CHAPTER 19

Nika

Rubbing the metal-boundgem hanging from my neck between my thumb and forefinger, I stared at the house where I found my mother's necklace. It didn't matter how I got here, or even why, but something inside that house was calling to me, beckoning me back inside. Without understanding why, I knew I needed to find what was waiting for me.

Who was waiting for me.

Looking left and right, only the empty street where I stole Bear Claw's soul met my curious glance. It was empty, quiet. Nothing moved. Fog rolled over the asphalt, creeping over every surface and wrapping around my legs. I silently scanned the quiet street, then the dark house, knowing that something—someone—lurked inside, waiting, calling, desperate for me to come. Their energy reached out for me like a hand, propelling my body forward. With one last fleeting look at the eerily silent street, I headed into the house.

My heart thumped loudly in my ears. I didn't have any weapons, but something told me I didn't need them. Not here. Not with them. Ice bit at my exposed arms the second I threw the door open and the same abandoned space from before met my gaze.

Nothing was physically altered. Nothing had visibly changed. But it was colder, darker, permeated with an aroma evil and rich in the After, and it put me on guard.

Without really understanding why, I traveled through the entry corridor and up the stairs until I reached the room where I first found my mother's necklace. When I rounded the corner, a figure loomed in the middle of the room, their dark-cloaked back facing me.

But I'd know that shape anywhere.

I sucked in a breath, heart in my throat, as my father turned around, a despondent smile lifting his mouth. It was a shock to the system to see him standing in front of me after weeks, but something about my father was different, colder, less...him.

The powerful Fae's skin was deathly pale, nothing like the golden hue it normally was. It was a stark contrast to all the black he wore, giving my father a much more sinister feel than I was used to. His emerald-green eyes, which were ordinarily luminescent and full of warmth, had dulled and were no longer the vibrant things I remembered. The hollow look my always-smiling father offered me made my throat tight.

I couldn't explain it, but just by looking at him, I knew it already. Knew in my heart I was looking at the ghost of him. His soul was somehow trapped where it shouldn't be. It wasn't clear how, but I knew this wasn't where he'd...

Emotion bit at my eyes, rushing into my throat the moment I realized what the flickering illusion and pale, less vibrant version of my father suggested. I didn't want to say the word, didn't want to acknowledge what it all meant, but staring at him as my father faded in and out, translucent in some parts and disappearing completely in others, one single word floated in my head like an omen...

Dead.

The way the older Fae was staring at me lacked its usual energy, and I struggled to get closer. "Nika..." the green-eyed ghost whispered, his voice practically inaudible. Father's voice was the same echo and whisper as Bear Claw and his animal guides. It resonated in my head—a sound I hadn't heard with my ears but my mind.

Another nail in the coffin.

I swallowed, the gooseflesh rising all over my arms. "Father, what happened? Are you...?"

I swallowed, fighting back tears, unable to voice my question. Are you dead? The words clung to my throat like barbs, making it hurt every time I swallowed. Tears burned in my eyes, but I fought them. I refused to let them fall.

This is a dream.

My father's ethereal gaze, the one that never lacked affection and overwhelming tenderness, was oddly vacant and emotionless. The voices in my head were in the background, but I couldn't hear them. Couldn't understand what Ryker was howling about. All I could do was stand perfectly still as my father stepped forward, his pale skin beaming in moonlight.

"You need to come and find me," was all the older Fae whispered, his voice so faded and hoarse I nearly didn't understand him. "Before he does."

"He who?" I asked, walking forward. But every step I took didn't get me closer to my father. He always stayed just a little bit out of reach. My chest and stomach hurt when I couldn't wrap my arms around him and hold him like I'd been planning to do since he fled. "Dad, why are you here?"

My father's eyes beamed a dull glow, and his smile wavered, sensing something with a turn of his head. Then his eyes were back on me, and his lips drew a thin line.

"Come and find me, my darling girl," his deeply entreating voice whispered in my head, the emotion touching every part of me and making the tears stream down my face. His body flickered in and out of view in warning before he was gone. "Find me before he does," his soft voice echoed in the room, my father no longer anywhere in sight.

Air invaded my lungssuddenly and I sat up with a jolt, a desperate wail barreling out of me. "Daddy!"

