5. Yolani

FIRST AND LAST…

"It's cool if I make a sandwich before I go?" Avery asked.

"Yep, that's cool." I half smiled as he closed my bedroom door behind himself.

Immediately, I dialed Nelly because I needed her to help me calm the fuck down. I didn't know why going on a date with Cemone tonight had me so damn nervous, but it did. I didn't even like his ass but felt the sudden need to be sure he was impressed by me.

"Hey, I'm almost done?—"

"No, it's not work related. I need you to give me a pep talk and remind me of all the shit I said before I go out tonight with Cemone."

"Oooohh."

"Nelly, for real."

"Just fuck him one time to say you did."

"No." I laughed along with her. "I'm not scared I'm gonna fuck him, because there is nothing he can say or do tonight that would make that shit happen. However, the few times I've talked to him, I've noticed… I don't know… that I start to feel things."

"Like? If it's not sexual, then what are you feeling?"

"Almost like I have a crush on him. He's proving to be nothing like I pegged him to, and I wish he would act like the typical asshole I know he can be to make shit easier. But he doesn't. He's a gentleman, and even when I tell him not to touch me, he doesn't."

"Isn't that what he is supposed to do?"

"Yeah, an average nigga, not Cemone."

"You right. Well, just keep in mind the way he dogs bitches out, and that should water that crush right on down."

"Yeah. Yeah… that's what I'm gonna do." I nodded, thinking. "Thank you. You can take the night off and just have everything to me by tomorrow night."

"Okay. Have fun but not too much unless you want to. You know I'm with whatever." She batted her eyelashes.

"Yes, I do know that."

I blew Nelly a kiss and then proceeded to get ready for the night, starting with a shower, then brushing my teeth. Once I had my hygiene together, I covered my body in some Brazil nut scented body cream, opting out of perfume due to how sweetly pronounced the butter was.

For the night, I opted for a vintage silk Roberto Cavalli dress that had a high split on one side and went to my ankles on the other. My hair had been freshly styled, so I allowed my golden locks to brush a little past my shoulders. After putting on my jewelry, Van Cleef and Cartier, I heard my phone go off.

Ugly Cemone Compton: Here.

I smirked at the name I had him stored in my phone as. It was childish, but I needed to be reminded of what I should think of him every time I saw him. Everyone knew Cemone Compton was far from ugly, but that was how he got your ass, and I refused to be a victim.

Me: Coming. Stay in the car.

I hadn't confirmed if Avery had left yet, and I wanted to prevent them from having another confrontation because I knew, eventually, it would blow up.

As I changed purses so my outfit would flow better, I heard my doorbell sound off, infuriating me. Cemone just never fucking followed the rules I saw.

I hurried from my bedroom and down the stairs, trying to see if I heard Avery in the kitchen still. Granted, it shouldn't have taken this long to make a damn sandwich, but sometimes Avery would bask in the amenities of my theater room or anything to keep from having to go home to his girlfriend, Tilsa.

"Who is that? Nelly?" Avery came out of the guest bathroom under the stairs.

"Don't worry about it. Lock my door when you leave." I strutted to the door, feeling Avery's eyes on my back.

Soon, I heard his steps following, making me grind my back teeth as I held my tiny purse under my arm. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door to see tree height Cemone standing there looking too fine. I wished he'd toned the shit down a little bit because this would be harder than I assumed it would. His cologne traveled right into my home, mesmerizing me.

"You ready?" He smiled at me, completely ignoring Avery who froze upon seeing who was on the other side of the door.

"This who you going out with? Miss ain't nothing to worry about with him?" Avery frowned, pointing at Cemone.

"Yes, I am. Lock my house when you leave, and do so before I come back, please. I don't wanna hear from Tilsa." I stepped out, Cemone taking my hand in his.

I felt Avery watching for a bit before he slammed my front door.

"I'm trying to change my tune, so that's the only reason I ain't clock that nigga just now," Cemone let me know before eyeing me. "You look edible, per fucking usual. But I can't eat, huh?" He opened the passenger door of his car with one hand, stroking his beard with the other. He lubricated his full lips with that pink tongue, then smiled, beautiful teeth on display instead of his grills he often wore.

"Nope!" I popped my lips, rolling my eyes playfully as I slid into the butter leather seats.

His Maserati smelled nice and lemony fresh, but I could also smell the remnants of his cologne.

