40. Shay

FORTY

Shay

T he solid jolt of the plane's wheels touching down woke me sometime around midday. My neck was a little stiff, but I'd slept surprisingly well, cuddled up to Dirge's side. Though when I looked up at his face, I was fairly certain he hadn't slept all that much.

"Everything okay?" I whispered the question, not wanting to disturb anyone else. The plane was quiet, nothing but the steady hum of its propellers and the rush of wind outside as we rolled to a stop to break the steady white noise.

"Yes, everything's fine. We're just stopping for fuel, as far as I know." He stroked my back, smiling softly down at me.

It hit me in that moment, that steady reassurance, his solid calm, the tender touch, and how long I'd been thirsting for the security that I felt. It wasn't the least bit logical; we were on the run, in the ODL's sights, while there was so much still unknown about our future.

They could catch up to us tomorrow, or in five years. But somehow, I felt safe. Grounded.

Loved.

That internal whisper knocked the breath right out of my lungs. Was this what it was like for all fated mates? I didn't think so. Because something about Dirge called to me, healed me, on a level nothing and no one else ever had. I didn't need children if I got to keep him. And I would make him understand that in time. We just needed to figure out a solid plan for now until we figured out the mess with the Fetya.

His thumb stroked lazily over my cheek, but still left a trail of fire in its wake. I felt it everywhere, straight down to my bones. He lit me up with even that small contact, and I was pretty damn sure I'd never get enough. Even if I lived forever.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He asked the question a low rumble in his chest meant only for my ears.

Sometimes I hated how bad I was with words. I wished I could tell him everything, how it felt to be in his arms, safe for the first time in my life. How he made me feel like a new person, a better person. How exciting it was to know we had our whole lives ahead of us, to learn and explore each other. It was poetry, and I was no poet.

Those were words I didn't possess. The reason I composed music.

"I think I love you," I whispered. But when I tried to duck my face against his chest, hide away from the aftermath of my confession, he caught my chin with his fingertips. Dirge's touch was gentle even as his grin was wild, half-cocked up on one side, his eyes were crinkled at the corners with joy.

"You think so, huh?" His voice grew husky, the evidence of his arousal making my own blood sing with answering need.

I nodded, suddenly speechless for a different reason.

He kissed me like someone was going to snatch me away from him, hands tangled in my curls so he could angle me to better plunder my lips. After a few moments, I pulled back, but I didn't let go. If he kept kissing me like he was a drowning man and I was his last hope for salvation, I'd be a puddle of need with no way to do a thing about it. There was no way we were joining the mile-high club two feet from our pack mates.

The plane had stopped, and people were stirring, so it was no time to be getting hot and bothered.

Unfortunately, that ship had sailed. The molten heat at my core demanded I find a quiet spot and do something about it.

Kane stood at the front of the plane. "We're just making a quick stop here for fuel. If you'd like to get out and stretch, use the restroom, or get a drink, there's an open hangar right over there."

He pointed out the window to where a bay door stood open on a very large hangar.

It must have been evidence of how small—or maybe just how broke—the Johnson City pack was, but I had no idea so many wolf packs were out there with private jets and hangars that rivaled small airports.

"Where are we?" Leigh asked groggily.

"Colorado. We have no personal ties here, so it should be relatively safe and give us a chance to touch base with Julius back home, see what the news is on the ODL attack at Ushagat Island."

"Great," she murmured, pushing to her feet and heading for the door before anyone else had moved. Leigh really hated small planes. I wouldn't be surprised if she was out there kissing the tarmac. Not that I could blame her; if I puked my guts up every time, I'd be making out with the lawn too.

"Shall we? I would love to stretch my legs, maybe take a quick walk in the woods?" Dirge whispered against the rim of my ear, the heat of his breath making me shudder with need pulsing just below the surface. I nodded frantically, my pulse pounding a rhythmic tattoo at my temples as I shoved aside the ridiculous image of Leigh, a blade of grass stuck in her teeth.

