Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

The three of us squeezed around the banquet, trying to eat dinner without knocking elbows with each other was a painful reminder of just how cramped the crew quarters were.

“It’s our last night in Barbados,” Sam reminded us. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to stay aboard.”

“What else is there to do?” Nicky asked.

Fuck me. I gave Sam my best ‘ I’ll-kick-your-ass ’ warning glare, which only made him smile. I should have known. Sam always did the opposite of what he should do.

“Your Daddy didn’t tell you about The Grotto?” He raised his eyebrows, making it sound very mysterious and appealing.

“The Grotto?” Nicky repeated, looking to me for confirmation.

“Don’t even think about it. ”

Nicky ignored me, just like Sam. “What’s The Grotto?” he asked.

“The hottest club in town. Probably the hottest club in the eastern Caribbean.”

“Can we go?” he asked me.

“Abso-fucking-lutely not.”

Sam chuckled as though he found my parental outrage hilarious. “Since when is The Grotto a bad idea? It’s one of your favorite places. Remember last time, that bartender with the dark skin and the braids, he had those green eyes, and you said he?—”

“I know what the fuck I said. Drop it, Sam.”

“I want to go,” Nicky declared.

“Why am I not surprised?” Sam sighed. “A party boy and a party pooper. I’m heading out in an hour, so you can tag along with me.”

“Over my dead body. If he steps one foot in The Grotto, it will be by my side.”

“Oh!” Nicky squealed, clapping his hands and bouncing in his seat.

Anyone who got that excited about a club was probably too young to go, but thanks to Sam, it was too late to knock sense into either of them.

An hour and a half later, we approached the outdoor party, nestled among the stone cliffs. This place was like stepping into another world. Ruins of old caves with stone walls open to the night sky, and a small waterfall that trickled down over the rocks. Lush green ivy grew along the walls and fairy lights were added. There was an indoor bar and dance floor that opened seamlessly to the outdoor space, and people flowed in and out. The music pulsed like a heartbeat, and you could feel the vibration in your body. The steel drum and calypso made your blood sing.

“Remember,” I warned, halting before we entered. “There are two rules about The Grotto. Number one, do not eat or drink anything someone gives you.”

“What’s number two?” Nicky asked eagerly.

I looked him over, from his white tank top that set off his fresh tan to perfection, making his skin positively glow with health, to his tiny white shorts that framed his perfectly shaped buns.

“Take off that necklace.”

Sam laughed and Nicky clutched his puka shells. “Not a chance,” he said, pushing past me. He strolled into the club with his head held high, taking it all in with wide eyes. Fuck, I already couldn’t wait for this night to end.

“Come on.” I slapped Sam in the chest. “Let’s get this over with.”

Nicky was like a rabbit on crack—he was everywhere. Drinking at the bar, taking in the scene over the cliffs, standing under the waterfall to wet his white clothes so they were see-through. His tiny pink nipples poked through the thin material, attracting many eyes, including mine.

Once he got on the dance floor, I couldn’t get him off it. The way he moved his body, so sinuously, lost in the rhythm of the music, made it look as if he had found a new religion. The more he danced, the more he sweated, until he ripped his shirt off and tucked it into his back pocket. Beads of sweat rolled down his chest between his pecs, and he rubbed his hands over his skin as if he were spreading the moisture like lotion. The way he rolled his hips with his hands gliding over his moist skin… not gonna lie, had my dick hard.

I hated how he was on display for everyone to see, and that he was possibly making other men feel the way he was making me feel. Fucking hated it. Nicky was mine . He was… My boy. He belonged to me. His youth, his memories, they all belonged to me, and I’d be goddamned if I was going to let some man steal it from me.

You mean steal him from you?

A man older than me, most likely a tourist, guessing from his board shorts and light skin, offered Nicky a drink. Just as he was about to accept it, Sam smacked it out of his hand and physically inserted himself between the man and Nicky.

“Back off, Papa, he’s taken.”

I danced closer, leaning down near his ear to be heard over the music. “I told you not to drink anything people offer you.”

“I’m thirsty,” he shouted back.

“Then I’ll get you something.”

Moving to the bar, I ordered coconut water with a splash of rum and brought it back to Nicky. He downed it without taking a pause. That rum was gonna hit him hard in a moment.

