Chapter 26

Heaven.

I was back in Heaven, where it all began.

Blinking the brightness away took a moment longer than I would have liked because we were in near total darkness. It wasn't long before I felt the pull of gravity on my bones, as if some powerful force was pressing down on my shoulders, trying to push me into the ground.

We had arrived at the mouth of the Pit.

The most damnable place in all of Heaven, the Sacred City's dirty little secret—or as mortals would probably put it—the asshole of the universe. It was a place that shouldn't exist. A place that went against everything Heaven was supposed to stand for, what it was supposed to mean.

But it was here. The Pit into which all of Heaven's problems go, only to be spat out in another dimension leagues below. None of the angels assembled around the mouth of the Pit had ever been here, but I had, and so had the demons who joined us now. We knew this place well, knew its power, its purpose.

A flickering light caught my eye, and when I looked up, there was Lucifer, dangling from the ceiling suspended by ropes made of Light. I wanted to say that he looked defeated, or even deflated. That he looked like someone who had just lost the war he was fighting because he was too proud and too arrogant to even consider he could be outsmarted or outplayed by his underlings.

He wasn't even angry, not anymore.

In fact, he kind of looked… amused.

Micah came up beside me, the cherub looking like he'd just stuck his hand into an electrical socket. His curly blond hair stuck out in places, his hands were still glowing, and his entire face appeared to be covered in angelic runes that were slowly fading.

"That's it," he said. "We did it."

I looked around at the angels and demons assembled near us. "Where's Azrael?" I asked.

"Here," came Abaddon's voice. He had already broken off to try to find her. In his arms he carried her, the crowd parting for him as he moved toward me, his giant bat wings curled around his shoulders. Though her face was turned into his chest, I could tell it had been smashed almost beyond recognition.

Seeing the smear of blood across her cheek made my stomach turn.

"Is she dead?" I asked.

Abaddon's jaw clenched. "She has a pulse," he said, "but not much time."

"That looks like it hurts," said Lucifer. "Say, how about you let me go and I'll fix her right up?" He clicked his fingers, his Light chains rattled and hummed. "Just like that."

I turned my eyes up at him. "I won't let her die," I said.

"Good luck helping her. I'm the one who did the deed, so I'm the only one who can put her back together again. I'm certainly not going to do it from up here."

"You're going to keep your mouth shut."

"Or what? You're going to kill me? If you could've done that, you would've done it by now instead of stuffing me up here again. I honestly can't believe I fell for it, but I won't fall for it next time. Next time, I'll just kill you all first, then find someone to kiss my feet."

"You aren't getting out of here," said Micah. "Ever."

"That's what the last cherub said. I have to admit, I didn't expect you'd have the little stones to do this. Well played. Really. When I get out of here again and kill all these ingrateful fucks, I'll let you watch and kill you last. It'll be fun for the both of us."

I came up to Abaddon and Azrael, trying my best to look at him and not at her. The last time he'd held a woman in his arms, I had lost my absolute shit and left him and everyone else behind. I had been so consumed by Envy, and by Wrath, that I hadn't been able to see clearly. I hadn't been able to truly understand the pain Abaddon had been going through at the prospect of losing Kalmiya; the first angel he met after the fall.

This time, I wouldn't make that mistake. This time, I could see the reason for his pained expression. Guardians and Warriors were made in pairs, and Azrael was his twin, the closest thing to a sibling—to real family—that any of us would ever have. I wasn't going to let her die, but no matter what I did to her, no matter how much of my own Light I gave her, she wouldn't regain consciousness and her wounds wouldn't close.

"Save her…" he said.

I turned my eyes up at Abaddon, his own pain reflected on my face. "I'm trying…" I breathed, "but I don't know if I can."

"I already told you," said Lucifer. "There's nothing you can do for her. All you've accomplished by bringing me up here is delaying your total and complete annihilation. "I suppose you could see that as a win, but trust me, I've got time. I can wait." He gave Gadriel his attention, now. "And you… you and I are going to have a little talk."

"I'm sick of hearing you talk," she spat. "I thought you were a King. A God. We all thought you were so much more than what you actually are. You're a cosmic disappointment. A joke. A reject."

"If I'm a reject, what does that make you?"

Gadriel looked like she was about to march up to him and slash at his throat with her claws, but Missolis grabbed hold of her shoulder and shook her head. "It's not worth it," said Missolis. "Don't engage him. We have to decide what to do with him now that he's here."

"Right," said Lucifer, "because none of you have a clue what happens next, do you?"

"And you do?" asked Micah.

