13. Emma

Icouldn't believe he hadn't told me.

I knew there was a connection between him and his Shadow but I never thought it was that I was also his fated mate!

And why wouldn't he tell me?

All it would have taken was a little word about his true intentions.

Was honesty such a big thing to ask?

I stomped into my room and took a seat.

Unable to get comfortable, I stood up and marched to the desk on the other side of the room.

It was plain and without so much as a sketchpad for me to distract myself with.

I marched back across the room to the bed.

I curled my hands into fists and stamped my foot.

My growl was loud and made my throat feel scratchy.

I was surprised by my own sense of shock.

Why did it matter so much that he'd lied to me?

I didn't know him.

He was an alien!

I should understand him less than regular human beings.

But still, it hurt.

The reason he'd protected me wasn't because it was a part of the M'rora culture, that it was somehow his sworn duty.

He did it because he wanted the same thing Iav did.

He wanted to fuck me.

He needed to fuck me.

He was no better than Iav.

I began to question everything he'd had done for me, everything that had seemed honest and true at the time.

Had he really brought me to this minefield to keep me safe?

Or was it a way to get close to me and get what he wanted?

Was the minefield a trick to keep me to himself?

Maybe he was the bad guy and Iav was the good guy!

The thought alone sent a chill down my spine.

What did he say about the Shadow preferring for their mates to give themselves to them freely?

That it somehow gave them more power?

Was that what Vai was doing?

My stomach lurched and I could hardly keep myself from being sick.

I knew something about Vai's story didn't add up.

There was always something about it that didn't quite ring true.

Now I understood why.

He did it for his own purposes.

He was only helping me to get what he wanted.

What was between my legs.

The cold hard truth of disappointment swept over me like a wave and I fell onto the bed and put my head in my hands.

Vai had seemed so calm, so kind…

But it was all an illusion.

Him and his Shadow had more in common than he realized.

And that thought hurt more than I could express.

I'd made the mistake of allowing myself to get close to him.

I had started to like him, to feel as if we were developing a genuine connection.

And for that reason, Vai was worse than Iav.

It was only Iav's poison that had created my physical response to his advances.

It had never been anything deeper.

Vai was different.

I had begun to like him.

Really like him.

What was I going to do now?

I was trapped out here in the middle of a minefield.

Surrounded by enemies.

Would he take advantage of me the way Iav had tried to?

Would he force himself on me?

Poison my water so I couldn't control myself?

Even through the red mist of anger floating before my eyes, I knew that wasn't right.

He could have done something like that already.

He didn't have to bring me to a minefield to do it.

So what was I supposed to do now?

Sit in my room and feel sorry for myself?

Let him do what he wanted with me?

No, I decided. I would strike out on my own.

This was a large ship.

It must have smaller ships I could use, like emergency shuttlecraft.

I could jump in one of those and get it to take me home.

I could outrun the Shadow for a while, maybe long enough for him not to catch me.

And if I failed?

Then I could wind up his concubine for the rest of my life, and forced to breed as many of their children as they wanted…

Just the thought alone made me feel itchy.

Or I could play along with Vai and then, when he wasn't looking, knock him out.

I could hijack this ship and get home even faster.

Or maybe get Computer to tell me about other options that Vai wouldn't.

But Vai was big and fast and strong…

Could I hit him hard enough to knock him out?

Was there another way I could disable him?

Maybe lock him away somewhere?

Did they have jail cells in this place?

Could I get him trapped in one?

And would Computer even listen to me if I did take over?

Probably not.

The M'rora were an advanced spacefaring species.

They must have systems in place to stop that kind of thing from happening.

I paced, shaking my head and muttering to myself as I cobbled together a series of plans.

Each grew more far-fetched than the last as I considered my options.

Finally, with my feet aching and my arms sore from hurling them around like a crazy person, I fell back on my bed and collapsed.

I refused to be a victim.

I would think of something.

I had to think of something.

I felt a throb in my chest and placed a hand over it.

Great, I thought. Now was the perfect time to have a heart attack.

Why not?

Every other bad thing had happened to me today.

The throb thumped hard against the inside of my chest.

I sat up.

It wasn't my heart making that sensation.

It was something else.

The steady thump of the glow I associated with the bond that linked me with Iav… and now Vai.

I could feel Vai somewhere in the ship, his steady throb close and strong.

I could reach for it and probe at it with spiritual hands.

I wondered if he would feel me touching him.

Maybe.

I surprised myself that I actually did want to do that.

But it wasn't his connection that had grabbed my attention.

It was Iav's.

My eyes bulged in surprise and I bolted up onto my feet.

I ran to the window and peered out at the vast darkness of space.

I raised a finger to the glass the way Vai had gotten me to do earlier.

Right there, I thought, pointing at a seemingly indiscriminate patch of space, that's where Iav is.

His signal, his pulse, his bond, whatever you wanted to call it, was growing stronger.

And he was heading right for us.

Unused to calculating time and distance, I wasn't sure exactly how fast he was approaching or how close he was getting to us.

