Chapter Five

Remembering Reality

Adrift

Athair followed Sundair out of the grove toward a cluster of buildings that surrounded an open courtyard. A couple stood in front of one of the buildings waiting for them to approach. Athair's suspicion that they were speaking silently to some of the others was confirmed when the man welcomed them. "I am Sandulfr, son of Sulf and Makani. This is my mate, Soarsa, daughter of Soarvyra. Our daughter, Domari, tells me you had a run in with Bequlf. You have my apologies. His fight is with me and should include no others." He motioned them to enter the building. "Please come in so we can talk."

The building was a community meeting place. Long tables sat on one side of the room, and relaxed sitting areas on the other. Sandulfr led them to a group of cushioned benches. The only members of the traveling group that remained were Sundair and Domari. The others had drifted off to other areas of the building.

Before sitting, Athair introduced himself and the boys. "I am Athair, of the Eagle Clan. These are Rath and Dàn, my sons, who chose to travel with me." At Sandulfr's nod, he continued. "We came to learn more about the current ways of the world and to build relationships outside our clan." He paused, wondering how much to divulge in this first meeting.

Sandulfr seemed to understand his hesitation. "I have heard little about the Eagle Clan, except that you have remained apart from the world. Please, tell me why you have come here now." He said this without accusation. Athair could easily read his open curiosity. Sandulfr seemed like a man of honesty and integrity. Athair liked him immediately.

"We are too few to continue as we are."

"I see. Do you wish to join us?"

"We came only to learn. No more." Athair did not know where their connection might lead, but he did know it would be a mistake to show high expectations at this time. "If we are not welcome, we will leave without trouble."

"It's not that you're unwelcome." After a thoughtful pause, Sandulfr continued, "But Lakeside isn't a stable community right now. I will need a reason for your time here, a reason the others won't find threatening."

Dàn shifted subtly on the couch beside Athair, drawing attention to himself. "They will find us threatening regardless of your reasons. It suits their purpose." Athair silently asked him to hold his thoughts, but Dàn continued, "They will use our presence against you." He said this to Sandulfr with obvious regret. "I don't know why they will do so. I only know it is true."

"He is a seer?" Sandulfr asked Athair in surprise.

"Yes." He wished Dàn could have been trained as he should have been. Without training, others would find his ability questionable.

"I have had little training yet. Do you have a soothsayer here with whom I may speak?" The yearning in Dàn's voice was almost more than Athair could take. And all at once he knew that he had failed this child, even more than the others, by keeping the clan separate for so long.

Sandulfr said, "My sister is our strongest seer and our youngest oracle. Domari, please go let Maura know she should come meet our new friends."

Domari left immediately.

"I am sorry that we are unable to offer our usual hospitality to you at this time," Sandulfr said "I have to ask that you stay within this building until I can be sure of your welcome among the others. There are guest rooms in the back for you to use for as long as you wish."

"Thank you. It is more than I had hoped." Athair assured him. "However, if Dàn says the others will cause problems, then they will. If you would rather that we leave, we will do so. But with regret." He had pinned many of his hopes on building a positive relationship with this clan. "Perhaps we could meet outside your territory."

Sandulfr seemed to be considering that option and discussing it silently with his mate, when Dàn shifted his attention to the door. Almost immediately it burst open and Bequlf and his followers shoved their way into the room.The number of Sandulfr's supporters suddenly doubled as his protectors moved closer and made their presence known.

It begins, came Dàn's silent thought to Athair.

Bequlf stalked over to the seating area. His obvious aggression brought them all to their feet to face him on even ground. Sandulfr stepped forward to meet him.

Without any respect to his leader, Bequlf growled, "Why have you let them come here? It is disgraceful how you make no effort to protect my people."

"They have offered no threat to our people," Sandulfr said.

"Yes, they have." Bequlf countered. "This one attacked me on their way into town. And one of them has been harrying our hunters and our women." Bequlf advanced, as if to challenge Athair. He held his ground and was not intimidated by Bequlf's actions. He was confident he was strong enough in physical and magical ability to match anything the other man wished to do.

Yet, Bequlf's second accusation surprised Athair. Then he remembered Sgrios and asked Dàn for confirmation, "Dàn, does he mean Sgrios?"

