29. Jessa

29

JESSA

U nlike when I was before the Council, I don’t feel nervous or fearful as Nikolai settles me on the bed. He closes the door behind us, turning to drink me in.

“My mate,” he murmurs, and the words do something to me.

I lean back on my hands, spreading my legs a little. “Come here.”

Ripping off his tunic, he prowls forward, catching me in a deep kiss. I open my lips to him, letting him in, and he groans as his tongue slides against mine.

His hands push at the straps of my dress as I undo his pants, and in minutes, we are both naked. Instead of crawling over me, though, Nikolai lifts me in his arms.

I lock my legs around his waist, feeling the head of his cock already hard and teasing at me as he turns and presses me against the wall. His hands grip my ass and he dips his head down to kiss along my throat.

My hands get lost in his hair as I let him, his wings curving around us, and I am gasping for air by the time he drags his mouth up to my ear. “Jessa,” he murmurs.

“Yes,” I moan, rolling my hips but unable to get the friction I need.

“I have to tell you something.”

His voice is serious, and I pull my eyes open to look at Nikolai. He shifts me, leaning forward so our foreheads are pressed together. “The Change…It is not easy.” He swallows hard. “I have no doubt you’ll survive it, but I worry about the pain you’ll be in.”

I shake my head, gripping the back of his head tighter. “Your bite has never hurt me.”

Nikolai's brow furrows, his glowing eyes filled with worry. "The pleasure you've felt from my bite before is nothing compared to the agonizing pain that comes with the Change. My venom will course through you, violently converting your blood. It will make your body convulse and spasm beyond your control."

He strokes my cheek tenderly with the backs of his hand. "I can try to numb the pain, but it will still be excruciating at times. You'll be so weak, barely able to move or speak. I'll stay by your side, comfort you as best I can, but I can't take the suffering away completely."

I press closer against him, meeting his troubled gaze unwaveringly. "I know it will be hard, but we'll get through it together. I want this, Nikolai. I want to be your mate. The pain will be worth it in the end."

He sucks in a deep breath, seeming contemplated. “Let me give you my bite first, so you won’t feel it.”

I nod, eager as he lowers his mouth to my breast. He kisses down my chest, licking and sucking until I am writhing and moaning in his arms. And then he clamps down.

That familiar euphoric feeling pushes through my veins, clouding my mind and heightening my senses until all I feel is the tingles of pleasure.

“ Yes , Nikolai!” I hold onto him tighter as he moves across my skin, repeating the process with my other breast. He works me into a whimpering mess as he pulls and sucks on the peak and then his fangs pierce the sensitive skin. “Fuck!”

I’ve taken two bites before, so the rush of endorphins isn’t new to me. But my body is starting to grow weak as it pulses through me. Still, Nikolai kisses lower, shifting me up so that my legs are over his shoulders.

His arms pin my hips in place. I gasp as he reaches the moist folds between my legs and picks up my scent, inhaling deeply. His eyes glint with hunger as he lowers his mouth towards me, pushing my thighs apart slightly to get better access. I feel his breath warm against my sensitive flesh, making me shiver in anticipation.

Oh goddess...

"Nikolai," I moan his name, unable to contain myself any longer. He takes me into his mouth with a groan of pleasure, his tongue dancing wildly with desire.

Each flick of his tongue lights me up like a fire, setting off sparks throughout my body that race up to every nerve ending. It’s only enhanced by his venom.

He licks and sucks on my clit, alternating between the two until I'm arching off the wall in ecstasy. He licks and laps at it greedily like a starving man finding sustenance for the first time in centuries.

He slows his pace, teasing me, sucking and nibbling on my inner thighs as if to torture me. I'm so close to the edge but can't seem to orgasm. "Please, I'm begging you."

"Begging for what?" he teases, his accent thick and hungry. He continues his torment, licking and nibbling all around my aching core.

"I..." The words catch in my throat as another wave of pleasure crashes over me. "I-I..."

"Say it, ómorfi ." His tongue swirls around my clit again, making me moan with abandon.

"I... I beg you... finish me off," I whimper.

With a growl of victory, he plunges two fingers inside me as he sucks roughly on my clit. Stars explode behind my eyes as my orgasm rips through me like lightning.

I arch my back, moaning his name. Fuck, I'm addicted to this, addicted to him.

