Chapter Twenty-Six

Chloe

Iran my hands over the dress, admiring the smoothness of its material. Whatever it was, it seemed to be the same make as the glanis that were the everyday wear for most women in the Isles.

So different than the clothing I'd worn to the Dragon Isles and not just because of the ultra-lightweight communications gear that had been sewn into the seams of it.

That equipment was still there. I'd left it in place, not wanting to risk taking it out and getting caught until I had something to report. Then, as I spent more time with Silas, I justified my lack of reporting in by saying I had nothing worth breaking radio silence for.

Now, I looked at it anew and questioned my judgment. Was I really not trying to set it up because I felt I had no information to give? Or was I trying to avoid doing something I knew would hurt Silas if he found out?

A part of me felt stupid. I'd let myself be deluded into thinking things between us were real. That it was really good, and perhaps, I could stay in the Isles for the rest of my life. I'd been happy and lost in the role I was playing. A role I'd started to believe I could permanently assume.

Now, however, I had to wonder just how much of it was the truth. Shi had refused to divulge more information, but it was clear the circumstances of Silas choosing me as mate were different than what I'd thought.

I looked up as multiple thumps sounded on the roof.

"That will be them," Shi said from across the room where she sat perched on the edge of a sofa. She'd assumed that position immediately and hadn't left, constantly picking at her fingers, a surefire sign of nervousness.

I wondered just how confident she actually was that things would get sorted out.

We rose and left the sitting room, heading toward the stairs that led down from the roof. The men were already coming inside and halfway down the steps by the time we came into view.

I slid to a halt at the sight. Azarel was leading the way, his face a mask of cold anger. Silas matched him step for step on his father's right, a matching look on his face, despite the swelling, though it had subsided greatly. Caleb mirrored Silas. The father and his two sons, a united force at last.

Caine had made a large serious mistake that night, and I wondered just how badly his house would suffer for it.

Something he and I have in common, it seems.

Silas' anger eased somewhat at seeing me, but it was replaced quickly with confusion as I crossed my arms and waited for him to come to me. He had a lot of explaining to do.

As they approached, he leaned in and whispered something to his father before peeling off and approaching me. The others went right on by. Azarel ignored my existence, while Caleb gave me a nod before he was attacked by Shi, who flung her arms around him in relief and let herself half walk and half be carried off.

"What's wrong?" Silas asked once we were alone in the hallway.

"What's wrong?" My well-crafted statement fell apart at the simple question as a lot of emotions came pouring out in a jumble I couldn't detangle before speaking.

"What's wrong is, on one hand, everyone wants to kill me. On the other, I've got someone who apparently never even wanted to have me around in the first place. I'm not sure what's truth or lie, and I'm supposed to be damn good at figuring that shit out!"

I paused, breathing hard, shocked at how much I'd let slip out in that one unguarded moment. Was my anger really at Silas? Or was it at myself for letting things get out of hand and falling too deep into my cover without questioning it from his side a little more?

Silas stepped back at my onslaught. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you!" I half-shouted, poking him hard in the chest.

"Me? What did I do?" he frowned. "Is this because I sent you back with Shi? I told you I had to warn the others. That doesn't mean I don't want you around. I wanted you safe! So I knew you would be okay. How is that a bad thing?"

"Not that!" I snapped, trying to take a calming breath but only succeeding in getting more worked up. It didn't work. Why was I so distraught? It didn't make any sense! Knowing that, however, didn't help me relax. It only made me more frustrated. "I'm talking about the fact I'm here in the first place. With you. The entire reason I'm here. Something you didn't want at all."

Silas eyebrows shot up. "What on earth are you talking about?"

I leveled another finger at him. "All this time, you've led me to believe you willingly volunteered to take a human as a mate. That it was something you wanted to do, that you chose to do. But that's not true, is it?"

He worked his jaw.

"You basically lied to me," I said. "You allowed me to believe something that wasn't true."

"Chloe," he said, spreading his hands.

Instantly, I could see the truth.

"Don't try to weasel your way out of it," I snapped angrily in an attempt to cover up the unexpected stabbing of pain that came with the admittance. "You lied to me."

He threw up his hand sin frustration. "Yes, okay? I guess I did."

"See!"

"At first."

I blinked. "What do you mean ‘at first', Silas?"

"Are you being serious right now?" He sighed. "Okay. Yes. I did not go there that day willingly. I was somewhat tricked into it. Goaded, perhaps. There, is that what you want to hear? Are you happy? Do you want to leave now, or would you care to stick around and hear the rest of my side of things?"

"How can there be another side of it? You just admitted you were forced into choosing me. You don't care. You never did."

I was pouring it on hard, but I couldn't help it. It hurt. Not fake hurt. But real, actual pain. I'd wanted it to be different. For once in my life, I was starting to feel like I actually belonged, like someone wanted me.

Now, I was yet again disappointed. It hurt even worse to know I never should have let myself feel that way. I was on a mission. I'd forgotten that, and now, I was paying the price.

"Enough," Silas growled, his face filling with an anger that had never been directed at me before. "That is not true."

"You just said it was."

"At first," he barked. "Have you never heard of a love story that starts out for impure reasons and then morphs into something real, something infinitely better? Can you, Chloe? Because if you can honestly tell me that, then yes, perhaps this was never meant to be. But I have, and I'm no romantic. I know it happens sometimes. Even in the movies you see it."

I reeled at his use of the L-word. It was unexpected and shook me deeply. My heart was racing, and my brain took its time pulling together words. But it did. I was stronger than that, I wasn't about to be so easily won back over.

"Yes, I have," I said. "But in the real world, you know, where we live, those people talk. They tell the other person and admit their mistakes. They don't try to cover it up and then wait for the other person to find out by accident."

Silas winced. "You're right. You have me there. I didn't tell you. I should have."

"Why didn't you?" I asked. "Once it was clear we had something, why didn't you just come clean?"

Abruptly, the anger left his face, replaced with something more like discomfort. "Because," he said in a gentler tone, "I didn't want you to hate me. I wanted you to stick around, and … and I guess I thought you would leave if I did. That you wouldn't believe me that things had changed. Exactly like what's happening right now. You'd say I was a liar. I wasn't actually enjoying your company, even though I've never been happier. Because of you. Then you'd leave, and I wouldn't know what to do."

"I …" I licked my lips. What was I supposed to say to that?

Part of me wanted to forgive him then and there. To tell him I appreciated his honesty and coming clean, and we could work through it.

But panic was setting in, a tightening of my throat, fresh clamminess in my hands as everything locked up and refused to respond. It was all wrong. I was an agent on a mission. My mission was to spy on him and his people, to report all that back to my boss. How was I going to do that if I couldn't think straight, if I continued to let myself fall for him?

My mind was a mess, and I wasn't having any luck sorting it out.

"Come with me," Silas said abruptly, extending a hand toward me.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because," he said. "There's something I want you to have."