Chapter 12

Red veils my vision. The beast begs to be let loose, to rampage and vent my fury. The only thing keeping it at bay is Ali by my side, her fear scenting the air, and the oath I made to her.

"Why are his eyes black?" Gisele says, and I swivel to her, watching in satisfaction as she flinches away.

"Get out of the kitchen," Danielle says, her voice pitched low. "Go. Everyone out." The women don't need to be told twice, fair fleeing from my sight.

Kaus stares me down, his jaw clenched. "Breathe, brother."

"Do not call me that," I snarl. "You will not speak of my mate. You will not think of our bond. You will not put this, this problem, my problem, on her shoulders. This is my burden to bear. This is mine. Not hers."

A frisson of movement catches my eye. Ali's trembling, her hands shaking against her thighs.

Kaus holds up his hands, the knife forgotten on the chopping block. "I understand, Lesath. I understand. I think that's very noble." His eyes widen meaningfully as he takes in my mate. "I think maybe she deserved to know that piece of information, however."

"This is not the time, Kaus," Dabin warns, slowly reaching for Danielle, putting his body between mine and hers. "Lesath, there are certain things you would need to complete the markings. You cannot show up empty-handed once you reach Donnora. There is a plant?—"

"Enough." I pack power into the word, and Dabin presses Danielle into him.

"Dabin, I swear to god, you always forget I have more firepower than you do." Her voice is muffled against his back. "You're driving me up the wall."

For some reason, her irritation, her mundane, normal irritation with her mate, is what soothes me. I breathe in deeply, closing my eyes. Exhale. Inhale.

When I open them, my vision is normal again, my heart slowed, the magic still roiling under my skin, but less likely to tear from me.

"We go to Donnora as soon as you have eaten, Ali," I tell her. I need her, stars above and below, I need her. She is my center.

But I will not hang my sanity on her slender neck. We will find the mage in Donnora, no matter how little I know of him, and then, when I am protected from the curse, we can take our time.

We have all the time in the world, after all.

"Like I could say no! I can't even stay here. I can't even get away from you, because you made me swear an idiotic magical oath. I have to go with you. Or have idiotic magic sex with you." A shrill laugh punctuates Ali's high-pitched ramblings, and I turn toward her, my chest hurting with every word that falls from her lips. "If we're gonna be a team, at the very least, you could like, clue me in that us going there is a secret. Or that hopping on the bang train would solve this problem! I set you off, again, and now you scared all the newbies, because you didn't trust me enough to tell me that. This is so stupid. I don't care what Cassie says; this is worse than Tinder. Way worse than Tinder!" With that, Ali clicks her jaw shut and fixes me with a watery glare.

"What does starting a fire have to do with it?" Kaus scratches his chin as he stares at her.

"Ahhhhh!" Ali throws her hands up in the air. "Pack us food, Lesath. Let's get this show on the road. I'm over it. I'm OVER IT!" She bellows the last words, then turns on her heel and runs from the kitchen.

"I hope you're happy, you big idiots." Danielle manages to elude Dabin's grasp, worming her way around him. "You all are the absolute worst when it comes to women. Uh-uh! Don't try to follow her now, Lesath. You stay right here. She needs space. God, we made a mistake letting her stay with you. What have you two been doing in that big, creepy castle, huh? It doesn't seem like it's been going great!"

Danielle's cheeks are flushed with color, and as she advances towards me, her fingertips flare with fire.

"Dani," Dabin says.

"No, Dabin. Nope. You all don't seem to understand that none of this is normal, not where we're from. You don't just get assigned a mate there. You get to choose, and sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn't. And sex is just sex!" She turns back to Dabin. "Not that I'm complaining about that, that's good. It's very good. Okay, what was I saying?"

"Sex is just sex," Kaus supplies unhelpfully.

"Right! It's just fun. Well, hopefully. And it doesn't mean forever! No one's sanity or magic is tied up in it. You all have to understand that this is a lot to take in for anybody, but especially women that don't have a way home, and are thrust into a completely new world."

"But," Kaus starts. Dabin shakes his head at him in warning.

"Don't even start, Kaus. You are the worst offender. You look at all of us like you're sizing up how we'll fit in your bed. It's gross. We're people, for crying out loud! Lesath, you stay here and pack supplies for your trip. I'll go see if I can calm Ali down."

Muttering in irritation to herself, Danielle wedges past me.

Dabin squints and raises his eyebrows. I return his wide-eyed expression, surprised at Danielle's ire.

"I do not do that," Kaus says, turning back to the vegetables. "I do not."

"You do and it's gross!" Danielle yells, still within earshot. "Be normal!"

"There's salted fish in the basement," Dabin says. "Plenty to take with you to Donnora. Hard cheese and bread, too. Come on, we'll load you up with food."

"I already have food. I'm cursed, not helpless."

"You do not have my salted and smoked fish, do you? Take the food, Lesath." Dabin's angry with me too.

I close my eyes, tipping my head back, regret thrumming through me. Dabin brushes past me, the sound of Kaus' knife work and the sizzle of bacon grease filling the small kitchen. I barely hear them.

All I can hear is Ali's pain. The echo of her words, of my failure, loud enough to deafen all other noise.

"You better follow him if you don't want to get yelled at again," Kaus says.

I grunt at him, wanting to vent my frustration and unable to.

He glances back over his shoulder at me, then puts the knife down and turns, leaning against the counter. One eyebrow raises. "Get over it."

"You have no idea what you are talking?—"

His expression darkens. "You have a mate, you ass. You have what the rest of us beg the stars for every night. What we've wished for the last hundred years, after all the Starbound women fled Vraya. And yet, here you are, squandering the opportunity to make things right."

"You are the last person to be giving relationship advice." I hate that he's right.

"That doesn't mean it isn't true." He wipes his hands on a spare towel, shaking his head. "Come on. Let's go down there and get what we need."

He shoves my shoulder as he passes, and I turn, shaking my head, before what he's said clicks.

"What do you mean, we?"

"Gisele and I are coming with you."

I blink rapidly, my eyebrows shooting up. "Is she your mate?"

"No. Maybe." He shrugs. "I don't care. I need the markings as well as you do. She already said she was going to tag along with you."

I snort. "As if I would risk traveling with two untrained Starbound women."

"Exactly. This way we can watch over them both and train them together. I assume you planned to take the long way?" He gives me a knowing look.

My lips clamp together, and I shoot him a sidelong gaze as he pushes the door to the cellar open. Starlamps flare a blue glow as the magic in them interacts with the power in our blood.

"That's what I thought." Satisfaction colors his voice.

"You're serious."

"As serious as a blood drinker under a blade."

I blow out a breath, following him to the basement.

Maybe it's for the best. Ali's made it clear that she despises me. Having Gisele and Kaus as a buffer between us might be best for her.

As for me, I am certainly not what's best for her.