He doesn't relent, even when my thighs shake and my nails dig into his shoulders. He continues to suckle and finger me until I'm a quivering mess of spent energy, unable to form a coherent thought.

Finally, he pulls away with a smug grin. His face is slick with my juices as he slowly licks his fingers. “I can’t wait to do that for the rest of my life.”

I hold on to him, wobbling as I try to stay balanced. “You can do that…” I gasp for air. “Whenever you want.”

“Good.” He leans in, kissing the inside of my thigh and from the euphoria of his venom and the orgasm, I barely notice as he bites the skin on either leg. He drinks a mouthful on either side before shifting me back into his arms.

Just in time as the boneless feeling of his efforts rushes over me, my eyelids droop. I’m barely holding onto him, and I know he’s doing this on purpose.

Nikolai crushes his mouth to mine desperately, kissing me with bruising force as if to imprint himself on me. When he finally pulls back, resignation fills his eyes.

"I think you’re ready.” I nod numbly. “Then we will begin." He carries me to the bed, laying me down gently on top of the pillows. It’s a struggle to keep my eyes open, but I force myself to watch as he brings his wrist to his mouth, fangs glinting.

My heart pounds, but I don't look away. Nikolai rips open his own skin. Crimson blood wells up as he presses the wound to my lips.

"Drink, Jessa," he rasps. "And when you can take no more, I will take from you in return. Let the Change begin."

I part my lips, the coppery blood filling my mouth. Nikolai meets my gaze, ancient sorrow and devotion etched on his face. Then he lowers his head to my outstretched wrist, and I see more than feel as he rips open the skin there.

I swallow mouthful after mouthful of Nikolai's blood as his fangs sink deeper into my wrist. At first all I feel is the ecstasy he has pumped through me, the absolute addicting blissful state.

But then the spasms start - my muscles jerking and twitching uncontrollably. Nikolai holds me tighter, never ceasing his rhythmic swallows.

Despite his venom, pain begins leaking through, flashes like strikes of lightning across my foggy mind. I try to focus on Nikolai's presence, his solid body anchoring mine.

I’m sure it would be much worse if he hadn’t already numbed my whole body and drugged me with an orgasm.

When he finally pulls back, I'm too weak to keep drinking. My head lolls to the side, vision blurring. I just make out Nikolai above me, his mouth and chin stained red.

"Jessa," he says urgently. "Stay with me, ómorfi ."

I try to respond but only a faint moan escapes. More convulsions wrack my frame and I arch off the bed.

Nikolai is there, pinning me down, his voice a distant murmur. I feel the pinch of fangs again, pleasure temporarily driving back the agony.

His hands caress me, no doubt meant to soothe, but I'm fading fast. Still I cling to consciousness, knowing he needs me awake.

As my trembling slowly eases, Nikolai gathers me close, surrounding me with his warmth and scent. His fingers comb through my damp hair.

"I'm here, I have you," he repeats over and over. Darkness eats at the edges of my vision, but I focus on his voice – my anchor in the storm.

Even as I cling to the sound of Nikolai's voice, the pain continues to build. It feels like my blood itself is on fire, the venom scorching through my veins. I'm no longer trembling – my entire body is locked in rigid agony.

Through the haze I feel Nikolai adjust his hold, one arm under my knees and the other bracing my back as he lifts me. We're moving, the cool night air whispering across my fevered skin.

"Just a little longer," Nikolai says, his voice tight with anguish. "I'll do everything I can, I swear it."

My cheek presses against the chill stone wall a moment later. Nikolai keeps me pinned there with his body as his fingers trail down my stomach. Despite the pain, I feel a throb of anticipation.

"Let me give you this," he rasps in my ear. "One more before..."

He doesn't finish, just hitches my leg around his hip. I cry out as he pushes inside me, my raw nerves protesting even this invasion. But Nikolai starts to move, each thrust careful and controlled.

The pleasure builds slowly, warring with the agony in my blood. I cling to him, panting and moaning. When I finally peak, it's almost more relief than ecstasy.

Nikolai doesn't stop, keeping me tethered to him through the haze of pain. "I love you," he vows brokenly. "Stay with me, Jessa. Just a little longer."

I summon my last bit of strength to nod before the darkness drags me under at last.