Chapter Two

Forgotten Fears

Streams of Consciousness

Hope came awake with a gasp. Her mind screamed with almost forgotten pain. Her flesh stung and burned with a fire she'd never escape.

She opened her eyes to the familiar and terrifying sight of a sterile hospital room. What had happened? The accident blazed through her mind. The horrible rolling, burning death that had stolen her family.

They'd gone out for ice cream to celebrate acing her driver's exam. Lightning had crashed around the car in a brilliant display, making Hope jump. Mom tried to laugh off her nervousness by saying the storm was providing fireworks in her honor, but she'd known differently. No feeling of celebration had accompanied the flashing light and pelting rain, and no amount of cheerful wishing from her mother could make the storm any less malignant. The rain soaked the roads, forcing her to drive slowly along the tree lined highway toward town. Although nervous about the storm and weighed down with the feeling of impending doom, she carefully followed every rule, anxious to prove herself as a good driver.

A tractor trailer with a heavy load decided to pass them after following them for several miles. The truck was almost past when it started to pull back into the right lane. Whether she over compensated or the truck clipped their car, she didn't remember. But she did recall the steep bank and looming forest rising before her. The car rolled and crashed into the trees, flipping this way and that. She braked and fought with the wheel. Something in the back of the car exploded. She knew she must have screamed, but she couldn't remember doing it.

In fact, she didn't remember anything but pain after the explosion. Pain, as if she'd been broken into tiny pieces, which of course, she had. She found out later, much later, that the truck driver called for help, then heroically ripped open the driver's door and dragged her out. After saving her, he went back and pulled her mother from the passenger side, but he couldn't reach her father or her brothers before the car burst into an inferno. They died in the explosion. Her mother died right next to her, while she lay unconscious, unable to even say goodbye.

Hope shifted her weight, gritting her teeth when the sheet rubbed against her scraped knees. Wait… She could feel her knees?

The pieces slowly fell into place, and finally she remembered the attack outside the veterinary clinic. She was in the hospital, but not for the car accident, which had happened long ago.

Steve opened the door and peered into the room. "Are you awake?" he whispered.

"I'm awake. Come on in." She sat up and ran her fingers through her hair in an effort to feel normal.

"The police are here to talk to you.Do you feel up to it?"

* * *

Athair hurried toward the meeting lodge, which was actually more of a pavilion than a building. Its open area was sheltered between the steep rocky hillside and the rear of Acair's cabin. Unlike the cabin, the pavilion had only a thatched roof that worked best on sunny days. Although they had been in the same area for centuries, they'd agreed to keep the structures as natural as possible. Not showing the number of actual dwellings that existed here was one of the ways they stayed hidden from humans and other dangers. If humans did come to this unlikely place, they would only see one small cabin unless they looked very closely. Acair's rustic cabin, made of roughly cut logs, was the only one built above ground. The other members of the clan had ancient style homes cut into sheltered areas of the uneven valley. The underground rooms were small, dark, and den-like, suiting the clan's needs in every way.

As Athair settled into a chair at the long table under the roof, he studied his two brothers stacking the last of the cut wood. His twin, Acair, looked like him, but was slightly darker in coloring. He was tall and muscular, with sable hair and strong features. Acair was the strength of the clan. As the eldest, he had led them through troubled times. He was only an hour older than Athair, but that gave him the less than appealing job of leadership. For the sake of the rest, he rarely let the strain of his decisions show, keeping his emotions contained. He shouldered the burden of responsibility and complained to none but Athair, and then only rarely.

Sgrios was another story. He flooded the area with his pain and anger. His raw emotions throbbed with painful intensity. Athair felt fortunate to catch Sgrios in their village, as his stays were always brief. Shortly, he would leave to join the wild wolf pack again. Remaining in human form, with all its memories and guilt, was too painful for him to endure for more than a few hours at a time. The last few years had been the hardest for him. Sgrios spent more and more time with the wolves and less time with the clan.

The three brothers led the clan as best they could. The younger ones were kept safe and fed and taught as much as possible. Unfortunately, their efforts weren't enough to offer hope for the future.

Sgrios paced the room, obviously too closed-in, even in this two-sided pavilion, to relax in any way. "Lasair told me to wait. What for, Athair? I must leave. Soon."

