Chapter 5

Zara

The pain is making me delusional and I don’t want everyone to know I’m losing my mind so I’m not going to ask if Kyler has mating marks. He sure didn’t have them on whatever day these Njeri assholes took me from the village. They can’t be because of me. There’s no way the Deeka goddess chick is going to pair up a dude like the healer who has his shit together with the hot mess express that is Zara Black.

Weren’t you the one who told Sage not so long ago the goddess doesn’t make mistakes?

Shut up. No one asked you .

See? A delusional hot mess express who both talks to and answers herself.

“As much as this is going to suck, Kala’s right. It’s a long way back to the village, and god only knows if there are more Njeri heading this way,” Remi says. “We don’t want to get caught out here with no reinforcements if we need it.”

Man, this really is going to suck. My entire body is killing me and I have zero energy. I’ve already caused everyone so many problems by getting snatched in the first place. I shift to try and push myself upright, but a lightning bolt hits and I grab Remi’s arm. “Wait, are the girls okay? The guys?”

“They’re fine. Worried about you, of course.” She smiles, but it dims. “We did lose some people though—Tavikhi and human—and there’s several more who still may not make it.”

Damn it. More anger bubbles up and I half turn onto my good side to get my elbow underneath for leverage to sit up. An arm cradles my shoulder and back and I dart a quick glance sideways. My eyes meet yellow ones with a feline-like vertical pupil a purple so deep and dark to appear black. A jolt, almost like a shot of electricity zings through me, and my skin tingles as if it’s hovering over live wire. This is as up close and personal as I’ve ever been to one of the Tavikhi warriors, and it just so happens to be the guy I’m hallucinating has mating marks.

“Careful.” His warm, husky voice sends heat straight to my lady parts and my cheeks turn to fire.

I dip my head in barely a nod, cradle my arm against my chest, and let Kyler help me to my feet. It’s slow going, and the pain is so excruciating I have to grit my teeth, but I finally make it. Except the minute I’m fully upright, dizziness hits. I sway and frantically blink to try and keep myself from passing out. The scent of eucalyptus—which should smell medicinal but doesn’t—along with a hint of some kind of sweet fragrance filters into my consciousness as I breathe it in deeply. It actually somehow helps to center my awareness and I send a grateful smile to the male keeping me from falling over. At the same time I try to put some space between us because being this close to the healer is doing things to my body.

“Thanks. I think I’m okay now.” God, how embarrassing.

What might be disappointment flashes across Kyler’s face, but it quickly disappears. “If you would rather someone else assist you, I understand.”

I jerk slightly and wince as pain shoots through my arm. Nausea clenches my belly as well. “No, it’s fine. I just needed a second.”

“If you are certain.”

Why is he the one who doesn’t sound certain? “I appreciate your help.”

Kyler reaches into his satchel. “Then may I bind your arm to you? It will provide support.”

He brings out a length of leather and with a gentle touch, creates a sling I can rest my arm in. I try desperately to ignore his closeness and the way his breath caresses my ear as he ties it behind my neck. A shiver I can’t stop runs down my spine, and the hairs on my forearms stand on end. Kyler’s gaze drops to my mouth, and I realize I’m biting my bottom lip. I release it and take a step back. His eyes shutter and a pinch of guilt hits me.

Acutely aware of everyone staring at us, I take tentative steps toward the forest in the direction I think the village lies. Each one sends a small jolt of pain through my throbbing arm. I drank almost an entire cup of nasty ass water. How much more could I be hurting if I hadn’t? I have a feeling I’ll find out before we get back to the village.

Kyler has released his hold on me, but he remains so close while we walk we’re practically touching. So much heat radiates off him, my side is almost sweating. I take a closer look at our small party. I’m shocked to find three Krijese speaking quietly amongst themselves. My guess is Sage had something to do with their presence. I might have to actually hug her as a thank you.

Who I’m not shocked to see is Zydon. Not with Remi here. I knew she’d come. I’m closest to Maeve, but Remi and I have the most in common, being from the upper tier, and shitty, rich parents who didn’t give a fuck about us. She’s the one who helped me see I’m not completely useless despite my upbringing. Although considering my only skill—and it’s barely even one at that—is making tolerable arrowheads, I’m not really sure I’m that useful either.

I’m thankful for the other Tavikhi who joined the group. Not just because they rescued me, but because it means they’re still alive. My heart aches that some of the villagers were killed. While I tend to stick close to my friends or hang out in the forge, every Tavikhi I’ve encountered has treated me with respect, as if I’m one of them. It’s been nice to be part of something like a large, extended family.

I glance at Kyler again and scan his torso and arms. Yep, they’re still there. I really need to get Remi alone for a second and talk to her. I’m so distracted by his mating marks, I miss whatever it is I trip over. Bracing myself for a world of hurt, I wait for the agony. Except it never comes.

A heavy weight lies around my waist and brings me upright until I’m steady on my feet. I glance down to find Kyler’s tail wrapped around me. My gaze jerks up to meet his. He’s so close. The marks on his skin darken a shade, which I’ve only ever seen happen on a newly mated male. Unbidden, I reach out and touch the swirling line running along his bicep. He sucks in a breath and his muscles twitch. He yanks his tail away from me and to my shock, I miss it.

I snatch my hand back and shuffle as quickly forward as my weakened body will let me. “Sorry.”

“It is I who should apologize. I only meant to keep you from falling. It was not my intention to touch you without your consent,” Kyler says stiffly already having caught up with me.

