39. Wyatt

39

WYATT

S taring down at Josie's sleeping form, a pit grew in my stomach. It'd been a few hours since we laid down, but I was wide awake despite feeling exhausted. My mind wouldn't shut off. What happened tonight played like a loop in my head.

I'd just arrived at our hotel when my phone started buzzing. I thought it was just Josie texting me, or my family's group chat but, instead I was met with the headline about Josie and I. I couldn't even say it was about me at all. I was only mentioned once, it was Josie they ripped apart. Going on about where she grew up, went to school, her track accident, and her job at Fusion Weekly.

In it to further her career.

My blood boiled as I replayed what was said in the article. I spent the three-and-a-half-hour drive here vowing to find the person who wrote that article and make them regret it.

It's one thing to write about me, but Josie? It crosses so many lines.

My heart seized as I thought about Josie crying on the phone to me. The way her voice wobbled as she immediately told me it wasn't true. I didn't need her to tell me. I knew the moment I read it everything about it was false.

The image of that random guy touching her pissed me off though. He touched what was mine and I wasn't there to stop him. What if he did more to her? And then for it to be twisted that she cheated.

I knew the world would find out about Josie and me; it was just a matter of time. Plus, I didn't want to hide her from anyone. I wanted everyone to know she was mine and mine alone. I just hadn't wanted it to be this way.

I hated seeing her upset. Seeing the way her eyes were red from crying. It was my fault she was in this position to begin with. I knew how the paparazzi could be. They were like vultures. I had kind of warned Josie about them, but I hadn't fully prepared her for how it would be when they found out about us.

It was times like this that I hated who I was. Hated that reporters and people on the internet made me into something more than just a hockey player. You never saw other hockey players being followed and pictures taken of them. I've gotten used to the attention, but Josie shouldn't have too.

Josie shifted in her sleep, pulling me out of my thoughts. She turned so her back was facing me, snuggling deeper into the blankets. I didn't want to leave her, especially after everything, but I needed to get back to Buffalo for our last away game. Coach would already kill me for leaving.

I watched her sleeping for another minute, memorizing every inch of her. I realized yesterday as I ran out of the hotel still wearing my post-game suit, that I loved Josie. I've loved her for a while now—I just hadn't admitted it to myself until I drove like a mad man to reach her. I probably broke a few laws, but if it meant getting to Josie sooner, I hadn't cared.

I knew I should tell her. I should wake her up right now and tell her that I loved her. That sometimes I felt like my heart might stop when I looked at her because it's almost too much. That I'd never felt this way about someone before.

But I hesitated. All different scenarios flashing through my head. The paparazzi dragging her through the media. People sending her hate all because she was with me. Her career ruined. Josie loved her job and what if our relationship took that from her? I would never forgive myself.

I vowed to do everything in my power to prevent it. Even if it meant ripping my own heart out.

Feeling like I couldn't breathe, I knew I needed to go. As quietly as I could, I slipped out of the bed. I kept an eye on Josie, not wanting her to wake up as I pulled a shirt over my head. I quietly grabbed my phone and wallet, and a pair of shoes before I stood at the foot of the bed.

I watched her, hoping this wouldn't be the last time I saw her. Just the thought of never seeing her again made me double over like I'd been hit in the stomach. I needed to go.

Maybe the long drive back will help bring some clarity on what I need to do.

With one last glance at Josie, I slipped out of my room, leaving my heart back in that bed with her.

"I don't care if it's six in the morning," I snapped through the phone to my agent, Jerry. "I want the article taken down."

" Wyatt— " he started to say, but I cut him off.

"They can say whatever the fuck they want about me, but not her." My hands gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white. "I want her name erased completely."

"Her name is already all over the internet."

"I don't pay you millions of dollars for you to make excuses." I knew I was being a dick, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I wanted that horrible article down and I wanted it now. "They took her picture without her consent."

Jerry had been my agent since I got drafted. He's been great, making sure I get the best deal with my contracts for hockey and brand partnerships. This was the first time that I'd ever asked him to do something personal for me.

"Okay." Jerry shuffled on the other side of the phone. "I'll get in touch with the place that posted the article and threaten a lawsuit."

If anyone could get it done it was Jerry. A little bit of tension left my body, my hands unclenched the steering wheel, regaining feeling back in them.

"Thank you."

"I'll get it done." He was quiet for a moment. "Are you okay?" I knew he'd ask since I snapped at him, which I rarely do.

"I'm fine." Which was a lie. Every mile away from Josie made my chest ache. I wasn't sure what I should do anymore. When I left home, I'd thought not being with Josie was the best decision. I shouldn't drag her into this circus. Yet the thought of not being with her felt like I was being ripped into two.

"Let me know when it's done." Not wanting to talk about it, I ended the call, filling the car with silence once more.

Before my thoughts could take over, my phone rang, Landon's name flashing on the screen.

I should have known he'd be up at this hour.

"Hey," I greeted, hitting speaker phone.

"You're up early, " he commented.

"Yeah." I shifted in my seat before continuing. "I take it you read the article."

"I did. You and Josie are trending on twitter."

Of course we are.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Lan, I…" I didn't know where to start, then suddenly it all spilled out. Everything from how scared I was that something had happened to Josie when she called me. How the paparazzi bombarded her and accused her of cheating and using me. How I wasn't sure if I could let her stay in my life knowing there was a chance she could always be thrown into the media.

"You're in love with her." Landon said it so casually, like he'd known for a while.

"Yes." I didn't even try to say otherwise.

"So why are you fighting it?"

"I'm not. I?—"

"Yes, you are. You literally listed off a bunch of stupid reasons to push her away."

