51. Dirge

FIFTY-ONE

Dirge

O ne week later, full moon

The Johnson City pack's bonding clearing was in a peaceful spot, a nice little meadow sandwiched between a small lake and the forest. The moon was almost at its peak, and I stood quietly off to the side, watching the circle be prepared. Leigh had just scampered off to be with Shay, but she'd been overseeing the pack volunteers as they piled the circle high with bluebells, delphiniums, and several other types of blue flowers I didn't know the names of. They smelled nice, though.

Her ring weighed heavily in the pocket of my dress slacks, and my thoughts were nebulous as I stood barefoot in the grass. Anticipation for what was to come, gratitude that people I didn't even know had pulled together to make this happen on short notice. Shay was quiet, yes, but in the past week, I'd heard from many, many members of her old pack what a sweet, kind soul she was. They'd stopped and taken time to share little memories with me, and each one made me smile.

My mate had impacted so many more people than she ever knew. I absently patted my other pocket, where her gift lay. It was bittersweet, and I'd gone back and forth a hundred times in the span of a few days, because while I knew the memories were painful, I hoped they'd be healing.

I should have bought a backup gift. Just in case.

Shit .

Who thought it was a good idea to give their mate something sad on their bonding night?

A heavy hand fell on my shoulder, and I froze as Gael spoke.

"You look as twitchy as a squirrel in the middle of rush-hour traffic. What's wrong? Not having second thoughts, I hope?"

I shook my head, relieved to have company. "Not about Shay, just about what I chose as a gift."

"Ahh." Gael rocked back on his heels and regarded me thoughtfully. "You don't seem the type to choose something flippantly."

"No, I uh… no. I put a lot of thought into it, but what if she doesn't like it?"

"Doesn't like what?" Reed asked, jogging up a little short of breath.

"His bonding gift."

"Well, shit. What did you buy her? You've been out of society for a while, but I assumed you had this on lock." Reed seemed dismayed as he scanned me, as if the gift was going to be stamped on my forehead.

"I didn't buy her anything. I found her something."

"Which is …?" Reed gestured for me to spill, but I shook my head.

"It's private. If she wants to share it, that'd be up to her. But here are the rings." I passed him the box from my pocket.

Reed groaned as he accepted them. "Do I need to go into town? It would be tight, but I could find a decent tennis bracelet and get back in time."

Gael shoved him, giving him a stern look. "A tennis bracelet? You're such a douche."

"I'm fine," I chided my brother. Then quickly added, "But thank you."

He nodded, then surveyed the clearing. "For a small pack, they've got a really nice setup. The cabin is all ready to go, and the ladies who run the bonding ceremonies went above and beyond."

I smiled, excitement and anticipation starting to outweigh my nerves. I was going to be bonded tonight. To Shay, my sweet, beautiful Shay.

It was more than I ever dared dream of, ever allowed myself to hope for. And yet… it was happening.

Kane arrived shortly thereafter, and the three of them shot the shit and joked, trying to keep me entertained and out of my head, but I mostly let the chatter wash over me. I appreciated the company, but I wasn't in a chatty mood.

My wolf was pacing, pressing up against all my boundaries, wanting our mate. Eager to see her, eager to bite her, make her ours forever.

I adjusted myself, the semi I was already sporting not at all appropriate for an official ceremony.

Gael and Reed were arguing over something asinine when Kane leaned in close with a serious expression.

"You ready for all this?" He gestured to the women trailing flowers away from the mound into the woods where Shay would be walking out to meet me any moment.

I nodded, suddenly choked up. I was so ready, it felt like my entire life had been building to this one moment and the rest of my happiness hinged on it. She was everything, and I was prepared to spend the rest of my life loving her, making her happy .

"Good man." He patted me on the shoulder. "I wanted to ask you something now, before things get underway. If you don't mind?"

"Shoot."

"You acted as an enforcer before. And I will happily reinstate you as a working enforcer for the pack as we discussed previously, if that's what you want. But… you seem to have bonded with the women. They're close, but they let you in. And I was wondering if you might accept a less traditional role, but one that I think is doubly important given Brielle's special talents."

My eyebrows rose in surprise. "I'm listening."

"I'd like to make you the personal guard for the three of them. It'll be a paid position, same level as head enforcer. But your duty will be to protect them, specifically, instead of splitting your focus across the entire pack's security."

"You don't have to pay me to guard my mate," I said drily, even though I was already warming up to the idea. His parents had been killed, and while he had Gael watching his back, Brielle—any of the alpha mates, really—didn't have anyone permanently assigned by the pack order. It was an oversight long overdue for correction. "Shay is more than capable of taking care of herself. But I tentatively accept, as long as she agrees."

He nodded, his relief plain to see. "I don't know what's coming in the next few months. But I know it's going to be dangerous, for Brielle most of all. And while I'd normally assign Gael?—"

"He and Leigh can't stop fighting? I understand."

He gave me a grim smile in answer, then cast a glance up at the moon. "It's time. Are you ready?"

"I'm more ready for this than anything else in my life."

Kane chuckled. "Let's do this, then."

He called the other two, and we stepped into the circle of flowers, the sweet scent of them perfuming the air as we took our positions. Kane stood at the top of the circle, ready to officiate. Gael and Reed had my back, ready to serve their ceremonial duties.

It was different, being back in a pack. Sometimes, it felt like a too-tight pair of shoes that I was going to bust out of any second. And other times, like this, it was as easy as breathing.

As soon as we were in place, music began to waft softly through the trees. It was only the four of us, per Shay's request. There were some grumbles from the rest of the Johnson City females, but in the end, they acquiesced to Shay's desire for a private ceremony.

Within minutes, Brielle appeared, wearing a simple green gown and holding her bottle of perfume. Then came Leigh, holding a jar of special herbal water. I didn't know what was in it and I didn't care, because the sight that came behind her took my breath away.

Shay was everything beautiful and good in my life. And when I saw her wearing the frothy white gown, I almost choked at the lump in my throat. She gazed shyly down at the ground as she stepped up to take her place between her two best friends, her dark curls styled into a waterfall over one shoulder, the thin straps of her gown hiding nothing of her mating marks, the beautiful swirls calling me, inviting me in to finish them with my bite.

What had I ever done to deserve such perfection? I was unworthy. But I loved her with every cell of my being, every hair on my head. And I would work every day of forever to keep her content at my side. To show her how much I cherished her.

She was halfway across the clearing when she looked up, and our eyes met. She seemed uncertain, and it was like my own nerves evaporated. I wasn't here for stuffy traditions or for my pack mates. It was her. It had always been her.

And traditions were made to be broken .

I stepped out of the flowers, eating up the ground between us in long strides. And then she was there, close enough to kiss, to see the little blue blossoms woven into her hair. She was my own fairy, come to life from the pages of a book.

"Don't be afraid," I said, meaning every word as I stroked the line of her jaw with my thumb. "It's just me, and you, and the moon."