Okay. Something’s not right here. I may not know the healer well, but I’ve been around him enough times in the nearly five months we’ve been on this planet to know he’s a good guy. Confident. Kind. Friendly. He’s never acted like this. At least not that I’ve ever seen. I dart a quick glance around. No one appears to be paying us any attention. They’re all focused on the forest around us. No doubt checking for danger. So, here goes nothing.

“Have I done something to offend you?”

Kyler’s head snaps in my direction and his eyes widen. “Not at all kee —Zara.”

Holy shit on a stick. Had he just been about to call me keeshla ? That’s the word all the Tavikhi warriors use to refer to their fated mate. My mouth drops open. “Jesus H. You do have mating marks.”

Fuck me. Is this who Amelia meant when she said ‘he’s coming’?

The healer’s brow bones shift downward in the inner corners and he glances at his arms. “Can you not see them well?”

I step over a large root spread across the ground. Admitting to Kyler I thought I was hallucinating them makes me sound like an idiot. “Yeah, I see them fine,” I mumble.

He opens his mouth, but snaps it shut. A weird and uncomfortable silence lingers. I let it remain as I keep walking, but the fatigue and weariness I’ve been trying to push away is growing stronger. We’ve barely gone anywhere, but I’m not sure how much farther I’m going to be able to go. As though sensing I’m at my limit, Kyler slows and then stops.

“We need to rest,” he announces.

Kala glances behind us. “We have barely even traveled the length of your village. We must keep moving.”

Kyler’s expression hardens. “I said we are resting.”

I lay my hand on his arm and a shock stings my finger. “It’s okay. I can keep going.”

He shakes his head. “No, you cannot. It is my job as the healer and as…your mate to take care of you. It is obvious you are struggling, and I will not have you injured more than you already are. We will make camp here until you have recovered your energy.”

A funny little zing goes through my chest at hearing him call me his mate. Everyone murmurs to themselves, but to my surprise, no one argues again. Instead, they all move about the area and form a watchful perimeter around Kyler and me.

“Come, sit.” He takes my arm and guides me to a large tree stump nearby. I try to ignore the tingling sensation rippling through my veins.Once seated, he removes something from the small satchel around his hips. “Eat. Slowly, though.”

I take some dried meat from his hand and don’t question what it is—at this point, I’ll eat just about anything. Taking small bites, because I’m smart enough to know I might make myself sick otherwise, I nibble away at the piece of jerky. It’s a little gamey, but the smoky flavor mostly covers it up. Once I’ve eaten more than half of it, Kyler passes me a vessel of water. A smidgen of guilt looms.

“Sorry. I drank almost all of it.” I pass the nearly empty container back.

“Do not concern yourself.” He waves away my apology. “We have more than enough.”

I’ll take his word for it. My stomach feels full, but it’s still no doubt bruised and aches a bit. The pain in my arm is returning already as well. I’m such a pussy. “Do you have any more pain reliever?”

Kyler goes on high alert. “What hurts?”

Everything. But that’s not really what he’s asking. “My arm’s aching again. Just something to take the edge off.”

He reaches into his satchel and brings out a small leather pouch. I watch as he pours a small amount of a powder into the water and hands it over. Trying not to gag on the bitter taste, I take a few small drinks before I stop myself. My gut is water-logged. “Thanks.”

While we continue resting, I finish off the remainder of the jerky. I’m nowhere near one hundred percent—hell, I doubt I’m at fifty—but I know how important it is we keep going. I’ve sensed the unease and impatience of the warriors. Even Remi’s paced restlessly. I glance at Kyler. There’s no way I want him to think I’m useless. Other than the single time he called me his mate, he hasn’t brought it up again. He probably regrets getting saddled with me for the remainder of his life.

I mean, what do I have to bring to the relationship? I can’t cook. I can’t sew. Christ, I can barely fold a fur. What kind of mate am I going to be? A terrible kind, that’s what. I should be trying to impress Kyler. Except I have zero skills. Which means, the least I can do is not be a baby.

“Thank you for letting me rest. I’m feeling better, so we should probably get going.” I carefully stand and hope I don’t get dizzy and fall over. When nothing happens, I breathe out a sigh of relief.

He studies me, and I do my best not to squirm under his penetrating gaze. I can tell he wants to argue but I rush to stop him. “Really, I’m okay. Or at least I will be. You know as well as I do we’re not going to be safe until we get back to the village.” Maybe not even then.

Finally, Kyler dips his head in agreement. “You will tell me when the pain and fatigue become too great. We will rest.”

I nod. With slow steps I take off again and he moves right next to me for the second time, although there is barely enough room on the non-existent path for me to travel. Remi and Zydon, along with Katem, quicken their pace and take point, scouting the terrain in front of us. Evren, Rassim, and the three Krijese fall behind to watch our backs.

The forest is silent aside from the sound of mellenje and the scurrying of small creatures as they rush to get away from us. Sage hasn’t talked a lot about Kyler, but from everything she has said, I never pictured him to be this quiet. Is it because of me? Granted, I always have something to say. Yet, I’m struggling to find any words. Is this how it’s going to be between us? This awkward, uncomfortable silence that feels oppressive?

Fuck. Is this another Sage and Jodah situation? Does Kyler not feel the bond despite his mating marks? Is that why he isn’t acting all love-sick and spouting on about how much Deeka has blessed him?

Son of a bitch.