Chapter Two

CHAPTER

TWO

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E VERYONE MUST HAVE HEARD THE NETHERWRAITH'S GROWL because most occupants are elbowing each other to get to the exit. My gaze whips around the room, trying to find Finnian through the commotion. It's not the first time I haven't been able to spot him, but the uneasy feeling that accompanies his absence never goes away. We've agreed to always meet up at our starting point rather than waste time trying to find one another in chaos.

My body pushes against the crowd that's moving toward the attic entrance. The soldier must be of high rank if others are rushing to his aid. Not that it seemed like he would need assistance. He oozed a lethal calm that only seasoned soldiers master after years of fighting.

If that's the case, it won't take him long to kill a wounded netherwraith. I must get to the clearing early tomorrow to ensure he arrives alone. A calming wave washes over my anxiety when I spot Finnian sitting on his horse. The reins to mine lie in the palm of his hand.

"I was about to come in and look for you." He drops the reins once I'm close enough. "A netherwraith?"

"Yes. A huge one," I answer while swinging myself up. Thunder booms above us as a growl turns into a whimper, and the attic goes silent. The soldier killed the netherwraith, and we haven't even left yet.

"I don't know if I want to ask this, but how much shit did you get into?" Finnian asks.

"No more than the usual amount." Lies. I think I've just gotten myself into an immeasurable amount of shit. I turn my horse toward the gates and nudge her in the side.

"If you run, I'll find you."

Chills snake up my spine, but it's not from the rain this time. I don't turn around, but I swear I can feel the heat of his gaze branding my back through the attic window. We keep pushing our horses through the dark, rain-sodden forest until I'm sure nobody has followed us.

"There isn't a single place in this world where you can hide from me, you understand?"

Another chill creeps up my spine.

We make it to the edge of the Terrwyn before we slow our horses. The rushing water of the Caleum River signals the start of our ascent up the mountainside. I dismount from my horse and bring her over for a quick drink after sprinting for the last hour.

I haven't stopped gnawing on my bottom lip since we left the tavern, and I taste the coppery blood on my tongue. There are too many thoughts flashing through my head. Too many possible scenarios that could end with me dying, or worse, back in an Imirath cell. I crouch by the river to splash cool water on my already freezing face before sliding my hands up and tangling them in the roots of my damp hair.

Just breathe.

In and out. In and out.

Find a way to control the situation before it controls you.

I sense Finnian's presence beside me before he opens his mouth. "You're going to need stitches if you keep biting your lip like that."

A halfhearted chuckle falls from my lips. "What did you find out?"

He sighs while sinking into a squat beside me and running his fingers over an arrow. "Their commander is making them look for something, but they didn't say what."

"They're looking for me, Finnian," I whisper. He sinks his fingers into the muddy riverbank to keep himself from toppling over.

"Most of the continent, the world, thinks you're dead," he protests. "The assassins your father sent only found you outside our borders and stopped several years ago." A total of four assassination attempts occurred while I was wandering around unnamed villages when Finnian and I got separated.

"Most," I reason.

"Did you learn that from spying, or was someone in the attic with you?"

I'm careful with my words. "A male soldier followed me."

"Does he know you're the lost princess?" Finnian demands, shooting up and towering over me.

"No," I say while getting to my feet. He still towers over me, but Finnian towers over everyone.

"All I got out of him is that Vareveth is looking for the Atarah heir. The netherwraith cut the conversation short before I could learn more." Finnian visibly relaxes at my clarification. Guilt eats at me for keeping the meeting hidden from him. I know it's unwise to go alone, but I can't put Finnian at risk of an ambush. I don't trust the soldier; therefore, I won't bring Finnian around him. "What else did you hear from the soldiers on the lower level?" I ask, both out of curiosity and to take the attention off me.

"Vareveth is set on war. They're tired of making attempts at peace."

"They finally have a commander who knows you can't make peace with a tyrant. Good for them." Sarcasm drips from my every word.

Finnian continues while I walk over to where the horses nuzzle against each other, "They'll be in this part of the continent for about two more weeks. Their commander is with them—apparently he has a scar on his face that gives him away."

My blood chills, and I swear I stop breathing for a moment, my heart pounding like a war drum at the center of my chest, much like it did against the floorboards. It's a small blessing my back is to Finnian.

I was face-to-face with the Commander of Vareveth.

I held a knife to his throat.

Oh gods, I kneed the most feared warlord on the continent in the balls.

I suppress the deranged laugh that bubbles in my throat and resort to softly snickering as I grab the reins of Finnian's horse.

"The army is also pissed at King Eagor for not doing something against Imirath sooner," Finnian adds.

I stop a few feet before him and mentally prepare for how he'll react to what I say next. "I must do something about the food supply in Aestilian."

He flinches when he registers what I'm saying. "We can find another way."

Vareveth is a well-established kingdom. If I strike a deal with them, I can include sending food to Aestilian as one of the terms. "We're out of time. People are going to starve to death once the first frost hits. The rations are already dwindling."

We send out raids to bring supplies back to Aestilian. I only allow them to take from smugglers already traveling with stolen goods, but what we'll get is never guaranteed. We also have skilled hunters, but there is too much snow in the winter for them to get out of Aestilian safely. The population continues to grow, and every day that passes is another nail in the coffin of my sanity and puts my people at greater risk.

"Once you make yourself known, your father will never stop until he kills you."

"I can't hide forever. Tonight made that apparent," I state.

"They haven't found Aestilian," Finnian counters as his cheeks redden in anger.

"No, but there's a chance they might." My mind flashes to a sight only my nightmares have conjured—houses and stores burned to the ground, grief-stricken faces, my people fighting for their lives against an army with far more skill and weapons, children screaming for their parents, parents screaming for their children. "I won't wait until someone drags me from Aestilian. I'll leave on my terms after bargaining for a deal I want."

"I won't lose another sibling!" Finnian's hands shake at his sides, and his nostrils flare. His eyes blink rapidly, fighting to keep back his tears.

My temper dwindles. Finnian and I can yell at each other loud enough to wake a sleeping god, but once one of us cracks—it's over. My hands drop the reins, and I rush toward him, wrapping my arms around his torso and placing my cheek on the slick leather that covers his chest. His chin rests on top of my head while he wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer. Finnian rarely talks about the family he had before he came to Aestilian, just as I rarely talk about what happened to me in Imirath. But sometimes, when the darkness of night conjured up memories without our consent, we were always there to hold the broken pieces of each other together.

"You won't lose me, Finnian."

He sharply sniffles above me. "You've never been the Atarah heir to me."

That's why I love you.

"But that's who I am," I softly state.

"No. You're the girl who squishes fruit in the kitchen to make jam and gets excited over books," Finnian mumbles while giving me a squeeze. I laugh softly into his chest. "I won't watch you get locked up again."

"I won't let them." I swallow the lump in my throat while pulling my head back from where it rests. My teeth sink into my cheek to keep my emotions at bay. I don't want to worry him more than he already is.

I must go to that meeting.

I won't watch Aestilian burn to the ground.

I won't be a prisoner again.

I won't let Finnian starve.

I want too much out of this life and have too much resting on my shoulders to cower in the dark. I may keep to the shadows, but I also wield them.

"Come on." I poke him in the chest. "Let's get home."