“Can I have another one?”

Shit, he’d be buzzed in no time. He downed the second glass as quickly as the first. I could tell when the rum began to take effect because his dancing became more fluid… bolder. Nicky spun around and backed his ass up against me, grinding to the beat of the music. The way he gyrated his bubble butt, I was already hard, but now I ached.

Did he have any idea of the effect he had on me?

When I failed to engage, he reached back and grabbed my hands, placing them on his hips, so that I had no choice but to move with him. Next to us, Sam was dancing similarly with a younger guy, a local from the look of him, and I decided fuck it , when in Rome . Throwing caution to the wind, and all of my good sense, I moved with Nicky, enjoying the friction of his ass bumping against my hard cock. There was no way he didn’t feel it, and I had to wonder why he didn’t mind.

He pulled out all the stops, teasing his nipples, rubbing his hands up his neck and down his stomach, making me wish they were my hands touching him that way. God, I felt as if I were under a spell, some sort of voodoo Caribbean magic. I was sweltering, and it wasn’t just from the humidity. It was Nicky. I was burning up with desire and forbidden thoughts I couldn’t afford to entertain. I had to get the fuck out of here.

Untangling myself from his body, I went back to the bar and ordered coconut water with rum, downing it much like Nicky had in one continuous gulp. A younger guy, not as young as Nicky, but young enough, with dark hair and dark eyes that burned with heat, beckoned me with a crook of his finger. He turned, making his way deeper inside the caves, where it was darker, and like a dog in heat, I followed. We found a spot without too many witnesses, and he pushed me up against the rough stone wall, sliding my tank top up so he could taste my skin.

His soft lips sucked, nibbled, and licked at my salty skin, keeping my dick hard. His fingers toyed with the button on my shorts, and then the zipper, sliding them down over my hips. Another couple joined us, taking up residence against the opposite wall, and I realized it was Sam and the boy he was dancing with. The guy kneeling at my feet pulled my dick out and looked up at me. It wasn’t his eyes that I saw, it was the white puka shell necklace around his neck.

Just like Nicky’s.

Flashing like an apparition, I saw Nicky’s sweet face, his dark curls bent at my waist instead of this man. God, this wasn’t helping. Just before his lips worshiped my dick, I pushed his head away.

“I’m sorry, I can’t.”

If Sam was here with me, where was Nicky? In my haste to escape his thrall, I’d left him alone and vulnerable.

Frantically, I searched every corner of the club—the bar, the bathrooms, the dance floor. I found him in the last place I expected him to be, the fucking hot tub. Over my dead body. He’d lost all his clothes except that fucking tiny white Speedo I told him not to bring, and he was surrounded by too many admiring eyes.

He danced for them, like a fucking stripper paid to perform, and I saw nothing but red. Crimson red . I was so angry I could feel the heat rise to my face. Without a word, I bent over the bubbling pit of steamy water, grabbed him by the arm, and hauled his ass out.

“Cass,” he sputtered.

“Let’s go. We’re getting the fuck out of here right now.”

Nicky knew from years of experience not to fuck with me when I was angry. Not that I’d ever hurt him, but there would be stiff consequences if he disobeyed. At that moment, I was capable of anything; that’s how consumed with anger I was. I didn’t even think about his clothes as I dragged him from the club and down the beach as he tripped in the sand to keep up with me.

“Cass, slow down,” he cried.

“The sooner I get you out of here, the better. Keep up.”

He tripped again. “Cass!”

“Fuck this.” I scooped him up in my arms in a fireman' s carry and continued down the beach in search of our boat. I marched right up to our dinghy and sat him down on his feet in the wet sand. He had tears in his eyes, and they pulled at my heart, but all I could see was that fucking bathing suit, invisible and obscene, showing off the outline of his semi-hard dick.

“Cass?”

“I could wring your fucking neck!”

Nicky looked wrecked. Buzzed and glassy-eyed, disheveled and sweaty, with sand stuck to his legs, and more than half naked. And those teary fucking eyes that tugged at my heart.

“I’m sorry. I just wanted to dance, and you left, and I?—”

I hated myself for leaving.

