26. Selma

twenty-six

Selma

As if I'd just jerked awake, I pushed Alex off me with all the strength I could muster, sending him staggering back. My head turned to find the voice, my heart dropping into my stomach when I saw Maria gaping at me. But it wasn't her that made me feel like absolute shit.

No. Ashton stood beside her, and the only thing I could think was that I'd never seen him so…unhinged. His brown eyes darkened until they were the color of coffee, and I knew without a doubt that he'd misread the entire situation.

I took a step forward. "Ashton—"

He held out a hand, taking one step back. "Don't. Just… let it go. I hear your silence loud and clear now." His eyes were full of hurt, and every second that passed squeezed my heart tighter.

"Let me explain," I whispered as tears swam in my eyes. He had to know that Alex didn't mean anything to me, and I needed him to know that. "Ashton, please."

With one last shake of his head, he swung on his heels and left. I let out a shaky breath as one tear slipped free.

Why does it feel like my heart is breaking?

When I looked back at Alex, I saw it—that mischievous glint in his eyes that sparkled with depravity. He wiped his thumb over the corner of his lips, a smug smile taking over. I shook my head at him with a snarl, internally cursing myself for not recognizing his plan for what it was: manipulation.

Obviously, he'd orchestrated this entire fiasco so that Ashton would find us.

This was what he wanted, and I wouldn't let him win.

Stepping into him, I raised a hand and smacked him across the face. "If you ever touch me again, I will cut off your tiny prick and feed it to you. Fucking asshole."

Alex's eyes flared, and his jaw clenched, but he didn't do anything. I knew what this was—his last attempt to ruin something good for me because he just couldn't stand the thought of me being happy.

"Let's see how you make a comeback from that," were his parting words to me.

My body shook with fury as I watched him strut away, like he'd just done something as normal as taking a piss. I swear I hated him. I had no idea what I'd do if I saw him again.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Maria gasped.

I turned to face her. "I can't deal with this right now, Maria. I need to find Ashton."

That was the only thing that mattered right now, not her obvious disappointment in me.

But she wasn't relenting. Her face was twisted in anger, and she looked at me as if I'd somehow let her down. "That man has done everything right trying to show you how much he cares for you. Do you really think pushing him away is fair?"

Narrowing my eyes, I tilted my head to one side. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Maria huffed as if her meaning was obvious and everyone was in on it but me. "Who do you think arranged this whole thing with Zed? Cause it certainly wasn't me."

My heart hitched, stopping my breath. Shock and warmth erupted in my chest as I stared back at her. "What?"

"If you don't do something, you're going to lose that man. And I promise you it'll be ten times worse than Alex."

After she walked away, I stood in that hallway, bristling. Now that I thought about it, what were the odds that the Zed Chenko would invite me to unveil my collection at his runway show? The man was so exclusive that even A-list celebrities had to beg to be invited to his shows. I'd been so in over my head that I hadn't thought to stop and fucking think.

My god. The speed with which my heart raced threatened to undo me. It had been him from the start. Whenever I was certain he would leave, he never did. And I was so caught up in my own fucking head that it didn't occur to me that maybe he didn't plan to.

"Jesus," I muttered, my legs suddenly resuscitating. They moved, and I let them as they guided me out of Zed's company and into a taxi. Ashton had been the one to drive us here. After giving the driver my address, I fell back against the seat and tried to catch my breath. My palms were sweaty, and my skin felt clammy.

Was it too late? Had he already made up his mind? I swallowed down saliva, but it bounced right back, so I swallowed a second time. The look in his eyes…Fuck. I'd hurt him in so many ways.

He'd told me that he loved me and that he wasn't going anywhere, but I hadn't believed a word he'd said. I constantly doubted him, even though he'd given me numerous reasons not to. And for what?

Because of that slimy piece of shit who didn't deserve the air he breathed.

I couldn't even begin to imagine how horrible he'd felt when he saw me with Alex. God knew I would lose my fucking shit if it were me. Just the thought of Ashton with some other woman made me see red. Even if he wanted nothing to do with me again, I needed him to know I hadn't kissed Alex.

The taxi stopped in front of my building, and after handing him a twenty-dollar bill, I practically ran out. My heart did a somersault as I dashed into the elevator and waited for it to reach the sixth floor. The stupid thing was too fucking slow.

When it finally opened, I sighed in relief and ran down the hallway toward Ashton's apartment. It was ironic now that I'd once decided not to go in there because it would feel too intimate, and now I can't imagine not being with him.

I twisted the doorknob, a pang of disappointment spreading through me when I found it locked. God, I hoped he was in. Where would I begin to search for him if he was gone? Rapping my knuckles against the door twice, I waited with my heart in my throat.

Thirty seconds passed, and nothing. Tears flooded my eyes as I continued to hit my palm on the door.

"Ashton, please. Just hear me out." Fear like I'd never felt before gripped me. Maria's words washed over me like a bucket of cold water.

