7. Nikolai

7

NIKOLAI

I ’m still staring at the human woman when I notice just on the horizon the start of sunrise.

“Fuck,” I mutter, but it comes out as a rough rasp. I can already feel how drained my magic is after the fight. I used it to make my blows more powerful, and between that and the slow healing, there isn’t enough left for a full sun glamour.

The woman shifts to her feet, and my eyes dart back to her. Despite some scratches and the blood crusted on her shoulder, she looks fine. My venom must have helped her – and further depleted my magic.

Before I can decide what I will do, the first rays of light creep over the edge. The burning smell of flesh tickles my nose, and I twist to see the vrakken behind me blistering beneath the sun creeping up. Very little light is touching us now, but as it climbs, I know that it will do great damage to him. Even if he can’t die.

And I will leave him here to suffer it.

But as the light casts over me, I have to draw up the dredges of my magic, stopping the healing that was spreading – so, so slowly – through my body. Blood has already dried along my face, itching my skin, but my abdomen is still pouring blood and my shattered leg isn’t supporting any of my weight.

The rising sun continues to creep over the trees, rays of light inching closer. I can already feel my glamour weakening as the magic holding it together frays.

My eyes dart back to the woman. I should leave her and get to safety, but the thought twists like a knife in my gut. She looks so small and fragile. Vulnerable.

I take an instinctive step toward her, desperate to shield her from harm. But my shattered knee gives out and I just catch myself before I crash to the forest floor with a grunt. The impact jars my torn abdomen, fresh blood leaking through my fingers as I clutch the wound but manage to stay upright.

“You need help,” she says softly, and I almost laugh at the notion. I will heal, unlike a human.

But I don’t tell her that. I don’t tell her anything. It's no use. I don't have the strength to protect her. And if I try to take her anywhere, my blood will draw predators she stands no chance against in her weakened state. I’m not foolish enough to let both of us suffer because of my decisions, even if something is pulling at me, begging me not to leave her.

I wasn’t chosen by the temple because I am weak. I do what is right.

Even if it feels so wrong.

As the sunlight inches closer, I make my decision. Using the last dregs of magic, I will get to the wildspont base and send help for this girl. It's her only hope now.

I unfurl my wings, forcing them to spread so I can take to the skies. It will be fastest, even if it will use more energy. It is my best option.

Her eyes widen as she takes in my wings behind me. I find myself wishing I had the luxury of time to see what other reactions my inhuman features draw from her.

But the creeping sunlight leaves me no choice. With a pained groan, I push myself off the forest floor. The rays make my skin prickle with heat, though not enough to blister yet. It’s coming, though. I can feel that much.

She takes a small step forward. "Where are you going?" Her voice trembles slightly.

"Find shelter." It's all I can manage through clenched teeth as my shredded muscles scream in protest. But I have just enough magic left to do what must be done.

Before she can speak again, I beat my wings, which I suddenly realize have small tears I don’t recall getting, and launch myself skyward with a powerful downstroke. The damaged tissue strains and pulls, but holds as I fly upward, my eyes sweeping the forest floor.

Leaving her behind tears at my heart. But it's the only way to save her now. Gripping that truth, I push on through the agony. She needs me, and I will not fail her.

Maybe I’m closer than I think. Maybe Lev and the accolades are not far. I just need to find a sign of a wildspont base, any base, but with my weakened state I can’t feel the thrumming magic of other vrakken gathered. I’m stuck scouting, instead, and that is going to take longer than I have time for.

My wings slice through the air just above the treetops, straining against the wounds but somehow keeping me aloft. I grit my teeth as fiery pain lances through the shredded muscles with each rapid beat.

My tattered skin throbs as sunlight beats down, slowly wearing away the last of my magic. Rivulets of sweat mix with blood, blisters forming on my back as my glamour breaks.

“Fuck, no,” I grit out as I keep pushing, my body being ripped to shreds by the light and wind. I still don’t know where I’m going, and I am forced to face the truth: I’m not going to make it to the base.

I’m going to have to heal first, which means that the woman is going to be left all alone in the forest. The thought is unbearable, more so than the pain radiating through me, so I have to keep pushing.

Suddenly my right wing crumples, the overexerted tissues giving out. I cry out as I plummet through branches, the sharp limbs tearing through skin and scale as I struggle to stay aloft. With a massive effort, I wrench my wings straight just before crashing headfirst into the unforgiving dirt.

I hover unevenly, chest heaving. But my brief reprieve is shattered as the left wing goes limp, sending me spinning out of control. I slam into a tree, feeling ribs crack on impact before I can push off and correct my trajectory.

"No, no, no," I rasp as I frantically scan the forest below. My skin is sloughing off in charred strips now, vision going dim at the edges. I'm losing too much blood and magic sustaining my decaying glamour. I won't make it to the base at this rate.

Just ahead, I spot a cluster of caves carved into a shaded rock face. With a frustrated roar, I angle my ragged descent and crash onto the cool stone floor, my ruined body finally giving out.

Finally shielded from the sun's merciless rays, I release my faltering sun glamour with a gasp of relief. The magic falls away, and yet I feel worse than I did before.

My empty well of magic hurts like a physical wound and my mouth is parched. My body is begging for blood that I can’t be bothered to hunt for right now.

My shredded tunic hangs in tatters, soaked crimson, but my pants are mostly intact with small tears down the legs. With trembling fingers, I rip a strip of cloth from my tunic and tie it tightly around the gaping abdominal wound, biting back a scream as the pressure sends white-hot agony lancing through my nerves.

“I need to fucking heal,” I snarl at my failing body.

Maybe this is my punishment. For deceiving the Council, for not being honest about putting my goddess first, I don’t know. But I can’t believe that Fate is not involved in what has happened to me today.

My vision dims, consciousness threatening to slip away as blood trickles down my stomach. Breathing deep, I ride out the torture until it recedes to a throbbing ache.

Once I can see clearly again, I place my palm over my leg, knowing that I need it more than anything, and murmur a weak healing spell. It likely does little, but it's all I can manage now.

Utterly spent, with no magic or strength left to give, I know rest is my only hope for recovery. Maybe the First will bless me with an animal wandering too close and I’ll find some blood to replenish what I’ve lost.

As I give in to the black oblivion calling me, my final thoughts are of hazel eyes and thick curly hair. And even as I lose the battle against my body, panic surges through me at the reminder of who I left out there...

Will she make it?

Or is this just the beginning of what will come after her without me by her side?