I stiffened when someone wrapped their arms around me from behind, but Silas's voice soothed me before I could make a break for the trap door.

"What's wrong, love?" When the mercenary's face came into view, his golden eyes widened and then his hands were on my face, pulling me into his large lap with a gentle tug. Silas's voice was a thunderous growl when he demanded, "Why're you crying, little bird? Are you hurt? What did those head-squatting wankers do to you?"

I sucked in another breath, trying to figure out how to stop crying and speak at the same time. But emotion burst out of me, and I fell apart under Silas's tender affection. I collapsed into sobs that shook both my body and mind.

The faintest concern-laced howl echoed between my ears, distressed and yearning to come to my aid. I sensed their presence, their agitation and concern, their desperation to comfort me, but it was Silas who gathered me up against his chest and wrapped his arms around me with enough power to express his desire to soothe my pain and protect me from whatever hurt me.

The other Fae heaved a great breath and laid his head on top of mine, his massive arms constricting. "Let it out, love. It's just us here. You don't have to hold back anymore. You're safe."

He'd never understand how those words saved me in a moment where I couldn't fathom so much emotion building up inside of me. The pain could very well kill me. Slice out my heart and make it bleed all over this bed. I wasn't even sure if it hadn't already. Was I crying blood? If I put my hands out, would my broken heart fall to pieces inside of them?

It was an anguish I hadn't felt since my mother's death. It shredded everything it touched—my heart, my lungs, my stomach, my thoughts. Everything hurt, and I couldn't express in words what washed over me when Silas gave me permission to free it all; to let it go and release a lifetime worth of agony and hurt.

Burying my face in the crevice of the other Fae's neck, I let myself cry. I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. Every tear of grief for a father lost, knowing in my heart he was dead, knowing it wasn't a dream, knowing his soul was searching for me, it hit one after another in a cascade of grief and desperation.

Silas didn't ask anything else, just held me and dropped kisses on my head between strokes of my hair and back. Succumbing to the pain, I wrapped my arms around him and held on tight, letting myself grieve the way I was never allowed to before. The way I'd stopped myself from mourning the loss of my mother.

Even with Lev I'd held back. I never wanted to burden my friend with my pain, and he never pressed me about it. The kind Fae never asked me more than I was willing to answer. Lev always knew how to give me room to be who I needed to be at that moment.

But with Silas, I wanted to release it all. Lay it out for him to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and soul. Because he and I were the same—broken, damaged, held together by mere strings. He and I had suffered so much loss it bled from our eyes and pores. But even still, the other Fae would know what to do with those pieces. How to fix them. How to mend their jagged edges and fit them back together.

As I would, in turn, do for him.

Because he and I were two broken pieces that when put together became whole. Maybe that was why I was so drawn to him and permitted the cheeky Fae to see sides of me no one else saw. Maybe fate was real and my father knew one day I'd need him to dull my jagged edges so I could...

Survive losing everyone.

When the pain ebbed away to a dull throb and I grew tired of sobbing, I exhaled a shaky breath and tried to pull away. Silas's arms constricted around me, keeping my body locked to his, and I decided not to fight him. Even shifted with him as the larger Fae sprawled out over the bed and kept me securely in his brawny arms.

He wouldn't ask, so I spoke first. "He's looking for me. Well, his soul is," I whispered quietly, voice dropping out to another brief sob. But I pulled myself together to say what needed to be said. "My father is dead."

The muscles under me constricted, then rippled and moved when Silas shifted under me, holding my body impossibly close. I heard him let loose a long breath, his stone arms keeping me secure, safe. "We can't know—"

"I know it doesn't make sense, but I just know...know he's gone and his soul is searching for me. I have to go to him, Silas. Father told me someone was looking for him," I struggled to say, finally lifting my eyes to a glowing sheen of silver I was painfully familiar with now.

Silas's face was twisted in on itself. "That fucker," he growled so loudly it vibrated under my chest. "Where was this dream?"

I put aside my grief for the promise of vengeance. "The house where my father first sent me to unlock my power."

The mercenary's razor-sharp gaze cut down to me, and his power hummed beneath the surface of his skin. I could sense it growing with the fire in his eyes. "Then that's just where we'll go, princess."