"They aren't stupid. You know how they can be."

"I do. All of us have dealt with the press at point or another but you get use to it. Josie will too."

"Lan I can't do that to her."

"Wyatt," Landon said with a sigh, like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I love you, but you are an idiot."

"You didn't even like Josie a few weeks ago," I shot back.

"Yeah, well, I was wrong. She's the best thing to ever happen to you, so remember that before you go and ruin it," Landon said before ending the call.

I looked at my phone with raised eyebrows.

My brother literally hung up on me.

Knowing better than to call him back, I kept my eyes on the road, his words following me the rest of the way to Buffalo.

"Dude, you're playing like shit," my teammate, Max said next to me as we sat on the bench waiting for my shift on the ice. I didn't bother with a reply. I knew I was. My head wasn't in it, not since I'd left Josie this morning.

The entire game I'd missed shots I should have made in my sleep. I even went as far as letting other players slam me into the boards. By the glare from Coach, he wasn't thrilled by my performance either.

When my shift came back, I got up to hop the board, only for Coach to step in front of me.

"You're sitting out the rest of the game." His tone left no room for discussion.

"But Coach?—"

"Sit, Boone."

I felt like a little kid being scolded as I sat back down on the bench. I couldn't blame him for keeping me out of the game. We only had four minutes left and I was letting shots go when I shouldn't be. I was just hurting the team by being out there.

I was a mess, and it was all self-inflicted.

The rest of the game Trevor and Bryton shot me looks like they too had no clue what was going on with me. When I returned from my overnight trip, I'd avoided them, not wanting to hear what they had to say about the article. Bryton had probably already heard about the whole thing from Mila.

Josie had sent me multiple texts, asking where I went. I knew she was hurt that I'd left in the middle of the night without a word. Yet, when the first message came through, I just stared at my phone, not knowing what to say. My brother's words rattled in my head, fighting for attention against the damn article.

Thankfully, the team won 2-1, maintaining our winning streak.

No thanks to me.

I was on autopilot as I changed out of my uniform and into my suit. The last thing I wanted was to go and talk to the press. When Trevor and Bryton approached me, there was nowhere for me to hide in the small locker room.

"Come on B," Trevor gestured for the door.

"We have press," I said.

I glanced around for Coach, but the two of them shook their heads.

"Already taken care of," Bryton said as the two ushered me out of the locker room. I didn't say a word as we left the arena and got into a waiting car.

"What are you guys doing?" I looked at my two best friends, wondering what they were up to.

Neither answered me as the driver drove us back to the team's hotel. When they steered me towards the bar, I was more than happy to follow. A drink sounded really good right about now.

We found a quiet spot at the back, the bartender already making our drinks.

"Care to tell us what's going on with you?" Trevor crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat.

Should have known they would bring me here to bombard me with questions.

"Haven't seen you play this bad since our first year in Uni," he added.

"Not even when you were hurt did you play this bad," Bryton said, the two of them staring at me, waiting for an explanation. The bartender placed my whiskey down and I took a long sip before answering.

"My head just wasn't in it tonight," I lied, keeping my gaze on my drink.

"Yeah, that was a shitty lie," Trevor said.

"You can do better than that," Bryton shook his head. "Everyone knows you drove to see Josie after the article. So, what happened?"

"Was Josie mad about it?" Trevor asked.

I shook my head as I took another pull of my drink. "She was a bit upset, naturally and then later seemed okay and said we would talk about it later."

"I'm struggling to find the problem," Trevor looked at me confused. "It's a good thing she was okay, so why are you acting like the world is ending?"

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are," Bryton interjected. "The paparazzi bombarded the girls at the club, which is horrible, I agree. There's an article about you guys dating and talks about her, yet she seemed okay when you saw her. What's the issue?"

"The issue?" I slammed my glass down harder than I meant too. "All of that happened because of me."

Understanding bloomed in their eyes.

"Josie knew this would happen when she started dating you," Trevor said. "She knows what your life is like."

"She didn't know they would write horrible things about her. I don't want her life turned upside down because of me. She's already dealt with enough."

"Have you asked her?"

Silence was my answer.

"Wyatt," Bryton sighed. "Josie is a grown woman. She can make her own decisions, especially decisions about her life. You're going to ruin what you have with her by deciding what you think she wants."

"How do you know what she truly thinks about all of this if you haven't spoken to her?" Trevor added.

"Because I'm not sure I'd survive if she told me she doesn't want this anymore," I said softly. The first time I'd spoken the words out loud.

"Dude," Trevor shot me a look. "We all see how she looks at you. You'd have to be blind not to see how in love with you she is. She's not going anywhere. She's literally your perfect match."

"Look," Bryton leaned forward. "I've been where you are. The press saying nasty things about your girlfriend, having to see her cry and wishing there was a way to stop it. I thought about breaking up with Mila when the hate started. Wanted to protect her any way I could even if it meant leaving her; but my life would suck more without her in it. Handling it together is a whole lot easier than handling it alone."

I remember the things people said when they found out about Bryton and Mila. The hate, the comments. Way worse than what they'd written about Josie and me.

If Bryton and Mia can make it work, then why couldn't Josie and me?

I leaned back in my seat as realization hit me.

I'm a fucking idiot.

I almost let some stupid articles ruin the best thing to ever happen to me. Letting people, I didn't even know get into my head and convince me that to make Josie happy she had to be away from me.

I really am the biggest idiot on the planet. No wonder Landon hung up on me earlier.

I needed to get home. Needed to see Josie and tell her that I loved her.

"I need to go."

My two best friends grinned and got to their feet.

"We have a plan."