Chapter 10

Sage

It's ridiculous how giddy I am for the evening meal and the possibility of seeing Jodah again. I left him at his tent hours ago, and he'd missed the midday meal. A voice kept telling me to go check on him, but he'd been exhausted, so I resisted. Instead, I tried to pass the time in the healer's tent doing inventory. Again. Even though I'd just done it and, other than Jodah, we haven't had any patients in a few days. I also practiced my stitching on a few scraps of hide, trying to get good enough that I can possibly keep any scarring to a minimum for any future injured warriors.

"Why don't you just go get him, instead of pacing?" Zara asks as she cleans up from the ashes and smoke of the forge.

I stop in front of my pallet where I'd folded the dhembe fur I forgot to give back. "He might still be resting."

She cocks her head and side-eyes me. "You're just making up an excuse. I thought things went well with you guys this morning? Why are you being so skittish now?"

"I don't know." I throw up my hands in frustration. "Everything was perfect earlier. But what if when we see each other again, it's not how I remembered it being between us? Walking and talking with him felt so easy. All the awkwardness was gone. I'm worried we'll be weird around each other again."

Zara grips my shoulders. "You've been walking and talking inside the healer's tent for the past week with no problem, right? It's not going to be weird or awkward. It's going to be wonderful."

I sigh heavily. "You're right, it's going to be fine."

She squeezes lightly and lets go with a nod. "Not that I'm trying to kick you out, but…get out."

I roll my eyes and laugh. "I'm going."

Not wanting to give it back, but also worried Jodah might need it, I pick up the dhembe fur and step outside. More cold dust has fallen and there's a small accumulation of it on the ground. The scent of the evening meal floats on the breeze, and my stomach rumbles. I walk the length of the village, passing Tavikhi and humans alike. Children run and chase each other on their way to the central fire.

Finally, I reach Jodah's tent. I pause at the entrance, take a deep breath, and smack the flap twice. Several moments pass, but he doesn't come to the door. I debate "knocking" one more time, but instead, I turn and walk away. I haven't taken more than three steps when he comes around the other side of the tent. We both stop abruptly.

"Sage."

"Jodah." We speak at the same time, and I laugh a bit nervously, holding up his belonging. "I was just looking for you. I, um, wanted to return your fur."

He closes the distance between us and wraps his hands around mine with a short nod. "It is yours."

First Benham gave Maeve his luani fur and now Jodah's giving me his dhembe one. This feels like some Tavikhi courting ritual. "Thank you."

He releases me and I already miss his touch. "I am glad you are here. In fact, I had planned to go to your tent to find you and see if you wanted to take the evening meal with me?"

My stomach flips and twirls and that weird light inside me flickers awake. Everything around my heart grows warm. I rub my fingers down my sternum, but it doesn't stop. Am I getting sick or something? Maybe I need to go see Kyler. I glance at Jodah and realize I haven't answered him.

"That's actually why I came to find you. To see if you would like to eat together."

He smiles brightly down at me. "I would like that very much."

Since it's mine now, I guess, I wrap the fur around me again. There's a faint hint of mint and the sweet smokiness of fiku wood ingrained in the hide. It smells exactly like Jodah. Together, we walk toward the central fire.

"I'd been worried you might still be resting when you didn't answer the door." I'm glad I hadn't disturbed him.

He shakes his head. "I woke up shortly after the midday meal and went to the elders' tents to speak with my baba and nene."

I draw up short and gape at his back. "Wait a minute. Your parents are alive? How come you've never mentioned them? I thought they were dead."

Jodah stops and faces me with what I'm taking as a guilty expression and fists his chest. "I apologize for giving you that impression. They do not leave their tent. At least, my baba does not. He is unwell and has difficulty moving. My nene came to see me after I was injured. Just to assure herself that I was going to recover. Perhaps you missed her."

My brain is still processing the fact that Jodah's parents are alive. And considering I never left the healer's tent I wouldn't have missed her. Then again, since I had no idea who she was, she could have been any one of the several elder females who stopped by. They'd all treated him like a son.

I start walking again. "I can't believe I didn't know."

"How could you if I did not tell you? Although," he pauses. "As your mate, I should have spoken of them before now. My nene would like to meet you."

A panicked sensation enters my chest. I've never been with a guy long enough to meet his parents. Now, I'm supposed to meet the woman—female—who is essentially my mother-in-law? A female I didn't even know existed until now. I nod absently. "I'd like to meet her as well."

What else am I supposed to say?

We finally make it to the central fire, where the evening meal is well underway. It always surprises me how many Tavikhi live here. Add in the humans and the number is over eighty.

Jodah and I go to the end of the moving line. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot someone waving. Zara. While not exactly withher, the rest of our friends and their mates sit close by, all of them laughing and talking with each other. They're not necessarily excluding her, but her pleading expression is obvious from here.

