Chapter 20

His shoulders bunch in front of me. As jaw-dropping as all that musculature is, it's easy to see he's irritated. Frustrated. I exhale through my mouth. I knew this would happen.

I knew it was only a matter of time until he would get tired of me. I stomp my feet as I walk. It's childish, but there's something supremely satisfying about venting my own frustration.

I clomp along, wrapping my arms around my waist and blinking into the growing sunlight.

"Lana, why are you upset?"

Goddammit. I forgot about the stupid emotional bond. I kick a rock, and it ricochets off my toe, which hurts like hell. "I'm not."

It's a lie, and we both know it. But suddenly I'm mad, like all the emotions I shoved aside for so many years are bubbling over, boiling to the surface. "I wish you would stop reading my emotions, or senses, or whatever."

He quirks an eyebrow, and his mouth twitches, like he's trying not to smile. He better not freaking smile. He's altogether too handsome with that thing.

"I'm not. You are stomping your feet. Is it your shoes? I can carry?—"

"No. I do not need to be carried! I can walk!"

His expression softens, bemused at my belligerent tone. Shame steam rolls through me immediately. He didn't deserve that. I sigh and rub my hand across my forehead. Gross. I forgot how dirty it was from touching the mural.

"I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that." I don't deserve you. The thought catches me off guard, and my breath stutters.

"No, I did not, but I can see you are upset. I am good at listening if you want to tell me. If not," he shrugs, and the sight is truly delicious, "then that is fine too. Or, if you like, I can tell you more about the history, or we can be quiet."

Why does he have to be nice? If he were mean, it would be easier to block him out, to stop the steady growth of my feelings for him. Now I feel like I want to cry again.

God, it's almost like I'm?—

Hormonal. Oh. Oh no.

I count the days, feeling nauseated. Brad would always blame any disagreements we had on hormones. Such bullshit.

His brow furrows. "You are pale. Are you ill?"

A high-pitched laugh crawls out of me. We had unprotected sex. My birth control is nonexistent here. And eventually, I'm going to have to figure out whatever passes for tampons or pads in this place.

"No. I mean, I'm not sick yet. But I will be, in a few weeks."

He closes the distance between us, stalking toward me with a determined expression. I freeze up. His gaze is predatory, and somehow, it manages to both scare and excite me. Because that's normal.

I blow out a breath, and he stops a few inches away from me. "I'm fine, Ras."

"You said?—"

"It happens once a month, okay? I don't know how to explain the birds and the bees to you, but when a woman is old enough to be able to carry a baby?—"

"You are with child?" His eyes are wide, his lips curving in a joyous grin. His hand strokes along my abdomen, and a pang goes through me. My goodness. He wants a child. With me.

I bite my lip, pushing his hand away. "No. I'm going to get my period. You know," I point to my privates at his blank expression, "bleed. In a few weeks I'm going get my monthly bleeding. Not right now though."

I'm not PMSing, that's not why I'm grumpy. Nah, this is regular, old-fashioned ‘I traveled to another dimension and have no other outlet for my stress other than to be a bit bitchy' grumpiness. Normal things like that.

That and I have a million and one commitment issues.

His face falls, and my heart skips a beat. Wow. He wanted me to be pregnant. It's overwhelming, and I can't stop myself from asking, "You want kids?"

Ras folds my hand in his, a tender expression on his face, his eyes full of heat. "I do. Someday. Children are one of life's many blessings. It would be my honor to raise our children."

"Oh." I push my hair out of my face, uncertain on how to respond to that.

"You do not want children?" He studies my face, and I cringe, preparing for a lecture, or some kind of pleading rebuttal to the question.

"I don't know." It's the truth. It's too much, way too soon. "I knew I didn't want them with… with the man who hurt me. I didn't want that for a child. I didn't want that for anyone."

He nods, his blue eyes serious. His big hand reaches out to my face, and I sigh into his touch. "We do not have to do anything you do not want, Lana Kit. I have waited centuries for you, and you alone. Children would be a blessing and an honor, yes, but you, my Lana, are all I need."

