CHAPTER 28

Nika

After a moment, wecontinued to prepare for the night ahead. The plan was relatively flawless in my opinion, mostly because it wouldn't set off any alarms. Other than the usual guard, Yuma relied solely on barriers, traps, and magical enchantments to keep the box hidden and safe. Fae like her relied more on ancient magic than they did themselves—something Silas was confident he could break down without anyone knowing so I could reach the box and retrieve the souls trapped inside. If I didn't, Rilas would.

Better for them to be with me than him.

But before we could leave, I had one last thing to do...

The warmth of my father and mother's presence urged me to stay hopeful and not fall into despair when I thought of letting them go and taking the next step towards my uncertain fate. Because if I kept them, they were at risk with Rilas being a Soul Collector like I was.

I couldn't lose them again. I'd never forgive myself.

But when I thought about how I'd be doing everything without them, fear ate away at me. Once I collected the souls from the box, there was no going back, and maybe that was what scared me most.

Could I really do this? Collecting powerful souls from a dark box like the one Lev described wouldn't be simple. It'd require me to focus. I'd read about it in the journal he gave me. There were ways this could go wrong, though nothing indicated what those potential consequences were. What if by collecting their souls I was doing exactly what Rilas wanted? What if I was walking the darker path by doing any of this? What if I couldn't keep them or anyone safe?

Fear grew in my belly like a fungus, and I searched the journal for answers while trying to find the strength to say goodbye to some of the only people I'd ever loved.

Memories of my days training with Father and those beyond-words embraces my mother would give me when the world became too much to bear filtered through my head. I couldn't remember much about my mother, and I grieved the loss of those memories.

They were all I'd have after this.

Suddenly, memories from my mother's point of view grew across my mind. The first time she laid her eyes on me, still just barely minutes old, a wrinkly little crying thing. The powerful emotion of love that overtook her the second she called out my name for the first time. Then it quickly cut over to when I first smiled, giggling as she tickled my naked belly and cooed what a good baby I was. After, an image of her whispering her sweet affirmations of love into a slumbering purple-haired child's ear, singing the younger me to sleep. Soon, so many memories that it overwhelmed my head were offered to me, all so full of love that I couldn't keep the tears inside anymore.

One thing was clear, my mother and father had loved me every second they were alive—and every moment after they died. They'd done whatever they could to give me the happiness I was denied by the society I was raised in, despite knowing one day I'd be forced to fight those people without them.

A lifetime of tears fell from my eyes and burned my skin with their heat. Inside, I could feel my parents' tears. They were crying with me. I wasn't the only one afraid to let go. I wasn't the only one hurting and wishing it could've been different; that we'd been allowed to love each other the way we wanted to. I wasn't the only person who'd lost something because of the cruel and unforgiving hand of fate.

Maybe that was the reason I didn't apologize for crying or try to hide it. Because I wasn't crying for what I'd lost; I was crying for what they'd lost trying to prepare me for what I was inevitably going to lose.

Silas was frantic, holding my face and trying to figure out the reason I'd broken down like a baby out of nowhere. It was rather silly how many times it occurred in front of him when I rarely, if ever, cried in front of Lev. I'd always seen crying as a trait of a weaker, lesser person, but now I knew it was the strongest thing I could do.

"I have to let them go, and I don't know if I can. I don't want to say goodbye to them just yet, Silas. I'll...I'll be all alone again."

Lev's sad eyes stayed with me, but he didn't approach. Didn't try to say anything when any other time, he would. Instead, he let Silas hold me. He let the mercenary soothe the anguish tearing through my heart and soul.

"Oi, love, I figure that powerful bastard Bane and saucy-tongued mother of yours won't ever let you be alone. They'll find you in the next life. I know it might not mean much coming from a black-stained sod like me, but those two did everything they could to prepare for this. They even lingered to find you. There's no way you'll ever be without them. You're the strongest and most enchanting woman I've ever met. Even wankers like Bear Claw are drawn to you, though he can sod off for all I care." He scratched his head, cursing under his breath about blubbering trolls and knobheaded muppets. "What I mean is...we'll be here no matter where you go. Oh aye, we might not replace the people you've lost, but you'll never be alone again, my little rebel. You'd have to kill me first, and even then...no promises."

