Chapter Thirty-Eight

CHAPTER

THIRTY-EIGHT

_________

T HIS IS THE BEST YOU COULD COME UP WITH ?"

I was correct.

I hate the plan.

"This plan is foolproof," Ryder argues, and Finnian adamantly nods behind him.

I glance at Saskia for some assistance, but she shrugs, looks me up and down, and says, "You know I hate to agree with them, but you look amazing. Cayden might have a heart attack, but it's all in good fun."

I roll my eyes. "Why can't any of you do this?"

"Because you, my darling, demonstrated your acting capabilities when we crossed the bridge," Finnian adds.

"Your support is truly admirable." I flick his hands off my shoulders. The cold is biting into my exposed skin and I'm tired of arguing. I just want to get this over with. "Enjoy the show."

"Channel that night at the brothel, sunshine," Ryder jests as I shove the door to the tavern open.

"I'm going to channel my knife in your eye socket, Neredras." I blow him a kiss.

I turn away from the three of them grinning like children in a sweet shop and focus on the mission. If I'm going to do this, there's no way in hells I'm failing. It's for the dragons, I remind myself as I glide toward the barkeep, resting my elbows along the dark wood and offering a sweet smile when he appears. I've charmed many men into getting what I want, and this is no different.

"What can I get you, love?" he asks, drying a pint glass with a rag and trailing his eyes across my plunging neckline.

"Honey whiskey, please."

I flick my curls over my shoulder while he fixes my drink, subtly dragging my eyes over the crowd and landing on the guard who's already looking my way while sitting in a black leather booth beneath a drooping fishing net. He's admiring my gold gown that leaves little to the imagination, between the intricate cutouts along my torso and the thin fabric that shimmers in the dim light. I offer him a coy smile when he finds my face again and turn forward as if I'm nervous he caught me.

"For you, my lady," says the barkeep, placing my drink in front of me with a mock bow. His flirty demeanor makes my smile briefly authentic. I take a small sip of the liquid courage as a shadow cloaks me and an arm covered in purple fabric with a trident spearing a crown sewn into the cuff rests against the bar.

"Is it safe to assume you're here for the ball?" His voice is smooth, confident.

"Why do you ask?"

"I'm wondering if I'll be lucky enough for our paths to cross twice."

I bite the inside of my cheek to refrain from cringing, the demure smile remaining on my lips. "And who says they're crossing tonight?"

"I pray the gods they do." He laughs and steps a bit closer. "What's your name?"

"Faye."

"Would you like to sit down, Faye?"

No. "Yes, that would be lovely . . ."

"Evrin."

I grab my whiskey and slide my arm through the one he extends as the door to the tavern opens. Goosebumps speckle my skin, but it has nothing to do with the icy wind that filters in. I feel his presence, it's like a sixth sense. When I peek a glance at Cayden, his glare is zoned in on where my hand rests on Evrin's arm. I've seen him angry, but this is different. He knows how to control his anger, but unpredictability and bloodlust pump off him. Ryder looks both elated and terrified when Cayden cranes his neck.

"Bad luck for him. You're with me, beautiful," Evrin says, pulling me away.

"Something like that."

I try to tell myself this is a good reminder for where we stand with each other. Cayden is with me for my dragons and I'm with him for his army, but it's getting harder to remember that by the minute, especially when I hear him shove Ryder into the wall, knowing that if it were anyone else, they'd be dead. We're not supposed to be together, not supposed to feel the things we do, and it's exasperating. Sometimes it feels like nothing can keep me away from him, that we're destined to be drawn together, but the reality of our situation hurts me more than I want him to know.

Finnian manages to break them apart and forces Cayden onto a stool. He orders a whiskey, downs it like a shot, and never takes his eyes off me as his glass is refilled. I'd be lying if I said I didn't love how much power I have over him, how tortured he looks knowing this is his punishment for going out on his own in enemy territory. Thinking of what they would do to him if he was caught makes me want to prolong his misery. A task off our list is a relief, but the risk he took was unnecessary and irresponsible.

He keeps his hood up, and the shadows cloaking his face make me feel like I'm toying with death itself.

I smirk.

He grinds his jaw.

"Do you know him?" Evrin asks.

I bring my whiskey to my lips, making sure Cayden notes my drink of choice. "No. He's not the type of man I usually acquaint myself with."

Cayden sneers at me, and it sends a chill up my spine. I return my focus to Evrin, trailing my fingers across his shoulders while subtly inching back. No matter how much I want Cayden to wallow, I despise getting close to this man. Part of me wants to stab him and be done with all this bother and fuss. I laugh when I must, making sure he believes I'm enraptured by his humor. My eyes light up as he talks about his promotions within the castle, and I make sure to blush when he covers my tab and orders another whiskey for me.

I tip my head back, subtly pushing my breasts up and sweeping the curls off my neck. A stool scrapes across the floor but I pay it no mind, envisioning my dragons to get through this last bit. I'm tired of the arm around my shoulders that makes me want to scrub my skin and the thigh pressing into mine that feels so damn wrong.

