11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Emil

I’d like to say I’m more prepared this time when I step onto set for my second live stream video with Christian. And in some ways, I am.

I’m expecting the heady rush of anticipation that sweeps over me. I’m expecting my brain to go somewhat offline. I’m even expecting the tinge of fear that this euphoria will, someday, pass, and I’ll go seeking a more dangerous hit.

That last one is something I’ve talked to my therapist about. She’s assured me I am, in fact, in control of myself, even when I feel anything but. That’s what those exercises in restraint are for. Proving to myself I can step back.

But it’s still something that sits at the periphery of my mind. Because how am I possibly going to find someone who understands this facet of my life? That this is something I crave, possibly even need? That there are limits I have when it comes to my exhibitionism, and those limits aren’t something I feel confident about enforcing when I’m heavily under the influence of my own drug?

It’s a lot.

But today isn’t about my nonexistent love life. It’s about sex.

Which brings me back to what I am prepared for. And that’s the sight of Christian strolling into Studio 3 in that little black miniskirt he apparently sewed himself. I’m prepared for the way everything in me curls tight like a spring waiting to unload. I’m even prepared for the smirk he flashes me, as if he can’t quite help himself.

Vixen, indeed.

“Hey,” he says, coming to a stop in front of me.

How was this man lying on my bed just last night? It seems unreal because Christian is, quite honestly, stunning. And I’m still not sure I understand what it is he wants from me .

“Hi,” I answer, trying not to squirm, even though my dick is hard and I’m having trouble not touching the person who I know will spend the better part of the next hour working me into an even more frenzied state than I’m already in. Christ .

“Are you okay doing a scene today?” Christian asks, eyes skimming over me.

I huff a small laugh, perfectly aware he’s likely cataloguing my red cheeks and strained expression and trying to determine whether it’s good strain or bad. “You take consent seriously.”

“Yeah, I do,” he answers, offering me a smile. “So?”

“I’m good.”

“A little horny?” he asks quietly. And now the fucker is toying with me.

“You dick.”

If only I truly hated it.

Christian laughs, light and airily. “You can have my dick later, Specs. If you want it.”

Fucking fuck. Like I ever wouldn’t want it.

I clear my throat. “Hey, Christian?”

He cocks his head, a lock of silky black hair falling in front of his face. “Yeah?”

“I’m not sure if you know this about me, unless you’ve happened upon one of the few videos in which it’s been recorded here, but I used to swim in high school.”

“Okay?” he says slowly.

“I wasn’t all that great at it. I didn’t win much or anything, but I enjoyed the rhythmic motion. I probably would have joined a team in college if I wasn’t busy with so many other things. But every once in a while, I like to go to a local pool and swim. I’ve kept up the practice.”

Christian waits, clear curiosity on his face as I slowly get around to my point.

“I can hold my breath for over two minutes,” I tell him. “Which means you can keep your cock in my throat for two minutes .”

I see the precise moment my words saturate his brain. How his pupils blow and his nostrils flare and his posture gets ever so slightly more rigid. I won’t lie. I get a perverse sense of satisfaction causing that reaction in him. Knowing I’ve shocked him.

“Something to consider,” I say, shooting him a wink as I head toward our bed for the day. I hear a laugh behind me and smile to myself.

“All right!” Jerome yells, coming through the door in a flurry of his usual energy. “We’re nearly ready to roll. Felix, Vixen, all good?”

“Yep,” I say, a little calmer this time as I settle on the bed, although no less turned on. Maybe it should embarrass me that so many people can clearly see my arousal before we’ve even begun. But again… It’s never been embarrassment for me.

“Ready,” Christian says, joining me on the bed.

Jerome confers with the cameramen, of which there are two today. One to monitor the static shot and another for the moving close-ups. Other crew members are scattered around the room, getting final details set before we begin.

I sneak a peek at Christian. At his skirt and the bulge front and center beneath the fabric.

As if he feels my eyes on his person, Christian spreads his legs wider. I curse as the fabric tents a little more obscenely.

“How do you hide that thing?” I say, thinking of Alex’s comment from weeks ago.

“My dick?” Christian asks, sounding amused. “I don’t usually walk around with a raging hard-on, Specs. This is all for you.”

My eyes flash up to his, a bolt of arousal sending heat through my core.

“Thirty seconds,” Jerome yells.

Christian clears his throat. “Do you want me to take the lead again?”