I snickered at that last bit.

I didn't realize how much I'd come to rely on Silas's every word and action. Whatever he said or did always put me at ease, and I always went searching for it when the fear and sadness was too much to bear. I couldn't explain it, but Silas always knew what I needed, and he always gave it to me. I'd never needed anyone like this. Silas had become the solid force behind my confidence to move forward and take on impossible odds.

"He's right, darling. We'll always be here to support you—in this life and the next. You might think you're letting go, but what you're actually doing is giving yourself the space to become. To grow and evolve without guilt and sadness weighing down your heart. But you'll never be alone. My sweet girl...you're beautiful and enigmatic. Such a light in all this darkness. No matter where you go, people will follow. And even when you doubt yourself, I know you'll always make the right choice. Always."

My mother's words resounded in my head before I looked down at the open journal, the scribbled madness of my friend's handwriting barely legible. He was rushing when he wrote everything, but I already knew what I needed to do. Like something inside calling out to me, I somehow understood all I had to do was let go of them. Set them free. Usher them into their awaiting afterlife.

Going onto my toes, I kissed Silas's cheek and pulled away.

He let me go, watching as I retreated, cleverly deciphering the resolve in my expression. With a nod, he crossed his arms and offered me the usual smirk. "That's it, love. Do what you have to do, and these arms are waiting to hold you again if you need them."

"Wow, taking advantage of my friend right in front of me? You've got some serious balls, mercenary." Lev grinned in my direction.

Huffing, Silas shrugged. "Talk about them all you want, you cute wanker, but these serious balls are reserved for that woman and her alone."

"What is it with humans and talking about their balls all the time?" Ryker complained out of nowhere. "Salvator, explain it to me like I'm a wolf and not a human."

"Ryker, you are a wolf," came Tometi's voice, missing the joke altogether.

"Is there anything in that damn book that puts these two in another room so I'm not subjected to this never-ending torture, woman?" Had I not grown accustomed to Bear Claw's tone, I might've missed the emotion floundering in his voice when he spoke. He might complain, but he was having fun.

"Call me woman or little girl one more time, and I'll spur them on, Bear Claw."

I sensed Salvator stir uncomfortably. It was an odd sensation to have these men in my head, but I understood them better now. Bear Claw, no matter what complaints he spat, had a compassionate heart. He'd proven it when he chose to stay.

"Please refrain from romanticizing who I am...Nika."

Smirking, I celebrated my small victory against the frigid shapeshifter and looked over to find Silas and Lev staring at me.

How I ever managed to be sad around these ridiculous bastards was a mystery to me. Even as I prepared to send my parents to their next life, I couldn't help but laugh to myself.

I sensed my parents' combined relief. It was what I held onto when I decided to finally let go. I wasn't alone, and I hoped desperately they'd find peace in their next life.

Closing my eyes, the sensation of my parents' warmth flowed over me, embracing me like they were solid and right there. I stayed with the warmth—with the feeling of love and hope—and then finally, I let it all go.

"Bloody fucking shit," Silas whispered as the wind howled inside the room and light burst out around me.

Lev had a hand over his eyes, blinded by the white, explosive light. But then both men froze after it calmed. White tendrils of smoke snaked through the air before puffing out and growing. The spectral tendrils gyrated and moved before shaping into two white, nearly translucent figures. They loomed in front of me, waiting.

"We love you more than the world itself. You're stronger than you know, Nika," they whispered in unison, their voices hauntingly beautiful before they faded away into nothing.

I closed my eyes, another tear escaping, but it wasn't out of sadness. Without understanding how or why, I simply knew that wherever they went, they'd be happy and at peace.