"I do, in fact. Do you want to hear it?"

"You're going to tell us anyway."

"I am, because you're all morons who need to have everything carefully explained to you. It's simple, really. You're going to try to figure out what to do with me, because you haven't thought this far ahead. Then you're all going to die of starvation, or dehydration, or whatever those mortals die of. Then, when you're all gone, no one will be here to stop me from breaking out of this place."

"Medrion was the one who broke you free," I said.

"And who manipulated Medrion?" asked Lucifer. "Who manipulated you? If you think for a second I haven't been tugging at those strings since I was put in here, orchestrating my own escape since the day I was chained up, you're deluded. The difference is, I'll still be here in a thousand years pulling the strings of countless idiots who will do what I need them to do and get me out of here. What about you?"

"That's where you're wrong, Lucy," I said. "Or have you forgotten? You're mortal now, too."

"Maybe. But I'm less mortal than you are. Do you really want to bank on all of us dying of old age sometime in the next sixty years, or do you want to think with your brain and cut a deal? Because that's the only way she survives."

"I could kill you," said Abaddon, "and be done with it."

"And what would that accomplish, hmm? Heaven stays broken, your friend stays dead, and Earth keeps spiraling into oblivion. Or are you hoping that by coating your hands with my blood you'll somehow wash away all the other blood that's already on your hands? Seriously, it's like you only know one trick—like, learn a new trick already. Even dogs can do it."

Abaddon looked at me. "Let me kill him."

I shook my head. "We can't."

"She's right," said Lucifer. "You needed me all along, you just refused to accept my terms. Well, now you're all screwed."

It was Micah who perked up. "What happened to you, Lucifer?" he asked. "You were meant to be the best of us."

"Those words have been uttered in this chamber before," said Lucifer. "You won't be the last creature to say them."

"I remember the day God made you. She was so proud of what She had done… so utterly filled with joy the likes of which I have never seen again. To her, to all of us, you were the most precious thing in all of creation. You broke Her heart… all of our hearts."

Lucifer turned his eyes away from Micah. "Save the guilt trip. That ship has sailed."

"I don't think so. I think there's part of you that regrets the things you did, the way you turned on Her. On us. You never wanted to be thrown in here. You never wanted to hurt anyone, not really."

"What are you, my therapist?" Lucifer hissed. "I told you to save it."

"Look at them… angels, demons, they were made in your image. They all looked up to you, and you let them all down. But you have a chance to make it right. Here. Now."

"It's too late for me, just like it's too late for all of you. When I get out of here, I'll show all of you what happens when you cross me."

Missolis took a step toward the edge of the Pit, to stand out from the other angels and demons assembled in the cavern. "For the longest time," she said, "I hated you and everyone who followed you. I thought you were a liar, a traitor—gutless and craven."

"Anything else you want to add to that colorful list?" asked Lucifer.

She shook her head. "I was wrong," she said. "You're damaged, just like the rest of us. I should've seen it, maybe we all should have. But I see it now."

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Congratulations," he said, sarcasm lacing his voice, "you can make an observation. What else can you do with only one working eye?"

Missolis took a deep breath. "You set us all on this path. You were responsible for the creation of this Pit, and for the Hell into which we were all thrown. The Hell we have endured all this time. But here, standing amidst my closest allies—and my new allies—I want you to know," she paused. "I forgive you."

"You can keep your forgiveness," said Lucifer. "I don't want it."

The demon Etari came up beside Missolis. "I forgive you," he said, in his gruff, deep voice.

From behind him, supported by two other demons, came Malachi. He glanced over at me, then looked up at Lucifer. "I forgive you," said Malachi.

One by one, the demons gathered around Lucifer stepped up to offer him their forgiveness. I wasn't sure what he hated more, being chained up, or this. It wasn't long until an angel stepped forward and joined the demons to pardon Lucifer for all the wrongs he had committed. Then, others joined.

Lucifer didn't seem to know where to look, or even what to say anymore. He'd had a lot to say at first, but now he was just watching the crowd as it gave him… well, not exactly what he wanted, but hopefully what he needed.

When Lucifer had told me about the threat he felt from other deities and their minions… that was when I knew, he was scared. He had been cast out, thrown into the cold, and left there to endure an eternity of suffering. Cut off, alone, abandoned by the only family he could ever know.

He felt like he had no one. No one to protect him, no one to care for him; no one to remember him after he was gone. For the first time since he was created, Lucifer had been brought face to face with mortality, and he had been terrified of it.

