Chapter 13

Abby

It feels like everyone I pass on my way through the village is staring at me. I know it’s only my imagination, but I can’t help but glance around. No one’s gaze meets mine, except for a mated Tavikhi couple who do nothing more than nod. But it’s like they’re taunting me with the knowledge that according to their customs and religion, I’m now allegedly mated to one of their people as well.

Cripes. Just the thought of Rojtar and his mating marks is enough to make my palms sweat and for so many reasons. Not the least of which is what he’ll do if he ever finds out my secret. But also because despite what he’s shown me of his character, it’s hard to unlearn a lifetime of lessons in seeing what people are truly like.

I make it to the tanning tent just as another warrior steps out. It’s the same one Rojtar had been standing in line and laughing with at last night’s evening meal when he and I ate together at the river. He glances at the load in my hand.

“A successful hunt, I see. Can I take them for you?”

There’s only a slight hesitation before I pass the rabbits—leburin—over. Our fingers brush, but unlike the few times Rojtar and I touched out in the forest, nothing happens. No spark of electricity stings my skin. No tingle rushes up my arm. No warmth gathers in my belly. I glance up at the warrior and something like disappointment flashes in his eyes, which makes me believe he felt nothing either. There’d been no mistaking Rojtar’s reaction to my touch. He most definitely experienced possibly the same things I did.

A small, but sad smile curls his lips. “I thought perhaps it might have been too much to hope.”

Before I can say anything, the Tavikhi disappears back inside the tent with the leburin and leaves me standing there. With nothing else left to do, I head for my own dwelling. I pass more people who must be heading to the central fire for the evening meal. I’m still not quite used to everyone gathering together for food and conversation. It’s certainly not like that back at the human settlement.

I swing aside the flap and step into the dim interior. Carter stands at the water basin washing his hands. He glances over at me and grins, but it swiftly turns upside down.

“Whose shirt are you wearing? And why are there leaves stuck in your hair?”

Knowing I’m going to have to tell him the whole story, I cross over to my side of the tent and prop my spear against the hide wall.

“It’s Lewis’ fault.” I reach up and try to pluck out all the foliage. “He…attacked me while I was out hunting.”

Carter throws down the cloth onto the table and rushes over to me, panic in his eyes. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

I clutch his trembling forearms gently. “I’m fine. Really. Rojtar showed up and protected me.”

My brother’s shoulders relax and sag with relief. It reminds me he’s still just a child. “Did he kill Lewis?”

“No.” Because you stopped him . “But I don’t think I’ll have to worry about him again.”

“Good. I hope he got what he deserved though,” Carter sneers.

The image of Lewis’ battered face springs forth. “He did. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d really prefer to put on my own clothes. Can you give me a minute and then we’ll go get something to eat?”

He nods. I grab a clean shirt, a cloth for washing, and move behind the hung blanket. As I take Lewis’ shirt off, it brushes against the back of my neck and a small hiss of pain escapes. Without a mirror, I can’t see what my skin looks like, but I suspect I’m going to have a massive bruise if one hasn’t formed already. I quickly wet the cloth and wash myself, scrubbing a little harder than necessary as though to rid myself of that asshole’s touch.

The memory of Lewis on top of me returns and my breath catches on a sob. I slam my hand over my mouth to stifle the sound so Carter can’t hear. I thought I could handle him. If not for Rojtar, I don’t want to think about what would have happened.

God, what am I going to do about his mating marks?

I don’t have the mental energy to think about it right now, so I throw on my top and step out from behind the barrier, making sure to keep a neutral expression on my face. Or at least do my best to. Carter stares at me like he knows I’m merely putting on a facade. Ignoring the questions in his eyes, I stride past him.

“C’mon, let’s go eat.”

He follows me out and toward the central fire. With each step I take that brings me closer to where everyone gathers, my pace slows. What’s Carter going to say when he sees Rojtar? This is such a mess. As I glance at people, this time there’s no imagining they stare at me.

Great.

We reach the main gathering place and before I can skate through unnoticed, London and Maeve approach. Apparently they won’t be leaving me in peace. I guess I’m not surprised. I should have prepared Carter for this new development, but it’s too late to do anything about it now.

“I hear congratulations are in order,” London says with a giant grin the second she reaches us.

“It depends on who you ask, I guess.”

Her smile doesn’t even falter. In fact, she chuckles. “You aren’t the first of us to not have any interest or desire for the mate bond. I actually would have been shocked if you were all in from the get go.”

All in? I’m not even a fraction of the way in.

“What are they talking about?” Carter pipes up.

London and Maeve exchange a guilty glance.

“Sorry,” the former says.

I manage a shrug. It wasn’t going to stay a secret much longer anyway. Facing Carter, I come clean. “Rojtar thinks I’m his mate after his mating marks appeared earlier today when I touched his arm.”

Just because he believes it doesn’t make it true.

My brother gapes. “His mate ?”

“ Thinks ?” London echoes and I narrow my gaze at her.

“Yes, thinks.” I’m almost daring her to contradict me.

“If you say so,” the shefira says. “Either way, congratulations. Rojtar is a really great guy. Any woman would be lucky to be his mate.”

Then they can have him . I wince at the crappy thought considering I’ve come to realize she may be completely right about him being one of the good ones. I won’t take it back though. “I’m sure they would and I wish him nothing but happiness with one of them.”

The pitying smile they both send my way gets my back up.

“We’ll leave you to eat, then. Feel free to join us if you’d like,” London offers.

“Thanks.” Although I won’t be taking her up on it.

She and Maeve walk away and I turn to Carter, who is still staring at me.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier that you and Rojtar are mates?” he asks.

