Chapter Forty

CHAPTER

FORTY

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C AN YOU STOP STARING AT EVERYONE LIKE YOU WANT TO kill them?" I jab Cayden hard enough to feel it under the two layers of clothing. Half of his face is covered, but his glare still manages to draw attention.

"And what if I do want to kill everyone here?"

I look up at him, letting a smile spread across my lips. "Then I'd tell you to wait a few hours and I'll help."

Ice is replaced by fire when his eyes rake over me, and my heart flips in my chest. "You are the most exquisite creature I've ever met."

His words ignite something in me, and I can't help but reciprocate the sentiment. The silver and black doublet he wears and matching mask that tilts up like horns pump a darkly enchanting aura into the air. Being in his presence is like getting lost in a land of wonder and danger, and I never want to be found.

The field before the castle is filled with a series of tents encompassing a show of riches for guests to marvel at. We enter the final tent, the signal for Finnian, Saskia, and Ryder to head off toward the dungeon. No goodbyes were exchanged, opting for a simple " Don't die " as we left the inn and took our parting glances.

Thus far we've walked through tents filled with cakes that looked too pretty to eat—I swear one had pink butterflies that moved between layers. We've seen enormous jewels, fountains of sparkling wine, tapestries embroidered with legends of the gods, and hand-painted masks available for anyone who forgot theirs. But I have no need for them; Saskia managed to find a white mask that shimmers like starlight and resembles two wings fanning away from my face. She also took the time to weave matching pearls into my hair after pinning the front pieces back.

The air in the final tent is damp, and a wave of color washes over me, stealing the breath from my lungs when the scent of spring engulfs me. It's as if we've walked into a rainbow sea. Everywhere I turn in this greenhouse has bright and beautiful flowers; some have bloomed in shades I've never seen. Vines littered with candles and light pink flowers drape from the ceiling, and I reach up to drag my finger down a silky petal. I've always adored the way they feel between my fingertips.

But it's a distraction, nothing more. That's made apparent when we reach the end and are engulfed by the night air again. Anxiety pricks my skin like thousands of needles, and I lock my eyes on the obsidian east tower. Just a bit longer and that's where I'll be. Failure isn't an option. The pathway leading up to the castle is made of the same white stone as the bridges in Zinambra, a path cloaked in purity to hide the corruption as we approach.

My nerves engage in a battle with bloodlust, surging through me like a cavalry charge. I'm submerged in my past, drowning in it. Vines shoot from the shadowy depths, wrapping around my ankles to pull me under. This castle is a prison, a cage, it's the root of my nightmares. I want to leave here as quickly as possible.

"Stop worrying about me," I say, feeling Cayden's eyes on me.

"Worrying about you has become second nature." I squeeze his bicep as we continue walking. "I'll make sure you get what you want, no matter how bloody or godless."

"You sound sure of yourself. Have you forgotten that Garrick isn't a small threat?" As much as I loathe to admit it, Garrick rules with an iron fist.

"Nothing easy is worth doing," he replies, cutting himself off briefly to hand our invitations to the awaiting servant. Thank the gods for these masks. We glide past the guards standing beside the entrance, none of them aware they're letting the lost princess and the enemy commander inside their hallowed halls. "Garrick is a tyrant. He has influence but he's not as strategic as he believes. Power is chaos if you don't know how to wield it."

"You speak as if you're a servant to power."

"Power kneels to me, love." His dark chuckle dances along my neck. "You wish to reduce this place to ash or rip it apart stone by stone? Done. I'll be right there with you."

I absorb the decadent décor and obnoxious displays of wealth as we slowly make our way to the ballroom. Dark portraits of the Seren Mountains and Imirath's victories decorate the walls painted with tiny gold dragons. My dragons. Garrick has never called himself the dragon king, but it certainly seems that's how he wishes to be perceived.

I tear my eyes away. "I wish to show the world the claws I grew when they clipped my wings."

All the injustices I suffered will be answered with justice, but they will stand trial in my court. I'd never consider myself forgiving when it comes to righting wrongs. I don't mistake myself for being morally pristine or righteous by any means, but the world turned away as I suffered. Perhaps one day I'll be able to put my blades down, but it certainly won't be in the near future.