"Are you warm?" Evrin asks.

"Terribly," I huff, pouting my lips. "Would you like to step outside with me?"

His smirk makes my skin crawl, and he helps me to my feet, pressing a hand far lower than appropriate. "I'd love to."

My fingers graze the hilt of my dagger as he opens the door and leads us down the steps, nearly shoving me to the alley beside the tavern and tucking us behind some barrels in the darkest corner possible. "Gods, I've wanted to do this since I saw you."

I spin on my heels, but a pair of hands wrap around Evrin's head and quickly twist until a sharp crack echoes throughout the small space. He collapses, revealing Cayden with that damn hood still up.

"I was going to kill him," I say, but my argument is breathless.

"Of that I have no doubt." He steps over him like a puddle, coming so close I can smell the essence of his masculine scent. "But I wanted the honor of snapping his neck myself. Would've prolonged it if I could get blood on the uniform."

"He hardly touched me."

"Oh, love." He chuckles. "Even if a man even hardly touches you, it'll be the last thing he does in this life. I told you not to make me into a better man than I am. For you, Elowen, I'll become the worst version of myself."

"Don't say things like that." I fist my dress to stop myself from touching him. "This was just a mission. We needed a guard uniform, and I did what I had to do."

"As did I."

"I'm not yours, Cayden. I can't be yours." My voice is as thin as a frozen lake on the first days of spring. "I know the lines have been blurred—"

"That line has been decimated long before you realized."

"We're allies. We work together. Your king forbids—"

He growls, backing me up against the tavern and placing his hands on either side of my head, forcing me to look up at him. "Why do you believe I would let anything keep me from you? I've searched for you since I was a boy, when the whole world thought you were dead, when it seemed hopeless—I searched for you."

My heart speeds up at his confession. "F-for my power."

"Don't be a fool, Elowen." He shakes his head, wrapping one hand around my chin. "We've become deeper than power. You've driven me to madness. You haunt me while I sleep and you're there when I wake. Your presence is agonizing and yet I'll beg for the pain if it means I can have a moment with you."

"You're not being fair!" I shove my hands into his chest, but he doesn't move. "This is cruel, Cayden."

He runs his fingers through my hair, his eyes softening a fraction. "Careful, angel. Your glare doesn't sting as much as it usually does."

I glance at his mouth. "It stings you?"

"Deeply." He drops his face closer to mine. "Your fire captivates me."

"You make yourself into a target."

"Perhaps." He slides his thumb over my lips. "But that doesn't change the fact that you are the sweetest curse bestowed upon me."

My breathing becomes shallow, and he shoves his knee between my legs when I try to press my thighs together. I subtly shift my hips, but he catches on right away and presses into me harder. I drop my head to his chest and whimper, and when his hands drop to my hips to grind me onto his leg, I don't stop him.

He murmurs my name into my hair, pinning me to the wall with one hand and teasing the slit of my dress with the other. Knowing how well he takes care of my needs has my head spinning at the possibility. "I want to bury my head between your legs before his corpse gets cold. Maybe his soul will linger to watch how I take care of my woman."

He dips his hand between my legs, sliding beneath my panties and swirling a finger on my clit. I grip his biceps and choke on a moan when he glides it inside me, pumping a few times before pulling it out and licking it clean, groaning and lifting me as he does. He places me on a barrel and pushes my dress up my thighs.

"I never wanted him to touch me." I don't know why I say it, but when I think of Cayden doubting me, it hurts.

"I know, love," he softly states. "But you want me to touch you?"

"Yes."

He pulls my panties down my legs and tucks them into his pocket. "Lean back and keep these pretty thighs open for me."

My body is stiff with adrenaline and the pleasure I've been denying myself, and I squirm when he bares me to the cold air while sinking to his knees. He yanks my hips forward and throws my legs over his shoulders. "So perfect, in every damn way."

The first lick sends a full-body tremor through me, and I thread my fingers through his hair while my head rolls against the wall. He licks as if I've starved him of his favorite meal, and he's worried he'll never get another taste. He savors me, devours me, and dips his fingers inside to slowly pump my pleasure. He's taking his time, not rushing or caring that we're in enemy territory.

Noises of pleasure fly freely from my lips, and I do my best to keep quiet, but it's so hard when it seems like he knows exactly where I need him. "Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about what you would taste like when I bury my head between your thighs."

His tongue twists and flicks, and my back arches off the wall. I'm a panting, pleading mess, just as he wants me. He groans against me when I roll my hips onto his face, so greedy for him I can't think straight.

"You," he pants, "are so fucking sweet."

He yanks on my thighs, pulling me farther off the barrel and pushing me wider. His mouth closes around my clit and he sucks, having to reach up to cover my mouth and muffle my scream and the noise of protest that follows when he pulls his mouth off me.

