14. Jessa

14

JESSA

“ Y ou just need someone with the right touch, don’t you?” I murmur to the plants. I don’t even blink at it, though I can see some of the other humans glancing in my direction. I’ve been talking to plants my entire life.

Most of the time, they were the only thing I could trust on the farm.

“I think those things have grown twice as high in the week you’ve been here,” Alina says, coming up behind me. “Half of them were dying under my watch.”

I stand up, brushing the dirt off my hands on my pants. “It’s all I’ve ever done.”

She slings an arm around my shoulder. I’ve learned over the last few days that Alina’s bubble personality does not wear down. She’s always upbeat, skipping around and checking on everyone. I’m pretty sure her job is to keep the humans happy, but I haven’t pried.

Honestly, I’m still trying to piece together what this place is.

Alina has explained a little more to me. The lore behind the vrakken is hard to wrap my mind around, but I guess it shouldn’t shock me that there are other planets. The First, a woman Made from a human herself, was given her magic and strength and wings from their god, Akeldama. She was given one year to Make more vrakken, and then he brought them all to Protheka. He even brought humans here, they say.

The Thirteen didn’t like that, though, and they made the dark elves. It was an all out battle after that. The vrakken and the dark elves used everything in their power – even begging their gods for new races like the manticore and dragon shifters – to try and topple the other.

The vrakken were eventually driven underground, though, when the First went missing, and they stayed there until recently. Apparently, over time, as they mated with humans, their magic diminished and their wings started to disappear.

The wildspont has always hidden them, the magic here so intense and potent it can scramble anyone not used to it, but now, as they’ve returned to the surface and found so many humans ready to turn on the dark elves, they knew it was time.

The First told them that only one race could walk the surface. And they are certain it will be them.

“Well, you’ve done a great job,” Alina says as she steers me out of the farming area. “We’ll make it another month with you.” And then under her breath, she adds, “Hopefully more.”

My eyes sweep around the courtyard area. All week, the training center has been empty. The vrakken lounge about, looking more like the dark elves than I’m sure they’d want to hear.

If there is a war brewing, it seems these vrakken haven’t heard.

As Alina leads me away from the vegetable gardens, I catch sight of Nikolai storming from one of the ramshackle barracks buildings. His massive wings are flared out rigidly, his usually fluid gait now jagged with barely contained rage. Even from a distance, his fury is palpable.

He hasn't so much as glanced in my direction since we arrived at the base over a week ago, acting as if I'm invisible. The dismissal cuts deeply, especially after the tender intimacy we shared.

I watch Nikolai disappear through the carved double doors of the vrakken wing, leaving one slightly ajar in his haste. Determination wells up inside me – it's time I get some answers directly from him, no matter how he tries to avoid me.

I make an excuse about feeling tired to Alina before slipping away across the courtyard. My nerves rise with each step closer, heart pounding against my ribs.

The vrakken wing is dim and quiet compared to the bustle outside. It’s also wider and taller, I notice, to accommodate their size I suppose. I trail down the hallway, peeking into rooms until I find the one Nikolai entered.

Inside the small cluttered office, he’s hunched over a heavy oak desk, completely immersed in a massive leather-bound tome. His wings twitch with agitation as he studies the arcane pages filled with strange symbols and diagrams in faded ink.

Nikolai's brow is deeply furrowed, jaw clenched in concentration. He shows no sign of noticing my presence as I linger uncertainly in the doorway.

Finally, I knock lightly on the open door to get his attention. Nikolai's piercing amber eyes snap up to meet mine, surprise flashing across his stony features before being quickly masked. Immediately, he looks away.

"We need to talk," I say as firmly as I can, refusing to be intimidated. "You owe me some answers."

At first Nikolai tries dismissing me, glancing back down at the books. “I’m busy, and I have nothing to say to you.”

"I'm not leaving until you give me some answers," I state defiantly, tilting my chin up to meet his glare.

