Chapter 12

Sage

More snow has covered the ground since yesterday. Temperatures haven't felt like they've dropped too much, but it's still cold as hell. I wrap the fur Jodah gave me more tightly around my shoulders.

"Is that what you're wearing today?" Zara slowly gestures up and down with her finger.

I open the fur again and glance down at myself. I'm dressed for warmth. "What's wrong with it?"

She cocks her head. "You're going to meet your in-laws sometime today, right?"

"Yeah," I draw out.

"Maybe you could wear something a little less…geriatric."

"Geriatric?" I gape. "There's at least two or three inches of snow on the ground and it's cold as shit out there and you want me to change my clothes when this cardigan is the warmest thing I have clean at the moment?"

"It was just a suggestion." Zara rolls her hands palm up. "If you're comfortable wearing that, then go right ahead."

I glance down at myself again. Great, now she's got me paranoid. So what if it's an ugly dirt brown polyester blend with big yellow embroidered flowers along the front? It's also not as though I have a lot of options. Makayla and I didn't pack for a damn blizzard.

I groan. "You suck, you know that. If you think I should wear something else, then you're going to have to loan it to me, because this is all I got."

Zara smiles wide. "I have the perfect thing, actually."

While she rummages through her trunk looking for whatever she thinks is so spectacular, I'm having in internal panic attack. She and I are about the same size, except I'm more than four inches taller than her and my boobs are significantly bigger. I'm not sure how that's going to work.

"A-ha, found it." She twirls around and holds up a long-sleeve, cowl-neck velvet top in a rich burgundy color.

Okay, fine. So maybe that is a much better choice. I grudgingly admit it's pretty. Beautiful, actually. "It doesn't look very warm."

"You've got your fur and you're already wearing a long-sleeve shirt of some kind, aren't you? Put this on over it. It has plenty of breathing room." Zara holds it out to me. "Here, try it on."

Huffing, I drop my fur and move to my knees. She passes the blouse over once I have my geriatric cardigan off, exposing the shirt underneath, and I slip the lush velvet over my head. It settles around my waist, and I smooth the front of it down just to admire the texture. It does fit surprisingly well and actually detracts from my chest size despite the hanging cowl. At least from this view it does. I glance at Zara with raised brows.

"So? Do I look less like an old lady?"

"It's perfect and might even look better on you than it does me."

Ha. At least there's that.

"Now you look like you're ready to go meet your in-laws." Zara nods with a bit too much self-satisfaction.

"They're not really my in-laws. Jodah and I are still feeling out this whole mate bond, or lack of bond, thing." I sit back on my heels.

She clasps her hands in her lap. "Even after your make-out session last night, his soul thing still didn't come on?"

I'd confessed that he and I had kissed, but I hadn't elaborated more than that. "Nothing."

"Can I ask you a question?"

I chuckle. "Since when have you ever asked if you could ask?"

"When I want you to give it some serious consideration," Zara says with equal seriousness.

"Ask away."

"Who's more concerned about Jodah's soul whatever turning on? You or him? If it never lights up, will it make you any less mated than you already are?"

Jodah's called me his mate on more than one occasion. Is it me that's more worried it won't ever turn on? Am I still searching for that fairy tale?Or maybe it's my fault it hasn't turned on. Even though I don't believe in Deeka—or any higher power for that matter—maybe she doesn't find me a worthy mate for Jodah. Maybe being a murderer gets me disqualified.

"You know, it's not very nice of you to make me do so much self-reflection this early in the morning." I grumble.

Zara laughs and looks at the non-existent watch on her wrist. "You know it's half-way to the midday meal, right?"

I roll my eyes. "Whatever."

There's a smack on the hide door flap. Since her pallet is closest, she gets up and opens it. The slight gruff voice of Jodah reaches me.

"Greetings, Zara. I am looking for Sage."

I scramble to my feet, and she moves out of the way. My pulse kicks up, and that funny sensation inside me flares again at the sight of him standing there. The softly blowing wind makes his long, golden hair twirl and his mating marks appear to darken in the sunlight. The wound left by the luani is healed, but some scabbing remains.

"Hi." I'm far too breathless for having done nothing but walk the few steps from my pallet to here.

"Greetings, Sage." Jodah's gaze skims over the shirt I'm wearing and with only a single glance from his dilated pupils my nipples harden. "You look lovely."

My cheeks heat at the simple compliment and that thing in my chest brightens. Behind me, Zara coughs out a barely audible "told you so", but I ignore her.

"Thank you."

"I was hoping you would walk with me down to the river to search for stones."

"I'd love to. Let me get my blanket." I close the flap and rush over to my pallet for the discarded fur.

"Have fun," Zara calls out.

With my blanket around me, I step outside. The cold wind blows, and that light scent of mint and sweet smoke mixed with the musky fragrance of male hits me. Like I've done nearly each time we've walked together, I loop my arm around Jodah's elbow and snuggle into his side. I love touching him, and since he hasn't discouraged it, I'll keep holding on. We stride through the village in the direction of the river.

The other women and I stopped washing in the water a few weeks ago. It's too damn cold. Now, we have to carry buckets back to our tents and warm them over our fires. On a few occasions, we've been able to fill a couple enormous basins and take a real bath and wash our hair, but we have to share the water. We've taken to drawing lengths of sinew to see who gets to use it first. It's not ideal, but it's our only option until the warm season returns.