All I knew was he was coming.

And I sure didn't want his appearance to be a surprise when he did.

I ran for the door.

Computer located Vai for me.

He was in his quarters which were located just around the corner from me.

I knocked on his door and didn't wait for him to tell me I could enter.

I shoved it open and stepped inside.

I immediately came to a stop upon seeing him wearing a towel that draped around his hips.

It did nothing to disguise his impressive manhood poking from underneath it.

It was obvious he had a good body from the way he moved, smooth and effortlessly from thousands of hours of practice.

But I hadn't expected him to look like this.

His body was muscled and toned and every bit as swollen and hard as Iav's.

For a moment, all thought and memory of why I was there left me and I was suddenly just a woman standing in a room with a gorgeous half-naked hunk before me.

Water dribbled down his horns and formed puddles on the floor.

"I, uh, I, um…" I said, suddenly unsure of the words that'd been fully locked and loaded before I stepped through the door.

Vai just looked at me, clutching the towel he'd been using to dry his horns and hair.

"What's wrong?" he said.

He must have noticed the look of concern that beat a staccato rhythm in my chest.

"Emma?" he said, crossing to me. "What is it?"

He held my arms and looked deep into my eyes, his golden irises shimmering and bright.

"Iav," I said breathlessly. "I can… He's coming. He's getting closer."

Vai snapped to attention.

"Where?" he said.

I pointed absently out the window in Iav's direction.

"Computer," Vai said. "Activate scanners and aim them in Iav's direction."

"Scanning now," Computer said.

Vai turned to me with fire in his eyes.

"We need to get ready."

"What do you think he'll do?"

Vai tugged at his towel and let it fall from his waist.

It pooled to the floor and revealed him in all his glory.

My throat tightened and my mouth turned dry.

"Uh…" I said.

"We'll go to the brig and prepare for anything he might come up with. If he's anything like me, he'll try something."

Vai seemed completely unperturbed by the fact he was naked and standing before me.

I belatedly turned my back on him but couldn't help but cast a glance over my shoulder.

He had the body of a Greek god.

Within moments, Vai was dressed.

He placed his hand on my arm and led me toward the door.

It hissed open and I followed Vai as he rushed toward the elevator.

"I thought we were safe in the minefield?" I said.

"We are. But with the Shadow, you never know what they might try next."

We stepped on the elevator.

It hummed and the lights of each floor flashed over our faces as we made our way up.

A crushing silence ensued.

"I… want you to know, I'm sorry for earlier," Vai said.

I shut my eyes and turned my head away from him.

I didn't want to talk about this.

Not now, not ever.

Especially not when we were trapped inside a tiny bullet-like room whizzing at a ridiculous speed.

Even if I wasn't angry at him any longer, I still felt sore.

I couldn't bring myself to say a word.

"There is another option," Vai said, unable to look me in the eye. "Another way to stop Iav from sensing you."

I ground my teeth and struggled to keep my hands at my side from smacking him in the face.

"I know already!" I spat, glaring at him. "You can fuck me and it'll make all my troubles go away."

His eyes flicked up to mine.

The hurt in them disarmed me, knocking me off my bullheaded stride.

"Not that," he said. "Another option. It's risky but others have done it before."

"What?"

"You can have the linked Severed."

Severed.

My stomach twisted at the word.

Since when did the word "sever" ever happen in a situation that made things better?

"Sever what?" I said.

"Sever the bond you share with Iav. It's a relatively new process. In the lead up to the Shadow War, they claimed every fated mate they could lay their hands on. We were on the brink. We weren't fast enough to return our fated mates to safety. That's when a talented doctor known as the Surgeon developed the Procedure. It meant cutting the bond before the Shadow could take our fated mates from us."

"Why didn't you tell me about this before?"

"It's the emergency option. To use when all other avenues have been exhausted."

I had never expected there might be a final option, much less that it might involve cutting a part of me.

"Is it safe?" I said. "Does it leave a scar?"

"It's not a physical thing. It works on a deeper level. It can cut the bond you share with my Shadow so he will never be able to track you again."

The look in his eyes was so sad and desperate it made me think there was more to the Severing than he was letting on.

Was he sad that he wouldn't get to fuck me?

Was that the reason?

I didn't think so.

It had to be something else.

When I thought the situation over, it came to me.

"Will Severing Iav also mean I'm Severing you?"

Once again, he didn't look my way.

"Yes," he said softly. "It means we will no longer be fated mates. We will go our separate ways and we'll never have to see each other again."

Despite my anger and frustration with him at his withholding of the truth, I couldn't help but feel sad at the idea.

Never see Vai again?

Was that really what I wanted?

My thoughts tumbled like tossed alphabet blocks and I couldn't get a good handle on my emotions.

My head might have been filled with cotton wool for how sharp I was thinking right then.

The elevator came to a stop and the doors hissed open.

The main bridge flashed with red warning lights and an alarm blared.

For now, I was going to have to put my emotions on hold.

Our survival was at stake.