26. Ohara

It wasn't every day you found your fated mate… but why did that day have to be less than a week before I would never see her again?

Lily had taken the news as well as could be expected. I hated the look on her face — the one I had etched there.

She'd tried her best to ignore the tumultuous emotions rolling through her mind like a maelstrom and she did a sterling job, but there was no way to dispel them completely.

Her concern was etched around her eyes and stole her time with me when we were together.

For ten years, I had dreamed of the day I would walk free, had fashioned the scenario in my mind, of dusting the dirt and crud from this place off my shoes and never looking back again.

And then she came into my life. She made the past ten years worth it.

But now I was going to lose her, lose my fated mate, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

Or was there?

Ever since I met her, a solution bubbled to the forefront of my mind, something that I put on the back burner to ignore until I came up with a better idea.

But none presented itself.

Now, with the days trickling away and with no other solution to hand, I decided to take action.

My release was dependent on good behavior. If I were to commit another crime, such as violence against a guard, they would give me more time.

The harm I did would need to be proportional. If I attacked with cause, the Supervisor would be more understanding and wouldn't send me to the depths of the prison where I wouldn't be able to see Lily or compete in the pits.

It needed to be serious but not too serious.

I scooped the rusty nail off my cell's desk and tucked it in my pocket. I would find a guard, create some kind of disturbance, and then attack him with the nail.

It made me sick to my stomach to think I would willfully harm someone I had no beef with. I thought about attacking Druin instead but no one had seen him recently and such actions might get me barred from the pits… and that was not an option.

I slammed the door to my cell shut as I marched down the hall. A guard, I thought. I needed a guard.

Normally, you couldn't move for them, and now, I couldn't seem to find one anywhere!

I stalked the hallways, ignoring the stern looks from the other prisoners. I took one corner after another until I came to a pair of guards standing outside a cell that was currently being tossed. They stood to attention, shock rifles clutched tight in well-trained hands.

I reached into my pocket and felt the nail there. I didn't need to do a lot of harm, just draw some blood. Then they would hit me with their shock rifles and the pain…

I grimaced at the thought of it. But it was nothing compared to the thought of losing Lily. A few minutes of intense physical pain in exchange for years of bliss with her. It seemed like a good trade to me.

I withdrew the nail and held it in my sweaty fist. I stalked toward them, my intent clearly painted on my face if they were to just look.

Ten yards became nine, became eight, became seven. I drew closer, and still they hadn't turned toward me.

Six became five.

They stared directly ahead, likely unused to an attack of this kind. After all, which inmate would be stupid enough to attack out in the open like this?

Five became four.

My muscles stiffened and I drew my arm back. A swipe across the face. That was all I required.

An instant of insanity would seal the next few months or even years — if I was lucky — of extra penance. I drew down my brow like a hood, rounded my shoulders, and stalked toward them.

"Don't do it," a deep voice over my shoulder said.

I missed my step and the movement caught the guards' attention. Their eyes locked on mine but now my anger had dissolved into confusion. They were wary and they shifted their weight and their rifles tilted in my direction.

I turned to identify the speaker, who had likely ruined my plan.

Cayggod stepped from a shadowed recess of a cell door and joined me at my shoulder. "I don't think you've fully thought this through," he said.

"I've thought it through plenty!" I snapped, attempting to shoulder past him.

He blocked me. "What kind of life at Ikmal do you think you're going to have after you attack a guard?"

"One with Lily," I said, but now the guards had finished tossing the room and turned to leave.

"One not worth living," Cayggod said. "The guards protect their own. Do you honestly think they're going to let you live in peace with Lily if you attack them?"

I hesitated. I figured the guards wouldn't be happy about it but that they wouldn't be vindictive… and yet, that was exactly what they would be. There would be no peace for me, no peace for Lily.

My anger turned toward Cayggod. "Why do you care?" I growled. "What difference does it make to you?"

"None," Cayggod said with a shrug. "And with any other inmate, I wouldn't even bother trying to reason with them. Maybe I'm a fool for thinking I can reason with you too but I've seen you overcome difficulties with intelligence, patience, and humility. There's no reason you can't do the same with this issue."

I got up in his face. "This issue? This issue? I stand to lose my fated mate and you brand it an issue? A fated mate comes along once in a lifetime — if you're lucky! — and I'm supposed to think of it as an issue?"

"Yes," Cayggod said, unaffected by my rant. "You're not thinking clearly. You're not seeing all the angles. Attacking a guard might buy you some time, but it's not going to buy you forever. And what happens when someone figures out how to beat you in the pit?"

"That won't happen," I snarled.

"Then what happens when you get injured?"

"That won't happen either!"

"Then what happens when you serve your extra time? Are you going to attack another guard?"

I opened my mouth to argue but no words came out. The truth was, I hadn't thought that far ahead.

"I'll… cross that wormhole when I come to it," I said.

But he'd already robbed me of my insanity. What I'd intended to do was not a long-term solution and it never was going to be. I needed another idea, I needed another way to solve this but time had already run out.

Cayggod waited patiently for me to come to the same conclusion. And now that I was thinking clearly, I knew what to say:

"What do you suggest instead?"

A smile curved his broad lips. "Finally, you ask the correct question."