Nikolai's jaw tightens with anger. "There is nothing to discuss. Return to the humans where you belong."

His cold words make me see red. "You don't get to pretend nothing happened between us! You saved my life, healed me, made me feel..." I falter, a blush rising to my cheeks.

Nikolai looks up, jaw flexing, but he doesn’t quite meet my gaze. "That was a mistake. Let it go."

"A mistake?" I repeat incredulously. "Why did you help me then? What aren't you telling me?"

Nikolai snarls in frustration. "I don’t owe you an explanation! You should be grateful I brought you to the base at all."

"Grateful for being treated as invisible?" I shoot back bitterly. "I deserve more than cruelty after what we shared!"

His massive wings flare out. "It was sex. Inconsequential. Stop acting like it was more."

Nikolai shoves away from the table and tries striding past me out the door, but I step into his path, arms crossed stubbornly. "Get out of my way, human," he growls through gritted teeth as he continues to stare over my head.

I tilt my chin up defiantly, trying – and failing – to meet his fiery glare. "Not until you give me some answers. You don't get to pretend nothing happened between us!"

Nikolai's massive wings flare out in agitation. "I told you, that was a mistake – one I regret deeply. Now let it go."

"A mistake?" I repeat incredulously. "The way you held me, touched me so gently...I know you felt something real!"

His jaw flexes as he looks away. "You know nothing about me or my kind. There can be nothing between us. I was weak and endangered us both."

“Endangered us?” I shake my head. “ I saved you . And now you are treating me like we shared nothing! And it wasn’t just sex. There was more there. What we did–”

Nikolai leans down, fangs bared inches from my face. Even still, he won’t quite meet my eyes. His gaze roams my face as he snarls out, "There is no 'we'! You forget your place, human."

Refusing to be intimidated, I stand my ground. "And what exactly is my place, Nikolai?"

Nikolai's eyes fix over my shoulder as he grits out, "You are no one. A mere human who knows nothing of my world. Stay in your place before you get hurt."

His cruel words make my blood boil. I step even closer, mere inches separating us now. "Admit you feel nothing when you look at me. Say I mean nothing to you!"

Nikolai snarls, massive wings trembling with restraint. "You are nothing. An insignificant speck in my existence."

The words pierce my heart but I press on recklessly. "Is that why you can’t even look at me?"

His jaw goes tight and his wings snap in tighter, but he drags those amber eyes up to meet mine. The air crackles between us as I step closer, leaving no distance between us.

“Say it again,” I whisper. “Say I am nothing right to my face.”

With an inhuman growl, Nikolai's mouth crashes down on mine, his large hands grasping my hips roughly. I gasp and he deepens the kiss, our tongues tangling together.

My fingers tangle in his hair, pulling him against me desperately. I moan as his hands roam my body almost angrily.

The moan seems to break him out of his trance, though. Just as suddenly as the kiss started, Nikolai shoves me away violently. I stumble back, knees weak and lips swollen from the searing kiss.

Nikolai stands rigidly, chest heaving and eyes blazing with self-loathing. "That should not have happened. It was a grievous mistake."

I reach for him tentatively. "Nikolai, I felt your passion, your need. You want this as much as I do."

He recoils from my touch as if burned. "You know nothing of what I want or need! I compromised myself with you because I was on the brink of no return and will not do so again."

His cruel words cut deeply, leaving me reeling. "How can you deny what's between us after that?" I ask in bewilderment.

Nikolai turns away, fists clenched tightly. "There is nothing between us but foolish impulses. I will not indulge them further. Forget this ever happened."

Before I can respond, Nikolai stalks from the room, massive wings pulled in tight. The echo of the heavy door slamming shut behind him rings with dreadful finality.

I sink to the floor, wrapping my arms around myself as sobs wrack my body. Once again I am left shaken and bereft by Nikolai's mercurial nature. But I cannot forget the fire of his lips, no matter how hard he tries to douse the flames ignited between us.