My heart melts, some of the icy scars fading away under his words.

"We will find materials for your courses. Do not fret."

It takes me a minute to process the archaic word. "Ah. Yes. Okay. My courses."

I get the feeling that Ras is the kind of man who would definitely go to the store to get me tampons and chocolate. Brad wouldn't even let me keep tampons where he could see them.

But Ras? His smile is so warm, his hand so gentle on mine, that I keep a firm grip on it as we walk from the cave and into the sunshine.

We've emerged into a forest, towering pines all but blotting out the sky above. The ground crunches with needles, and I sink with every step.

I crane my head, listening to bird calls and songs I've never heard before. Something dark skitters among the branches, and I press closer to Ras. It feels ancient, and I cannot shake the strange sense that something is watching me. Waiting.

"This is the Alsewood." Ras moves quickly, catlike, and I follow him as best I can in my two-dollar flip-flops. The air is chill, and goosebumps scatter across my skin.

"Is it safe?" It sure as hell doesn't feel safe.

He smirks down at me, sharp white teeth flashing. "You're with me, Lana. Of course, you are safe."

Oh. Well. I guess turning into a lion does have its perks.

We trudge along in silence. The forest seems to demand it, and Ras doesn't offer up much in the way of conversation. Apparently, the history lesson is over. His upper lip curls up, and his gaze sweeps the forest in front of us. Nothing escapes his notice: from the distant crack of a branch to the rabbit watching us on hindlegs.

The Alsewood appears endless. Trees tangle together, the forest floor practically bare save the needles and odd vine or bush. Sweat beads along the back of my neck, and still, we push on. My thighs ache, the flip-flops rubbing a blister between my toes.

I'm so caught up in trying not to complain that when Ras halts, his nostrils flaring as he inhales.

"Wait here." His voice is gruff, and then he darts off, leaving me in the oppressive gloom.

I shiver, holding my arms around myself. A damp chill seeps through the air chasing away the warmth. It's enough to make my teeth chatter. I am sick of not having clothes. A Target bra, pajama shorts, and dollar-section flip-flops does not a wardrobe make.

Longingly, I think of the suitcase I packed tight with my clothes: light sweaters and my favorite t-shirts and jeans ripped just right, and I would give my left arm for a good pair of leggings right now. And sneakers. Some serious sneakers or hiking boots would be?—

A branch snaps, so close I can hear the thud of the pieces on the soft forest floor. I whirl, crouching. Heat arcs across my back, and I inhale sharply as power courses through my veins.

"What is this?" A soft voice comes from my right, and I swivel to face it.

My mouth drops open, even as heat races across my arms. The tips of my fingers tingle.

"A Starbound woman, in the middle of the Alsewood?"

I strain, trying to find the creature speaking. It sounds like a man, the voice deep and sure, but something about it whispers to me that it's not just a man. The hair stands on the back of my neck.

"Show yourself." My voice comes out even. Demanding. It surprises me.

"A Starbound woman in her power, no less. Mated. What a fascinating development."

Hooves clop into the clearing, and I back up a step, following the line of the equine body. My jaw drops, my heart racing. Light shimmers around my hands.

It's a freaking centaur. His torso is lean and muscled, giving way to sculpted shoulders. His face is all angles, sharp jaw and sharper cheekbones, dark eyes staring out from darker brows. A hint of sadness creeps through his sardonic smile, and the faint curl of his lip can't banish it.

I stare, my hands arcing with power I have no idea what to do with. At the thought, it fizzles out, and the centaur's smile grows. My gaze slides to the wicked looking bow in his hands. The air around him shimmers, and my ears pop.

I wince, and when I look up, the massive centaur is gone. A man stands before me. Towering well over six feet, he's handsome as the devil, if you're into that kind of thing.

I gulp. The bow is drawn, the arrow pointed straight at my chest.

"Where did you come from, little Starbound woman?"