If I lost him, I had no idea if I could survive it.

"Ashton," I cried. "Please let me explain. Alex kissed me. I didn't kiss him back. And I know I should have pushed him away the second he came close to me, but I was in shock. You have to understand that. I'm sorry."

Twenty minutes later, I sat on the ivory-tiled floors with my head resting on his door, wondering how I'd managed to royally fuck up an already fucked up situation. He was gone. I'd lost him forever. The tears in my eyes had dried up, yet it wasn't enough. It felt like a part of me had suddenly disappeared, leaving no trail behind on how to find it again.

He could be anywhere. Shit, he could've left the city. A sob escaped my throat. What had I done?

"You know," I sniffed loudly. "The reason I hated you when we met in my office that second time was that I couldn't stop thinking about you. I hated how you could make me feel after one night with you, and no one had ever done that before. I was in denial."

The sound that came out of my throat sounded very much like the pained laugh of a mad woman. "And every single time you touched me, I convinced myself it was because you were skilled in the act and not because my body craved you like it did food. Maybe even more. Because it did." My voice broke. "It fucking did."

I adjusted my legs under me. "And now I crave you more than anything. More than reviving my career or even bringing Volkov back to its former glory. I want you more, Ashton, and I love you."

God, I should have told him this that night in the elevator. And now I would never get to tell him. I rubbed my chest through my shirt as if it would ease the banging of my heart.

"I should have told you this long ago, but I was scared. I was fucking terrified that I would fall and you wouldn't be there to catch me. How stupid I'd been. Please, come back. I promise I'll be better. I'll tell you that I love you every day and that I'm fucking happy that I'm carrying your child too." I was full-on sobbing, the strength of my cries reducing my words to incoherent mumbles.

"And I'll let you consume me whole. I'll let you reduce me to ashes because I fucking love you too, Ashton."

I heard a click, and then a gush of air hit my face. It took me a second to realize that the door opened. Lifting my gaze up, I came face to face with Ashton.

His brown eyes were now the color of honey, sweet and calm. I looked a fucking mess, snot dripping down my face, and I knew my eyes were bloodshot from all the crying I'd been doing.

Reaching down, he grabbed my arms and lifted me to my full height, which wasn't much in truth because even in heels, I only got up to his chest.

"It's going to hurt even worse if it turns out that you've been fibbing all this time, peaches because I heard every word," he said.

Releasing a scoff, I wiped my nose with my sleeve. "I never thought I'd hear that again."

"What?"

"Peaches," I mumbled, as I gazed down at his feet. "I like it when you call me that."

"I know." His voice was smug, and on any other day, I would have retorted about how massive his head was, but not today.

"I meant them, and I'm sorry. I didn't know he'd attack me like that. I'm pretty sure he did it because he knew you'd come."

Ashton lifted my head with one hand under my jaw, so our gazes locked. "I know. I was too angry to see it then."

"I'm sorry," I murmured.

He shook his head. "No. That's not what I want to hear. Say it again. The stuff you said outside just now."

My brows furrowed in confusion, then straightened when recognition dawned on me. "Oh, that. I was…Uh…I thought you were gone."

"And leave you alone with our baby? No chance in hell."

The words brought a smile to my lips. Of course, he wouldn't. If I ever doubted his loyalty to me, all doubts were gone now.

"I love you," I said.

The depth of emotion swirling in his eyes almost doubled me over. I wondered how long he'd been waiting to hear that, but I knew he wouldn't have to wait anymore because I had planned on saying it until I couldn't speak anymore.

"Does this mean you won't freeze like a deer in headlights whenever I whisper it in your ear?" he asked.

Despite myself, I chuckled. "No. I don't think so."

He smiled, a soft smile yet full of wickedness. I remembered his promise to me this evening, and my body hummed in anticipation.

"I love you, peaches." He kissed me, the salty taste of my tears mingling with the familiar taste of his mouth. "I've loved you from the beginning."

"Is this the part where you ask me to be your girlfriend?" I whispered against his lips, wrapping a hand around his neck as he pushed us further into the apartment and closed the door with a kick of his leg.

"I thought that was a given," he replied, hoisting me up so that my legs were wrapped around his waist.

"I'm a woman. It's not official until you ask." I pushed back so he could throw his shirt over his head. We made a mess of ripping our clothes off, and soon we were naked.

"That sounds like the beginning of a terrible love story," he said, and I chuckled, remembering his words to me that first night.

"But fine. If that's what you want." He threw me on his bed and jumped on top of me, positioning himself between my legs. I felt him press his stiff cock into my opening, his eyes glazing with unadulterated lust.

"Selma Volkov," he declared. "Peaches…will you be my girlfriend?"

When I screamed yes, I didn't know if it was because the thought of living without him left a sour taste in my mouth or because he pummeled into me so hard stars formed behind my eyes.

Either way, a yes was a yes.

The End.