"You can relax and put ya seat belt on, love. Let me find out I make Yolani nervous."

"Never. I'd have you nervous before you'd have me nervous." I played the role.

"You probably right. I was on edge all fucking day. Couldn't even take a much-needed nap." He pulled out of my driveway, going down the hill to my exit gate.

"Really?" I quizzed then immediately felt stupid for believing him.

"Deadass." His face lacked any humor, so I guess he was being serious.

"Hmm," was all I could say as I thought for a minute, admiring the tall palm trees that littered my street.

It was becoming more and more difficult to sift through what was truth and what was game with Cemone. Initially, it was so obvious it was gag worthy, but now, it was too hard to detect.

"I ain't really a nervous muthafucka. I can't ever remember being nervous about shit, not even when it came to ball. I've always known I was the best at everything I attempted to do. But with you," he shook his head subtly, "it's the first thing I ain't too sure of. I wasn't trying to do too much and you think it was because I was just trying to hit. I ain't wanna do too little, though, and you think I was trying to lowball yo' ass."

"Damn." I laughed. "Sounds like I be having your ass spiraling."

"Little bit." He nodded.

"Why did you come to the door when I explicitly asked you not to?"

"Because I'm a man, and when I pick a woman up, I go to the door and get her."

I wasn't expecting that response, so I had to switch my planned reply.

"Right… which is… yeah, you should do that. But I didn't want you and Avery to run into each other again."

"Who is that muthafucka?" He frowned. I loved his frown. It might've been sexier than his normal face, but I wasn't too sure yet. "He not yo' boo or nothing, right?" He glanced at me as he whipped the sports car.

"So this whole time you've been on my ass and didn't care that Avery was possibly my man?" I chuckled in slight disbelief.

"Yeah." He nodded, giving me a smile. "I didn't really give a fuck if he was yo' nigga or not. You don't belong to that nigga, so it's nothing. And if he know what's up, he'll let you go with no issues."

"I don't belong to you either."

"Not yet, but that shit is in the stars."

"Oh, is it? Because I haven't seen shit, and I look into the sky often."

We shared a laugh at my comment.

"Man." He shook his head with a smirk.

"What?"

"I can't wait to hear all the reasons, excuses, and explanations on why you folded and let me fuck you."

"Ha! You are not fucking me tonight!"

"Nah, I know that, but I will and for the rest of our lives. And when I do, I wanna hear them reasons, excuses, and explanations you got."

"Shut up, nigga." I snickered slightly as he exited the freeway, entering downtown LA.

He drove for a bit, letting the music guide us until we ended up at this skyscraping hotel. He parked using valet, and then we hurried inside, trying to avoid commotion since people began to recognize us. We rode the elevator up what seemed like one hundred floors, before ending up at the top. Stepping off, I saw it was a restaurant that gave a beautiful view of all of LA County it seemed. At night, the lights made everything look so beautiful.

The restaurant was a circular shape, which was odd but also pretty cool too. The hostess greeted Cemone by last name, clearly a giddy basketball fan, before secretly leading us to a private dining room which had an even better view and what appeared to be mood lighting.

"You still ain't tell me who that nigga is," Cemone said once our cocktails had been delivered.

"He's my brother. I mean, he's my god brother, but since we grew up together, he's more like my regular brother." I nodded, setting down the menu and taking a sip of my apple-based cocktail that had the perfect balance of sweet and spirit.

"That nigga don't act like a brother."

His words caused my body to stiffen slightly. I'd never forgotten that evening in the motel room ten years ago, but Avery hadn't showed any signs of still being interested in me romantically… at least not until Cemone entered the picture. Before, Avery stayed out of my dating life, only stepping in when I needed him. He'd never had this much to say in the past.

"Brothers aren't protective?"

"Nah, they are. I have one little sister, and I definitely ain't about to let a muthafucka play with her unless he wanna play with his life. Same time, it's that nigga's demeanor that don't sit right with me. He come off like a disgruntled ex or some shit, not a brother."

"Well, I'm not sure why he comes off that way." I shrugged, wanting to change the subject because I'd become uncomfortable. "How many siblings do you have? I thought you only had that football team of brothers."

Chuckling, he replied, "I have five brothers, one stepbrother, and one sister. So it's eight of us in total."

"Lord. Your people have been busy as hell."

"For real." He laughed.

"And I know the girls had fun with y'all coming up since none of you are bad looking."

"Especially Lequay, huh?"