I flex my hands, scowling at him. "Where did you come from, my little brony?"

I mean, it's not the best insult, considering he won't have a clue what it means, but it made me feel a little better. If I'm going to get shot with an arrow, at least I went down with some sass. I flex my shoulders, trying to call on the starlight, focusing my mind.

Shouldn't it be easy by now? Isn't that what Ras said? Uncertainty coils around me. Starlight be damned. I'm not going down without a fight. I clench my fists.

"I am not brony. I am Kaus." He inclines his head politely, which is doubly strange, considering he's holding me at gunpoint. Arrowpoint. Whatever. "Why do you Starbound women always call me the wrong name?" He sounds disgruntled.

"Are you going to shoot me? Wait, you've seen others like me? Blonde hair?" Has he seen my sisters?

"Brown hair."

Disappointment leaves me weak.

He tilts his head, considering. "And that depends. Which blood drinker do you belong to? When did they pull you through the doors?"

"I don't belong to a blood drinker, you asshole. And by the way, they're called vampires."

"This is not the first time I've heard this word." His eyes narrow to slits, and he lessens the pressure on the bowstring a little. "How do you know what they call themselves, if you are not with them?"

I put my hands on my hips, annoyed. "Because I'm not an idiot, pony boy."

He bares his teeth. "Watch your mouth."

"She's mine." A roar fills the air around us, and a heartbeat later, Ras is there, throwing Kaus to the ground. I duck as an arrow flies past my head, so close air rushes by my cheek and ear in a zip. All the breath whooshes out of me, relief flooding me. Ras is here. I'm safe.

"Ras Elasad, by the stars above and below, where have you been?" Kaus wheezes, his eyes wide, Ras' hand around his throat.

Ras is wild-eyed, his gaze raking me over. My heart squeezes. "I'm okay."

"You scared her."

"She has a mouth on her."

Ras' knuckles whiten, a hairsbreadth away from violence. "Do not speak of her mouth."

"I meant no offense."

"He did," I offer. "He was very offensive. But he didn't hurt me."

Kaus scowls at me, though now that Ras has him pinned, it's annoying more than anything. I shrug. "You were."

"I would not shoot a Starbound woman, Ras."

"Oh, you'd just scare them, then?" I huff in irritation, my pulse still pounding in my ears.

"You're lucky I am in a good mood, Kaus." Ras vibrates with barely checked emotion, standing up and giving Kaus a hand up.

"Where did you go? Why did you leave me?" My voice cracks, but I hold my chin up high, refusing to cry. In front of Kaus, at least.

"I smelt one. A blood drinker."

Kaus jerks his chin in agreement. "I was hunting them. Then I stumbled upon her." His eyes rake over my body, and I cover myself as best I can with my hands. "She's your mate." Kaus's voice is soft, full of wonder.

"By the stars, Ras, how? They are supposed to be gone, after what the Butcher King did."

"I wished on a star and woke up here. And she can hear you, by the way." It irritates me, the way Kaus speaks to Ras like I'm not here.

"You have spirit, Starbound. Which are you?"

"Lana Kit."

"Alnitak, Orion House." Kaus taps a finger against his chin, thoughtful.

"How does everyone know that right away?" I ask, completely perplexed. Never once in my life has someone figured out what my scrambled name referred to.

But Kaus' attention returns to Ras. "Are there others? Another came through, a month or so ago."

Ras nods, then stops. "Her sisters came through the same door. They are already taken."

Kaus's gaze turns speculative. "Who?"

Ras snorts. "Don't."

"What?" I ask.

"He's thinking of fighting for one of your sisters. Lana, you could show him why it won't matter." Ras suggests, an apologetic smile on his face.

"Maybe I don't want to." I cross my arms over my chest. I don't want to show him my back.

"That's your choice."

I scrunch up my face, annoyed. He almost got me shot, the big buffoon, and now he wants me to show off the constellation on my back? His mark on me?

"I'm not property."