"Yes,"Dàn answered.

"That will make this situation more difficult."Just what had Sgrios been up to? He had hinted at bad blood between himself and the Bear Clan. Just what trouble had Sgrios been causing? And why?

"No. It changes nothing,"came Dàn's calm reply.

"What do you know of these strangers? Nothing! Yet you have trusted them to come into the very heart of our town," Bequlf challenged.

"That is enough, Bequlf." Soarsa stood frowning at Sandulfr's side.

"It is not enough. I insist they complete the ceremony of trust before they continue among us. Although, I doubt the thieving dogs will survive the test."

From that, Athair figured this ceremony would not be pleasant. Both Sandulfr and his mate stilled their voiced argument and seemed to communicate silently for several strained minutes. They were both tense and angry, and Bequlf looked greatly satisfied by their unspoken discussion.

Finally, Sandulfr said, "Very well." And turned back to Athair, who could easily read the regret on Sandulfr's face as he was forced to do as Bequlf wished.

Bequlf apparently had been dismissed with enough force to convince him to let them continue their discussion alone now that he was getting his way. Yet Bequlf seemed hesitant to leave, and Athair became aware of the other people standing around watching the drama unfold. By their postures and alertness, Athair figured they would mostly support Sandulfr if the disagreement became physical. Bequlf must have realized this as well, because after he glanced around the room, he motioned for his group to follow, and they swept from the building.

Sandulfr turned back to face Athair. "I am sorry that our internal problems will make this more difficult for you. But I can think of no other way for you to remain here without him using your presence to cause more trouble."

"I understand." Athair remembered Dàn's warning. "As long as you agree, we are willing to continue."

"Have you any knowledge of this ceremony?"

Maybe it had been among the records they'd lost long ago, but he had never heard of it before. "No, not at all. We will need as much information as you can give us."

"The test will be symbolic of your trust in our people and will require you to ingest a ceremonial drink during a spirit walk. At which time, the spirits will judge if you are worthy of our clan's trust."

"How will they judge?" He was curious. He knew some of their people could talk with spirits, but none of those left in his clan could do so. Usually those who could took the position of religious advisor, shaman, priest, or sometimes, oracle.

"The spirits will answer a question you ask." He paused for a moment, and then said, "You do not need to do this. I can give you time to think it over, while Soarsa and I arrange for a meal to be brought here. The ceremony will take place tonight."

The leaders and the others left, leaving the three of them alone, except for one young male who stayed on the other side of the room playing billiards. He was obviously keeping an eye on them.

Athair sat down on one of the comfortable sofas and waited while Rath and Dàn settled in also. Rath radiated stress, but Dàn seemed unconcerned by the unexpected turn of events. But then it probably wasn't unexpected to Dàn. They would need any information he would tell them to make this decision.

"Dàn, it's time to be honest. What do you know?" Athair demanded.

Before Dàn spoke, Athair noticed that Dàn actually was tense. His hand trembled slightly as he nervously ran it through his blond hair. That wasn't comforting. Dàn was worried about what was to come.

Dàn met his eyes and said, "The ceremony will not go well." He sighed, and then shrugged slightly. "But we must go forward. As bad as it will be, it will be worth it in the end."

"How will the ceremony go wrong?" Athair was used to drawing information from Dàn in parts. Dàn seemed to think that it was easier for them to deal with that way.

"The shaman will poison you. They plan to make your reaction to the toxins look like you failed the test of trust. He will use your failure to raise doubts against Sandulfr."

"Then we should just go." Rath growled. "They have nothing we need at that cost."

"The poison will not kill any of us," Dàn continued with an evasive smile. "And believe me, she will be worth the pain."

"She?" Both Athair and Rath echoed. Since the ultimate purpose in rejoining the world was to find them mates, the word ‘she' definitely caught their attention.

"Yes, she. Finally, we will all have hope," he said enigmatically.

No matter how often they asked, Dàn would tell them no more about the woman. But he did say, "Athair, you must remember to run when the ceremony goes wrong."

"I will not leave you." How could Dàn think he would abandon them during a fight?

"We will distract and delay them only long enough for you to escape, and then we will follow." Athair found it comforting to have Dàn's knowledge to help guide them, but he also sensed that what Dàn didn't tell them could have filled the wind.