"Who?" I frowned.

"My brother, the one you wanted to holla at over me at the wrap party."

I burst into laughter, happy that I was right about my plan working. I knew choosing one of his brothers would bruise his little ego, and I was right. Though I found Cemone to be the most attractive of the brood, he needed humbling, so I served his ass a big slice by shooting my shot at someone other than him.

I didn't want to choose a brother I recognized like Uncut or Shakur, because everyone knew they were married, and I didn't need my reputation muddied when that messy bottle girl told people I'd tried to fuck a married man. So, I picked the first one I could quickly describe, and since Lequay had on a crew neck that was easy to depict to her, I told her ass that I was interested in him. She reported back that he, too, was married, but it didn't make any difference; my mission of dissing Cemone had been accomplished.

"Oh, yeah. Too bad he's taken, right? He is taken, isn't he?"

"Keep playing with me, Yolani," he said, and I couldn't help but to shed my serious face and chuckle. "Spending my money and asking about the next nigga gon' get you hurt, love."

"You wouldn't dare touch me."

Sitting back and taking me in like he always did, lids low and his tongue resting on that suckable bottom lip, he replied, "Nah, not in that way, baby. You right."

There that feeling was again, like I had a crush on him. Before all this recent contact, I never thought about Cemone, but lately, I found my mind drifting to him. It wasn't often, but it was enough for me to recognize that I had a crush. Things he'd said would often replay in my head and make me smile, and I didn't like that.

"I know." I exhaled, feeling warm. Thank God the waiter came back into the room.

He took our orders, gifted us free champagne for the night, and tried to comp the dinner, too, per the owner's orders, but Cemone refused it, claiming he wanted to treat me tonight.

When the waiter left after dropping off the appetizers, Cemone asked, "You got a little sister or brother or some shit like that, right?"

"Little sister. Damn, what all do you know about me?"

"A lot. I read a magazine interview while waiting for my physical."

Why… why did that turn me on?

Taking too big of a gulp from my drink that I almost choked, I said, "That's kind of weird, don't you think?"

"Nah. It's a magazine, and I read it. Did you do the shit for people not to read it?"

"Okay, smart ass. You know what I mean." I rolled my eyes, unable to stop smiling like a jersey chaser. "But yes, my little sister Yailey is nine. We're pretty far apart in age, as you can tell, because my parents had been unlucky with having a second child until I was sixteen when my mom got pregnant again."

"Damn, that's crazy. My sister is sixteen, and we pretty far apart, mainly because my mama thought she couldn't have any more after my youngest brother. Then when she got remarried to my stepfather, the shit just happened."

"Really? That is crazy. Stop trying to have shit in common with me, Cemone." I smiled behind my martini glass.

"Ain't gotta try. When shit is meant to be, it just falls into place." He shrugged.

We captured one another's eyes just before the waiter showed up to deliver our dinner plates. I was gonna be sure his ass got an amazing and hefty tip because he had been saving my ass all night. Every time Cemone left me speechless, he showed up to save the day.

Over dinner, the conversation went smoothly, and surprisingly, I enjoyed hearing about his journey to becoming an NBA player. It was reminiscent of mine in the sense that he and I both began at a young age, and it was our primary focus into adulthood.

What stood out to me the most, though, was how intently he listened when I told him of my own pathway to becoming who I was today. Most men nodded and smiled, pretending to listen to make me happy, and back then, I thought it was fine because, who wanted to sit and listen to me yap about becoming a star? But Cemone made me realize them niggas just didn't care. He paid attention, asking questions and, most importantly, told me how in awe he was at all that I had accomplished. No one outside of family, friends, and interviewers had ever said such a thing to me, and I didn't notice how much I needed to hear it until now.

I decided to keep my struggles with my health to myself, something I usually didn't do. I typically made it clear about my auto-immune disease, and men would act as if it wasn't a big deal until they saw my issues firsthand. Cemone wasn't about to be a permanent fixture in my life, so he didn't need to know. Plus, I was sure it would run him off.

Maybe I should tell him then . I laughed inwardly at myself.

"So you listen to my music?" I asked, eating some of my filet mignon.

"I'd heard it but I ain't never said ‘play that shit'." He laughed when I let my jaw fall out of pretend shock. "I always thought you had a beautiful voice and shit though. My sisters-in-law, mama, and little sister fuck with you tough, so I had no choice but to hear it."