Unstated, but easily understood by both of them, was Sgrios' belief that he was a danger to those around him. Barely able to control himself at the best of times, he stayed away to avoid painful memories and to protect those he still cared for. Athair ached for his brother, who had lost so much. Perhaps it would have been kinder if they had let him choose death a long time ago. Back then, he and Acair had thought Sgrios would eventually heal. But now, they knew no amount of time could repair a soul torn so violently in two.

Athair opened the discussion. "We need to consider resuming contact with humans, so that we, especially the young ones, may seek out mates." Athair's breath caught as he waited for Sgrios' explosion. He was not disappointed.

With an angry growl, Sgrios raked Athair with a challenging stare. "Don't be a fool! It would mean our destruction." His dead mate, Cairistione, had been human.

"Fool, indeed!" Athair roared back but regained his composure with a sigh of resignation. "We already have our ruin in sight, my brother. It is not your doing." Cairistione's father had brought hunters and death to their clan. Sgrios had no trust left for humans or his own decisions.

"What exactly are we considering?" Acair asked, spreading a powerful calming energy that would affect even Sgrios. "As much as I know something must change, I fear contact with humans will be too drastic a choice for our people to easily accept."

Ignoring Sgrios, who paced furiously back and forth, Athair shared the desperate idea that had been pushing around in his mind for weeks. "I believe we must send some of our young men into nearby villages to reopen communication with humans."

Sgrios snarled a profanity in regard to the prospective towns and was ignored as Athair continued, "The young men can relearn human ways and bring the knowledge back to us. At the very least, it will ease the tension we face every day."

"Our numbers are small, but I agree we must separate the younger ones before there is a death." Acair ran a hand restlessly through his hair.

Acair's words stilled Sgrios' agitated motion. He turned. "Do they fight each other that viciously? I didn't know it had come to that."

In reality, the violence had been escalating dangerously for decades. Sgrios had not witnessed much of it firsthand. Because his temper was perilous at best, neither Acair nor Athair had wanted to bring it to his attention, if it could be avoided.

"We have had many problems," Athair said. "They need to find their mates, or at least find means to relieve their passions. Allaidh now does more damage than good. Romach and Molach came to blood over her this very morning." Athair paused. "Yet I don't feel right sending them out alone. If they must go, they should go in pairs."

"This feels wrong to me," Sgrios said, "But I no longer trust my instincts."

His shoulders slumped, as he resigned himself to the necessity, now that he saw how grave the situation had become.

"Perhaps we have hidden ourselves away too long and let too much time slip by in the name of protection." Sgrios regained the calmer voice of reason he had used so long ago. He continued in the silent language, which was heard in a deep rumbling whisper. "Or perhaps we do not seek the right people. We must also seek the others if we are to survive this dark time."

Both Athair and Acair stared in disbelief at hearing the thought without words. Long ago, Sgrios had shown the gift of prophecy, which was most often given in the silent language. Although most in the clan had some telepathic ability, it was rarely used while in human form.The silent tongue allowed the listener to feel the speaker's emotions and sometimes, his thoughts. Sgrios avoided that intimacy whenever possible. The others were grateful for this kindness, but this thought had come without any inflection or emotion. Surely it was a true prophecy.

Acair turned to Sgrios. "Where do you suggest we go?"

"The Bear Clan."

Acair nodded thoughtfully. "They are the closest clan and have strong numbers. Who do you feel should go?" In this, he deferred again to his youngest brother. Besides the gift of sight, Sgrios had traveled further than the others, even if mostly in wolf form. They knew he had made contact within the Bear Clan.

"It will have to be one of us. The young should not cross territorial lines by themselves without an invitation, especially now. There is turmoil within their clan. One of you will have to go." With a low growl and a sly look, he added, "I am not welcome at the present."

Athair understood he should be the one to go, and he accepted the obligation without argument. "Acair, you must remain here. You are needed to organize the young and stay close in case they need you. I will go to the Bear Clan. I will also take one or two with me. We should divide the young ones as much as we can." They were all quiet for several minutes. "I will take Rath and Dàn with me to the Bear Clan. Rath, to give him relief from Allaidh, and Dàn, in the hope that we may find him a mentor."

"There are two towns not far away." Acair said." We will send a pair to each. Romach and Molach to the east. Leth and Lasair to the south."

"Not the girl," Sgrios protested. "We cannot risk her loss."

"She will not mate within the clan. Lasair is strong and sensible, and you know how protective Leth is of her. He will never allow his sister to come to harm." Athair waited for Sgrios to argue further.

Yet to his surprise, Sgrios instead offered, "I will take Reultan and Díon to hunt with the pack. Both could use the experience." Sgrios had never taken others with him on his journeys.

