I’ve got to stop second-guessing myself. I’m not some guy who can just sit back and hope things go my way. I’ve got a reputation to uphold, a club to lead, and dammit, I need to start playing the game.

I suck in a breath, forcing myself to stay steady. “I hear you,” I say, keeping my voice low, but it’s solid, grounded.

I look him dead in the eyes. He’s right. Time to stop questioning. Time to show everyone, including myself, just how strong I really am. My chest floods with pride. “We need to find Bradley.”

“Yeah… we do.” Zero’s cocky smile lets me know I am finally on the right path.

Smiling, I walk to the Chapel door and open it. “Neon… get your ass back in here.”