Silver and gold ribbons rain down from the ceiling and are wrapped around the pillars throughout the ballroom. Cayden and I find a modicum of privacy beside one after accepting wine from an eager servant. Several castle guards are present, but none are the impostors I'm looking for. We pass the time by people-watching mostly in silence; occasionally I make up an elaborate story about some couples and partygoers. Cayden rolls his eyes and mutters about my dramatics, and yet he's the one who begins pointing people out and asking for more.

"Is there a table we can set these on?" I ask, gesturing to the chalice in my hand as a woman in a dark purple gown with a high gold collar glides down the steps with a rolled-up scroll.

But a servant cuts in before Cayden has the chance to reply. "Is the wine not to your liking, miss?"

Cayden takes a step closer, placing his hand on my back while I sigh and smile. "It's too much to my liking, unfortunately." I drag his hand to my front to cover my belly. "I won't be having it for quite some time."

"Congratulations to you both!" She takes my goblet and adds it to her tray. "Would you care for a different drink, sir?"

He shakes his head, managing to give some semblance of a kind smile. "I'm refraining from drinking in solidarity with my wife." That damn word makes me shiver like I'm an abandoned temple braving a windstorm.

"That's lovely." A smile spreads across her face as she glances between us. "I hope you enjoy your evening."

I relax against him once the servant is out of sight. Just a bit more performing and we'll be free. The urge to sprint to the dragon chamber is overwhelming.

"Tell me how your evening is, wife ?" He tightens his arm around my waist, pulling me closer.

"That depends on if you'll dance with me to pass the time, husband. "

"That can be arranged, though I thoroughly enjoyed another dance we shared. If you recall, you were on my lap and in far less clothing." Images of the brothel flash in my mind, and a fierce blush creeps along my skin as I try to squirm away. "Don't be bashful. That's how we made Elowen II."

"Shut your mouth," I huff, giving up the fight and relaxing against him again as his laughter vibrates against my back.

The woman finishes her descent, stopping on the midway platform and raising her voice above the chatter. "Esteemed guests of King Garrick Atarah, we wish to welcome you to Imirath's masquerade ball! Tonight is a celebration like no other and marks the beginning of a prosperous friendship." The crowd begins to cheer, and I wrap my hand around Cayden's wrist. "Lords and ladies, please welcome our fierce leader, the head of our armies, the protector of the kingdom, the true and only claimant to the throne of Imirath—King Garrick Atarah!"

Noise is drowned out when I see him again, and Cayden's arm keeps me from falling. But it's not fear rushing through me, it's shock. I thought seeing him would be worse than seeing the castle . . . but he's merely a man, not the monster with claws my mind remembers. Any man can be killed, even a king. Some people view monarchs as invincible, but all humans bleed the same. Garrick's long black hair has streaks of gray, and when he removes his mask to address the crowd, his gaze isn't even menacing. It almost makes me want to laugh.

He never remarried after my mother was burned to death, but I note his mannerisms. He's always scared; perhaps he fears the day that the ghost of me will come back to haunt him. But I wait in the shadows to strike, and when I do, I'll sink my fangs so deep into his veins that no healer will be able to stop the venom.

"Have you ever wanted the Imirath throne?" Cayden asks.

"No. I could never live here," I answer without any hesitation or regret. "Though I suppose I should start thinking about where I'll go after the war."

"Why must you go anywhere?"

"I don't have a permanent place in Vareveth. Galakin seems interesting, I suppose." I need a long-term solution for my people. Eagor won't continue sending food once the war is over, and I've changed too much to happily return to Aestilian. The world is too vast for me to stay hidden in a tiny corner. There's far too much liberation once I let go of my shame for existing.

Cayden stiffens behind me. "Do you want a permanent place?"

"I—" I crane my neck to look at him, but his eyes remain on Garrick. "I haven't thought about it."

I shake off my thoughts, burying them in a place where even I won't find them. Garrick raises his hand to quiet the crowd, stepping forward to speak. Thank the gods for my mask because there's no hiding the suspicion marring my features. He hasn't taken his throne on the platform, and it seems he's preparing to make an announcement.