I nodded, liking that his people enjoyed my music.

"And you never thought to approach me until recently? Why?"

"To keep it real, I figured you ain't look shit like you did on TV. Usually, these females look totally different in person than they do in videos and shit. So when I saw you and you looked better, you had a nigga.

"Then the way you brushed a nigga off had me determined to knock you down just so I could boast."

"Wow." I scoffed.

"Let me finish." He set down his silverware, elbows on the table and lacing his fingers. "But the more obsessive I became with convincing you to fuck me, the more I actually started to like yo' ass and the shit I learned about you."

"I must say, Cemone, when you first asked me out, I was thinking, this nigga must be crazy. I wouldn't go out with him if he put a gun to my head."

"Which is hella likely."

We chuckled in unison, even though him pulling a gun on someone was very on brand.

"Yeah, but now, I'm happy I came. You are nothing like what I thought you were. I mean, you are, but not to the extent that I was thinking."

"Which was?"

"An arrogant fuckboy who thinks he can treat women like trash and still sleep with them."

Wiping his mouth with the cloth napkin, his body quaked a bit as he snickered at my statement.

"Real shit, love, I am like that. I ain't and won't ever be like that with you though."

"Why?"

"Because I want you to be mine, and anything I think worthy of keeping will never experience disrespect, not from me and definitely not from the next muthafucka."

Again, I felt flustered, making me tuck my hair behind my ear. His comments mixed with the liquor had begun to affect things below the waist, and that was a huge problem, especially in dealing with a nigga as fertile as his ass.

We finished off dinner, him convincing me to try the double chocolate cheesecake that I only agreed to if we shared it. He was all too happy to oblige.

Once inside the car, he asked, "Is this gon' continue, baby, or you trying to get home?"

"Trying to spend all night with me?"

"As long as I can since you claim you ain't gon' see a nigga ever again after this first date."

"It's already midnight," I said, shocking myself. We'd arrived at the restaurant five after eight. "How long are you trying to continue?"

The food didn't take forever at all, so it was clear we spent a lot of time talking. I legit spent over three hours talking to a man I couldn't stand to even look at a month ago. Even worse, I enjoyed it and wasn't ready to go.

"Few years."

"Cemone." I cocked my head. Honestly, I had rehearsal in the morning, but because I had to stay true to our deal and wasn't ready to stop kicking it with him, I would sacrifice a little of my sleep.

Running his hand down his face in distress, he looked my way, saying, "I'm serious, Yolani."

The way he said my name…

Noticing the look in his eyes, I replied, "I can't. I have to be at rehearsal early, so I need to get back home."

He eyed me for a bit, then nodded, starting his car.

"That nigga bet not still be there." He sped off.

"If he is?"

"I'm gon' beat his ass," he stated seriously. "I don't like how he be looking at you, policing you, none of that shit, especially when I feel like you mine and that's my muthafuckin' job."

Due to the seriousness of his tone, I decided not to remind him that he wasn't my man. He was so convinced that I figured maybe I was missing something which was the reason I wasn't as sure about him.

We made it to my home, and thankfully, I saw my kitchen light off, so I knew Avery was gone. He always turned my kitchen light off, no matter how many times I told him I liked to leave it on all night.

"He's not here," I announced to Cemone with a smile, just before he got out and rounded the vehicle to help me out.

Keeping my hand locked in his, we tread slowly to my door, neither of us wanting the night to be over just yet; however, only he was willing to reveal that.

I couldn't admit to having any feelings for him. Every man of my past had dogged me out, and they were at least initially much nicer than Cemone. They hid their hands until the right time. Cemone, however, showed his true colors day one, so if he played me, I would have no one to blame but myself. You couldn't touch fire then become angry when you got burned.

"Aye." He tugged my hand, bringing me back to him. His hands circled my waist, and I let them. It was the last time, so why not? "One more." His eyes dropped to my lips as if he were contemplating kissing me again.

"What? Date?" I inquired, and when he nodded, I exhaled heavily. "Why? Why do you want to take me out again? Because no matter how nice you are or how much time you spend with me, Cemone, I physically cannot have sex with you. I won't." I tried to move his arms from being around me, but he wouldn't allow it.

Being this close to his fine ass made me feel like I was about to lose all my motor skills and do some shit I didn't need to. He smelled too good, looked too good, and his sex appeal was off the fucking charts. The nigga looked like good sex. But I would never. Sleeping with him would plummet my self-esteem again when he proved to be the nigga he'd always shown me he was.