“Because it’s like I told him, I’m not interested in what his goddess has apparently decided.”

Carter studies me a bit longer. “You should give him a chance. I’m growing up and I don’t want you to be lonely.”

I’ve been lonely for a long, long time. “I’m perfectly content with my life just the way it is. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

But will you really? Ignoring the voice, I join the people in line for food. Carter slips in behind me. For once, his endless chatter doesn’t fill my ears. Which leaves me to listen to all the conversations going on around me. Rojtar’s name comes up several times. Each one is immediately followed by the sense people are staring at my back.

I haven’t been in the village that long—just over a week—but I’ve already come to learn that gossip spreads like wildfire here. It’s obvious word has made its rounds that I’m made Rojtar’s mating marks appear. Even if London and Maeve hadn’t congratulated me, I’d have been able to tell that everyone already knew from all the staring.

The Tavikhi serving food grin as I pass through. Yeah, they all know.

“Oh, there’s Talek,” Carter announces.

Already suspecting what he’s going to ask, I nudge him. “Go on.”

He hesitates. “Are you sure?”

“Spend time with your friends. I’ll be fine.”

“Thanks, Abby. You’re the best.” Carter rushes off with his bowl of stew to join Talek and the rest of the kids.

I don’t even bother glancing around to locate London and the rest of her friends. I already know where I’m going. Like last night, my feet take me toward the river. Sure enough, a lone figure sits on the bank overlooking the water. Although, instead of being seated on one of the large stumps, Rojtar has a large fur spread out on the ground beneath him. One plenty big enough for two people.

He glances over his shoulder at my approach and the smile that lights up his face almost has me stumbling. Mostly because of the answering warmth that fills me.

“Greetings, Abby,” Rojtar says. “I wasn’t sure if you would come back here to eat or not, but I had hoped. You’re welcome to sit and join me if you’d like.”

Even though I know I shouldn’t, I close the distance between us and settle onto the fur beside him. Not close enough to touch, but still close enough I can feel the heat radiating off his body. A part of me wants to be angry at his presumption of my arrival, but another part of me is flattered that he wanted me to join him.

I can’t help but glance at the mating marks that almost look to darken the longer I stare at them. I lift my gaze to meet his.

“Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

“Not at all.” Rojtar shakes his head. “You are welcome to ask me anything you wish, whenever you wish it.”

I bite the inside of my bottom lip before blurting it out. “How old are you, anyway?”

“I have seen almost twenty-five warm seasons.”

Based on what I know about the passing of time on this planet, that puts him at around twenty-four years of age. Five years younger than me then.

“And what about you?”

“A little older than that. I’m twenty-nine.” If I had to guess, I’d say my thirtieth birthday would be here in another couple months.

“And Carter?” Rojtar asks.

“Twelve.”

He cocks his head. “Is it often there is so much age difference between siblings on your planet? Do your mated pairs have difficulty bearing kits?”

“Some do, but not really. Carter was an…accident.” I hate using that word. It sounds like he wasn’t actually wanted when nothing could be farther from the truth.

Rojtar doesn’t question me, but I can’t tell from the cant of his head he doesn’t quite understand. I’d rather not explain it to him if I don’t have to. My brother doesn’t know and I’d like to keep it that way. Which means a change of subject.

“If I didn’t already say it, thank you. For what you did today with Lewis.”

A flash of rage on his face quickly disappears. “You do not need to thank me. It is my fault you were alone in the first place. I should have gone out with youinstead of with Evren and Katem.”

Rojtar’s made it clear he’s to blame, and nothing I say will make him say differently. I still appreciate what he did.

“Did you have a good hunt?”

“We located a small herd of dhibani up in the hills and managed to bring down over ten of them rather quickly,” he reports. “I brought back four and then went in search of you since the others continued farther into the hills to find more.”

“Are those the black goat things that can perch themselves on the sides of the mountains?” I’ve seen them from a distance.

“I believe so.” Rojtar glances down at his bowl. “It is also the meat in the stew.”

I pause and swallow the too large chunk that stretches my throat uncomfortably for a moment. I’ve avoided asking about any of the food I eat although it’s all tasted good. It’s not as if I’m a vegetarian or anything—those of us from the bottom tier can’t be choosy—but sometimes there’s guilt about eating cute animals like rabbits.

“It’s good.”

Rojtar’s lips twitch in amusement. “It is one of my favorites.”

We settle into a comfortable silence while we finish our meal, although I’m acutely aware of every shift of weight and movement he makes. It is incredibly peaceful out here listening to the water rush by and all the different sounds that surround us, between the village at our backs and the forest on the other side of the river. I take in a deep inhalation and breathe in the clean air that holds hints of food, the trees, flowers, and the warrior sitting next to me.

I can’t say what prompts me, but before I can stop them, words spill from my lips. “Would you like to go for a walk?”

Rojtar turns his head in my direction. I try not to squirm or call back the question and I hate that I can’t tell what he’s thinking.

“I would like that very much,” he finally answers. “Let me drop this fur off at my tent first, if that is all right with you?”

“Of course.”

We both stand and I reach out for his bowl. He passes it to me and our skin brushes together. That familiar spark and tingle make me jerk away slightly, but not enough to break contact. I lift my gaze and tilt my head back to meet Rojtar’s. There’s a flash of bright light in his feline eyes that warms me, but he blinks and it disappears. I clear my throat and hastily draw away with his bowl in hand.

“I’ll just take these to the central fire for washing and meet you there?”

He dips his head and picks up the fur off the ground. “I will see you soon.”

“Great. Okay, good. I’ll see you then.” With cheeks burning, I spin and dash away.