Dirge led me off the plane—where Leigh was nowhere to be found, probably already in the hangar—to the breathtaking sight of the Colorado Rockies. The white-capped peaks were stunning, majestic in the distance, even if not quite as large as what we saw heading into Alaska a month ago. Had it only been a month? It felt longer. A large lake next to the runway reflected the peaks. There was no wind, and the surface was crystalline blue glass.

It was pretty enough to be a postcard or a painting, and the fresh, clean air—slightly warmer than Alaska had been too—was a welcome change after we were breathing stale plane air all morning.

Dirge and I both quickly used the restroom, and when I came out, he was holding out an icy bottled water for me. The water was so cold, it hurt my teeth, but I drank it gratefully.

"Go for a walk with me?" The half lift of his handsome lips had me wanting to throw myself at him, but I hesitated.

"Are we clear to go wandering off?"

"Already let Kane know. He's getting a debrief from Julius right now, but things are quiet. We've got some time."

"Okay. But I had an idea first."

He cocked an eyebrow in question, but followed me silently as I crossed the hangar to where Brielle sat quietly on a couch, sipping her own water.

"Hey, Bri. I have a question. I know it's still new, but do you think you could try out those fertility powers and see if you could maybe… block a pregnancy?"

Brielle's eyes went wide. "Well, I've never done it before, but she did say that most omega powers took practice to learn… So, I could try? Do you feel a heat coming on or something?"

"No, nothing like that." I smiled. "Just more uncertainty with the information about me being half-fae if I'll even go into heat or require one to conceive. And this is too new, and we're not close to ready for a baby with all we've got going on."

She nodded. "I get it. If you're willing to wait until we're back in Johnson City, I could see about an implant or IUD for you, but frankly, those are spotty at best with our magic, and that's not accounting for your fae half. Hmm." She tapped her chin idly. "Worst that can happen is I can't figure it out."

Brielle leaned forward and placed her hand on my forearm, then closed her eyes. After a moment, she popped them back open. "You too, buddy." She waved for Dirge to proffer up an arm. He did, and as soon as her eyes fell closed, he shot me a wide-eyed look.

At first, nothing happened. We stood quietly while she hummed under her breath. But then heat blossomed, radiating through my abdomen. It didn't hurt, but it did start to itch after a few minutes, and I had to resist the urge to scratch. And then, as quickly as it started, it stopped.

She blinked up at us slowly, swaying a little from her seat on the couch. "That was interesting."

"Do you think it worked?" Dirge asked, and I noticed him subtly adjusting the waistband of his pants. I wondered if he'd gotten itchy too.

"I am 99.9% certain that you two will not be having babies any time soon. We can recheck in a few months, but… My wolf seemed to know exactly what to do, just like with Gracelyn." She smiled tiredly, and Kane appeared at her side.

"What are you doing over here?" he asked, rubbing her shoulders lightly.

"Testing out what my wolf can do. I could use an energy recharge, though, if you're done arranging things." She wiggled her eyebrows at him suggestively.

"I think that's our cue to leave. Thank you, Bri." I leaned in for a quick hug, then let Dirge lead me out of the hangar.

There was a small trail cut into the deciduous forest bordering the lake, and Dirge arrowed toward it as if he'd been here a hundred times before.

He was over three hundred years old… Maybe he had?

I didn't ask, though, because I didn't want to break the spell being woven between us as we walked, fingers linked, through the lovely wood. Soft, still-damp leaves bent underfoot with hardly a crunch as we followed the winding path. I couldn't tell you whose pack lands these were or how far we walked. All I knew was that the sound of running water reached us eventually, and a rocky outcropping came into view between the trees.

The sound got louder and louder until we stopped at the edge of the rocks. Dirge squeezed my fingertips with excitement, looking back at me with a giddy grin.

"Trust me?" he asked.

"Umm, yes?" I said, confused. Trust him to?—

He scooped me up in his arms so quickly that I couldn't dodge him. In three great strides, we were at the top of the rock, and I was still confused as I clung to his T-shirt.