“I should be a little more coherent this time, but yeah, if you wouldn’t mind.”

He nods, swinging his legs lightly. His arms are braced behind him, and his hair is down today, falling in its usual tousled style.

“Ten,” Jerome calls, switching to hands as he counts us down. The room falls silent.

I lean a little closer to Christian, keeping my voice at a whisper. “For the record, I do want your dick, Christian. Any-and-everywhere you can put it.”

“You cheeky little—” Christian cuts off a second before we switch to a live feed and smiles for the camera. His hand slips behind me, curling beneath the curve of my ass as he starts to talk. My pulse skyrockets, but he sounds unaffected, voice light. “Well, well, if it isn’t our favorite at-home viewers. Hello, all you naughty dogs. I’m Vixen, and this is Felix. Are you excited to watch us get down and dirty today?”

Comments flood in, seemingly more than last time, although I’m not sure I can trust my observational skills from that day.

“Oh, I like that idea, AnonymousHottie,” Christian says, looking my way. “He said there wasn’t enough kissing last time. What do you think, Fe? Wanna make out with me?”

My answer is giving Christian’s arm a tug. He comes easily, falling over me as my back hits the mattress. I don’t know if it’s because this is work or I know what’s expected of us, but it’s so much easier to do exactly what I want while we’re on this set. And what I want is Christian’s body on mine. His lips on mine .

I wrap my ankles behind his ass and tug him to me as my hands sink into his hair. The ever-present awareness of the cameras keeps me from blocking his face, but I don’t hesitate to pull him closer, even as Christian is already on the move. Our mouths lock, our groins connect, and I moan, already keyed up and horny and having no qualms about showing it.

Christian rocks his hips against mine, the unmistakable hardness of his cock dragging against my own. I can feel his bare ass beneath my heels as I try to drag him closer, and I wonder at what the viewers are seeing right now. Christian’s ass under his skirt? The skimpy underwear that’s barely concealing him?

The thought threatens to unravel me because any reminder of the audience has my mind wanting to sink into that wonderful, hazy surrender. But Christian’s lips keep me rooted. His kiss is more frantic this time, and I have no doubt mine is the same. This isn’t the lazy post-coital bliss we shared after our first scene together. This is raw and hungry, anticipatory , and it’s not just me, right? Christian wants this, too. Maybe for his own reasons, but you can’t fake genuine interest like what I feel pouring from his lips.

Christian doesn’t kiss like the rest of my coworkers.

The sound I make as Christian drags his mouth down to my neck is needy as fuck, but I don’t care. “Ch—” Shit , I almost said his name again. “Christ. Vixen, would you get this shirt off?”

My hands tug at Christian’s top, and he laughs against my neck, nipping gently before leaning back to pull it free. Long, lean muscle is revealed, as well as the sparkling jewelry at his navel. He makes quick work of my shirt next, and then his hands are on my chest, thumbs circling my nipples as I hiss and arch up against the touch. He whips his hair to the side before coming back in, mouth pressing kisses to my neck and jaw and finally my lips as his thumbs circle and circle and circle .

My moan is loud. But painfully real.

Christian smacks away from my mouth, a wicked gleam in his eye as his gaze flashes to the tablet beside us. “Mm. I agree. He does like that. I think I could probably make him come from this alone.”

He punctuates his point by leaning down and, ever so lightly, flicking his tongue across my nipple.

I bite my lip. Hard .

“Should I see how close I can get him?” Christian asks the viewers.

The consensus must be yes because he gives me a grin before pulling his hair up into a poofy little bun and securing it with the band around his wrist. I don’t know why that simple act is as goddamn sexy as it is, but as Christian slinks down my body, his mouth poised above my chest and a few tendrils of his hair falling around his face, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anyone as utterly enchanting as him.

My exhalation must alert him because his eyes meet mine a moment before his lips wrap around my nipple. There’s mischief there, that’s for damn sure. But there’s also something soft and almost excited, so I hold my tongue about Christian torturing me— again —and let him have his fun.

The first suck of his mouth has my legs falling flat against the mattress. The next, tongue included as it presses up against the underside of the bud, has my hands flying above my head. I grab a pillow, toss it away, search for something more stable. One hand finds the headboard, and the other holds on to the goddamn sheets as Christian treats my nipple like the end of my cock and sucks for all he’s worth.

His name on my lips is more a plea than anything. The way he holds tight and flicks his tongue back and forth is a nuh-uh, we’re not done yet .

