14. Aspen

Chapter 14

Aspen

Mac was revealing his true self, bit by bit. Like a puzzle, the picture became clearer the more he dared to share with me.

His confession this morning had been heartbreaking. I couldn’t imagine questioning the authenticity of every interaction, every friendship, or hell, every romantic relationship.

It settled like a rock in my gut because I was coming to realize that Mac was a good person.

He hadn’t hesitated to offer assistance when we were short a Santa this morning, nor when Rose explained the Christmas charity drive. He helped people because it made him feel good. I could tell that simply from the giant smile stretched across his face while he allowed the children each a turn to sit on his lap and whisper their gift wishes in his ear, before he parked himself at a table, coloring silently with a little girl who’d had a meltdown earlier due to sensory overload.

He was nothing like I’d thought, but the more I learned about him, the more I found I liked him.

It made me sad that none of this was real. That the next time I came home, during the holidays or otherwise, he wouldn’t be standing by my side, being his ridiculous self in an attempt to make me laugh.

Even more tragic was the thought that Mac might never again experience a sense of true family, of instant acceptance, once we parted ways.

Harper nudged me with an elbow, bouncing baby Barrett on her hip as she kept a watchful eye on her daughter, Aubree, at one of the tables. “Hey, my parents agreed to watch the kids tonight since a bunch of us are planning to hit up The Watering Hole. You guys should come.”

A night out at the bar sounded a hell of a lot better than being cooped up in the cabin, so I nodded. “I’ll check in with Mac and let you know.”

Barrett started fussing, so she excused herself to feed him but expressed her hope to see us later before she walked away.

I worked my way toward where Mac sat concentrating on a simple coloring sheet with such intense focus as though it were set to be hung in the Louvre. The child-size chair he sat on was so low to the ground that his knees were practically touching his ears, but he didn’t seem to mind, the smile on his face serving as evidence.

“Hey, sweetheart. Mind if I borrow Santa for a minute?” I spoke to the curly-headed toddler seated beside him.

She peeked up at me with big blue eyes and nodded without a word.

Mac grinned at the beautiful little girl. “Skylar here has been an excellent coloring companion. She knows all her colors and can stay inside the lines.”

Skylar beamed under his praise, so I jumped in, crouching down beside her. “Wow. I’m impressed.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she finds some art supplies under the tree on Christmas morning.” His voice held such conviction that I had no doubt he would personally ensure that she did.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed the girl’s mother hovering nearby, shifting on her feet and chewing her lower lip at Mac’s promise.

Mac must’ve seen her reaction as well because he added, “I’ll speak to the elves and make sure of it.”

Relief replaced worry as her eyes grew glassy. It made me wonder if they were one of the families set to receive assistance this year, not that I would ever ask. It was hard enough for parents to overcome their pride and accept the help of the community for their children during the holidays; they didn’t need anyone to shine a spotlight on their struggles.

Standing, Mac placed a hand on my back before speaking to Skylar. “Think you can finish that picture for me so I can take it back to the North Pole?”

The little girl’s rosebud lips parted in shock at the suggestion that he deemed her artwork worthy of displaying in Santa’s workshop.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He tossed her a wink before leading me away.

“You know, we missed a real opportunity here,” he mused.

I quirked an eyebrow. “And what’s that?”

He gave my hip a squeeze. “Could’ve had you play Mrs. Claus.”

“Not sure we have that costume on standby,” I teased.

Mac hummed. “Maybe next year.”

Next year. There wasn’t going to be a next year. Not where Mac was concerned.

That thought sat like the weight of a two-ton elephant on my chest, so I forced myself to change the subject. Tilting my head toward the table where Skylar still sat concentrating on her coloring, I remarked, “You were good with her.”

“Eh, kids are easy.” He shrugged.

A wry laugh fell from my lips. “Said no parent ever.”

“They don’t have expectations, you know?”

It struck me suddenly that I was no better than the people he’d described this morning. I was using him to make this trip home easier for me , with no regard for him, only focused on saving face in front of my family, my hometown.