They all looked uneasy about his decision. Acair said, "So it will be. Sgrios, we need to discuss your experiences outside our home so I may prepare the young ones. We must be sure they know what to expect and how to protect themselves."

* * *

Hope felt very lucky to have such a good friend. Steve is wonderful. She repeated the mantra, Steve is wonderful, and reminded herself of her best friend's many virtues. He's supportive. He's optimistic. He's fun to be around. He's always there for her. He really is wonderful...

Steve was a complete pain in the ass! He was driving her nuts. She wished she had a radio to help drown out his big-brother act.

He was currently lecturing her on her choice of waiting alone in the dark in the middle of the night in town. This had followed the lecture on how she should have taken better care of her leg and told their boss where to stick the extra shift. His exact words had been, "Grow a backbone, would you?" Followed by, "Stand up for yourself and make your own decisions." And then, "They need you more than you need them."

"I can't believe you went down that alley alone! What were you thinking? ‘Hey! Single woman here, come and get it'?"

"Knock it off, Steve. You know very well the clinic isn't in an unsafe area. We've worked there for years. The crime rate is nearly non-existent."

"You should have called me." He glared at her, and finally she understood. The awkward idiot was scared for her.

"I just wanted to see if the dog would come to me." She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze to reassure him. "You know how quickly strays move on. I had to at least try before it left the area."

"Still—" He glared at her again but relaxed at least a little where he was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I don't want to argue over this, Steve." He wouldn't normally dare lecture her quite so long and hard, but the hospital had wanted her to spend the day under observation. Which meant she was trapped and unable to escape his lectures. Steve hadn't shut his mouth since she'd awakened. For all she knew, he might have been lecturing her while she slept, too.

"What you need is a man to take care of you."

"What?" Where had that come from?

"You heard me. You need a man. When is the last time you even had a date?"

"That, my best friend in the world, is none of your business." It had been a while since her last date. A couple years, in fact. The time just slipped by when she wasn't looking. She had no time for dating in her busy life. She had her elderly grandmother and a bunch of house cats to keep her company. What did she need with a man?

"I'm serious. I could hook you up with one of my friends." At her undisguised horror, he said, "Hey, they're not that bad!"

"Yeah, they are. And no, I don't need a man right now. I've got the clinic to finish before I'll have any time to relax." The clinic was her dream. She was planning an animal hospital located at her home in the country. Yes, as much as she looked forward to being her own boss, that wasn't the main reason behind her plans. Maybe if she didn't have to commute to work, she wouldn't feel so helpless against her fears. At least that was what she hoped.

* * *

Dàn sat quietly at the edge of the stream, watching the easy flow of the current. If only life were that easy and could just take you wherever it wished. Inevitably, the right choice would be made for you. Good or bad, it would be the right one. Sometimes there would be a split in the current offering two options, but mostly you would simply be in the path. Flowing within. Never seeing the whole. Never seeing the choices, what was missed or what was to come.

Most could follow that philosophy, trusting in fate or God or any other belief that took the control and concern from their hands.

Dàn knew he'd never have that choice.

Even now the weight of knowledge, of seeing the stream and its many currents, clenched like a fist on his heart. He wondered what choices he could make to drive the current to the best path. Would it be as simple as dropping a stone into the stream? Digging one out of the stream bed? Or perhaps skimming one over the surface with a skipping pebble?

What if he chose wrong? His decisions would affect all those around him. Would his choices save or sacrifice those he loved?

It was several hours later when he felt an intense stare. He, the watcher, was being watched. He raised his gaze to meet that of a large black wolf on the opposite bank of the stream. Sgrios. With the barest shimmer of blue sparks, the wolf shifted form to become man.

"You sit long and see little." Sgrios must have been on the bank, watching him, for some time.

"I sit long and see much. But far from enough."

"You look concerned." Sgrios met and held his gaze.

"I am." He could see much of what was coming and knew this current would be difficult to control. Yet he had no choice. He had to find a way, the right way, to bend the stream of destiny to his will.

"When do you leave for the Bear Clan?" Sgrios asked.

"Tomorrow." Sometime the current was changed by many small stones rather than a few large ones. "Where will you take the others to hunt?"

"I had planned to go east."

"Could you go west instead?" The first small stone fell to the water, causing barely visible waves.

"I can."

Dàn let out his breath and watched the tiny ripples spread out across the surface of the stream, the change was subtle, and yet… vast.