6. Orion

Chapter 6

Orion

W aking up with Calista in my arms is a dream. One that I want to have every night, for eternity.

We wore ourselves out, finally collapsing into my bed late at night. I'm sure she has to be awake soon to get her daughter, but I selfishly hope she can stay for just a little while longer.

I want Calista. I want whatever she can give me. Even if we just have tonight, then this was perfect. But selfishly, I do kind of hope for more.

When she finally does wake, I shut my eyes quickly, hoping that she didn't catch me staring. She gives a little laugh, and I know I've been caught.

"Were you watching me sleep?"

I crack an eye open. "No."

"Were you staring at me?"

"Yes," I say, smiling. "You look cute when you're asleep."

Calista rolls her eyes. "Your flattery is obvious, but not horrible."

I laugh, pulling her closer. I press a kiss to her forehead. For a moment, we just hold each other, and I watch the sun light up dust motes as they lazily glimmer in the sunlight.

Then, I pull back. I'm willing to accept whatever Calista has to offer. I just want her in my life, whatever that means. But I do need to know something.

"Calista?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

She stiffens. "Why?"

"I just want to know the truth. Whatever it is, it doesn't change anything. It doesn't change how I feel about you now, or what we have here," I murmur. "But I do want to know."

"What is it, Orion?" she asks. I hate the nerves in her voice.

I sigh and ask. "Why did you leave?"

Calista tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. She shuts her eyes and takes a deep, deep breath. "I heard you tell your mom that you would never be my mate."

The words seem to tumble out of her all at once. I shift, pushing my head up with my hand so I can see her.

"What?"

"I came back from shopping early, and you were talking to your mom. She was telling you something, and I heard you say that you would never mate with me…"

"I never said that," I say, interrupting her.

Her eyes pop open. "What?"

"I never said that, Calista. I don't know what conversation you're talking about, but I know I never would have said that."

She bristles. "I know what I heard."

Gently, I move my hand, touching the lock of hair behind her ears that she keeps nervously touching. "I would never have told her that, because I told her that I was going to ask you to be my mate."

Calista blinks rapidly, clearly stunned. "What?"

Slowly, the pieces click into place. "I told her that I was going to ask you to be my mate. She got mad and said that she had someone else she would rather I ask. I told her no, that I would never mate her…"

"And that's when I walked up and heard only part of the conversation," Calista finishes in a horrified whisper.

I nod. "I'm so sorry, Calista. I wish you had just asked me."

Her face flushes, and she looks away. "I'm… shoot. Orion, I'm the one who's sorry. It never even occurred to me to ask you. I heard that, and I just… left."

I let out a breath. If she had just asked me that day, we could have avoided years of heartache. I can't help but feel a flicker of frustration. We lost so much time, all because of a misunderstanding.

But dwelling on the past won't change it. The important thing is that we're here now, together. And this time, I won't let anything tear us apart. There's no point in worrying about what we should or could have done. The past is the past. With another deep breath, I let it go.

"It didn't work out for us then, Calista. We did what we did. But we don't have to let that define what happens for us now."

Her eyes widen. "What?"

I run one of my hands down her arm, lifting her hand to my lips. "I'm saying," I start, pressing a kiss against her palm, "that I want to figure out what we should do moving forward. Not what we should have done five years ago."

"Orion…"

"You don't have to answer now. But Calista, I've lived without you. It sucked. I'd rather not do it again. So maybe we could talk more about what it looks like for us to make different choices. In the future, this time." I smile.

Calista opens her mouth. Shuts it. She looks to the side, then back at me.

"I'd like that," she whispers.

I growl, pulling her close while she lets out a little giggle. My lips find the bare skin of her neck, and before long, we're beyond words.

Finally, Calista has to leave. I give her a long, lingering kiss in the doorway. She smiles. "Dinner tomorrow?"

"I'd love to."

"I want to tell you about my daughter," she says softly. "That… it's important."

My heart swells. "Sounds like a plan."

"Good. Okay. Bye," she murmurs.

I duck down and give her another kiss before she turns and walks to Amara's truck. I watch her go, waiting for the dust to settle from her departure before I sigh.

If we're moving forward together, there's something I have to do.

It's time to deal with my mother.

When I pull up to my mom's house, I can already tell that this isn't going to be easy. Usually, she has the curtains open, and the lights on, even in the daytime.

Now, however, the curtains are closed. The porch light is off. When I get out, I can tell that she's absolutely blasting the saddest music she has.

Great.

The door, as always, is open. "Mother?" I call out, looking for her.

There's no response, but I can tell the music is coming from the living room.

I walk inside. My mom is sitting on the couch in her bathrobe. Her hair is up in curlers, and she's holding a cup of tea that looks like it hasn't been sipped once. It's also clearly not hot, as there's no steam coming off of it.

I sigh.

"Mom," I say gently, turning down the stereo. "This is a little much."

"I don't think anything is a little much when my only son decides to abandon me," she says in a dull voice.

I shut my eyes and take a steadying breath. "I didn't abandon you. You burst into my house, and you were rude to my guest?—"

"Guest!" she shrieks. The tea goes flying, and I find out that it is, indeed, cold. "She can't be a guest! She broke your heart!"

"That was a long time ago. She overheard us talking and thought I was agreeing with you, and she was hurt and left."

My mother's eyes widen. "Well, she should have talked to you about it before she just up and left!"

"She should have," I say slowly. "She apologized for that. Like I said, it was a long time ago."

"I don't believe that for a second. If she did it once, she would do it again. What would keep her from just walking out on you the next time she's mad?" my mother asks, her eyes burning.

Ah. This is not about Calista, then.

"I'm going to ask her to be my mate," I say. "Calista isn't going to walk out on me again." It's better to just rip this band aid off.

The moment I say the m-word, my mom's eyes go narrow and mean. "She can't be your mate!" she hisses.

"You don't get to decide that. I'm the one who chooses a mate."

"I have given you a perfectly suitable list of females to mate. Any one of them is nice, pretty, and I approve of."

"My mate isn't something you need to approve."

"Like hell it isn't!" she barks.

I take a deep, deep breath. This has got to stop.

What I'm about to do is going to hurt, but it's time.

"Mom," I say slowly, looking her in the eyes. "I love you. I want to have you in my life. But this is not acceptable. I am a grown man. You do not choose who I mate. You do not choose who I interact with, in general. If you continue to try to meddle in my personal life, and if you continue to act like this, then I will not talk to you. I will not interact with you. Unless you choose to stay out of my personal life, I will cut you out of it."

The silence between us feels like a chasm.

My mother's face is a study of emotions. I see each one flicker across her features. Shock. Pain. Suspicion. Anger.

Rage.

"You are the most ungrateful son," she spits. "I raised you. I did everything for you. I?—"

"And that's why I love you. But I will not put up with you inserting yourself into my personal life any longer. The choice is yours."

"How is that a choice? You're cutting me off!"

"Only if you keep acting like I owe you my personal life."

"You'd leave me! Just like he did!"

Her voice shakes, and I see tears gather at the corners of her eyes.

It hurts. It really does. I hate to see my mom like this. But I hate her meddling even more.

"I am not leaving you like Dad did, Mom. He left me, too," I say quietly. "I am telling you that this is my life. I want you to be a part of it. But I don't want you to be all of it. I love you, and I hope we can figure this out."

I don't give her a chance to add anything else. I leave, letting the door slam behind me.

Despite the fact that everything in me wants to go back and tell her it's going to be okay, I don't.

I have to choose Calista. I have to choose myself.

I love my mother deeply. But I meant what I said.

My personal life is mine. And it's time I took control of it.