"How did your sparring go this morning?" I forced myself to not go and check on him every five minutes.

"It did not go as well as I had hoped, but only because it has been so many turns of the sun since I have been in the training arena. I fatigued far too quickly, but I know that my strength will return. I must learn to practice patience. Something I do not always do well with."

I squeeze Jodah's arm in sympathy. "I'm not great at being patient either, so I understand the frustration. But you're right. You'll get your strength back."

"Your confidence means a lot."

We finally arrive at the shore. Thin chunks of ice float down river. I shudder thinking about getting in the water.

"What sort of stones are you looking for?" I release Jodah's arm and scan the water's edge.

"Light colored ones with smooth edges are the best. None any bigger than a ketri kit."

I'm not sure I've ever seen a baby ketri. The ones I haveseen are small, but that doesn't mean some aren't smaller. I make a circle with my fingers of each hand so my fingertips barely touch each other. "How's this for size?"

Jodah glances at me and nods. "That is perfect."

I do a giddy little dance. Yay me. Together we stroll along, our eyes focused on the water that is luckily clear enough to see the bottom. At least in the shallow area along the shoreline. I let out a little squeal.

"Oh, what about this one?" I point toward it. Call me a baby, but I'm not sticking my hand in there if I don't have to.

He comes alongside me and glances toward where I'm gesturing. Jodah squats and reaches into the water for it. "Excellent find."

I preen at the praise. He slips the stone into a small pouch that hangs from his waist, and we go back to searching. By the time we're finished, we've collected five perfect stones and it's almost time for the midday meal.

"My nene asked if we would take our meal with her and my baba."

Nerves I'd kept at bay act up and the sinking sensation settles in my gut. It must take me too long to answer, because Jodah palms my cheek.

"What is wrong? Do you not want to eat with them?"

I shake my head. "No, it's not that."

"Then what?" he coaxes gently.

"What if they don't like me?" I blurt out.

A small smile curls Jodah's lips. "How could they not like you? You are kind, smart, and my nene knows how hard you worked to take care of me when I was ill. She has already told me what a blessing you are. Not only to me, but to her. She will love you."

His words make me breathe a bit easier, but the uneasiness hasn't disappeared completely. What if they knew that part of the reason I worked so hard keeping him alive was because I didn't want another death on my conscience?

Finally, I nod. "Okay."

Jodah lowers his hand and I miss the warmth of his touch.

"Before we go, I wanted to give you something," he says.

I jerk and blink. "Me?"

He reaches into the pouch slung off his hip and pulls out the stones we found one by one until he brings out another and then drops the rest back inside. "It is not perfect, but I thought you might like this."

In his hand is a stone with markings on it. I take it from him, glance up at his face, and then drop my gaze. My eyes widen and my stomach flip-flops. It's a crude drawing, but it's obvious what—who—I'm looking at. Staring back at me from the fist-sized stone is him. It is in black ink, so the nuances of his hair and purple skin aren't visible, but Jodah is unmistakable.

I stroke my fingers over the mating marks he's meticulously drawn. A quick comparison shows he's made them to look exactly like the ones on his own body. Same with the four claw marks given to him by the luani. I lift my head.

"This is absolutely incredible. It's the nicest thing anyone has ever given me." I rise up on my toes and kiss him. "Thank you. I will treasure this forever."

Before I can drop back to my feet, Jodah wraps his arm around me and tugs me close. His mouth moves over mine in a far deeper kiss. I open and his tongue slips in to glide across mine. A weight winds itself around my thigh and it takes me a second to realize it's his tail. The tip of it strokes along the back of my leg, a shiver dashes down my spine, and heat settles between my thighs.

A hardness grows against my belly and without conscious thought, I rub myself against it. Jodah groans into my mouth and a burning heat fills my chest. It grows so hot, I hiss at the sensation. He pulls back and stares down at me.

"Is all well?"

"Yeah." I press my knuckles in the space between my breasts to ease the pressure. "I think I might have heartburn or something. I'll see if Kyler has something for it."

Jodah cocks his head. "Heartburn? What is that? Are you ill?"

I laugh, even though I asked myself the same question recently. "Humans have stomach acid that helps to digest their food. Sometimes that acid rises up through the tube that leads from their mouth to their stomach and causes what we call heartburn. It's not dangerous or anything. Well, not too dangerous usually."

He doesn't look like he believes me, but he slowly dips his head. "I trust your knowledge of these things."

"Come on. We should probably get to your parents' so they don't think we've forgotten about them." I hold tight to the stone Jodah gave me. I'm not sure I'll let loose of it any time soon.

"Yes, we should go." He threads his fingers through mine. "I am happy you enjoy your gift."

I squeeze his hand. "I love it. Thank you."

Together, we walk away from the river and head toward the section of the village which houses all of the elders' tents. I'd been worried about meeting Jodah's parents, but as we walk in that direction, I do my best to let it roll off me. Everyone here has been welcoming for the most part. I don't suspect this time it will be any different. Especially not after his reassurances. I finally have a mate, even if we're still getting to know each other. Things are looking up for me. I'm not going to borrow any trouble. I've had enough of it to last me a lifetime.