The part Dàn worried about having withheld was the existence of a large void in his premonition. He knew from past experience that a void usually meant the missing knowledge would be most relevant to him. He rarely foresaw events that involved him in personal and often painful ways.

He wished he could have had more contact with seers who could help guide him. Too often he felt like he was fumbling around, making mistakes. It was overwhelming at times like this to see so much and have so many choices.

Dàn watched a tall, willowy woman enter the building and start toward them. She had long, silky, black hair that fell to her waist and dark, almond-shaped eyes. She had to be the oracle Sandulfr had promised.

Oddly, Dàn could not read her thoughts at all. Odd, and a bit disconcerting.

He stood and tried to remember his manners as she walked toward him. It was so rare that he had to start a conversation without knowing the person's intentions that he actually stuttered.

"H-hello."

"Hello." She started to hold out her hand to shake his but pulled back without touching him. "I'm sorry. I don't think we should shake hands."

Her action puzzled him. She didn't want to touch him. Usually, people welcomed the mind touch that came with physical contact, especially with him. Some claimed it left them feeling more positive about life. He tried again to read her to find out why she avoided it.

"Please don't," she said, brushing her fingers over her temple. "It's somewhat painful to have to shield myself from you. You are very strong."

"I am sorry." He was shocked by her statement. "I did not mean to hurt you."

No one had ever felt his intrusions before. It made him very unsure of himself. He looked to Athair for support, and suddenly realized he and Rath had abandoned him to join the man playing billiards.

"It's all right." She smiled. "I know you meant no harm. I am Sandulfr's sister, Maura. Domari said you wanted to talk with me, but she didn't say why."

"I'm Dàn." He suddenly felt ambivalent about asking for her help. Despite being an oracle and sister to an Alpha, she seemed very young. Of course, age was usually not obvious to the eye with his people, but he had expected someone else. Perhaps someone who did not look so innocent.

"Do you still wish to talk with me?" she asked quietly, making him wonder if she could read his thoughts.

"Yes, I do." Who was she? How was she able to block him and know so much? Sandulfr had said only that she was his sister and the youngest oracle. Dàn suddenly wanted to know more about her. Everything about her.

"What was it you wanted to talk about?"

He hesitated before answering. "I was hoping to talk with someone who could help me control my sight."

"And you aren't sure if that person is me," she said, again showing insight.

"I don't know." He found that lack of knowledge embarrassing. He knew so much, and yet his sight failed him when he wanted it most.

"Well, let's sit and relax for a moment. We'll talk about less important matters until you decide," she suggested reasonably. She settled herself elegantly with her calf length gown flowing softly over her crossed legs. She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow when he continued to stand looking down at her.

"Sorry," he mumbled. He sank into the seat across from her.

"It's okay. Please, tell me what brought you to our little town." She folded her hands on her lap and looked at him with patience and confidence.

He started to tell her about their situation. Awkwardly at first, then more openly, as he became more comfortable talking with her. Before long, he had spilled out that he was a strong seer and that he feared what was coming that he couldn't see. "I can usually see what will happen, but this time there is a dangerous black void I can't see through."

She watched him thoughtfully while he talked. "I believe it is as you think. You can't see into the void because it involves you." She gave him an understanding smile at his frustration. "Do you really need to see what will come?"

"If I could see, I would use it to protect my family." He answered more honestly than he'd intended. "I cannot see what will happen to Rath, either. Not knowing makes me uneasy."

"If you can't see, then you can't. Why worry about what you won't be able to change?" She frowned at him.

Now he was puzzled. "What do you mean, what I cannot change?"

"A seer may see what will come, but he or she is not able to use that knowledge to change the future. I find it so frustrating that I often wish I didn't have the gift at all." Maura looked down at her clasped hands.

He stared at her in astonishment. He had often changed the future and had never thought of that ability as being unusual. Now it had become just another talent that set him apart.

"Why are you staring at me like I've suddenly grown a second head?" Her head tilted slightly, and she blinked her slanted eyes in curiosity.

"I can change things," he said quietly, afraid of her reaction. Of her rejection.