"Hold your breath."

"What?"

He didn't answer, though. He just leapt.

Wind rushed past us, our surroundings went dark, and after a short screech, I remembered to clamp my mouth shut. Just in time, as water rushed over my head a heartbeat later. Dirge kept me crushed to his chest as we made entry, and it wasn't until I felt his strong kicks pushing us back to the surface of the water that I shoved free, kicking and stroking my own way to the top.

I broke the surface with a shocked gasp, dragging in air as he surfaced two feet away.

"Are you crazy!" I shouted and splashed him.

He ducked back from the spray and laughed, his grin showing off his straight, white teeth. "Not crazy, just a bit of an adrenaline junkie. Tell me you didn't feel like we were flying."

"Flying to our deaths , maybe!" I splashed him again, not really angry. But my pulse was pounding, my heart in my throat. The water was chilly, right on the edge of being uncomfortable .

In one strong stroke, he closed the distance between us, wrapping his arms around me as he kept himself afloat with his legs.

"I've been here a few times in the past, and one of the local pack showed me this spot. It's private, far from the main lands. Most people using the airstrip pass right on by without ever knowing it's here. A crime, if you ask me."

"It is beautiful," I murmured against the warmth of his neck. The heat radiating off him was enough to keep me cozy, despite the water temperature. The sound of running water had come from here, I realized, as I noticed the waterfall at one end of the grotto. The pool below us was deep, so deep the bottom wasn't visible in the limited light let in through the opening in the rocks above.

Dirge pushed us toward the falls, and I let him. Toward the rim of the pool, the water grew shallow, and before long, I felt the smooth black rock bump against the back of my legs.

We kept scooting back until we were horizontal, legs still in the water, but head and shoulders dry against the smooth river stone beneath us. The waterfall was close enough that we occasionally got splashed with a few droplets, a steady mist sparkling in the air like tiny diamonds.

Dirge hovered over me on his forearms so he was holding his own weight.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." His words were low, his touch reverent as he ran his fingertips along my clavicle, along the collar of the soaking shirt plastered to my skin. "How did I get so lucky? Goddess knows I don't deserve you."

"Goddess knows we're meant to be and that you're perfect for me," I said, correcting him gently. He was never going to stop kicking himself for going to the Fetya if I didn't make him. One mistake, one that he saw as a weakness, and it was enough to condemn him as flawed to himself forever. But I didn't see it that way. "Three hundred years is a long, long time to be alone. I don't fault you for wondering, and I don't fault you for what happened with that assassin."

He opened his mouth to object, but I put my hand tenderly over it. I had to work to focus when he sucked my fingertip into his mouth, working the digit with his tongue.

"I'm serious, Dirge. You haven't known me very long yet, but I can guarantee that even if you hadn't been there, I'd have jumped in front of that knife. Whether we'd met or not been mates, I was destined to take that knife for Bri. I protect my family."

"So fierce, muzic? mea." His fingertips wandered down my side, leaving goose bumps in their wake. He teased the bare strip of skin under the hem of my shirt, making me suck in a breath through my teeth. I was still aroused from before, the heat thrumming just beneath the surface. And now I was riding an adrenaline spike too. "That's part of what makes me love you so much."

His finger continued to play as I tried to make my tongue work again. "Only part?"

"Mm, yes. A large part, but there's so much more to you."

I kept my eyes on his, deep down still uncertain that he could see me that way. I was so broken. Surely he saw that? I was as flawed as they came.

"You're fierce, yes, but also sweet. Soft and caring with those you love. You see everything, even though you say so little. Intelligence that matches your beauty inside and out."

His hand swept up under the shirt, fingertips trailing along the underside of my breast. The interplay of hot and cold was driving me wild. I arched into his grip, and a smile spread slowly across his face.

"That's it, Shay. Tell me what you want."

"You. I just want you." I breathed the words, and I meant every one. I wanted him, all of him, with no holding back.