Kaus chuckles low in his throat, the noise dying as Ras growls deep in his throat.

It'll be faster if I show and tell. I sigh and turn around. Warmth pools in my shoulders, and I close my eyes, knowing the light is licking across my skin. "That's why."

When I turn back, Ras is holding his arm aloft too, showing off the sign of Orion near his wrist. It soothes me a little, to see him proudly displaying his mark of our bond.

"Fated." The word is an exhalation, an exultation. "By the light, I thought it impossible for more. But you said it was only the sisters? Dabin's mate came through a gate."

He sounds so sad, yet hopeful, that part of my irritation with him fades away. I turn back, shivering slightly.

"Ras, where have you been? We have long lost the advantage. We thought you dead… or worse."

"I am sorry, brother. I slept. I don't know how, or why. I woke and barely knew myself, barely remembered speech. How long have I been gone?"

"A hundred and some-odd years."

Ras winces, rubbing a hand over his jaw. Anxiety and disbelief roll off him, and I move towards him, needing to comfort him. I rub a hand across his bicep, staring up at him. Guilt batters me as I push against his emotions. I close my eyes, offering affection, offering strength. Nudging it towards him through our bond.

Ras's eyes meet mine, and he curls his fingers around my chin, dipping his forehead to mine. "Thank you." His breath ghosts over my face, and I'm frozen with the sudden desire to kiss him, audience be damned.

Danger. Danger. I have got to slow down. I need to give myself time. Damn traitorous body.

"What I wouldn't give…" Kaus says. He stares at the patch of sky visible through the trees. The air around him ripples, and with a pop, he's back in centaur form.

"Dabin has a mate?" Ras asks. "We were headed his way. My Lana wishes to ensure her sisters' safety, so we will need aid for our journey. We have much to discuss, as well. The harbingers… one attacked us."

Ras's voice snaps with authority, and Kaus nods once. "It's gotten worse since I last saw you, old friend. We fear the time nears. More came through recently, a few days ago, in fact."

They both look at me, and the heat intensifies on my back. A light blue aura shimmers around me.

"I don't know how to turn it off," I confess.

"You will." Ras strokes a hand down my back.

"Perhaps there is hope after all," Kaus says cryptically.

"How far is it, to Dabin's?" I ask.

"A half day's walk for a two-legged woman, and that's just to the edge of the Alsewood." Kaus points. "Dabin's is another half day's walk from there."

I can't help the sigh that tears out of me. I'm tired. My legs hurt. My toes have blisters. I'm pretty sure I have a splinter.

"Half that for us, then," Ras says. "Less, if we hurry."

"I can carry her. It's no trouble," Kaus offers.

A menacing growl rips through the space. In an instant, Ras shifts into his lion form. I gape. He's been human, or at least human-looking, for so long, I forgot how gigantic he is like this.

Ras lowers himself to the ground, purring. I pat his fur, marveling at his softness.

"I guess he wants you to ride him, instead." Kaus's grin is a wicked thing, and I narrow my eyes at him. "I would join you both, but I have a hunt to finish. And I never leave a kill on the table." His eyes flash, his smile sharpening.

"So sorry to hear that," I lie. Kaus unsettles me. Maybe because he was going to shoot me, and I do, in fact, have some sense of self-preservation. Carefully, I scramble aboard Ras's back, trying not to think about the rage banked in Kaus' expression.

It's nothing like the few times I've ridden a horse. As a lion, his ribcage is huge, and the way he moves is distinctly strange. I wrap my hands around his fur, attempting to anchor myself to his ruff.

"Stop purring," I whisper, disconcerted. I so do not need vibration between my legs right now.

Ras makes a chuffing noise that I recognize as a laugh, thanks to our bond, and then he moves. I tighten my grip on his coarse ruff, pressing myself into his muscled body. Wind whips around my face, the trees blurring as he hits top speeds.

My heart thrums a staccato beat, and my eyes water. The fear of falling ebbs, and exhilaration surges.

I've never felt so free in my life.