“You’re… evil…” I pant.

Christian’s hand slips down beneath the band of my jeans, fingers teasing the head of my cock.

“Evil,” I insist. “ Don’t fucking stop .”

He huffs a laugh against me, swirling his tongue, and I damn near shoot off the bed. Christian’s mouth slips to the other side of my chest as his fingers leave my cock, landing on my pec instead. His thumb rolls over my nipple, wet now from his spit, and the way he circles it, rubbing firmly in the same pattern as his tongue, has me wondering if I really could come like this.

“ Vixen .”

He hums, popping off the bud, only to tug down my pants and suck my cock into his mouth. I curse, and he pops off again, returning to my chest. He sucks my left nipple into his mouth and then my right. And then, eyes on me, sinks back down to my dick.

“Oh my God, oh my God,” I mumble, squirming, hips shifting, hands trying to find a better hold as Christian repeats the circuit twice. When I realize I can grab him , I do just that, my fingers tangling in his hair as I roll him onto his back. His eyes widen, a grin on his face that I swiftly kiss away.

He groans, but I pull back, breath puffing out of me.

“Fuck my goddamn fucking mouth,” I tell him firmly.

His eyes spark with something fierce, lips looking bright against his pale skin. “If that’s what you want,” he says slowly, “then get on your knees, Fe. Before I make you.”

I scramble backwards, and Christian pushes himself up, his hair a riotous mess and his eyes wild. He looks like a predator, and I don’t know what it says about me that I trust him implicitly even with that gleam in his eye, but I do. I trust him, and I don’t move a muscle as he rises fluidly to his feet atop the bed and slides his fingers through my hair.

My pants are hanging around my thighs, but I don’t bother shifting them. I probably look like a needy mess, exactly how I feel. The thought of people seeing me like this has my cock throbbing without touch.

Christian doesn’t remove his black miniskirt. He simply tightens his grip in my hair. “Take me out.”

My hands fly under the hem of his skirt, fingers mapping the front of his barely-there thong before I grip the material and tug. The tiny scrap pools around his feet.

“Get me wet, Fe.”

Bunching up the front of his skirt, I don’t hesitate. I take him into my mouth, sucking hard, moaning at the taste and feel of him. Christian’s eyes slip shut as I bob my head, soaking him with spit and popping off to lick his crown.

“Still, now,” he says hoarsely, that dark gaze back on me, the wild glint still there, yes, but also a tenderness that has me opening my mouth wide without hesitation.

Christian readjusts his grip to my jaw and the back of my head and starts to thrust. He fucks my mouth shallowly, “ Fe, Fe, Fe ,” falling from his lips with each glide of his dick along my tongue. It doesn’t take long before he’s going deeper, his cockhead easing into my throat. When he pulls all the way out, I know what to expect. I inhale deeply through my nose, and as soon as I’m done, Christian’s dick is back in my mouth. He slides as far as he can go, and this time, he stays put.

I nearly come right then and there.

“Do you have any idea,” Christian pants, hips flexing in tiny increments, “how incredibly sexy you look right now, Fe? The way you’re wrapped around me tight, taking my cock down your throat as if you’re starved for it.”

He pumps his hips a little harder, grip tight. My pulse is hammering, head fuzzy, but it’s not from lack of oxygen. I hold still, eager to take everything he’ll give me.

Christian’s neck arches back as he slides his cock in and out of my mouth an inch at most, denying me breath like I all but dared him to do. He looks regal. All long, irresistible lines. The masculinity of him. The femininity.

“You’re remarkable, Fe,” he breathes, when I’m sure that’s him . “Look at the screen. Look at what they’re saying about you.”

My eyes flit to the tablet that’s sitting just behind Christian. The text is large enough I can read it, and the comments make my dick throb. I don’t dare touch myself, not wanting this to end.

“Mm,” Christian hums, his cock still burrowing into my throat, his pace careful and measured. I have maybe thirty seconds left. “You’re perfect, and I don’t care how many of them are watching. I don’t care whether or not they wish you were theirs. Because right now? Right fucking now, it’s my cock in your throat. Right now, Fe, you’re mine .”

My hands squeeze Christian’s hips, and he pulls out immediately. I suck in a harsh breath, feeding my lungs and trying to steady the quick beat of my heart.

I meet Christian’s gaze, unflinching. “Then show me.”