"Would you mind if we sat with Zara? I hate the thought of her eating alone."

"Of course," Jodah says. "It will be nice to get to know my mate's tribe sister."

My heart skips a beat at him calling me his mate. It feels like this is the first time he's truly accepted and acknowledged it out loud. We finally get our food and join her on the bench.

"Good to see you upright." She leans slightly forward to see around me and says to him. "Everyone in the village was worried about you."

He dips his head. "I had the best healer."

When his gaze shifts to me and one side of his mouth kicks up, that burning sensation grows in my chest, and I instinctively want to deny his compliment and give all the credit to Kyler. Except the words don't come. Because even though I wasn't the one who'd stitched him up, I took care of him for a whole week. I made sure his wounds were kept clean. I got him to drink the burim-laced water. I was the one who kept him cool when his fever raged like a fire.

"Yeah," Zara interrupts my thoughts. "She's pretty incredible."

She shoulder bumps me with a chuckle.

"You're not so bad yourself." I nudge her leg with mine.

We continue our meal with Zara leading most of the conversation although every once in a while Remi or London joins in. Zydon speaks briefly with Jodah about a hunt they should go on when he's well enough. At last, we finish eating.

"All right, you two." Zara stands. "I'm going to leave you guys alone, so you're not stuck with a third wheel all night. Thanks for having dinner with me."

"You are welcome to eat your evening meal with us any time. Your friendship with Sage is important to her," Jodah says and the flicker brightens in my chest.

To my shock, Zara blushes. "Thanks. I appreciate that."

When she's out of sight, I swivel more in Jodah's direction.

"Thank you. For including her."

"You are most welcome." He dips his head. "I understand what it is like when those around you are mated while you are not. It is a lonely feeling."

I didn't realize how lonely it was until recently. I've never been a particularly religious person, but I say a short prayer to Deeka that Zara finds a mate who cares for her soon.

"If you're not doing anything now, I'd love to see your drawings." Jodah didn't have a chance to do so this morning and I've been curious to see them. Plus, it's an excuse to spend more time together.

He stands and when he holds a hand out to me, I place mine within it. That sharp sting of electricity pops again the minute our skin touches and inside my chest it grows warm. I can't explain it. I really should talk to Kyler. Have him check me over.

I wave to everyone. Jodah doesn't release his gentle hold on me as we leave the central fire and make our way through the village to his tent.

"You said your dad—baba—is unwell. What's wrong, if you don't mind me asking?"

"He was on a hunt many seasons ago up in the hills searching for a herd of dhibani. While up there, a wild windstorm came in and felled a large, rotting tree. It pinned him to the ground. By the time the other hunters were able to get him out from beneath it, it had been too late to save one of his legs. Kyler was forced to remove it, and he has never been the same since," Jodah's voice softens. "I nearly lost both of them, but, like you, my nene worked fiercely and tirelessly to keep him alive."

I squeeze his hand. "I'm so sorry. They both sound like strong people."

"They are. I have only hoped to become even half as good a hunter as my baba had been."

Finally, we reach his tent. He grabs the torch from outside, pushes the flap away from the entrance, and gestures for me to go first. Inside, it smells just like Jodah. That mix of sweet smoke and mint. The fire in the center burns low so there's a slight chill in the air. It's smaller than the one I share with Zara, but it's neat and tidy.

He steps past me and plants the torch in the ground to help illuminate the interior.

"Let me stoke the fire." While he adds a log to it, I draw my gaze to the pallet at the back of the tent. It's stacked with furs which helps ease the guilt that I might have taken one he needs. A narrow table with a basin of water similar to the one found in every tent sits to the left with what appears to be a few personal belongings. Against the right wall are two chests, each one bigger than mine.

Jodah rises from his squatting position and faces me. Another quick scan confirms there's only a single stool for sitting, not that I'm not used to being on the ground.

"Let me get you a fur." Instead of heading to one of the chests, he grabs one straight from his own bed and spreads it out near the fire, but on the right side of the tent. "Please, sit."

I'm not sure if he plans on sharing it with me, but I leave enough room for him just in case. To my delight, Jodah lowers himself directly in front of me. We both sit cross-legged and his knees brush against mine, sending tingles up my leg to land straight in the center of them. I try not to squirm.

He glances quickly in my direction, and I pray he can't read my thoughts.

Thankfully, Jodah leans over and opens one of the trunks, but pauses with hesitant expression. "They are not perfect. Some I did when I was a kit."

I lay my hand on his arm. "You don't have to show me if you're uncomfortable with it. I hope you don't think I'm pushing you to do something you don't really want to do."

If anyone knows about not consenting to something, it's me.

He shakes his head. "No, it is fine. I just did not want you to be disappointed."

"I'm not sure you could do anything to disappoint me."

Jodah's tense muscles relax beneath my hand and I drop my arm as he finally reaches inside.