"You know I love your noises, angel, but I need you to keep them down a bit because if someone comes looking, I'll have to stop to kill them, and neither of us wants that."

"I'm sorry," I pant when he pulls his hand away.

He shakes his head. "I've never been obsessed with anything." He presses a finger onto my clit, and I swear I see stars. "But this." His tongue dips low, teasing my entrance. "You." He begins placing sloppy kisses on me again and I'm so close to surrendering to all he's doing to me. "I'm a fucking goner."

He adds a third finger, curling them to reach exactly where my sweet spots are. "Cayden, I . . . I'm—"

His hand shoots up again to muffle my screams as my hips spasm, and he continues licking me through my wave of pleasure. It's earth-shattering and all encompassing.

He kisses up my body once he's done, replacing his hand with his lips and snaking his tongue into my mouth. It's sweet and slow, and I know he doesn't expect anything from me, but that's precisely why I grab hold of his shoulders and shove him into the wall behind us. Our kisses become heated, and I reach for his belt.

"Elowen, if you so much as graze my cock with your finger, I'm going to bend you over a barrel." A tortured growl claws from his lips when I don't stop unfastening the clasps. "The first time I fuck you isn't going to be somewhere I have to stifle your screams and don't have time to memorize every place you love to be touched."

I hand him his sword once I get his belt off and slide my hands up his chest, wrapping my arms around his shoulders to murmur against his lips, "Is your control slipping, soldier?" He lets out a shuddering breath. "Are you worried you won't be able to handle me?"

He fists the fabric around my hips, eyes blazing hot. "I think I'm the only man who can handle whatever you throw at him and happily take it."

"Prove it." I palm him over his pants and suck on his bottom lip. His eyes roll back in his head before he slips them shut, and I slide kisses down his neck. The way he shivers against me is invigorating. "Do you want my mouth?"

"Fuck," he rasps. "Yes."

"Hmm." I slowly undo the laces holding his pants up and stroke his length when it springs free. "Did it make you murderous when you saw me with that guard? Did it torture you when you thought about his hands on—"

"You little tease." He tightly fists my hair and pulls my face to his again. "Get on your knees like a good girl and open your mouth."

He keeps his hand in my hair while I sink in front of him; the cold stone bites into my skin but adds to the essence of depravity. He's far larger than anyone I've been with, but I don't grant him the satisfaction of telling him. I dart my tongue out, lightly dusting it from base to tip, and wrapping my lips around the head before popping it out.

I want to make a mess of him. The man who's always in control. I want to be his undoing. He stares down at me like he'd cut off his sword hand if I asked.

I continue fisting him while tracing my tongue along the veins on his shaft before taking him in my mouth. He covers his face with his hand, tilting it back against the tavern and letting out a series of curses through gritted teeth. Hollowing my cheeks, I quicken my pace, bobbing my head, wanting to earn more moans from him.

"That's it, love. You look so beautiful on your knees."

His reaction to me has me pressing my thighs together despite my core still throbbing from what he did to me mere moments ago. The awe in his eyes while he looks down at me has me pushing forward, taking more of him until I'm gagging.

"Fucking gods, woman." I dig my nails into his hips, urging him to thrust into me. "Too perfect."

I moan around his cock when his grip in my hair gets tighter and his thrusts get sloppy. My lips tighten around him, and my hand pumps at the rhythm I've learned he loves. It's not long before he's groaning my name and spilling down my throat, and I work him until he leans back against the wall, panting and cursing. He lifts me off the ground and places me on the barrel, rubbing my knees after he tucks himself back into his pants. I rest against his chest, and he massages the roots of my hair while placing his cheek on my head. He unties his cloak and wraps it around my bare shoulders, running his hands along my arms to warm me.

We don't move for a few moments, listening to the water in the canal lapping against the buildings and catching our breath. He kisses my hair a few times before tilting my chin up and placing a tender one on my lips. I don't care that there's nothing to blame this moment on other than our own wants. I'm in Imirath. We're going to free my dragons. I'm too tired to analyze why I can't want him and can only revel in having him right now.

"I didn't know I had a soul until you stole it from me," he says. I laugh in response, kissing him again as he lifts me from the barrel and sets me on my feet. "Where the hells did you find the dress and heels?"

"Saskia nabbed them from a showgirl's bag when she wasn't looking, but I want to get my leathers from her before heading back to the inn." Walking around in this dress is sure to earn too much unwanted attention. "I got a guard uniform, though!"

"And seven years off my life." He leans down to kiss me again, but I'm abruptly shoved behind him when someone whistles at the mouth of the alley.

"Well, don't you look adorably disheveled," Ryder says, stopping beside the corpse. " Gods, how depraved are you two?"

I roll my eyes. "All we did was argue."

"That's foreplay for us." Cayden leans down to whisper it, and I pinch his arm.

"Whatever you say." Ryder crouches beside the guard to remove the purple tunic and black polished boots. "Lipstick always ends up on my neck after an argument, too."