Lucifer was the first of us to fall, the first of us to endure God's wrath, but he wasn't the last. God developed a taste for dishing out vengeance, and I couldn't blame Her. Vengeance was like a drug. An addiction. But God wasn't like every other creature to have ever existed. She was omnipotent, omnipresent, and all-knowing. I had to believe it was all for something. That there was meaning to all of this.

And maybe the meaning was this.

That angels would rally around the first of their kind, the first of an imperfect species, the one who suffered the brunt of God's displeasure… and find a common thread none of them had ever considered was there.

Not that we were angels of Light, or that we were noble, and good, and that to behave in any other way marked us as other at best, or as demon at worst. We were supposed to realize that we were in fact all flawed, imperfect beings who would one day have to rely on each other to survive in a world that wasn't built for them.

Because one day She would be gone, we would all fall, and we would only have each other.

I didn't have all the answers, and it would've been nice to have been told all of this beforehand. It would also have been good for someone to tell us that sinning against God's commandments and rules turned us into eternally hungry, mindless monsters driven by an insatiable desire to consume the Light of other angels.

But God wasn't terribly good at communicating Her intentions with others.

I stepped up beside Micah and the others and looked up at the first angel. He looked directly at me, silently staring, waiting to hear what I had to say because that was all he could do.

"I'm a Lightbringer," I said. "I'm closer to you than most, and… I feel like that gives me an insight only I can have. I feel your pain, Lucifer. You were thrown out of your own home by a creator who was distant, vengeful, and maybe even cruel. Then She made us, and we turned out to be just as broken as you were, so She made all these rules for us to follow. But it didn't work."

Lucifer scoffed. "Tell me something I don't know."

I paused. "She died of grief."

Lucifer stared me down. "How do you figure?"

"She wanted us to be perfect. We weren't. We were meant to guide humanity, to lead them towards good—towards science, and kindness, and love. Instead, we warred amongst each other; angel against angel, eternally locked in the struggle over the soul of humanity that infected our entire species, divided it, made it rot from the inside. We fought because we all thought we knew better than each other. She couldn't take it anymore."

"Is that meant to make me feel bad?"

"No, but I hope it gives you perspective. Maybe a little understanding. We aren't your enemies, Lucifer—look at us. Angels and demons standing together in Heaven, in the place you were thrown into for your crimes. Together, we have all chosen to forgive you."

"Your forgiveness implies guilt on my part."

"Don't you have any? Not for rebelling against God, but for what you've done to us. We're all you have, Lucifer. She's gone, and She's never coming back. You can choose to spend the rest of your mortal existence in here, by yourself, locked away from anyone and everyone who could ever possibly care about you. Or you can take one final, good action."

Lucifer's eyes narrowed. "One good action," he said. "And what's that meant to be?"

"Undo the damage you've done. Fix the machines. Help Azrael."

"That's three actions."

"You're really splitting hairs, right now?"

His jaw tightened, lips pressing together. "Even if I wanted to," he said, "I can't do all of those things."

"You can't?"

"You said it yourself—I'm mortal now. Plus, your little cherub friend sapped so much of my juice it'll take a minute for me to recover, if I ever get it all back."

"There is a way," said Micah. "It's quite simple, really."

"Oh?" asked Lucifer. "Enlighten me."

Micah shrugged. "There are more than enough of us here to accomplish all of those tasks if we pooled our resources and did them together."

"Then you don't need me, so why don't you just leave?"

"But we do need you. Your Light, your power, it's the last true godlike power left. You won't be able to use it from here, but we… we'd be able to use it out there."

"I'm not sure I'm catching your meaning."

"We could've taken your power from you already… I'm asking you to give it to us willingly."

"You want me to give you my power? And then, what… I'd die?"

Micah's head moved from side to side. "If we'd taken it from you, yes, you would've died. But if you give it to us… you would become us. You would truly live on forever, long after we're gone. We would carry you with us to the end of time, or until some other God gains favor over the race of mortals and we fade away into the halls of memory like so many other deities have before us."

"And you're okay with that? Fading away and becoming stardust?"

"From stardust we came, to stardust we shall return. But together we have a fighting chance to fix some of the damage we've caused. Help us, Lucifer. Be the angel you were made to be."

"Help…" croaked Azrael, "us…"

She hadn't moved. Her face was still pressed against Abaddon's chest, her hair covering the worst of the damage done to her skull, but she was alive.

"You wanted to win," said Abaddon. "This is how you win."

Lucifer's lips pressed together again, he turned his head to the side, and stared at the cavern wall. He then looked down at me again, at all of us, smacked his lips and said, "What the hell… it beats rotting down here."