"You can change the future after you have a vision?" She leaned forward to study him as she awaited his answer. Her intense stare made him feel as though he was an interesting experiment she had yet to figure out.

"Yes," Dàn said simply.

She leaned back into the soft cushions again and mulled over his simple answer. Then she asked, "Are you sure? What have you done?"

"I have kept people from being hurt, stopped arguments before they happened, and other things," he said vaguely. In truth, he had done so much over the last three centuries that listing everything would be impossible. His visions were as common as drops of rain and he always felt the need to help wherever he could.

She was quiet as she pondered that. Almost to herself, she said quietly, "If I could change what was to come, I would spend all my days in meditation." She gave her head a little shake. "So, how do you do it? How do you keep from seeking visions all the time?"

He sighed. "I don't seek the visions." Yet another aberration.

"What?" She said without comprehension.

"I don't seek the visions. They come at me all the time." Apparently, that was another of his oddities. He was depressed by the thought. "I cannot stop them, even if I wished to." They were like never ending stories that played out at the edge of his vision. Constantly there, where he could see. Where he felt compelled to watch.

And this was always followed by his sense of duty and responsibility. He felt he had to help those around him whenever he was given a chance to make a difference.

"Look, Dàn. I am sorry I misled you. I know you were seeking guidance from me as a seer, but I won't be able to help you. The clairvoyant talents you have are different from my own and far beyond my abilities."

He closed his eyes in defeat. Would he never find someone who could help him to understand who and what he was, and show him what he was meant to do with these strange abilities?

She reached across the space and gently laid a slender hand on his arm. As soon as her hand touched him, he felt a rush of warmth. And acceptance. Along with the knowledge that she fought hard to keep him from her mind despite the physical contact.

When he reluctantly met her eyes, she said, "I may not be able to guide you, but I'd like to be your friend, if you can use one." She slid her hand from his arm and smiled softly. "And I do think you can."

"Yes. I can use a friend." He already missed the contact of her hand and her mind.

"Incidentally, I can see part of your premonition's void." She looked down at her lap and twisted her fingers together anxiously.

"Will you share it with me?"

"Perhaps some of it." He was surprised to see her eyes shine with tears. She wiped one from her cheek before continuing. "Your concerns over Rath's safety are unnecessary. You will be able to protect him when the time comes. He will not be hurt seriously."

The truth was there in what she didn't say. "But I will be." Suddenly, he realized her tears were for him. He couldn't remember anyone ever crying for him before. It was very humbling. The presence of those tears brought a lump to his own throat. His heart tightened like a fist in his chest. He wanted to reassure her that he would be fine regardless of what she saw. "I thought as much by the fact that I could not see it. But you say Rath will be fine? I couldn't see him, either."

She nodded her agreement. She still had tears on her lashes, and he was uncertain what he should say.

Abruptly, Dàn sensed Athair behind him, just before a hand fell lightly upon his shoulder filling him with warm strength. Athair said, "Dàn, we must soon prepare for the ceremony." Silently he added, "Son? Your stress is a bit overwhelming for the rest of us. Can I help?"

Dàn looked up into the face of the man who had been the closest to a father he had ever known and said, "She cries for me."

"You need to gather yourself. Or we will all be crying for you within another moment."

While Athair introduced himself to Maura, Dàn took the time to do as suggested. Athair had been right, of course. His surprise at Maura's tears had echoed and amplified the melancholy feelings running through him. It was fortunate that so few people were close enough to be affected.

Before too long, Sandulfr, his mate, and a few others came back to the meeting house where they ate a relaxed meal with Dàn, Athair, and Rath.

After the meal, they shared coffee and talked about the upcoming ceremony. Dàn and the others learned that the Bear Clan's eldest shaman, Belquavir, was to lead the ceremony. He was well respected, but he was also Bequlf's uncle. In the past, Belquavir had gotten along reasonably well under Sandulfr's leadership, but now their relationship was strained because of Bequlf's recent challenge.

The ceremony was planned for moonrise, which would be around eleven o'clock. The moon would be not quite full. Still, the moon was held in reverence, especially for ceremonies.

It was nearly time. Sandulfr led them to a special clearing behind the meeting house, where three small fire pits were centered between the outstretched limbs of nine large oak trees.