Garrick's voice booms throughout the ballroom like thunder. "Lords and ladies, before I properly thank you for traveling to Zinambra to attend these festivities, I'd like to introduce the reason we're gathered in celebration. It is with the utmost pleasure that I announce Queen Aveline and King Fallon Lilura of Thirwen!"

Another round of cheers begins as the rulers join us, both adorned by silver attire tailored in Imirath's liking. They're a magical kingdom, same as Galakin. Imirath hasn't outlawed magic, but it's not as woven into the culture, which is part of the reason they hate having Vareveth on their border. Before Eagor took the throne, magic was rampant in his kingdom; now it's only found by those who know where to seek it. Cayden clearly does, and I'll get the information out of him one day.

I've always found it strange how people seek to judge what they don't know rather than taking the time to appreciate new things. I wonder how different the world would be if people ceased thinking the unknown is a threat. People remain ignorant when they don't open their minds to new teachings. They remain frozen in time like a statue while everything progresses around them.

"You suspected this, didn't you?" I ask.

"Who do you think arranged for the rulers of Galakin to attend the alliance ball?"

"Clever."

He sighs. "I still don't understand why that surprises you."

Guards flank Garrick and the rulers of Thirwen as they make their way to the dais and the chords for the first dance are played. A blur of tulle and velvet rushes into position, eager to perform for their king. Cayden slips his hand into mine, tugging me toward the festivities and bowing when I curtsy. He sweeps me into motion and leads me through the dance made of three circles; the middle one moves in the opposite direction of the other two. We pivot and glide until the dance ends and Cayden dips me low, keeping us in this position for an extended beat of time.

"You hate dancing," I whisper.

He gives me a half smile. "You're my only exception."

"You're secretly kind," I say as he straightens us up, brushing the pearl-laced curls behind my shoulders and lightly caressing my neck.

"I despise seeing you in the arms of another man and wish death upon each and every one, not caring if they're good people." His dimples deepen. "Better?"

I roll my eyes, turning away before he can see my smile. All eyes are on Garrick, who has his goblet extended to toast the evening.

"The kingdom of Imirath is honored to align with the kingdom of Thirwen, though it deeply saddens me to express why this alliance is needed." He makes a show of placing his hand over where his heart should be. "Princess Elowen Atarah, my lost daughter, has come out of hiding years after murdering your queen to align with our enemy! She has spilled Atarah blood and will die for going against it."

I'm right here, Father.

Put a blade in your hands and I'll show you just how well I can spill Atarah blood.

"With the aid of Thirwen, we will find a way to break her bond to the dragons. The dragon princess, the demon commander, and the puppet king will be nothing but a memory."

I glare up at him, imagining all the ways a man can be killed.

Garrick raises his goblet. "To the alliance!"

"To the alliance!" the crown echoes. People drink deeply and couples on the dance floor cling to their partners as their cheers bounce against the walls and windows. Garrick gestures for a second dance to begin and asks Queen Aveline for her hand.

"Ryder is here," Cayden whispers.

Thank the gods. I loop my arm through his and he leads me off the dance floor to where Ryder is playing the part of an Imirath guard perfectly. My adrenaline surges with every footfall I take away from Garrick and closer to my dragons.

This is it.

It's the moment I've waited fifteen years for.

"So clumsy," Cayden chastises, setting me down on the cushioned bench Ryder stands beside. He kneels before me and takes my boot-clad ankle in his hand. "Guard, would you mind looking at my wife's ankle? She seems to have sprained it while dancing."

Ryder moves from his spot and kneels beside Cayden, speaking quickly and quietly, "We arranged the meeting successfully and forged the travel papers. I don't know how much time you have before the guards catch on, so get to the first stairwell through this archway—your swords and axes are stashed there."

"Is everyone all right?" I ask.

Ryder nods. "Finnian and Saskia are securing a boat and we'll be heading home right away." His eyes snag on Cayden, and the anguish he feels knowing he must leave him behind is apparent. "Don't be an idiot."

"Likewise, brother," Cayden responds.

"I still owe you a drink, sunshine. You can't die with debts, it's a bad look for the soul." Ryder's eyes find mine. "Go get those damn dragons."