Swallowing around the lump in my throat, I croaked out, “Mac, I’m sorry.”

His brows drew down in concern. “Aspen, what’s wrong?”

I tilted my face toward the ceiling, blinking furiously to keep the tears at bay.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Panic leaked into his tone. “If it’s something I did—”

“No. It’s something I did.” My lower lip trembled, and I sniffled softly. I was fighting a losing battle. My only hope was that there weren’t too many people watching my public breakdown.

Warm palms cupped my cheeks, bringing my gaze down to meet his. “Talk to me, Aspen. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad. Maybe we can fix it together. We’re partners this week, right?”

That threw me over the edge, and the first hot tear leaked out, followed by another and another. I couldn’t stop them from falling freely.

Mac might have been thrown by my sudden change in mood, but that didn’t stop him from gathering me into his arms, offering comfort I didn’t deserve. Steadfast, he held me, whispering soothing words in my ear, until I calmed enough that only the occasional hiccup bubbled up from my chest.

Using a thumb, he brushed the moisture from my face, his eyes searching. “It’s killing me to see you cry. Let me help you.”

“That’s the problem,” I whispered, my voice hoarse.

“You’re gonna have to give me some more clues than that, Aspen, because I’m really lost right now.”

I knew what I said next would throw me into the ultimate shitstorm, but it was the right thing to do.

“I think we need to come clean and end this.”

Mac’s eyes widened, and his voice rose in pitch. “What? Why?”

I hung my head in shame. “Because it’s wrong. I should have never asked you to come here and pretend like we are something we aren’t. It’s not fair to you, and I’m sorry I made you feel like you had to swoop in and save me when I was having a moment back in LA. I’m a big girl; I should’ve had the guts to be honest with my parents about my relationship status, or the lack thereof.”

“Don’t I have a say in this as one half of this couple?”

“Fake couple,” I corrected.

The loud rumble of his chest had me peeking up. The intensity of his stare when we locked eyes had me gasping.

He looked furious. And he had every right to be.

“Let’s get one thing straight, Aspen.” The way his voice dropped an octave had a shiver rolling down my spine. “I’m here because I want to be here.”

“You say that, but—”

A finger pressed to my lips cut off my sentence.

Eyes blazing, Mac declared, “We’re done when I say we’re done. Got it?”

Stunned, I blinked at him.

What did that even mean? We had an expiration date. In three days, we’d board a plane back to LA and this charade would come to an end.

“Got it?” he pressed, tone harsher than I’d ever heard.

I managed a weak nod in response.

“Good.” His lungs expanded as he took a deep breath. “Was that what you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Huh?” My head was spinning with how quickly Mac had shifted from a shoulder to cry on—literally—to demanding that he remain my fake boyfriend when I tried to let him off the hook.

“Earlier, when you came over to steal me away from Skylar for a word,” he prompted.

“No, actually. I guess some people are headed to the bar tonight. My friend, Harper, asked if we might want to join.”

A corner of his lips quirked up. “You asking me out on a date?”

“What? No. I mean, technically, we’d be going together. And yes, people think we’re dating, but it’s not—”

“Sounds like a date to me.” He flashed me a smug smirk.

My eyes rolled so hard I caught a peek of my brain. “Whatever. We don’t have to go.”

He placed a hand on his chest. “What kind of man would I be to turn down a date with the prettiest girl in town?”

I knew he was messing with me, but it didn’t stop the flush from creeping up my neck and onto my cheeks at the compliment.

“Now that that’s settled, I’ve gotta get back to my coloring. It’s very serious business, you know.” With that, he returned to the table Skylar occupied, dropping onto that too-small chair without complaint and gratefully accepting a crayon she held out to him.

Leaning against a wall, I watched the pair of them.

Someday, he was going to make a great dad. The thought that some other woman would get to witness it as that child’s mother, as Mac’s partner, had jealousy burning hot through my veins.

Because whoever she was, I knew she wouldn’t be me.