"I haven't thought about fucking you in weeks, love." When I gave him a look, he added, "I mean, I have, but it's been a minute since it was at the forefront of a nigga's mind. I be so focused on whether or not you gon' hit a nigga back when I text or call you, if you gon' have some fucking free time for a nigga, if you gon' be in town, and if you are, will you finally fucking let me see yo' ass, be around you, I ain't had the time to get to the sex shit."

I was speechless because I wasn't expecting that to be his answer. I had to look away for a quick second to get myself together so I wouldn't concede as he so kindly predicted earlier.

"So even if you knew that there is less than a one percent chance of you fucking me, you'd still wanna take me out?"

"Absolutely." He damn near cut me off. There was no hesitation present. "I always beat the odds, but on top of that, ain't shit sexier than being in the presence of a woman who don't let just any nigga experience that presence. So whatever the fuck you willing to give a nigga, I want it. All of it for as long as you'll let me access that shit." Pressing his lips to my neck and sending shockwaves down my abdomen, he said lowly, "I promise I ain't on what you think I am." His hands ventured to my ass where he got a good grip, and I didn't stop him, though I should have. "I been wanting to do that since I first seen you."

When his lips traveled up my jaw, I replied, "One more."

"I got my kids for the rest of the weekend and up until Wednesday when I leave town for a game. But I'll be back Friday and can make whatever happen, love."

I simply nodded, hating how everything he said continuously debunked all my theories about him.

" H ey!" I called out through my parents' big ass house, before venturing to the den where my father and Yailey were.

"Lani!" Yailey waved for me to come sit down.

Giggling, I went to join her and my father on the couch after kissing his cheek.

"What y'all doing?" I asked, noticing my dad turning the TV down just as my mom came in.

"Hey. This little outfit is cute. Did you get me one?" she asked like always.

"Ma, no. These shorts are too short for you."

"Are they?" She looked at my dad, and he shook his head with a salacious smirk.

"Perfect length for you in my humble opinion."

"Y'all, please. Ugh." I scoffed then laughed as Yailey fake gagged.

"How was your date?" he asked, catching me off guard.

"Does Avery tell you everything?"

"He does, as he should. I thought we talked about this, Yolani?" His brows furrowed.

"We did, and my sentiments are the same," I half lied. "You act like I'm about to marry the man or even be his girlfriend."

I was straddling the fence at this point. Some moments, I would be convincing myself that I should just give the man some pussy and get him out of my system. Then I would wise up and realize that was the last thing I needed to be doing.

"You say that now and then you wake up in his bed." My mom nodded at me knowingly. If anyone knew me, it was my mama.

"Um, no." I laughed. "I will tell you like I told him, it ain't gonna ever happen."

"I said that to Darrell, then next thing I knew, I was smiling in wedding pictures with you in my belly," she replied.

"Your weak will has nothing to do with me," I said.

"Oh, but it does, because you're from my gene pool, in case you forgot."

"Okay, ladies." My dad interrupted. "I want you to understand, sweetheart, that even if you hate the man, being around him is career suicide. Cemone has a terrible reputation, and how do you think your fans will feel seeing you associate with a violent man who is known to neglect his children?"

"Dad—"

"I'm serious and I am right, Yolani, and you know it. And not just your fans but brands as well. Once they see what type of company you keep, no one will be willing to support you. You are your own person, yes, but you have an image to uphold. It's not fair, but it comes with the territory."

He preached everything I already knew. The same shit I had preached to Cemone when he said he didn't give a fuck what people thought. The downside to fame was that you had to give a fuck.

"Nothing to worry about, old man." I feigned disinterest. "Yailey, let's go out for some ice cream."

"And to the mall?" she quizzed.

"Sure. I will see what I can do." I scrunched my face, making her giggle excitedly.

My security was off for the day, and I wasn't someone who could go to public places alone anymore, something so small but mighty. I missed being able to just hop up and go somewhere versus having to call my security, driver and then going.

As for the ice cream parlor, I was cool with the owner, so all I had to do was tell her I was coming, and she would take care of Yailey and me.

As my little sister hopped up, I quickly got the fuck out of there so I could dead this conversation with my parents.

I initially thought toying with Cemone here and there would be harmless, but he was proving to have made an impression on me, and if I continued to spend time with him, I knew an attachment would soon form.