Grasping his chin between my fingers, I forced his head up to meet my eyes. “What were you thinking? Those men could have—they…you were…” I couldn’t form sentences. My thoughts were scattered, and my pulse raced like I’d done speed or some shit. All I could think was, ‘ What if .’ And hot on the heels of that thought was what I wanted to do. What I wished I could get away with.

Nicky peered up at me with teary doe eyes and pink lips, now glossy and plump from being bitten, and everything in my head—the anger, the jealousy, the fear—everything fled. I tugged his lip free with my thumb and he boldly snuck his little pink tongue out to lick my finger. A spike of adrenaline pounded through my heart. I’d never felt more affected by anything in my life, and I was completely powerless against the overwhelming desire I felt to soothe his lip with mine.

I crushed his lips with bruising force, my fingers tightening in his sweaty curls, and kissed him, until neither of us could breathe. Finally, when I backed away to pull air into my lungs, I felt wrecked, like someone had hit me over the head with a hundred-pound weight.

How had I gotten here? How had I gotten myself into this mess, and how was I going to get myself out of it?

And to make things worse, Nicky chased my lips until I pushed at his chest. “Stop,” I barked. “That was… a mistake. That was a huge fucking mistake. I didn't mean to kiss you.”

“But—”

“Get in the fucking boat, Nicky.”

And I got angry all over again, watching his pert ass scramble over the bow of the boat. The fucking bathing suit was so goddamn see-through I could make out the dark shadow in the crease of his ass. God, I was so tempted to put him over my knee and spank the shit out of him. Neither of us said another word as we motored back to the yacht. We climbed aboard, and Nicky went downstairs to change. I was too angry to follow. There was no way I could sleep below deck tonight, in the bunk beneath him. The room was too small—our proximity, my anger, it would suffocate me. Plopping my ass down on a lounge chair, I kicked off my shoes and folded my arms behind my head, peering up at the gorgeous starry canvas.

It wasn’t the first time I’d slept on deck, and it wouldn’t be the last.

Eventually, Nicky poked his head out. “Are you coming to bed?”

He was shirtless, wearing only his pink and purple plaid boxers. Did he have no regard for his own safety? Hadn’t he pushed me enough tonight?

“I think I’ll sleep out here.”

He climbed over the threshold, cautiously closing the distance between us. “Cass? I’m sorry. I guess I got carried away.”

“You guess?” I jumped to my feet. “Carried away was when you were dancing with me, rubbing all over me like a cat in heat. But getting into a hot tub full of men? That was just—I can’t even think what that was, Nicky. It was?—”

He folded his arms around my ribs and squeezed his head against my chest. Like popping a balloon, all the fight went out of me. I squeezed him back, brushing my cheek over his curls.

“Nicky,” I breathed.

“You shouldn’t have left me alone.”

His words were muffled against my shirt. I wished I weren’t even wearing it so that I could feel his breath against my skin. “No, I shouldn’t have. I also shouldn’t have kissed you. We just need to forget that?—”

“But I can’t forget, Cass. I don’t want to forget,” he insisted, looking up into my eyes.

Goddamn him.

He licked his lips, reminding me how delicious he tasted. “Your first kiss shouldn’t have been a punishment. It shouldn’t have been angry.”

“You’re right. You should do it again, but better this time.”

“Nicky, no, that’s—” Exactly what I want to do.

Ignoring my protest, he stood on his tiptoes, coming for my mouth. He was going to claim his kiss, whether or not I wanted him to.

I felt his breath before his lips, sweet and warm, and closed the distance between us, giving in to the inevitable. I was the first man who had ever touched his lips. The least I could do was show him how good it could be. He wrapped his arms around my neck and melted into me, moaning into my mouth, sucking on my tongue like he was thirsty for my kiss. My heart raced, my cock throbbed, and my conscience screamed at me to stop. I held him tighter, knowing it was the first and last time I would ever cross this line.

It only took a moment to commit an unforgivable sin.

This was my moment.

A moment to indulge in his kiss.

A moment I would never forget as long as I lived .

I pulled back, untangling his arms from around my neck, and my knees gave out. I landed on my ass on the chair, struggling to catch my breath. With a soft sigh, Nicky sank down beside me. “Is this thing big enough for the both of us?”

Jesus Christ. The kid had absolutely no sense of self-preservation.